Chapter 14 Heron
T he conversation with Brax repeated in my head as I sat with Rebel in our room, informing her of Brax’s idea.
“So you want to meet with Cerys? Alone?”
Yeah, Rebel didn’t like the idea. I could tell by the way she scrunched her nose. “To apologize and clear the air,” I explained. “We ended on a bad note, and that’s my fault. It wasn’t fair to her. She never got closure.”
“But,” she paused, “alone?”
“It’s to help her relationship with Brax.”
“How does you meeting alone with Cerys help her relationship with him ?”
Shit. My ol’ lady was getting riled up. I could see it in her sky-blue eyes. They darkened a shade before narrowing.
Fuck, even pissed she was beautiful.
“Babe, I want to make this right. That’s it. There’s no other motive here other than I want to help them work through their shit so you and I can do the same.”
“What shit do we have?”
Fuck. That wasn’t what I meant. “Spark, I just mean I don’t want anything coming between us. No secrets. No exes. Nothing.”
She blinked. As fast as her ire ignited, it fizzled out. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She bit her lip, glancing at the floor before her gaze lifted to mine. “Am I coming with you?”
“Of course. Brax offered to take you for coffee while I talk to Cerys.”
“Coffee,” she mirrored back, “with Brax.”
I snorted. “Yeah. Should be fun.”
Her lips twitched. “Uh-huh.”
The following weekend, I dropped Rebel off at a little café in Needles, California. Talon, Claw, Carrion, Falcon, and Hawk offered to come with us and keep Rebel company while I rode to Cerys’s place with Brax. Technically, Cerys lived with her grandmother, Twyla. It benefitted both women, and they had always been close.
I parked my bike beside Brax in front of Twyla’s place and shut down the engine. A part of me felt hesitant because I wasn’t sure if Cerys wanted this. The last thing I wanted was to make things worse.
Brax and I approached the door and knocked. Twyla opened it, gave a little wave, and left us standing on the front step.
Cerys seemed surprised.
Brax noticed. “Cerys, may we come in?”
She stepped aside, and we entered.
Before it could get awkward, I greeted her. “Hi, Cerys. I hope we’re not interrupting anything.” It smelled fucking amazing inside. She must have been baking. The sweet aroma of chocolate, sugary dough, and cinnamon permeated the house.
Damn. It made me hungry.
“I-well, not exactly. I’m making cookies.”
Knew it.
“What are the two of you doing here? Together?”
Good fucking question. I glanced at Brax as he cleared his throat.
“I’m not staying. I just came to explain.”
She arched a brow but remained quiet.
“I went to see Heron and asked him to come see you. I think the two of you have unfinished business.”
She seemed flustered. “Brax, I told you. There’s nothing between Heron and me anymore! For God’s sake, he has a woman.”
Hell yeah, I did. A fucking amazing little rebel that I adored.
Brax held up a hand. “I’m not saying there’s anything romantic between the two of you. I believe you. This is about bringing closure to you both about what happened between you. Heron said he had some things to tell you. It’s between you. I’m going to have coffee in town with Rebel and a few of the other Devil’s Murder guys. Take your time. Let me know when you’re done.”
I turned the other way as he kissed her, looking over the house as Brax said his goodbye. Cerys shut the door behind him and pointed to the kitchen.
“Would you like something to drink and some cookies?”
My stomach rumbled in response. I couldn’t help but grin as she led me to the dining table. “You know I never say no to a cookie. I’d love both.”
Once I had warm cookies and a cup of coffee, she sat across from me.
“First, I’ve got to tell you I was shocked when Brax showed up at our clubhouse in Henderson.”
She snorted. “Yeah.”
“He came to tell me he wanted me to speak to you and clear up what happened four years ago. I wasn’t opposed to the idea. I’ve wanted to do it for a while.”
She seemed to think over my words.
“After seeing you at the rally, I thought we’d get a chance while you were in Vegas, but then we didn’t see you again. He told me you left due to a misunderstanding between the two of you. I’m sorry for that.”
She blinked. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”
“In a way, it is. If I hadn’t left shit the way I did, he wouldn’t have questioned there was still something romantic between us. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt and left.” I shrugged. “He told me he was an asshole to you. The big guy loves you, and I know you love him. Don’t ask me how I just do. Will you please let me explain why I acted the way I did four years ago? It’s not an excuse, but if you hear me out, it might help to learn the explanation.”
She nodded.
I cleared my throat, took a sip of coffee, and forged on. “You know that my dad died not long before you and I broke up. I changed afterward, and you kept asking me to explain and let you help. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate you trying, Cerys. I know I didn’t act like it, but I did.”
