41. Scarlett
Imissed Rhett so much it was a physical ache in my chest. The empty space beside me in bed was a constant reminder of his absence, and I just couldn’t shake this hollow feeling inside me.
I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove the now familiar route to New Bern. Rhett had been gone for over a week now and it was really, really starting to get to me. I’d got into the terrible habit of checking my phone every other minute, just to see if he’d texted. On top of that, it had taken all my willpower not to ask Stef or Esme if they knew how he was doing, or when he’d be back. I’d desperately wanted to talk to them about it, just to get a different perspective, but that didn’t seem fair to them. They were his family now.
Obviously, having a heart to heart with my mother was out of the question.
I’d tried with Cassidy, but even she admitted she was bad at this sort of stuff.
That left…Laura. So here I was, pulling up in front of the modest clapboard house, feeling all sorts of things. I’d never, in my life, had a mother I could turn to for some tea and sympathy, until today.
I squeezed from the car and waddled up the driveway. I guess Laura was watching from the window, because I didn’t even have a chance to ring the doorbell before she was swinging the door wide. “Hi there, honey.”
“Hi.” And there was that warm, soft mom hug I so desperately needed.
Rubbing my back, she pulled back, saying, “Let’s get you inside. The kettle’s already boiled.”
Following her into the cozy living room, I sank into the plush armchair with a sigh. She busied herself in the kitchen for a moment before returning with a tray of tea and cookies.
“There we go, just what the doctor ordered,” she said, setting it down on the coffee table and handing me a cup. “Now, what’s got you so down?”
“Okay, so I think this might sound a bit stupid, but here goes.” I gave her the whole story about Rhett feeling the babies move, then freaking out, then going to South America. “And he didn’t even say goodbye!”
Laura frowned. “That doesn’t sound like Rhett. I’m so sorry. It must be so damn confusing after everything you’ve been through together.”
“That’s just it, though. It actually does sound like Rhett, or who he keeps telling me he is, anyway. He’s told me over and over that he’s not father material, doesn’t want to be a dad and that he’s no good at this sort of shit.”
Leaning back on the sofa, Laura blew on her cup of tea for a moment, a thoughtful frown on her face. “Hmm, let’s unpack that for a minute. He’s told you all of those things, but what has he shown you?”
I stared down at my own tea. Maybe if I drained it, the leaves at the bottom would give me the answers I was looking for. Or maybe I already knew. “He’s shown me that he’s funny, and sweet, and caring. He understands me more than almost anyone I know. Sometimes I almost think he’s psychic, the way he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. And he’s so reliable. Anything I need, he’s there. I feel safe with him in a way I’ve never felt before.”
“He really did seem to have your back,” Laura agreed with a nod.
“Yeah. But now he’s gone, and I can’t help wondering if I scared him off. If having an actual relationship, an actual commitment, was just too much for him after all. I mean, he told me that pretty blatantly. It’s my own fault for not believing him.”
“You want to know what I think?”
“Absolutely.”
“I think he feels more for you than he’s prepared to admit, and that’s scared him. He’s running.”
I tried to ignore the hope that flared in my chest. “Maybe. And what if you’re right? Where does that leave me?”
“That depends on where you want to be.”
“Well, how do I know that?”
Laura shrugged, a small smile on her lips as she sipped her tea. “You’re the only one who can answer that. But I think that once you do answer it, everything else will fall into place.”
“Oh, so no pressure then.”
“Just sit for a moment, give it a think, and see what comes up.”
Doing as I was told, I sat quietly, sipping my tea as Laura’s words echoed in my mind. “I think he feels more for you than he’s prepared to admit, and that’s scared him. He’s running.”
Could she be right? Had I misjudged Rhett all this time? I thought back to the way he’d held me, the way he’d touched my belly, feeling our babies move. The undisguised awe and wonder in his eyes in those quiet moments. It had felt so real, so genuine.
Glancing down at my growing bump, I felt a swell of emotion. These babies were a part of him, a part of us. And I wanted him here, so badly, to experience this with me. To build a real family, together.
It was at that moment that the realization hit me with the full force of an earthquake. God, I was shaking all over. Somehow, against all odds, this infuriating, charming, complicated man had wormed his way into my heart. And now that he was gone, the void he’d left behind was almost unbearable. There was no doubt about it. I was in love with Rhett Rivers. Fucking hell.
I set my teacup down with a shaky hand, meeting Laura’s gentle gaze. “I’m in love with him.” The words came out in a whisper, but they felt like a thunderclap in my own ears. “And I’m terrified he’s going to run away from me, and our babies, for good.”
Before Laura could reply, Ethan wandered in, mug of coffee in hand, and sat on the couch next to her. “What are we talking about?”
“Our girl is in love with Rhett, and she doesn’t know what to do about it.”
“Tell him,” Ethan answered simply.
Oh god, that was way too scary. “But what if?—”
He didn’t let me finish. “Darlin, life’s too short for what ifs. You get something like that, you hold on to it with everything you’ve got, and you never let go.”
Tears shimmered in Laura’s eyes as she smiled at her husband. It was all I could do not to start bawling at the look on his face when he lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. Then she turned to me. “What he said.”
Okay then. “Guess I’ve gotta figure out what I’m going to do.”
“Seems like! In the meantime, you’ll stay for dinner, right?”
“Thanks, I’d love that.”
Hours later, after I’d stayed for dinner and helped Mia with some homework, I was no closer to deciding on a plan. Now, the drive back to Esperance seemed to take forever. The scenery, usually a source of comfort, felt monotonous and oppressive. I replayed my conversation with Laura and Ethan over and over in my head. They were right. I couldn’t let Rhett slip away. But how do you fight for a guy who’s halfway around the world?
The distance felt huge, like a wall separating us.
Dragging in a breath, I tried to push away that feeling of hopelessness. Rhett had run, but I refused to let him disappear. Not now that I knew how I felt about him. Not when we had a family to build.
My phone rang, and I saw Veronica’s name on the screen. Hesitating for just a moment, I reached out and hit ignore. I wasn’t taking her shit tonight. I had more important things to think about. I needed to figure out what to do next. It was time to reclaim my life, to get Rhett back, and make this all work.