Chapter Ten
–Tavish–
THERE WERE NO words to describe the intense emotions overwhelming me as I followed Ellie from one of the MacLeod gardens down to an all too familiar cottage on a cliff overlooking the sea.
She seemed to know the way, just like she knew where the gardens were while humming a song only Elowyn knew.
More curious still, she hummed as she picked herbs for a poultice Elowyn had used over the years on my various injuries.
I didn’t miss the tears in Ellie's eyes as she took everything in, including the cottage that had once belonged to Elowyn, but was now mine, so in some small way, I could remain close to her. Nor did I miss how familiar she was with everything inside the cottage.
While it was impossible to believe, the longer I watched, the more I saw Elowyn in her. And I was well aware of who Malcolm Sutherland was and his link to all Ellie’s sisters, so the more I watched her, the more her claim of being my lost love began to ring true.
Whether her claim was valid or not, there was no ignoring my ceaseless attraction to her.
How could I when it seemed to swell inside me like a building wave, only drawing me toward a warm, welcoming, familiar shore.
And when she tended my wound and I felt her delicate, caring touch against my bare flesh, whatever this was between us only grew stronger and made me want her more.
Even so, and despite yet another untimely arousal, I was determined to get to the truth.
To figure out if everything she told me about the Hereafter and the two of us sharing dreams across time could possibly be legitimate.
If true, it was a long, hard truth to come to grips with.
So, I asked her something I had always wondered about to see what she would say.
Something Ellie could not have gleaned through her connection to my brethren via her sisters, so I caught her delicate wrist before she stepped away.
“So what do you make of my tattoos?” I repeated when she hesitated to answer, remembering the night we sat by a small fire outside, chatting as we often did, and Elowyn used a stick to draw the designs in the dirt, claiming they were special to her.
I slowly released her wrist despite how much I wanted to keep touching her.
“They were your designs and meant a great deal to you, but you never said why.”
“Nevertheless, you had them tattooed on you after I passed, so you might keep something that meant so much to me with you always,” Ellie said softly, gazing out the door at the firepit.
Clearly fighting her emotions, she swallowed hard and traced the tattoo on my arm with her finger. Like before in the garden, she suddenly seemed like she was somewhere else entirely.
Not only that, but once again, she spoke with an accent, and there was no denying it was from this era.
“’Tis a map of the route I took through the woodland to find ye those special mushrooms that eve.
” She ran her finger along the intricate swirls as if, once again, drawing them, tracing the lines of my tattoo over my shoulder and down to the one over my heart, her eyes fixed and somewhere else.
“Around trees and past various plants and wildflowers to the verra location ye first shifted, and I saw the true heart of ye.”
Her gaze rose to mine, and her dragon eyes flared, reaching out to me in a way that made it difficult to breathe.
“’Twas always a map, my love, lest yer wee dragon lose his way.
He could go back to his heart and find his way home from there.
” For a split second, as she cupped my cheek, I swore Elowyn gazed back at me with the same tender, whimsical smile she’d worn that night all those years ago.
“So I might protect ye as ye protected me from that boar.”
Ensnared by the look she wore, the sound of her voice, and the gentle way she caressed my cheek, all I could do was gaze into her eyes. My heart pounded into my throat because this all felt so real, yet a blink later, she was gone.
Literally.
Just like when she mysteriously vanished from beside the fire the night before, only to end up sleeping toward the back of the cave.
Startled, I leapt to my feet only for my mother to appear at the door to the cottage.
“All is well, son,” she assured, gesturing at a basin of steaming water nearby that hadn’t been there moments before. “Ellie left that for ye so ye might bathe and cleanse the herbs from yer wound before joining us for dinner.”
“But she just applied her poultice,” I exclaimed, more and more confused. “’Twill take a few days to heal at the verra least.” I frowned at her. “Where is she?” I shook my head. “I dinnae ken when it comes to that lass.”
“And ‘tis understandable as she’s no average lass.” Mother gestured for me to join her outside. “Come and have a wee dram with me before ye bathe so ye might clear yer head.”
“I told ye I cannae bathe yet because—”
“Come,” she insisted, so I did, joining her on the ledge overlooking the sea, taking in the breathtaking sunset splashing brilliant shades of pink across the horizon.
I wrapped a fur around her shoulders despite how well she generally weathered these colder months.
She was getting older, and I worried about her.
