Chapter 29
“Where is she?”
Cassian stormed through the house, completely aware that his mother was following him. He could feel her smile on the back of his neck, and he knew in that moment that he truly hated her.
“I do not know,” she repeated. “Perhaps she has finally seen sense and has left. I would have done the same, given the chance.”
“Then you are fortunate, for if you do not tell me where she is, you will be sent away immediately.”
“Of course, you would threaten to do that to your mother. After everything I have done for you, you would be so cruel as to send me away.”
“And what, pray tell, have you done for me?” he snapped. “I have spent my life in misery, trying desperately to make you love me again, even though I knew you never would. I have had to shoulder the blame that you placed upon me as a boy, and it has ruined me. Why would I be grateful for that?”
“I never told anyone,” she seethed. “You killed the man I loved, and I never told anyone. I could have had you locked away for the rest of your life or worse, but I did not. I have been cordial to your excuse for a wife, even accepted her. I am a good person, Cassian.”
“If that is what you must tell yourself,” he bit out, before turning away and calling for Adelaide again.
He was trembling from the effort to maintain his composure.
He wanted to scream at his mother, to tell her that she had ruined his life and that he would never recover, but he did not want to give her the satisfaction.
He knew what he would do: find his wife, promise to never act as he had again, and then send his mother where she could no longer hurt them.
But he had to find Adelaide first.
“Where is she?” he barked. “And if you do not think that I will make good on my threat, then you are more than welcome not to tell me.”
She sighed dramatically, a glint in her eyes. He knew that look; it was one of deception. But he knew he could find the truth in it.
“If you must know,” she said slowly, “I saw her climb into Hargrave’s carriage. When you left, she smiled at me and said that she could at last be with the man she truly loves.”
The thought sent searing heat through him. He knew that Adelaide hated Hargrave, but the thought of her in his arms made white-hot rage surge within him.
“That is not true, and you know it. It does not matter how angry she was with me; she would never—”
“Wouldn’t she? Tell me, Cassian, how well do you know her?”
“Well enough to know that she would never do that. She respects our marriage, and it is clear to me that you do not.”
He walked away, only to stop by the front door. His butler was standing there, facing away but watching them out of the corner of his eye.
“Have her sent away,” he instructed. “She can be anywhere but here. I just want her gone before I return.”
“Cassian,” his mother called. “You do not mean that.”
“Oh, I most certainly do.”
Regret filled her eyes, but he did not give her time to explain herself.
He no longer cared. He had given her years to fix what she had been so determined to break, and since she was never going to change, he had to remove her from his life.
“She has gone to the village,” she shouted to him as he walked out.
At last, she had given him the truth, but it changed nothing. He would give Adelaide the chance to convince him to let her stay, but as far as he was concerned, he was never going to see her again.
He had let her manipulate him for too long, and it had led to him losing Adelaide. He deserved the blame, but he was not alone in it.
The carriage took him to the village, and when he spotted one outside the tavern, he hammered his fist against the ceiling to signal the driver to stop. He leaped out and dashed inside.
The patrons turned to him with a look he hardly ever saw.
“Have you finished conducting your business early?” the owner asked.
“My business?”
The owner looked at him in bewilderment. “Your wife said that she was here alone, as you were away. I do not believe that she is expecting you.”
Cassian felt such immense relief, knowing that Adelaide was safe and that he had found her. He explained to the owner that he had wrapped up his business early and had come to surprise her. Soon after, he was led to her room.
He expected her to scowl at him the moment he entered, to show him no forgiveness. However, what he was not expecting was to see her in tears, surrounded by three ladies he did not recognize.
They looked sharply at him, before scurrying away, leaving the two of them alone.
“Adelaide, I—”
“Do not say a word,” she whispered.
But he had not gone in search of her to remain silent.
He sat beside her and studied her. There was no light in her eyes, and he was tormented that he had caused that.
“Your mother,” she choked out. “She… Why are you here?”
“Because I have been the most foolish man in England,” he sighed. “I was wrong to run, Adelaide. You did not deserve it, and I can understand if you hate me because of it.”
“I do not. It is as I told you: I understand how you feel, or at least I would like to. I am pleased, though, that you see the error in what you did.”
“It was truly odious of me, and it will never happen again.”
Without thinking, he took her hands in his own. Her eyes widened at his touch, but she did not pull away.
“Adelaide,” he continued, “I am not the man you need me to be. I have known that since the day we met. Yesterday, I had the same thoughts over and over. They have all said that I am unworthy of you, and that I should continue to run so that I do not destroy you.”
“Then why are you here? What do you want from me?”
“One last chance. All I ask is a chance to prove that I can be a better man for you. I am a man of many flaws, but you are not worth losing. I want to try, to give our marriage a real chance.”
A single tear slid down her cheek, and instinctively, he reached out to wipe it away with his thumb.
They were closer than they ever had been, and when she looked up at him with the faintest hope in her eyes, he could no longer hold back.
He kissed her gently, hoping that it would prove to her just how he felt. Her arm snaked around his neck, pulling him closer, and at last he felt the acceptance he had spent years longing for.
