Matt
MATT
His father eyed him. “You’ve barely touched your lunch.”
looked at the now cold grilled cheese and tomato soup he’d made. It had been several hours since Ethan left, and besides texting to say everything was okay and he’d be back later, hadn’t heard anything. It hadn’t done wonders for his appetite.
“Ah, just not feeling very hungry at the moment.”
His father watched him carefully, eyes darting over his face. “You having trouble with that boy of yours again?”
looked up, startled. “What? No. And what’s this ‘again’ business?”
Calvin Howell snorted, scraping the last bits of soup out. “I might lose my mind occasionally, but I’m not blind, hew. Something happened not too long ago, and you were moping all over this house for days.”
“I was not moping ,” said, scandalized.
“You were,” his father said simply. “And you look like you’re getting ready to do so again. Has that boy been playing games with you like the last one?”
“The last one cheated on me, Dad,” reminded him. “And Ethan...no, he’s not playing games.”
“You plan on telling me what’s going on?”
“Dad, it’s okay.”
“hew.”
sighed, pushing his bowl away, giving up on trying to eat. “The problem isn’t Ethan. His brother is someone I work with, and he’s not exactly...okay with the whole gay thing.”
Calvin frowned. “Which one?”
“Keith.”
“You never mentioned this before.”
pushed his grilled cheese away for good measure. “Because it was never a real problem before.”
“hew, someone giving you hell because of your sexuality is a real problem,” Calvin said sternly.
“The point is,” said, trying to bring the subject back around to the point, “that Keith isn’t happy about that sort of thing. And he didn’t know Ethan was gay. He saw Ethan and me together...kissing. He got really upset and started...well, a fight happened.”
Calvin wiped his mouth. “Is this why you’ve been suspended?”
squinted at his father. “Have you been eavesdropping on my calls?”
“Not my fault that you don’t make sure I’m actually napping in my chair.”
“Dad!”
“Answer the question, hew.”
groaned. “Yes. I lost my temper and attacked Keith, okay? Broke his nose, bruised him up, all that. You happy?”
Calvin eyed him for a moment before smiling. “Good for you.”
“Dad,” protested, aghast. “You can’t be serious!”
“Yet, I am. I know I taught you violence should be avoided. But sometimes a man needs a good knock upside the head, literally or figuratively, before he understands his limits,” he said as he grabbed ’s sandwich.
“So everyone seems to be telling me lately,” huffed.
“You’re a good boy, hew,” Calvin said, tearing off a piece. “But you can be stubborn about the things you believe. Unnecessarily so.”
“It’s a family trait,” told him, narrowing his eyes.
Calvin brightened as he glanced out the window. “Oh, look, there’s your car.”
straightened, snapping his head toward the window. “He’s back.”
“Well, as much as I would like the rest of the story, I have a feeling I won’t be wanted for this conversation,” Calvin said, pushing up from the table. “You make sure that boy knows he’s welcome here anytime.”
“Weren’t you just ready to throw him to the wolves?” asked wryly.
“If he was playing games, yes. But if he’s having trouble and it’s causing more trouble, that’s not his fault, now is it? Don’t get smart with me, hew,” Calvin said as he marched away.
Before he could wonder at his father, he heard a soft knock at the door. Snorting, pushed himself up and went to open it. Sure enough, Ethan was on the other side, looking a little nervous, but a smile was on his face as he gazed down at .
“Sorry it took me so long,” Ethan said immediately.
“Get lost?” teased if only to ease the tension.
Ethan sighed. “I...had to drive around. Then sat at the beach for a while.”
“Thinking,” guessed.
Ethan nodded. “A lot of it.”
stepped back, motioning Ethan in. “Well, come on in. No point being on display for the neighborhood.”
“Worried?” Ethan asked.
snorted. “I don’t need anyone eyeing you and getting ideas. That’s my job.”
From the direction of the living room, he heard his father pipe up. “I’m old, not deaf, hew.”
