14. Leo
Shit.
Shit…
Shit!
When Veronica left my office, I gathered my stuff and headed straight to my bedroom. I couldn’t stay in that office a second longer, not after what had just happened.
What in the hell was I thinking?! How could I be so fucking stupid? I keep telling myself that it was a moment of weakness.
Veronica’s words had pushed me to the edge I’d been trying to steer clear of, but this time, I walked straight towards it with her guidance and jumped right off.
Goddammit!
The moment my lips touched hers, I blacked out. My office had faded away to nothing, and I had tunnel vision. She was the only thing I saw in my blindness. It was as if I had gotten drunk off my ass, and she was the alcohol I stupidly drank.
This shirt is too fucking tight. It’s suffocating me, stealing all the air from my lungs with how compressed it is against my body.
Unbuttoning the top few buttons, I tug the collar away from my neck, hoping it will relieve the panic of being unable to breathe. I’m not surprised when it doesn’t help. Only a little air finds its way into my lungs, but it isn’t enough.
I need more.
Unclasping the rest of the buttons, breaking a few off the thread that secured them to the fabric, I tear the shirt off of me. It falls to the floor as I continue to pace back and forth, not caring that I’ll never be able to wear that shirt again.
“Breathe, Leo.” I attempt to calm myself down.
I drive my hand through my hair to get it out of my face because even the strands brushing across my skin are too much stimulation.
I attempt to block out the images of what took place in my office, but it seems impossible to push the memories away because all they want to do is keep coming back to haunt me.
The kiss between me and Veronica shouldn’t have happened. My lips should have never touched hers. What was I thinking when I started it?
At the moment, all I thought about was how badly I wanted my mouth on hers, how I wanted to feel her plump lips against mine because I had to see if they were as soft as they looked.
Not only should I not have kissed her, but I definitely should not have touched her between her legs. That in itself was crossing a line.
The whole situation was wrong and super unprofessional.
Well, so much for calming myself down; seeing how the situation I desperately need to block from my head is all I can think about. My mind needs to be taken off of it, but since I’m doing such a poor job, I need someone else to do it for me.
There is no way I am calling my mother right now. How would I explain to my mother that I kissed my patient and probably would have done more if I hadn’t heard that laughter in the hall?
Thank God someone was out there, causing me to return to my senses. If not, I would have been in deeper shit than I probably already am right now.
Another shitty thing? The woman laughing out in the hall was Scarlet. Not only did the noises from out there stop me, but knowing she was behind my door made me feel guilty.
Scarlet is the woman I was supposed to chase. She was supposed to be the woman I was kissing.
If calling my mother or sister isn’t a viable option, I have no choice but to call Myles. It’s not like the man doesn’t give sound advice. I mean, he learned it from my mother, after all. But it’s Myles. I already know that he will freak the fuck out when I tell him.
I search for my phone because when I entered the room in my freak out, I had tossed everything on my bed in a panic, including said phone. Picking it up off the comforter, I glance at the time. He is still working, I’m sure. He may still be in a meeting, so I shoot him a quick text.
Hey man. Call me when you get a chance.
A minute passes with my heart still rapidly racing to where I’m afraid it may break free from my body and fall to the carpet. This is the longest minute ever. It feels like an hour before I see those three little dots and his response pops up.
I’m in a meeting but can call you after. Is everything alright?
Honestly? I’m kind of freaking out right now.
Why? What the hell happened?
My thumbs hover over the keyboard as I debate whether to type it out or wait until he is on the phone. Clenching my teeth together, I exhale loudly and type three words because I’m not sure I can say them verbally.
The three words are slowly typed, and I stare at the letters. The text cursor blinks at a rhythmic pace. In a panic, I press the delete button and watch as the words vanish. I take a few more seconds to find the courage to retype them and tap send before I can talk myself out of it.
I kissed her.
Dammit, Leo! I thought something was seriously wrong! You kissed her! Why the hell are you freaking out?
Wait . . . did she hate it? Did it make things awkward between the two of you already?
Or was it the opposite? Did she fall madly in love with you after one kiss and demand you marry her?
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter under my breath before I type again.
Fuck, Myles. No. That’s not what happened. I didn’t kiss Scarlet.
Okay, if you didn’t kiss the hot nurse, then who did you kiss?
Dammit. I can’t even type her name out. I opted to type my patient but only got to the “my” and then stopped. Luckily, I don’t have to type anything because Myles”s name lights the screen as he calls.
