Epilogue
Beatrice, it transpired, had an immense fear of blood.
When she left Lady Helena’s room, she was so pale that Owen thought that the worst had happened. Mercifully, the doctor then came out to announce the arrival of a baby boy. With both Lady Helena and the child looked after, Owen went to care for his greatest treasure.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“It was awful,” she gasped. “The screams were so loud, and the– the blood– I hated it.”
“Then we need not have children. I will not make you go through that yourself.”
She looked at him with gratitude, but he could already see her faltering. She wanted children, and she had made that very clear to him.
They remained in the household, with Helena recovering in her room. George did not leave her side, and a day later she was able to stand again. She took the settee in the drawing room, and George ensured she was given everything that she could possibly have wanted.
Owen could see that Helena felt almost smothered, but she was so grateful that she did not say a word about it.
“I am most pleased that all is well,” Beatrice said when they were alone that night. “I have heard some terrible stories. That must have been why I was so frightened.”
“Beatrice, I meant what I said. If you are afraid, we will not have children. I will not allow you to suffer like that if you do not want to.”
“Then the matter is settled, for I do want to. It would be worth it if it meant seeing a child that looked like both you and me. Besides, while it was awful, it passed. Look at them both. Have you ever seen such happiness?”
“Each and every time I look at myself in the mirror. I am already the happiest man in the country.”
“Then we can discuss this later but believe me it is what I want. You need not fear for me.”
But he did. He knew that it was something he had promised not to do as much, but it would take time before he could. He had always been one to worry about every bad thing that could possibly happen, and in spite of the fact that he was a man he had heard awful stories of childbirth of his own.
They remained with Helena and George for a month, for not only did the new parents appreciate the support, but they felt it necessary to spend more time with them after what had happened during their last visit.
“I am pleased to see that you are both happy,” Helena said as she sat holding her son. “I knew that you would find a way through it.”
“And you were right. All that I needed to do was be honest, and once I did that everything fell into place. I wish I had done it long ago.”
“What did we say about that?” Beatrice reminded him.
“I know. We cannot hold regrets.”
“What matters is that we did what we needed to do, and we have learned from it. Now, we can be as happy as we deserve. As can you, Helena.”
“I know. I cannot quite believe it. I never would have thought, when I learned I was with child, that I could have everything I wanted. That is in no small part thanks to you, of course, Owen.”
While true, Owen had never seen it that way. He did not help her to make himself feel good. He had helped her because she needed it, and it was what he felt he had to do.
In such a short time, George had made a name for himself.
He had become a solicitor, and to make him feel better about living there Owen hired him for himself.
It was the best way to go forward. Owen knew that most men would not even accept that as a compromise, but though George was a proud man he knew it was for the best. He had a family to support.
In a way, Owen envied him for that. Though daunting, protecting Beatrice was one of the most fulfilling aspects of his life, and he wanted more. There was already so much love between George and their son, who they had named Johnathon Owen, and he wanted to have that same bond himself.
At the end of the month, Owen and Beatrice left for their honeymoon, and though they had discussed visiting many different countries, Beatrice had won in the end. They would go to Scotland, and stay in the Highlands in a small cottage just as she had wanted.
“It is spectacular,” she said wistfully upon their arrival. “Are we truly to spend two months here?”
“Indeed. You may wish to consider it home for this while.”
“And I most certainly will. I have always liked smaller homes.”
“But ours is enormous.”
“Yes, and I love our manor, but when I see Helena’s home, a part of me wishes that we had one of our own, too. You cannot tell me that this is not the coziest home you have ever seen.”
In an instant, he knew that he would purchase one for her. He would have purchased ten if it made her happy. He had always liked the home that Helena and George had, and though it was not the great imposing feat of architecture that they lived in, he agreed that it had a unique charm of its own.
“So,” she asked as they made their way inside, “what do you have planned for our time here?”
“I thought you might like to visit some markets and see some of the incredible sights here. It would also be nice to try some of the food, and I thought you would find some inspiration in the bakeries.”
Her eyes sparkled at the suggestions, just as he expected. He knew what she enjoyed, and it was easy to plan such things when that was the case. However, there was one more thing that he wished to do, and that was to be a surprise.
He took her the following day. It was a nearby farm, and she was pleased enough to be visiting that. She liked animals; something that surprised him when he learned of it because she had not told him before. They wandered a while, admiring the animals, and then he led her into a small room indoors.
It was warm and filled with soft blankets and cushions. Beatrice seemed unable to notice what was around her, and though it amused him he wanted her to truly enjoy the moment, and so he led her to one corner of the room.
“Look there,” he explained, and at last her eyes fell upon the litter of puppies.
They were getting their milk from their mother, who was lying on her side.
She was a large dog, just as Owen wanted.
He had always dreamed of a mountain dog, one that would proudly protect their home.
It would bring him a great deal of peace to know that there was something of that size guarding them.
“Oh, look at them,” she gasped. “They are so small!”
“For now, but one day they will be rather fearsome.”
“Do not be so ridiculous. Cecilia has one, and he is well-meaning but clumsy. I do not think he would know how to frighten someone if it was explained to him in barks.”
Owen laughed, though he hoped that would not be the case for theirs.
“That one is ours,” he said suddenly, pointing to one with a green ribbon around its neck.