“Which is the perfect time to tell you we should probably talk in my room,” told him. He then turned to the rest of the house, speaking far louder. “Because some people are too nosy for their own good.”
Ethan snickered as he pulled off his shoes. “I take it he’s doing good today?”
sighed. “For the moment. It can change hour to hour, day to day, or week to week. Everyone’s injury is different, and every person is different. Today? He seems to be his aware self and his annoying self.”
Ethan turned quickly, catching off-guard and kissing him. stiffened, but as soon as he realized what was happening, he relaxed, laying a hand against Ethan’s chest. The steady, if elevated, thump of his heart thudded against ’s fingertips.
“Missed you,” Ethan murmured. “Just had to get a kiss in.”
“By all means,” said softly. “Steal one when you want.”
“Good to know,” Ethan said, reaching out to slap ’s ass sharply. “Let’s get moving.”
yelped but backed up and led Ethan into the house. “Yes, sir.”
As they mounted the stairs, Ethan held a hand up. “Evening, Mr. Howell, you’re looking good today.”
Calvin snorted from his chair, book in hand. “I’ll have you know, I look good every day.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
“You know what they say about flattery, right?”
“That it’ll get me everywhere?”
Calvin grinned. “In this house, yes.”
They left him still chuckling as they entered ’s bedroom. Almost immediately, Ethan went to the edge of the bed and sat down hard. A heavy sigh billowed out of him, and made sure the door was closed before advancing on him.
“That bad?” asked.
“First things first,” Ethan proclaimed, patting his pocket. “I have some good news.”
“Oh?”
Ethan smiled. “I’ve been quiet about it because I didn’t want anyone getting too excited before I knew for sure. But you remember those few days when I was kind of AWOL?”
did, and he nodded. “I never asked, figured it was your business.”
“I went for an interview.”
“For what?”
“At one of the local police precincts.”
That got ’s attention. “You interviewed to be a cop?”
Ethan watched him. “Is there a rivalry here between cops and firefighters? I’ve heard about that before.”
laughed. “A little, but it’s not that bad. It's mostly friendly and nothing extreme. So, a cop, huh?”
“Protect and serve,” Ethan grinned. “And they emailed me back earlier.”
’s eyes widened. “What did they say.”
“After going through the right training, they said I should be fine on the physical?—”
“I’m sure of that,” said, looking Ethan over.
Ethan laughed. “Horndog.”
“Guilty as charged. And just as shameless.”
“And,” Ethan insisted, “they said that the rest I would need to know was procedures. They also told me I’m accepted into the academy, and I start in a couple of weeks.”
threw his arms around Ethan’s neck, squeezing tight. “That’s amazing! Are you sure that’s what you want to do? This is it?”
“Actually, yeah. This seems like the best place for me. And it would not only give me something to do, but it would let me connect with this city since it seems like I’m going to be here for a while,” Ethan said.
beamed. “It suits you.”
That he loved the idea of Ethan in uniform, again, was a different conversation.
But Ethan’s joy dissolved, replaced by tension in his eyes and thinning lips.
“Keith?” asked softly.
Ethan sighed again, shaking his head. “I knew it was going to be hard. I knew it was going to be rough. I just...didn’t expect how bad it was going to be, you know?”
sat beside him, pressing their legs together. “Tell me about it.”
“He,” Ethan began, eyes going distant, “didn’t want to accept it. Didn’t want the truth. But I didn’t back down. I told him everything. That I was gay, that I was with you, that if he wanted me in his life, he had to get over all the shit from the past and love me for who I am.”
couldn’t help but be impressed. Not that he’d expected Ethan to back down from what he felt he had to do, but he hadn’t expected the man to go full force, laying it all out. It was certainly more direct than thought he could have managed in Ethan’s shoes.