“Hi.” Was the only word that floated past my lips.
“You didn’t.” He figured it out without me having to admit it out loud. Good.
“I did.” Regret floods my system, and my face scrunches up.
“Let me get this straight.” He begins, a door slamming shut behind him, letting me know he is in the privacy of his own office. “You were too nervous to make a move on the hot nurse, so instead, you made a move on your hot patient?”
Sitting on the bed, my body falls back against the mattress. “I didn’t mean to make a move on her.” I groan. “Veronica said these things, and I snapped. It’s like I couldn’t control what was happening inside me, and all the control I thought I had in my body just... exploded.”
“She says all this stuff, which I would like to know what she said, by the way. Then you kissed her?” He works it out in his head. “You made the first move.”
“Fuck!” I curse and scrub my hand over my face. “This isn’t good, Myles...”
“Woah, woah, woah.” He stops me from continuing. “Who said it wasn’t good?”
“Me!” I snap a bit too loudly. Lowering my voice just above a whisper, I tell him, “She’s my patient. It is wrong on so many levels.”
“But was it good?”
“Come on, man. I called because I am freaking out about kissing her, and you’re sitting here asking me how it was?” I knew this was how the conversation was going to go. Myles only sees her as a girl and not as a patient. Maybe calling him wasn’t the best idea, but who would I have talked to?
“Right, right,” he pretends to agree. “Leo, how dare you kiss her! What the hell were you thinking?” A beat of silence. “Is that better?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now that I got that out of the way… tell me how it was.”
“If I tell you, will you go back to yelling at me for doing something wrong?”
“Maybe.” I can hear the tap of his pen against his desk as he waits for me to respond.
“It was... fuck... it was amazing.” My mind wanders back to how it felt to have her lips on mine. How much softer her mouth was than I had imagined, and how she reacted to my hand between her thighs. The sounds that came from Veronica’s mouth made me grow harder in my slacks in the office and now as I lie in bed.
“Damn.” Myles pauses for a second before saying, “Look, I get why you are freaking out. If someone were to find out, all hell would break loose.”
“Exactly. I’ll lose my job and have my license to work in this field taken from me. I wouldn’t be able to help those in need anymore.” The thought alone sends another wave of panic to flow through my chest. Helping people is what I was meant to do. If I don’t have that, then who am I? “She said she wouldn’t say anything to anyone.”
“Do you believe her?”
Do I?
There are many reasons for me not to trust that she will keep this a secret. For one, her track record with doctors. She has had them tossed out like yesterday’s trash as if she were trying to make a point, and Veronica could easily tell Dr. Bennett about what happened in my office.
She could spin the whole thing and tell him I came on to her. Unprovoked. Would he believe her or me? I’d like to believe I have gained his trust while working here, but you never know with these types of situations.
My future is riding on whether she will keep her mouth shut.
Even with these reasons, I feel she won’t tell.
“I do.” I finally answer. “There was something about how she said she would keep it a secret that felt honest.”
“That’s good then. She won’t slip up, and neither can you.” He reminds me. “And if it were to happen again...”
“It won’t.” I cut him off, my tone sharp and full of certainty.
Myles sighs. “But if it does, be careful. I’m your best friend, Leo. I know how you are. You used to go after any girl you wanted and succeeded, even if they played hard to get or were off limits.”
“That wasin college, and the women had boyfriends who were assholes,” I point out. “And back then, my job wasn’t at stake.”
“Alright, alright,” he says in defense. “Then don’t let it happen again.”
“Yeah, I just have to put my foot down if she attempts to provoke me again.” Seems simple enough.
“There you go.”
“Thanks for listening to me freak out.”
“It’s what I’m here for.” There’s a hint of a smile in his voice. “Shit, I gotta get back into the boardroom. Ran out of there in a rush. They are probably pissed.”
A chuckle leaves me. “Don’t get fired.”
“Same goes for you.”
Before I can respond, he hangs up on me—his last words about not getting fired ring in my ear. My willpower has to be at an all-time high the next time I see Veronica. I can’t lose my cool again, no matter what.
The hour-long shower I took helped calm me down a bit. I had to keep the temperature freezing the entire time. It was almost like submerging myself into an ice bath which sucked but cooled me down physically and mentally.
Since I already had my session with Veronica, the rest of my afternoon is free. There isn’t much to do around here, and if I wander out to the lake, there is a good chance I could run into Scarlet.
That I wouldn’t be able to handle right now. If I wandered inside the facility, there would be an even bigger chance of seeing Veronica.