When they broke apart, she was feverish, a small smile on her lips. But then it was replaced by the same darkness he had seen when he entered the room.
“What is it?” he prompted.
“I-I do not think I can say.”
“Adelaide, you want us to be open with one another. Whatever it is, we can get through it. I will not be angry with you.”
“It is not me,” she sighed. “It is your mother. Those ladies were in here because they wanted to tell me something, and it has changed everything.”
Cassian sat back, exhaling deeply through his nose. He had arranged for his mother to be sent away based on what he knew, and he could scarcely believe that there might have been more to it.
“She has wanted to get rid of me since the moment she heard you were getting married,” she explained. “She had a plan to frighten me away at first, and when that did not work, she decided to make me hate you instead. I do not know what she will do, now that it has not worked either.”
“So, all this time… How did those ladies know?”
“She came here one evening and over-indulged. Nobody ever said a word, for they knew she was grieving the loss of her husband, but the three of them knew. She said she was furious that I would be replacing her, and that she would get rid of me quickly.”
“So she stopped letting people care for her.”
Adelaide nodded.
Cassian thought back to how his mother had changed when she heard that he was going to marry. He had expected fury, but it never came. She had not been pleased by any stretch of the imagination, but he had assumed that it was out of fear for Adelaide.
He had not expected her to form a plan to get rid of her. He thought about the unkempt appearance she had insisted on, and how she had led Adelaide to believe that she trusted her. It was insidious, and he shuddered at the thought of it.
“I do not know how I will face her,” Adelaide whispered. “I want to believe that she was doing it for my sake, but knowing how she treated you, I cannot do it. I do not think I can hide how I feel about all of this, Cassian.”
“Then it is just as well that you do not have to, for I have had her sent away.”
Her eyes widened. “But—”
“I asked her where you were, and she lied to me. I gave her one last chance, and she lied again. I will spare you from her accusation, but it was vile, and I will not have you put at the same risk I was at for so long. You are my wife, and you will never be treated with anything other than utmost respect.”
Adelaide nodded slowly, leaning against him.
For the first time, Cassian felt as though he had done right and protected someone.
He knew that they would have to wait a short while before his mother was gone, but when they returned, it would be to a quiet house.
There would be no more lies and no more secrets, and they could try to have a real marriage.
It was what Adelaide deserved, after all.
“I will only send her away if that is what you want, of course,” he murmured into her hair. “You are not as cutthroat as I am, and if you wish to give her one last chance—”
“How many have you given her?” she interrupted. “No, this is what she wants. I excused her behavior because I thought she needed us, but it has all been a scheme this entire time. She is capable of being alone, so she can enjoy it. We have an estate in Northumberland, yes?”
“We do, indeed.”
“Then she may reside there. That way, she can be far away from her cruel son and his useless wife. She will be happier that way.”
Cassian was stunned by her words, for he had never thought that she could think that way of a person, but he understood. It had been a long time coming, and he was relieved that it was all over.
At least, it would have been if they had waited long enough.
Unfortunately, for all her talk of propriety, his mother did not want to leave with grace. They returned to the house to find her being dragged out by two footmen. When they saw Cassian, they immediately released her, as though not wanting to be seen handling her harshly.
She ran into Adelaide’s arms, weeping loudly.
“Oh, Adelaide, thank goodness you are home!” she cried. “I told you that my son was a cruel man, but upon hearing that I had not stopped you from enjoying your evening, he became brutal. He is sending me to the poor house!”
“Oh, Mama, he is not,” Adelaide said gently.
His mother turned to him with a look of triumph, but Cassian knew better than to question his wife.
“You see,” Adelaide continued, “we are not cruel. We would never send you away penniless. Instead, we are going to send you north, where you can have all the peace you have wanted for so long.”
“But I—what do you mean?”
“Well, you cannot stand your son, and you want no part in his marriage, and you want to get rid of his wife. That is what you said, is it not?”
But she did not wait for a response.
“And so, as an act of kindness, we have agreed to give you precisely what you want. There is no need to fight it, for it is not cruel at all. Perhaps you might consider it a gift: your own estate to run, with nobody there to ruin it for you.”
Cassian wondered just where his wife had gotten that tone from. He had never heard her speak that way to anyone, even at her angriest, but then he had never seen her so calm and composed either.
“I trusted you,” his mother whispered. “I thought that—yes, all right, I wanted to get rid of you. I did not want my son to put someone else at risk, so I thought it would be easier if you were not here at all. But then I grew to like you.”
“So much so that you would accuse me of something unspeakable.”
She did not have to know what it was.
His mother hung her head. Defeated, she followed the servants out to the carriage without a word.
When the carriage disappeared from view, Cassian felt a knot loosen in his chest. It shifted from happiness to fear and back again, for he had a feeling that it was not the end, but at least she was gone now.
Adelaide watched the drive long after, her eyes sad.
“Adelaide, if I may—”
“Not tonight,” she whispered. “Not after everything. My friends will arrive soon, and I would like us to enjoy our time. We can discuss all of this later.”
He knew better than to argue with that.