Chapter Thirteen
Rose
I don’t need anyone. But damn I miss him. -Rose
I creep quietly through the front door, trying my best to not make any noise. It’s weird that I have to tiptoe into my own house, but since I found out Dad went to see Lucky I’ve been avoiding him like the plague. It’s childish as hell, but we had one big blowup fight and we haven’t talked since.
My father always and I mean always thinks he’s right.
He’s never going to admit that what he did took things over a line.
I’m ready to be on my own. I understand why he treats me the way he does.
When I was younger, I needed every bit of attention he had.
I was sick, very sick, for long enough that it scared him, and our roles were set in stone.
He was the protector, and I was the one who needed constant protection.
Now, I just need to learn to live my life on my own.
“Rose, I need to see you in the kitchen, please,” my father’s deep voice echoes through the quiet house. “We need to have a discussion.”
I wince. Hell’s bells. I was hoping to put this off a little longer. I’ve been crying nonstop and my eyes are puffy and red. I was just out with a couple of my coworkers from the bookstore crying on their shoulders. They were sweet enough to listen to my tale of heartache.
“Coming,” I reply weakly.
My dad’s face is tense as I walk into our tidy kitchen.
I glance around looking for my usual signs of comfort there.
The cat clock on the wall that my mom picked out, the gingham tablecloth that she chose, and the painting of our house that she did when I was a little girl all give me a sense of home.
I sit down across from the man whom I loved first, but right now is enemy number one.
“Were you out with the girls?” he asks quietly. His fingers drum on the table belying the tension that’s still between us.
“Yep,” I answer in a stiff voice.
For a moment, there’s silence and I think of simply getting up and walking out. Then he finally speaks.
“I’m sorry, Rose.” The words are said so low I can barely hear them.
“What?” I ask, genuinely confused if I heard the words right.
He grimaces. “I’m sorry. What I did was wrong.” He shakes his head. “Going to see Lucky like that. Outing you for being sick when you were younger…all of it. You’re an adult and I should acknowledge that. You can make your own choices.”
I bite down hard on my lip and feel my eyes fill with tears. Crap. This is a big step for him.
I don’t say anything for a moment, which he seems to take as an indication that I’m not accepting his apology.
He places his hand on top of mine. “I’m genuinely sorry, Rose.
” He lets out a long sigh. “When you were younger, you relied on me so much. You were so damn sick. I thought every day that I could lose you. I was scared and I…I just took things too far.” There’s sincerity in his tone and regret is etched in every line of his face.
My dad was once my superman. I thought he could save the world.
He’s a big guy who used to have more muscles but has developed a paunch in the last few years.
His head of black hair is now sprinkled with grey, and his eyes have well-worn wrinkles around them.
Right now, he looks every bit of his sixty years.
I turn my hand over and squeeze his. “You’re not perfect, Dad. Yes, you angered me by going to Lucky, but I know your intentions weren’t harmful.” I let out a long breath. “I’m an adult. I’m going to make decisions you don’t like, including decisions on who I love.”
“You love this guy?” I nod. “Yeah, I do. There’s more to him than what you see. He’s actually an amazing person.” I shrug. “It doesn’t matter though. I probably won’t be seeing him again. He dumped me pretty fast after you went by and spoke with him.”
Dad leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his hair. “Crap, I’m sorry, Rose. It’s just the idea that you might be with someone that could hurt you…”
“Lucky would never do that, Dad. He’s a good man.” At least I thought he was.
“Guess I really screwed up.” He pauses. “It’s just when your mom died, a part of me went with her too.
” He glances around the room taking in the sight of the things that remind him of her, just as I did earlier.
“And then I almost lost you. And now here’s this guy who might make me lose you altogether… hell, the thought made me sick.”
I give him a slight smile. “You’ll never lose me, Dad, I promise. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I can go see Lucky again if you need me too. Tell him I was wrong for what I did.” Dad looks pained at the thought, but I appreciate the offer.
I shake my head. “Nope, he’s done with me. And if he doesn’t care enough about me to fight for what we have then it must not have been worth it.” I straighten in my chair. “I’m worth it. I’m worth him fighting for. You have nothing to do with that.”
“You are worth it, baby girl.” He shifts in his chair and leans forward. “I think you’re underestimating his feelings for you though. I think he cares about you more than you think.”
I wish.
I heave a long sigh and get up from the table. “I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for him to come around.”
Dad stands up and gives me a small hug. “He might surprise you, Rose. You never know.”
Not likely. But a girl can hope…