“Ye’re a good son,” she said softly, smiling at me before her gaze returned to the sea, and she grew sad.
“So whilst all this makes me so verra happy, I fear there is renewed grief in my heart yet again. For ye, and yer kin.” She shook her head, surprising me when she blinked back tears. “For all of us.”
Not liking the sinking sensation I felt the longer I was in my mother’s presence, I hardened my emotions against the truth in her eyes and shook my head. “Surely, ye dinnae believe Ellie is who she says she is. Surely ‘tis impossible.”
She best not be, given she wore the gem over her dragon’s heart.
“Yet even as ye voice it ye feel it,” she murmured.
Her eyes turned my way, and she pressed her hand over my heart.
“Ye feel it deep inside because, however difficult to believe, ‘tis the truth and a burden she has long carried. Not just into the Hereafter but her whole life because she is stronger than most, just as ye have had to be without her.”
I kept shaking my head because, despite all the proof I’d seen with my own two eyes and, yes, felt in my heart, it was still so difficult to grasp. To look at Ellie’s face and see anyone else. To imagine for even a moment that her face might have once been Elowyn’s.
“I dinnae know what to do,” I managed. “How to handle this. My emotions are too conflicting...too volatile and far too raw.”
“And what of yer inner beast’s emotions?” my mother wondered, tilting her head in question. “How is he reacting around her because Elowyn was as precious to him as she was to yer human half, whether she was half dragon or not.”
“He wants her,” I admitted, because I had figured that much out. “More than he’s ever wanted any lass.”
“No doubt he does,” she said, handing me a mug of whisky she’d set nearby, knowing I would need it. “Yet ye ken she’s the lass from the pact, right? She is the descendant of the Sutherland sorcerer?”
“How can ye be sure?” I frowned, refusing to believe things were that cut in stone. “Did Willow’s dragon not wear half a gem? Is she herself not descended from a powerful Scottish witch? One, as it turned out, was from this era?”
“Aye,” my mother confirmed, urging me to drink.
“Yet Ellie swears she is the lass destined to fulfill the pact and always was, and I believe her, son. Adlin believes her. Even Grant Hamilton believes her.” She shook her head.
“And that is too many of us wielding great power for this to be anything but a certainty.”
I narrowed my eyes. “So ye’ve seen Grant Hamilton, too?”
“Aye, he’s about and intends to help any way he can from the Hereafter.”
“Right, that,” I said on a sigh, relieved he was part of all this but not liking the topic in general. “The Hereafter. A place I cannae say I much like.”
“Well, why would ye?” she wondered, sipping her whisky. “It took a lot from ye but—” she met my eyes again— “it also gave a lot back and mayhap ye should try to forgive it...forgive her...then forgive yerself.”
“Forgiving the Hereafter or myself willnae be easy,” I said gruffly. “But there’s nothing to forgive her for.”
“Isn’t there?” she said gently, looking at me in that wise motherly way only she could.
“Ye may not realize it, but deep down ye were angry at her for wandering into the forest that day without enough protection. And ye were angry at yerself for not being there to protect her. Now here she is, back to protect ye and yers, the two of ye forever stuck in this loop.”
I clenched my teeth, refusing to give in to my emotions. They were right there, hovering beneath the surface just like my inner beast, because we both felt the truth in her words. The pure agony in them.
“So what now?” I said, my voice still gruff because I had no idea what came next. What I was supposed to do. How I should feel. I had never felt so lost and confused yet desperate for another despite having only, to the best of my recollection, just met Ellie.
“Ye bathe and dress for a fine meal with yer kin, their mates and Ellie,” she counseled softly, her voice gentle in a way that soothed my raw nerves.
“Then, as Ellie requested, we will retire to the War Chamber where she will share everything she knows, but no sooner, as she wants a normal night with her sisters and her MacLeods, as she phrased it.” She pressed her hand against my heart again, her eyes never leaving mine.
“And a normal night with ye, as it has been far too long.”
“Aye, then,” I managed, unsure how normal any of this could ever be. “I will bathe the best I can with my wound.”
“Verra good.” She stood on her tiptoes and embraced me tightly. “I love ye, son.”
“And I ye,” I said, embracing her in return before she left, leaving me standing alone on the cliff, still clueless about how to proceed. All I knew as my gaze dropped to the tattoo Elowyn had so lovingly designed was that I was desperate to see Ellie again. To remain close to her.
And what I discovered soon after made me realize why.