Chapter Thirty- One #2
In true Joseph form, he puts a hand on his hip and juts it out.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover, young lady!
Yes, I may be her ex, but just because she’s living here and I have my arm around her doesn’t mean she’s fucking moved on.
All she ever thinks about is that prick, and I’ve had to help put the pieces that arsehole broke back together with the help of my boyfriend, Danny.
So, no, no, no… don’t you people come in here all high and mighty, accusing Dee of moving on when she’s never gone in any direction other than the past. She’s stuck on Colt and doesn’t need you waltzing in here trying to make her feel bad when he was the one who fucked up. Not once, but bloody twice.”
Anna’s mouth drops open. Then, a small smile crosses her face. “Holy shit, your ex is gay?” she asks and laughs.
Johnny shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
“I’m standing right here, woman. What the hell! I’m gay is the only takeaway from that little speech you picked up on,” Joseph berates.
Anna waves her hands at him like she doesn’t care, then she lunges forward and grabs me from Joseph, hugging me in the tightest of hugs.
“Sorry, I doubted you, Dee. I was angry when I thought you were back with Joseph.” She’s talking so quickly I can barely keep up.
“You should see Colt. He’s been a mess ever since you left, and now he’s even worse since he hasn’t been able to contact you—”
“Okay, stop right there,” I reply forcefully.
Anna lets go and looks at me, confused. “He may be in a mess, but that’s entirely his fault.
He was too busy to call me that night, or he just didn’t want to, or whatever, and he was the one who hurt me.
I don’t need to feel guilty for that,” I say, defensively crossing my arms over my chest.
“No, no… that’s not what I meant, Dee. And it’s not that he didn’t want to call you. Talking to you was the only thing keeping him sane—”
“Then… tell me… why the hell didn’t he call me, Anna? I was going to talk to him. I’d built up enough strength to speak, and he didn’t care enough about me to even call,” I say as the memory of his betrayal and hurt floods back, and I close my eyes, the pain of remembering unbearable.
Anna shakes her head, gripping my shoulders at arm’s length. “Dee, no, that’s not what happened. Colt told Hux he was talking to you every day, which is why he was staying in his suite. Hux thought it was unhealthy and that Colt needed to move on.
“So in Monaco, we all went to this pub-club place. Hux stole Colt’s phone without him knowing. When Colt started frantically searching for it, because it was time to call you, Hux kept out of sight. Colt even tried calling his number from Johnny’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail.
“Hux was so off his face he admitted later that he’d taken the phone, turned it off, and tossed it into the street.
Colt was furious. He ran outside. Hux followed, yelling at him to let you go, that you weren’t worth it.
Colt made it out just in time to see a truck run over his phone. It was destroyed, and so was Colt.
“They ended up fighting out the front of the pub, and of course, the paparazzi were there to capture every second.”
Makes sense now.
Those are the pictures I saw on Google Alerts.
“Colt nearly beat Hux senseless. It’s only thanks to Johnny and Dingo that they pulled him off in time.
Colt was devastated and knew he was late calling you.
He was a wreck. Kept blabbering on about how hurt you’d be and that you were finally going to talk to him.
He was distraught. I gave him my phone to call you, but it just kept repeating, ‘Call cannot be connected.’ He wanted to get on a plane, but we stopped him, me included. ”
I raise my brows in surprise.
“It’s not that I didn’t want him to. It’s just that I felt you might have needed time to get over the fact that he didn’t call.
Plus, he had a major press interview the next morning…
” She sighs. “Now, with hindsight, I wish I’d let him come to you.
Then maybe he wouldn’t be beyond help right now,” she says with a sniff, and Johnny holds her close as he shakes his head slightly.
“He still tries to call every single day. Even though he’s completely out of it, he still calls, and his heart breaks every time it repeats, ‘Call cannot be connected.’ I figured maybe you blocked his number, but then when I rang, it was the same.
So, that was when I realized you must have changed your number,” Anna explains, biting her bottom lip.
“I did change my number, but that was only recently. When Colt didn’t call, I was angry and upset and, well, I went a bit crazy, throwing my cell at the wall and smashing it.”
“Yeah, she nearly took my head off in the process.” Joseph chuckles as he looks down at me lovingly.
“Okay, you guys should come in if Dee wants that.” He looks at me, and I nod. “We can sit down, you can catch up, and I’ll make us a pot of tea.”
We step back so Anna and Johnny can step inside and head to the dining table. Anna sits beside me while Johnny sits opposite.
Anna wraps her arm around my shoulders. “God, I’ve missed you. These last months have been a shocker without you. The band’s falling apart. Hux and Colt are fighting nonstop. Dingo and Sia keep to themselves, and Johnny and I try to keep everything together. Unsuccessfully, I might add.”
I look at her in confusion. “What do you mean by unsuccessfully?”
She frowns. Johnny’s face is one of devastation. I get a sinking feeling in my gut that I won’t like what they say next as I watch the somber pair.
