Chapter 7
Hawke
She’s lying. Something is wrong. What have I missed? Is she hurting? Or just afraid? Did the truth of my past make her wary of me?
I gave her the sanitized version. The reality of my youth was more violent and desperate than I’d ever share with her. I survived and the skills I learned on the streets and in the alleys, kept my men safe in battle.
She needs to know I won’t let anything happen to her again. I’ve set a few of my personal style of traps in the woods in case someone gets too close, then sent the coordinates to the office for the safety of our back-up.
Allen Riven has used up all his chances. I warned him to stay away. He made his choice. When this is over, she won’t have to look over her shoulder again.
And she won’t need me anymore. But I’ll keep an eye on her. I’ll still be close if she needs me.
I wish... I wish I was a better man. A man who deserved her. A younger man. Our almost fifteen-year age difference may not seem like much now, but it will in another fifteen.
She comes out of the bathroom wearing an oversize T-shirt and men’s boxers, carrying a hairbrush.
Standing I move the foot stool closer to the fire. “Sit here and I’ll help brush out your hair.”
“You don’t—”
“It’s not a problem. With your shoulder you shouldn’t be doing it anyway. How the hell did you even wash it?”
She grimaces. “I’m not sure how clean it is, but it smells better.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Next time we’ll find a way for me to help.”
Kneeling beside her, I stroke the brush through her long black hair. Thick and rich, soft like satin sliding between my fingers and over my palms. The sweet scent of honeysuckle wafts in the air teasing my senses and stirring every fantasy I’ve had of her over the years.
I want her. Laid out on the bed while I worship every inch of her with my hands and my lips, making her come multiple times on my tongue.
I want her chest on the bed, ass in the air propped on pillows, legs spread, my hand knotted in her hair. My other hand cups her hip as she begs for more and harder. I’d pound into her sweet pussy from behind giving us both what we crave, what we need and together we’d come.
And as soon as she’s rested, she’d climb astride me and ride me again. Both of us insatiable for each other.
Fantasies.
Unattainable fantasies that may not even be possible with her injuries.
“Thank you, Hawke. I think it’s completely dry now.” I was lost in my fantasies, her voice snaps me back to reality.
Handing her the brush, I turn away and cross behind the couch until I can get my erection under control.
I don’t want her to know my secret fantasies.
My longing. I won’t risk losing her due to my desires.
At least as friends she’s in my life. “Anything else you need me to do before I take my shower?”
She smiles. “Thank you. I couldn’t have done that on my own. I’m going to make myself an herbal tea and read in bed while I drink it. Can I make you one too?”
“Sure.” After checking the security monitors, I grab a clean T-shirt and lounge pants and head to a cold shower and a hand job... or two.
She’s still reading when I come out.
Checking the monitors one last time, I grab an old favorite from the bookshelf before crossing to the opposite side of the bed. The beds a king, we’ll be fine. Laying on top of the covers, I plug my phone in before glancing her way. “Is yours charging?”
“Yes, sir.”
I give her a scowl and a wink. It’s another twenty minutes before she shuts off her light and snuggles into the pillow.
“Good night, Hawke. Thank you.”
She’s out almost immediately. I’m glad she’s so relaxed around me. I’ve spent years perfecting the big brother image. Shifting to my side, I get a whiff of her shampoo and am instantly hard. Down boy. Big brother friend zone.
Hours later I wake, spooned against a warm sweet-smelling body. Her back is perfectly aligned to my front. Head resting on my bicep, back to my chest, butt pressed against the cradle of my hips, our legs entangled.
Is this a dream? Fuck, have I died and gone to heaven? That’s exactly how it feels having her in my arms. Like an angel sent from heaven.
I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life. And still not get enough of her.
What am I doing? I tense.
“Please, don’t move. Hold me a little longer. I... I’ve wanted this for so long, Hawke. Just a little while longer,” she mumbles.
“Laney?”
“No, let me talk. I’m gonna get this out while my back is to you. I’ve been in love with you for.... well, forever. I know you don’t feel like that about me. I’m just a kid to you. Another responsibility.
“Having you hold me most of the night, the man I love, has been a dream come true. Feeling safe and secure in your arms has been the best night of my whole life. I don’t want to wake to... to drama. I just want to savor this and store the memory for the rest of my life.
“I don’t want to see the self-censure or distaste in your eyes. Give me five more minutes then I’ll climb out of bed, go to the bathroom and we can pretend it was just a dream.”
“What if I don’t want to let you go?”