Chapter 20
Jessa wept into her pillow in the darkened hotel room. When it was time for sleep, Jax had chained her to the bed frame using the handcuffs and some cable he had in the car. Now he lay beside her, sleeping as she cried.
She touched her lower abdomen.
I'm so sorry, baby.
She'd been a fool to think she could get away from Jax, to have thought she could keep the child a secret forever. She remembered Jax's face as he accused her of everything she had done. There was some comfort in the hatred she saw there. At least it was better than the wanting.
She had no defense against that.
She squeezed her eyes shut and a fresh crop of tears made their way to the pillow. Her baby was the one who was going to pay the price for this. Her baby was the one who would be stuck with a tin man for a father. It wasn't fair, but nothing was ever fair.
Ralph was the one who should have been her child’s father, Ralph was the one who wanted a baby with her, who would have been such an incredible dad.
Not Jax.
Never Jax.
She thought of Linda, Jax's ex-wife, back in the day when Linda and Jax were still married.
The two women had been friends, if not the best of friends.
They had a lot in common back then, each of them married to a man who was married to HERO Force.
Linda had told Jessa how cold Jax could be.
How unforgiving. He'd made Linda's life miserable, and now he was going to make her and her child's life miserable as well.
It's all my fault.
She took a shaking breath in and felt the mattress move as Jax rolled over.
He was invading her personal space by sharing the bed with her, but he told her chivalry died the moment she decided to take his son or daughter away.
So here she was, tethered to a bed in a motel room with the one man who she desperately wanted to get away from.
What the hell was she going to do?
She needed a plan. Something to work for. If only he would realize what a terrible father he would make, how much better off this baby would be without him, then surely he would not choose to be a part of its life.
Would he?
Ralph used to say Jax was tenacious as a pit bull.
She clearly remembered how brutally Jax had ripped apart his ex-wife in court.
She and Ralph had even fought about it—her defending Linda, him clearly on Jax’s side.
She’d made a fool out of him, Ralph said, and broken his heart.
Jessa was fairly certain Jax didn’t have a heart, and personally held Linda blameless.
At least Linda had managed to get away from Jax, while here she was, sharing a bed with him.
And let’s not forget, you’re carrying his child.
Her baby. Not his.
Hers.