Chapter Eleven
–Ellie–
ALTHOUGH I HAD every intention of leaving MacLeod Castle after I slipped away from Tavish and left the cottage without him being the wiser, I did no such thing.
Instead, I drifted into the castle, blinking back tears, feeling overwhelmingly nostalgic as I took in the great hall full of massive tapestries depicting dragons and stormy seas.
I was home.
At last.
It seemed like an eternity since I had been here. Although I knew I shouldn’t be because it would make everything that much harder, I was grateful for the opportunity to relish in the safety and contentment I always found here, before I spent the rest of my days at Sutherland Castle.
“This must all be so strange to you,” Broderick said, appearing by my side. He offered me the same warm smile he’d often given me in our youth. “Even so, I cannae tell you how happy I am that you’re here, as whatever fate may bring, this will always be your home, Ellie.”
“Thank you, m’laird.” I met his smile. “It’s good to see you, too, however strange it all seems. And I can’t tell you how happy I am that you and Aspen found each other.”
“Och, m’laird?” he chastised, waving his proper title away. “’Twill always be Broderick to you because you’ve long been kin. Hopefully, soon to be my sister by marriage.”
My chest tightened and my throat thickened with emotion, but I still managed a jerky nod, despite knowing that would never come to be, but wishing it could with all my heart.
“Ah, there you are,” Hazel exclaimed, joining us, as if she didn’t already know I was heading this way thanks to our dragons connecting. In fact, I had already telepathically told Chara I had slipped away from Tavish again, so she should check on him and tell him it was okay to bathe now.
After all, he would soon find his wound completely healed.
Not just that, but he would realize it happened so quickly because we were indeed fated mates, yet barred from each other because of a pact, or better put, a curse.
I had hoped it wouldn’t become so obvious to him, but I realized it was a losing battle the moment I started losing time and merging with the woman I used to be.
Moreover, I knew it the moment I put the poultice on his wound.
His inner beast wouldn’t just heal him more quickly than usual to attract me.
It would heal him within minutes, trying to keep me there with him.
His human half didn’t realize it yet, but he would soon enough, and getting out of that cottage without sleeping with him would have likely become impossible.
And doing that was the last thing either of us needed because I would go in the end, no matter what, and it would only make things more difficult.
I had been determined to leave the castle right then and there. Yet my inner beast and perhaps even a dash of the Hereafter and my former life made it impossible, and I had no choice but to go inside. No choice but to stay with the MacLeods a little while longer.
Now the damage was done, I was determined to make the best of the evening, and told Broderick aloud and Chara telepathically what I was hoping for. Just a few hours of normalcy before I shared everything I knew. Naturally, everyone else got the message via our dragons.
“Of course, lass,” Broderick assured. “I look forward to dining with you and my brother this eve.”
“All of us do.” Hazel slipped her arm into mine and smiled. “So why don’t we head upstairs and get you ready? Aspen and Willow have a chamber prepared for you.”
I met her smile, looking forward to it. We might have just bought a house together in New Hampshire, but we hadn’t been there at the same time. Before that, we rarely spent much time together, despite living in the same town. “Sounds good.”
It was hard to describe the sense of peace I felt walking upstairs and down familiar hallways lined with furnishings carved with dragon faces or wings.
I vividly recalled how awed I was by them in my previous life.
All of it, from the tapestries to the furniture.
I had stared at them endlessly, wishing I were a dragon too, so I could be with my one true love.
“And now you are,” Hazel said softly, catching my thoughts. “If that doesn’t sound like something out of a fairytale, I don’t know what does.”
I didn’t respond because, although I was now half-dragon, I couldn't be with my one true love. Rather than dwell on that right now and the misery it invoked, I managed a small smile for Hazel and remained focused on everything around me. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised they had given me a chamber toward the top of the castle, right beside Tavish’s, where the view of the ocean was particularly stunning.
Nor was I surprised to find snacks and beverages undoubtedly prepared by Hazel, along with a basin of steamy water for bathing.
“You’ve always taken such good care of us, Ellie,” Aspen said, grinning as we entered, “so we figured we’d take care of you this time.”
Fortunately, they abided by my wishes, and nobody asked what I knew, especially about our father, and I made sure they didn’t catch it in my thoughts.
Instead, they spent the time pampering me, each one talking about their own experiences reuniting with their MacLeod.
I might have known the general direction they were heading when they traveled back in time, but it was nice hearing them tell their own unique stories.