I guess I’m spending the rest of the day in the comfort of these four walls.
Pulling out my laptop from my briefcase, I nestle into the small desk in my bedroom. It isn’t as massive as the one in my office, but it will do. It’s the same wood stain as my main desk but smoother. There are no intricate designs on the ledges of the top.
I barely sit at this desk, anyway, seeing that I mostly work in the office, and if I do work on my laptop, I’d rather be relaxing in bed. Today, though, I might as well put this one to use.
Once I’m comfortable in the lightly cushioned chair, I open the device and dive into research. I read the same articles on Veronica”s case over and over again, which I’ve read back at home.
I’m unsure why I continue to read them if it’s the same information I already know. I read all the things that Veronica has told me, minus the graphics of how she killed the man.
My body shudders as I recall her story. The way she delivered it and her entire demeanor changed while she told me the gruesome events.
No regret flashed behind her brown eyes when she told me she slit his throat. The only moment I saw regret pass through her eyes was when she talked about her sister.
She loves Stephanie. That much is clear. However, her older sister didn’t treat Veronica as she deserved when she was younger. Veronica would have done anything to protect her sister, which cost her everything.
Clicking back out of the current article I was reading, I scroll down the Google home page, growing annoyed that nothing new is popping up. The attitude I’m forming is my fault, given that I spent hours back at the apartment doing all this same research.
Article after article glows purple because I’ve already clicked on them and consumed every word on those pages. I don’t even know what I’m looking for at this point. Something that I overlooked?Information that Veronica is withholding?
With my pointer scrolling up on the trackpad, I reach the bottom of the screen and click on the number 2. The second page loads with more articles, all dyed purple except for one.
The title was mixed between news articles I’ve read, but it is still blue. Amongst the many links that I’ve clicked on this page, I’m not sure how I missed this one.
The title catches my attention immediately.
“The Rollins Family: Using their money to hide the twisted past of daughter Veronica Rollins.”
I click the link and wait for the article to load. The news reporter’s name underneath the title is one I’ve never heard, meaning they are probably unpopular among all the well-known and seasoned reporters.
It starts almost the same as the rest. Talking about her being caught with killing her sister”s boyfriend. The court case and how she pleads insanity.
Again, stuff I already know.
Keeping my eyes skimming the words, I finally grasp them when encountering new information.
The Rollins Family were never shy about how much money their family had. They donate to multiple charities, host Galas, and send their daughters to private schools. According to our resources on the last topic, Stephanie Rollins”s tuition was being paid for the entirety of her education at the Prep School.
Veronica’s education history, however, was all over the board. Her parents didn’t pay her tuition as they did Stephanie”s. The payment was made with Veronica at the beginning of the school year. She was in and out of school because of her behavior, from pulling a pair of scissors on a student in middle school to getting into a physical altercation in high school with another student.
This is public knowledge, given that Veronica’s parents pulled her out of private school after the first incident. The school wouldn’t tolerate that behavior, and every other exclusive school they tried to send her to turned the child down. Veronica spent the rest of her education in public school, separated from her sister. What makes little sense are the hidden occurrences you can’t dig up any dirt on.
For instance, how a male student ended up in the hospital after a date with Veronica when she was a sophomore. The doctors swore it was due to a car accident that night. Was it the truth, or did Veronica’s mommy and daddy pay off the doctors and the boy”s family to keep quiet?
“What the fuck?” I curse under my breath.
Other times could have been cover-ups. A man was found dead in his home when the last person he was seen with was Veronica Rollins. That, however, has no further evidence. It was a coincidence, or her parents also used their money to cover it. Does that mean Veronica killing her sister”s boyfriend was their last straw?”
I stop reading because this is all too much. My mind wraps around the information I’ve just read, trying to make sense of everything.
I knew Veronica had a rough childhood with her sister and her parents, but I didn’t know the extent. I didn”t realize what happened when she was in school, and I shouldn’t be surprised, but now?
Knowing that she comes from money, her parents would have been able to use their wealth to cover up what Veronica did in her teen years.
Were they trying to protect their daughter or their family name?
And what about now? Was the incident with Stephanie’s boyfriend their last straw? Did they finally have enough of the child they couldn’t control and let her face the consequences of her actions?
Veronica and her family are the only ones who know the answer to that, and seeing as I won’t be reaching out to her parents or her sister for the details, that leaves Veronica. I’m sure who will shut me down when I bring it up.