It was asleep as the others ate, which was not the best suggestion that it would one day be terrifying. Beatrice loved that, however, and as tears fell down her cheeks, she took the dog in her arms and gently stroked the top of his head.
“Oh, Owen, is he really?” she asked. “He is gorgeous! I have always wanted one just like him.”
“As have I. Why did you not have one?”
“You have met my father. Could you imagine him ever allowing such a thing?”
“I see. It was the same with my own.”
“Yes, well, we are going to be different. You and I will not treat our children like that.”
There was a certainty in the way she said it, as though they would definitely have children, even though they had not yet decided. It was an expectation placed upon them, but that did not mean that they had to, and it was not as though either of them seemed particularly inclined to do so.
Owen bit his lip. In truth, he very much did want a child, but he would never pressure his wife into it.
He wanted a son and a daughter. A son so that he could raise a good man, and continue his family name, and a daughter so that the world would know a little girl like his wife.
It was daunting, and a lot to ask of his wife knowing her fears, but it was what he wanted.
That was why, partly, he had chosen a dog. It was not the same as a child, but it was similar enough that he could know for certain whether they were prepared for such a responsibility. If they raised their dog with ease, then he would be more comfortable broaching the subject again.
“What shall we name him?” she asked as they took him home. “You may choose, for he is yours.”
“Is he mine? I thought he might be ours, instead.”
“Well, yes, but you chose him.”
“Which is all the more reason why you should decide on the name.”
“Very well,” she accepted, thinking for a moment. “What about Winston?”
He would have preferred a stronger name, something snappier, but he had told his wife to choose, and she had done so and so he kept his thoughts to himself. Winston yawned, seemingly accepting his name, and further proved to Owen that he was not going to be the fearsome beast he expected.
It was his first trial as a potential father; his dog was not the sort that he had imagined, and he would have to accept that no matter what. He would care for him just the same, and nurture his traits as needed.
He turned to Beatrice to tell her of his analogy, but when he looked at her, he noticed that something was amiss. She was not quite at ease, and immediately he wondered if he was at fault for that.
“Do you think it too soon?” he asked. “I apologize. I should have spoken with you before making such a large decision, but I—”
“Do not worry,” she laughed. “This is a beautiful gift, and exactly what I wanted. I am pleased that you have surprised me with it.”
“Then what is wrong? I can see that something is troubling you.”
“It is nothing, I can assure you. I am very happy, Owen.”
He let the matter go, but he knew that there had to be something. His wife was not the sort to look confused, for she always knew what she wanted and she always knew how to get it.
There were no servants at the cottage. Owen had made the decision himself as it meant that they could be alone.
It also gave him the opportunity to practice his skills in the kitchen.
The ton would have been in uproar if they saw it, but that only served to satisfy him more.
They were doing something unheard of, simply because they wanted to.
He made game and vegetables for their first meal, setting Beatrice to watching over Winston as he cooked.
She was not allowed to assist him, and though there were moments when he thought he might have burned the meat or not prepared the vegetables properly, the resulting meal looked perfect, and as he pushed Beatrice’s chair in, he saw that she felt much the same.
“This looks delicious!” she exclaimed.
“Do not expect perfection. I have yet to practice this one.”
“You made it for me. It will be perfect.”
She took a bite and chewed happily. Owen wondered briefly if she was merely playing the part, but when he began eating his own, he realized that it was her genuine reaction. It was good, very good, and it was entirely possible that it would become a new favorite of his.
When they finished, Owen went to clear the plates, but Beatrice stopped him, gesturing for him to sit down again.
“My apologies,” she said quickly. “I know that we ought to go to the sitting room and share a drink, but if I do not tell you this now then I never shall.”
“Beatrice, if this is about your thoughts on children, it is as I told you. We may wait until you are ready.”
“That is just it, Owen. There was a reason why I seemed uncertain in the carriage. I am more than excited to have Winston, but with a small dog and a baby, we are going to have a very busy home soon, and I am trying to think of ways to manage it all.”
The words did not even settle in his mind at first. He was too busy looking at his beautiful wife to properly hear her. Then, he did. A small dog and a baby, as though she were certain that that would be the case.
He stiffened at the realization.
“Beatrice… are you?”
“I believe so,” she smiled. “I have been trying to tell you for weeks that I am ready, and you have been so concerned that I was only saying so to please you, but I think it is too late for you to be so concerned about my trepidation.”
She was laughing, and he practically threw himself out of his seat, pressing a hand to her stomach.
He had not truly thought that she had meant it when she said she had changed her mind, but this was all the proof that he needed.
There was no fear in her, only pure joy.
He would have known if there was anything else, and it simply was not there.
They were to have a child, and they were both deliriously happy about it.
“I cannot believe it,” he gasped. “Oh, Beatrice, you do not understand how happy I am, even if wary of having a dog and a child.”
“You need not be,” she giggled. “I decided while I was playing with Winston before that we have nothing to fear. He and the baby shall be best friends, and he will watch over all of us. It is a beautiful thing, and the best coincidence that we could have had.”
He embraced his wife, her words settling. She was, as always, right. They had nothing to fear anymore, and that was how they would always be.
Unafraid, and so in love it hurt.
The End?