More than that, I liked seeing the love in their eyes when they talked about their mates, knowing it was genuine because I had experienced it firsthand.
I wasn’t surprised to discover Chara had provided a lovely linen dress with subtle shades of pink, yet I knew I couldn’t wear it.
“No.” I bit back emotion and shook my head. “If possible, I’ll need another color.”
“Are you sure?” Willow frowned from the dress back to me. “I know you’ve never really been into pink, but it was the color dress our father requested you wear to his funeral, and it looks great on you, so—”
“No,” I said more firmly. “Not that color.”
Not when it had been the color of the wedding dress I had made for my marriage to Tavish in our last life, and Chara knew it.
Tavish loved me in pink, so I had done my best to avoid it in this life, because it only brought back memories of a day we never had.
The life we never experienced. The children that were never ours.
“Understood,” Aspen said softly, seeming to understand this was a difficult subject.
I sensed, as she looked at me with concern before rummaging around in the trunk for another dress, that she understood I couldn’t risk wearing that color again because it might trigger too many memories.
Memories that would only make it more difficult for Tavish to let me go in the end.
I already knew it wouldn’t be easy, but if I could have any control over how this all played out, even something as simple as the color of my dress, I would. So I was grateful when Aspen handed me a lovely, crème-colored dress that suited me just as well.
“And of course, this,” Hazel said, holding the black and red MacLeod plaid.
“I don’t know,” I whispered, because my voice seemed to falter as I stared at it, remembering how I’d once worn the MacLeod colors with such pride. Such love. “That might not be such a good idea, either.”
“Yet that choice is out of your hands,” Aspen said, taking the plaid from Hazel and beginning to fashion it over my dress.
She met my eyes. “You might be my big sis, but I’m Queen of the Castle now, and I’ll see my sisters wearing their rightful colors.
” She wiped away a tear I didn’t realize had fallen. “Your rightful colors.”
I could only manage a small, thankful nod, but she seemed to understand I was grateful even if I should not be.
“You look so beautiful, Ellie,” Hazel marveled after they finished helping me get ready for dinner. She admired my unbound hair. “I don’t remember the last time I saw your hair down like that.”
“It’s been years,” I conceded, because typically I preferred my hair braided back, just as I had in my previous life.
“It’s understandable you kept your hair back, given all the potions you're always preparing,” Willow said, seeming to sense I was reflecting on something that could swiftly overwhelm me.
She looked at the three of us. “So, is everyone ready to go enjoy a fabulous dinner?” She winked at Hazel. “The food is amazing here.”
“No doubt it is,” I said, grinning at Hazel because I knew she had swooped in and was cooking up a storm, whether the kitchen staff thought someone in her position should or not. Hazel lived to make people happy via their culinary desires.
Even though I was tempted to roam the castle on my own and reminisce, we were told dinner would be served soon in the family’s private dining chamber, so I headed downstairs with my sisters.
When we entered, I bit back more tears because memories flooded me once again of just how often I had eaten here.
And just like it had been in my last life, Tavish trailed off, stopped chatting with his kin, and looked my way as if he couldn’t help himself.
It didn’t matter that I no longer looked like Elowyn because he was looking at me in this life. Desiring me in this life. And it took me aback at how different it felt. Separated. While I liked it a great deal, it alarmed me because it spoke to our dreams.
Spoke to a newfound connection I feared was stronger than the last.
Stronger because I was half dragon this time, just like him.
“Yet it doesnae quite work like that,” Adlin said into my mind, seeming to enjoy himself as he sipped his whisky, without a doubt because he was back in his beloved homeland.
“The first modern-day women who traveled back and fell in love with my MacLomain’s half dragon Viking ancestors, possessed no dragon blood, and the love they found with their mates was profound and lasting. ”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that, except it seemed to suggest everything was happening for a reason.
Of Fate, finding a way to make me a part of something that would bring me back to my love, however brief it may be.
Despite how wrong it was, all things considered, there was no stopping the way my breath caught at the sight of Tavish looking so handsome in his MacLeod tartan.
No matter how hard I tried to look away, our gazes lingered on each other, and just as it had always been, everything else seemed to fade away. I was utterly helpless to free myself from the spell he seemed to cast over me, and truth be told, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
Nonetheless, I would soon have no choice.
Nor would he if he loved his king, country, and kin as much as I knew he did. Yet as the night wore on, I realized things would only get more complicated. So complicated, in fact, I feared for the fate of not just everyone I loved, but Scotland itself, and I had every right to do so.