“You were hurting, Manu. Err, Heron.”
I didn’t linger on her correction. “I was, but it wasn’t an excuse to hurt you. I want you to know I did love you, and walking away hurt like hell. But I could see that I was making you miserable, and I’d continue to do it and probably make shit worse. I didn’t want to destroy you, Cerys. I was headed down a dark road and wasn’t dragging you with me.”
She swallowed a gulp of coffee, taking in what I said.
“Do you remember when I told you I never felt like I fit in?”
“I do. You said you’d always felt different than your parents, even though they loved you very much.”
“Yeah. Pops told me about the adoption after my fifteenth birthday. Funny enough, I wasn’t shocked. It made sense to me. I never even got pissed until after his death, and it wasn’t because he wasn’t related to me by blood.”
“I can understand that.”
“What I didn’t tell you was that Pops spent years after they adopted me trying to find my birth parents. He only ended up with dead ends and disappointment. When he died, I lost everything. It felt like any connection I had to family had been erased. I had no one.”
Cerys reached for my hand and gripped it. “Heron, I’m sorry. I tried to help. I never meant to make you feel more stressed.”
“No, don’t do that. It wasn’t your fault, Cerys. You did support me. It was me . I felt that I didn’t have choices after both my parents died. I rebelled at the loss, and all that focus was channeled into anger. I just floated along without an anchor, even though I had you. But not having a home or family? The loneliness and pain consumed me. I had a hole that couldn’t be filled.”
A sad smile stretched her lips, but she sensed I had more to say and remained quiet.
“I spiraled further than you know after we broke up. Everything got worse. I lived in darkness and doubted I’d ever climb free from that pit. It’s safe to say I almost became suicidal a few times.”
She appeared forlorn at the idea. Tears filled her eyes and spilled over, cascading down her cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs and dropped my hands. “Don’t cry, pretty girl. It’s gotten far better than I ever could have hoped.”
“How? Did you find your birth parents?”
“No, but I hope I will one day. Pops was in the military, as you know, and he made a lot of friends. Through those connections, my name got passed along until it ended up with the Royal Bastards MC in Tonopah, Nevada. A biker named Patriot learned of my situation, and that’s how I met Crow. When Patriot called, hope renewed.
“I went to Henderson and my shot at becoming one of them, the Crows as they call themselves. I joined as a prospect, and Crow promised he’d do everything in his power to help me locate my birth parents. After a year, I got voted in and patched a member of the Devil’s Murder MC. Wanna know the best part?”
She sniffled and nodded.
“My club brothers are like me. I feel fully accepted and understood for the first time in my life.”
She appeared confused. “How? Are they all adopted, too?”
I couldn’t help the smirk that lifted my lips. “No, not for that reason.” I paused, hoping she’d hear this next part. “Okay, this next part is kinda wild. I think before I explain it, we need to make sure that you know that you did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault that we broke up. And as painful as it was, I think now we both know it was for the best. It allowed us to grow and find the people we’re supposed to be with all along. Our mates.”
I didn’t expect Cerys to lose it with my words. Grief flashed across her features before she began to sob. Shit.
Jumping up, I rushed to her side and hugged her, then decided she needed more than I could give and wasn’t the right person. I decided to call Brax.
“You’re done already?” he asked, answering faster than I anticipated.
Cerys continued to cry, and I knew he could hear.
“What the fuck did you do to her?” he thundered, as I heard a door slam shut and then his engine roar to life.
Well, fuck. He hung up.
It didn’t take him five minutes to reach the house, park his bike, and rush me at the front door.
“What did you do to her? I’ll kill you,” he shouted.
Uh-huh. Crazy ass, overprotective brute. “Man, fucking chill. I didn’t hurt her. She’s upset, but it’s got more to do with you, I think, than what I told her.”
His lip curled into a sneer. “Where is she?”
“In the kitchen. I told her why I acted the way I did back then. That’s all.”
I hoped he understood that I didn’t reveal all of it yet. Not even to Rebel. She didn’t know shit about my crow.
He shot me a look and rushed inside. I walked out, standing on the lawn as Rebel and my club brothers rumbled to a stop on the driveway. They rose off their bikes and kicked down the stands as Rebel raced toward me.
I clutched her to me, knowing that the final secret between us would be revealed soon. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want anything coming between us. She needed to know what I was, and I needed her to accept me and my crow. We were a package deal.
Rebel never brought up what she saw while on Alpha Caden’s lands or if the wolves shifted in front of her. Maybe she never saw anything, but I wouldn’t be sure until we discussed it.
That conversation was long overdue.