Ethan leaned over, laying his head on ’s shoulder. “I told him if he couldn’t do that, I would move out. I can’t...I love him, God, I love him, , so goddamn much. But if he can’t accept the truth, accept me , then there’s no point in staying around.”
wound an arm around Ethan’s waist and squeezed. “If that’s the case, you have a place here.”
Ethan chuckled softly. “Funny. Davis told me the same thing.”
blinked. “Davis?”
“Yeah, funny thing is, he beat me to it. He was there, trying to talk sense into Keith. So much sense that I think Keith was ready to hit him.”
“Hit Davis ?”
“Yeah. But I interrupted them before it could happen. Davis and I talked briefly, and he offered that I could stay with him if things went south.”
grew silent, thinking of Keith’s best friend. The same man who, while not nearly as bad as Keith, had initially been uncomfortable with anything to do with gay men. Yet, over the past couple of years, had seen a change in the man. He no longer made jokes at ’s expense, and he seemed genuinely, if privately, happy for Cade and Elias. Somewhere along the line, Davis had made a transition, and hadn’t noticed.
Ethan shook himself. “But it doesn’t matter. Even if Keith can’t handle shit, even if he can’t move forward, I won’t take back what I said.”
“And you shouldn’t,” assured him hurriedly.
Ethan picked his head up from ’s shoulder, hazel eyes bright and sure. “And I meant everything I said to you. I want to be with you, be there at your side. You don’t need anyone’s help, but you deserve it.”
gaped. “Uh, Ethan?—”
He shook his head. “No, it’s true. You’re one of the kindest, most compassionate, and sweetest people I’ve ever met. You’re also one of the strongest, most determined people I’ve ever known. I would be proud to be considered your boyfriend, lover, whatever word you want to use.”
blinked and then blurted out. “Is this the ‘can we be boyfriends’ speech?”
Ethan reached up, strong fingers curling around ’s jaw and holding him gently. “It is. Keith has been wrong most of his life. You, me, us? There’s nothing wrong with this. There’s nothing wrong with caring for someone, for knowing you could fall in love with someone.”
’s breath caught. “What?”
Ethan smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing had ever seen. “I’m talking about the fact that I could fall in love with you so easily, . And I hope that one day, you will fall in love with me. I don’t know if I’ll spend forever with you, but I know whatever time we spend together will be worth it.”
’s face grew hot, chest tightening, and he sputtered out what he hoped was meaningful. He grew silent, reaching up to take Ethan and pull him close. He had no words for the feelings pulsing through him fiercely, but he hoped he managed to pour all his longing, hope, desire, and need into that one kiss. If there was anyone he was willing to take the dive with, it was Ethan.
“Yes,” he finally managed, still holding on to Ethan. “With you? Yes, yes, yes.”
Ethan’s eyes sparkled brilliantly. “Thank you for this chance.”
Between them, felt a buzz. He jerked in surprise and Ethan frowned at his pocket. After hesitating, he reached between them and pulled out his phone. A second later, his face collapsed, not in sadness, but in what realized was relief.
“He doesn’t want me to move out,” Ethan breathed as if not believing it.
“What?” said hurriedly. “Keith?”
Ethan looked up, eyes watering. “Yeah. Says he doesn’t want me to move out, he just needs time.”
closed his hand over Ethan’s wrist, feeling his eyes prick in relief. “It’s going to be okay.”
Ethan wasn’t going to lose his brother, his connection to the world, and the last of his family. For whatever crap might be flung before them, whatever difficulty they had ahead, the brothers still loved each other. knew it wasn’t always the case, but in this one, it was, he hoped.
Ethan sagged. “I have you. I have him.”
“You do,” promised.
“That’s all I need,” Ethan said, pulling close. “All I want. His love and to be here, with you.”
“And you will,” promised.
Deep down, under all the worry and hope, he truly believed it would be everything for them. That this was the man who could carry him, and he could carry, for the rest of their lives. He didn’t know it for sure, he hadn’t seen it happen, but he believed.