16. Arenwen
16
ARENWEN
I kneel in the small courtyard, morning dew soaking through my dress. The stone beneath my knees holds the lingering chill of night. My hands press together, fingers interlaced as I try to focus on my daily prayers. The words that usually flow so naturally catch in my throat.
A breeze rustles the leaves overhead. My thoughts drift to Kai's hands - strong, calloused from wielding weapons, yet so deliberate in their touch. I shake my head, attempting to clear the distraction.
"God of light, grant me clarity..." But clarity eludes me.
Instead, I recall the intensity in those violet eyes when they lock onto mine, the way they glow with otherworldly power. The memory sends a shiver down my spine that has nothing to do with the morning air.
These prayers have always been my lifeline. They should center me, ground me in my faith.
Instead, my mind rebels, replaying moments I should not dwell on - the press of Kai's fingers against my throat, firm enough to remind me of my place but never cruel. The brush of his wings, ash-gray feathers soft despite their battle-scarred edges.
The bruises on my body from the way he uses me for pleasure and pain - something that I enjoy far more than I should. Even now, I feel the phantom touch of his lips on my skin, marking me as his in ways that go beyond mere possession.
The prayers slip away like water through cupped hands. I open my eyes, staring at the weathered stones of the courtyard. My breath comes quick and shallow. This is wrong. I should focus on my devotions, on maintaining my connection to the divine that has sustained me through my captivity.
But Kai has become an ever-present shadow in my mind, impossible to banish. His commanding presence follows me even here, in what should be my private communion with the gods. I touch my throat where his hand so often rests, feeling my pulse race beneath my fingertips.
The morning sun climbs higher, warming my skin, but I remain lost in thoughts of violet eyes and ash-gray wings.
Movement catches my eye as I finally rise from my prayers. In the training yard beyond the courtyard's stone wall, Kai flows through combat forms. His wings stretch wide, catching the morning light on battle-scarred feathers. Each precise strike of his practice blade cuts the air with deadly purpose.
My feet carry me closer without conscious thought. I press against the wall, transfixed by the lethal dance before me. Sweat gleams on his bare chest, highlighting old scars that map the history of countless battles. His long black hair, usually bound back, has come partially loose to whip around his face as he spins.
The air crackles with magic. Violet light trails from his blade, leaving ghostly afterimages that linger in my vision. His eyes glow with that same otherworldly power, focused on invisible opponents as he dispatches them one by one. Each movement flows into the next - a thrust becomes a parry becomes a killing strike.
My breath catches as he launches himself skyward. His wings snap out, sixteen feet of raw power, lifting him effortlessly. He dives, blade leading, to strike the training dummy below. The impact splinters wood, sending fragments scattering across the yard.
This is how he fights. How he commands and controls. This terrible beauty, this perfect marriage of grace and destruction. I should hate him for it. Instead, I find myself drawn forward another step, unable to look away as he lands in a crouch, magic still sparking around him.
His muscles bunch and flex as he straightens, rolling his shoulders in a way that makes his wings ripple. The predatory grace in every movement reminds me that for all his civilized veneer, he is a warrior first. A conqueror. Someone who took my world apart with these same deadly efficient movements.
Power radiates from him like heat from a forge. Even across the yard, I feel it prickling against my skin. This is what my ancestor's people faced - this devastating combination of strength and skill and magic. No wonder they fell.
He sees me, and to my surprise, he stops what he's doing. I expect him to prowl to me, to bark an order or intimidate me. Instead, he closes the distance but doesn't touch me.
"I am going into the city." He says it so measuredly that I almost think he's nervous. "Would you like to join me?"
I try to suppress my grin. But it is rare that Kai extends an invitation like this. I know he wants me. And I find myself craving him. But moments like these…
I feel a little giddy at the offering.
I nod. "I'd love to."
Kai's hand settles on the small of my back, guiding me away from the townhouse and through New Solas' gleaming streets. Golden spires pierce the clouds overhead, their surfaces catching sunlight like captured stars. My steps falter as I take in the sheer scale of it all.
"Keep close, little flame." His wings curl forward, creating a protective canopy that shields me from the curious stares of passing xaphan.
A group of warriors pause their conversation to watch us pass. Their wings - mottled grays and browns - mark them as common soldiers. One leans toward another, whispering behind his hand. Kai's grip tightens on my waist. A low growl rumbles in his chest.
"See something interesting?" His voice carries an edge sharp enough to draw blood. The soldiers snap to attention, wings tucking tight against their backs as they hurry away.
My pulse quickens at this display of dominance. I should shrink from such possessiveness, but heat blooms in my chest instead.
"The architecture here..." I trail off as we pass beneath an arch carved with intricate battle scenes. The stone figures seem to move in the shifting light.
"Built by the first settlers." Kai's thumb traces circles on my back. "Each carving tells a story of our victories."
A merchant's cart rolls past, pulled by creatures with scaled hides and too many legs. The smell of unfamiliar spices fills the air. Everything here feels alien yet fascinating - like Kai himself.
"Look there." He points to a fountain where water flows upward in defiance of nature, forming shapes that dance and twist. "Magic woven into every stone."
Two noble xaphan stride past, their pure white wings marking their status. They cast disdainful glances my way. Kai's magic crackles in response, violet light flickering around us. The nobles quicken their pace, and he tugs me closer. I find myself leaning into his touch, drawing closer to this dangerous creature who claims me so completely.
The street opens into a plaza where more fountains play their impossible games with water and light. Kai's wings shift, adjusting to keep me sheltered within their span as we walk. His power wraps around me like a cloak, marking me as untouchable to all but him.
A gleaming temple rises before us, its golden spires piercing the heavens like divine spears. The sight steals my breath - not just for its grandeur, but for how it reminds me of the only time Kai has ever taken me.
A moment that I think of over and over.
"It's beautiful," I whisper. "Like when we..."
Before I can finish, Kai spins me around. My back hits rough bark as he pins me against a massive tree, hidden from the main street. His hand finds my throat, familiar pressure making my pulse jump beneath his fingers.
"Remind me." His violet eyes bore into mine, glowing with barely contained power. "Pray for me, little flame. Right here."
I don't hesitate. My hands come together, trembling not from fear but anticipation. The prayer falls from my lips in a breathless rush.
"Kai, I offer myself to you." My voice catches as his thumb strokes my racing pulse. "To use. To let out your darkness…"
His wings snap forward, cocooning us in shadow. The ash-gray feathers brush my skin, battle-scarred edges a reminder of his lethal nature.
"More." The command rumbles through his chest. His free hand grips my hip, pulling me closer.
"I am yours." The words pour out, half prayer, half desperate plea. "I am yours to command, yours to..."
A pleased growl cuts off my prayer as Kai's grip tightens. The magic radiating from him makes the air crackle, violet sparks dancing in my peripheral vision. His power wraps around me, marking me as his in ways deeper than mere physical possession.
"Such a devoted little human." His lips brush my ear. "So willing to worship me as her new god."
I arch into his touch, lost in the heady mix of submission and desire as he brings his lips to my neck, across my collarbone. Never my lips, but I'll take it all the same. I'm close to begging him to touch me again, but I know better than to push him. He won't take orders from me - and I like being forced to wait, to serve him.
This is wrong - everything I was taught says this is wrong. But in this moment, trapped between his body and the tree, I can't bring myself to care.