“The band is breaking up after the tour ends next week,” she relays.
“What? Why?” I spit out, looking at Johnny intently.
“Colt…” He shakes his head. “He’s not right.
This last week, he’s gone completely off the rails.
He’s high as a kite all the time, and he spends all of his time alone.
He doesn’t want anything to do with the band.
Dingo and I don’t think the band should go on without its lead singer.
And Hux, well, he’s in a world all of his own, so no idea there.
Their mum would be devastated if she knew.
” He sighs. “There’s nothing we can do. We’ve tried everything.
Colt doesn’t want to be here anymore. It’s so bad that I’ve had to spend a couple of nights with him to watch that he doesn’t do anything damn stupid,” Johnny says.
My breathing stops suddenly.
A world without Colt is like a world with no air.
Resting my elbows on the table, I force my head into my hands. My breathing starts again, and this time, it’s rushed and shallow. Anna rubs my back in a comforting way while I endeavor to comprehend what Johnny’s just said. A small sob escapes me.
“Dee, he’s unraveling without you. You think what you saw that night broke you?
It destroyed him. He knows he made the worst mistake of his life, and he’s been drowning in it ever since.
He gave in to temptation, but he never slept with her.
Not then, not ever. He hasn’t touched anyone since you walked into his life.
He won’t. Because there’s only you, and it’s killing him to be without you.
He’s a wreck… barely eating, barely sleeping, spiraling.
I’m scared, Dee. Really scared. He thinks you and Joseph are living some perfect little life together, that you never even think about him anymore.
And if he truly believes that, I don’t know what he’ll do.
He’s reckless, Dee. And I can’t watch him destroy himself when you’re the only one who can pull him back. ”
“That’s not true,” I cut in, my voice cracking.
“I think about him all the damn time. I never stop thinking about him. For fuck’s sake, I set up Google Alerts to keep track of him.
It’s torture, but I can’t not look. I just…
I need to see him. Even from a distance…
” My breath hitches as I fight back sobs.
Johnny exhales sharply, his hands trembling.
“Dee, if there’s even a shred of love left in you, you have to fight.
Because he won’t. He’s given up. On everything.
And I know this is asking a lot, but we need you to come back.
We need you to remind him how to live. Without you, he hasn’t got long.
And I’m scared. S-so fucking scared.” His voice cracks.
“He’s my best friend, Dee. I’ve known him since we were kids.
And you? You are the only one who can save him from himself. ”
I shake my head, my stomach twisting. “I can’t. I’m not strong enough.”
Johnny’s face hardens, his breath shaky.
“Then let me be blunt.” He leans closer across the table, his voice dropping, laced with raw agony.
“If you don’t, he’s going to die. Do you get that?
He will be dead! And no Google Alert, no tab-keeping, no late-night scrolling will change that.
You won’t be able to check in on him, Dee, because he won’t be h…
here.” He chokes on the last word, and that’s when I see it, the tears slipping down his face. Johnny never cries.
And fuck. If he’s breaking, then Colt really must be on the edge.
The realization slams into me, nausea clawing up my throat.
I think I’m gonna be sick.
I’ve never been so scared in my life.
I can’t lose Colt.
The world can’t lose him, either.
“Please, Dee! I’m b-begging you,” Johnny’s voice cracks, his hands gripping the table like it’s the only thing holding him together.
He scrubs at his tears hastily, like wiping them away might erase the pain in his voice.
Then, with a shaky breath, he reaches for Anna’s hand, clinging to it like a lifeline.
“I don’t care how pathetic this makes me.
I’ll get down on my damn knees if I have to.
Just… don’t let him do this to himself.”
Joseph exhales, his jaw tightening as he looks at me.
“Dee, you know I’m not his biggest fan. Hell, if I ever see him, the first thing I’ll do is punch his gorgeous face.
” His eyes soften, but his voice stays firm.
“But… you love him. You never stopped. And from everything I’m hearing, he’s a wreck without you.
” He gives me that familiar, loving smile—the one that always makes me feel safe—and takes my hand.
“This decision? It’s yours. No one else’s.
And if you stay, you can’t let guilt eat you alive.
Because personally? I think the way he’s hurt you is unforgivable.
” His grip tightens for a moment, steady, unwavering.
“But if you go, I’ll back you. No hesitation.
And if you need me there, I’ll be right beside you.
Just… make this choice for you, Dee. Not for him.
Not for anyone else. You.” He presses a kiss to my hand, and dammit, my heart feels like it’s being torn in two.
I swipe away my tears and take in a deep breath.
There really is no option.
There is no choice to be made.
He hurt me.
He nearly killed me.
I was shattered—over and over again.
And yet, I’m still standing.
Still tempted.
Still breathing.
Still his.
When he didn’t call, something in me died.
And if that’s how Colt’s feeling right now, then I have no choice.
I have to fight.
For him.
For me.
For us.
Because if he leaves this earth, then I may as well, too.
I square my shoulders, my voice steady despite the war raging inside me.
“When do we leave?”