Chapter 23 #4
And that’s probably why he’s one of the most brilliant men to work with.
Blakely: I’m not even going to ask you if you’re sure because you told me you mean everything that comes out of your mouth. I appreciate it, Huxley, and I promise, when I start with the company, I’ll give you everything I’ve got plus more.
Huxley: I don’t doubt it.
Halsey shifts in bed and reaches across the empty mattress. When he doesn’t find me, his head pops up and he looks around the room.
“Right here,” I say to ease his panic. I set my phone down and climb back into bed with him. He spoons me around the waist and buries his head in my hair.
And once again, he holds me tightly, never letting go the entire night.
HALSEY
“Good morning,” Blakely’s sweet voice says as her hand strokes over my forehead.
I open my eyes and find her standing over me, hair wet and fresh from the shower with a towel wrapped around her body.
“I packed you all up so you’re ready to go. Eli said you leave in about forty-five minutes.” Her fingers continue to stroke my forehead, and it’s just enough of a touch to put me back in my safe space with her.
“I’m . . . I’m sorry,” I say.
Because how could I not be sorry?
I was such an idiot thinking that not talking to Blakely would help me when, in reality, I needed her more than anything. I needed her warm body, her touch . . . her love. Her presence.
I couldn’t get myself together enough to play last night, which only made me feel more like shit because I was letting my team down, and we lost. Thankfully, it was a game where our coach rested players, so it didn’t seem like I was missing for any serious reason.
Eli and Pacey helped me back to my room, didn’t ask questions, didn’t bother me to talk about anything. They sat with me until Blakely showed up, and I’m not sure they even knew she was coming. They would have stayed there all night probably.
Blakely takes a seat next to me on the bed and runs her hand over my cheek. “Don’t apologize. There’s no need to.”
“Yes, there is. I never should have ignored you.”
She leans over, touching her forehead to mine.
I catch her towel fall open, and her breasts rest against my bare chest. “Don’t, Halsey,” she whispers as she straddles my lap.
“Don’t feel like you need to apologize. I appreciate you realizing what happened, but I also understand how pain can determine your decisions. ”
My hands smooth up her back as she presses a very soft kiss to my lips.
The fear, the anxiety, the pain all washes away because her lips are like a drug, making me forget and helping me escape.
I roll her to her back, the towel falling from her completely and leaving her naked in my arms, then caress her cheek with my thumb.
Those eyes captivate me. They offer me peace and calm.
Those lips make me feel alive.
And her body is the warm, comforting blanket I’ve needed for so many fucking years.
“You’re everything I need,” I say to her. “And I’m such a fucking fool for ignoring you. I’m lost, Blakely. Hurt. Teetering on the edge of whether I’m worth this life or not.”
“You are,” she says so quickly that I can feel the words break through to me.
They aren’t empty. They aren’t a gut reaction.
They’re full of meaning. “You are so worth this life, Halsey. You bring so much joy to people. You are such a beacon, a kind, thoughtful, loving soul. Your boys love you more than anything.” She swallows and says, “I love you more than anything.” Her eyes fill with tears as I lift, stunned, but she loops her arm around my neck and pulls me closer.
“I love you, Halsey. And I’d be devastated if you didn’t know that, if you believed you don’t deserve to spend time on this earth, because you do.
I love you, and I need you. I don’t need your family.
I don’t need you to solve any issues settled on your shoulders.
Because none of that matters. What matters is you and me. ”
“Blakely . . .” I choke out.
“And I’m sorry if you’re not ready to say I love you, but I—”
I don’t let her finish as I crash my mouth to hers, parting her lips with mine and driving my tongue against hers.
She matches my energy, my strokes, my desire to be close.
I cup her cheeks and move my thumb to under her chin where I tip it up, giving me a better angle.
Her hands travel to my shorts, where she pushes them down and uses her legs to maneuver them the rest of the way, leaving us both naked.
She spreads her legs and reaches between us, where she grips my cock and starts pumping my length. It takes seconds before I’m so hard I can feel my entire body tingle. That’s when she positions me at her entrance. But I don’t enter her.
Instead, I lift and stare into her questioning eyes.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing. I . . . I wanted to say.” I wet my lips. “Fuck . . . I love you, too, Blakely.” Her eyes soften. “I’ve loved you from the very fucking moment I laid eyes on you. I knew you were supposed to be mine, I just didn’t know how I’d make it happen.”
“I’m yours,” she says. “All yours.”
“And I’m never letting you go,” I say as I enter her, pushing all the way to the hilt.
I bring my mouth to hers, our lips melt together, our tongues colliding, and our hands strive for a touch, a feel. And I sink into her, lightly pulsing my hips and relishing in the feel of her wrapped around me, our undeniable energy, attraction, connection molding into one.
Her hands grasp my cheeks, holding me in place as her tongue dives against mine, swirling, taking.
This woman. This stunning, selfless woman loves me.
“I love you, and I need you. What matters is you and me.”
And it’s in her arms that I begin to see a chance to heal. Her love. Her belief in me.
She loves me.
My hips start to pump faster as my desire grows, my need pounding on my back, telling me to take more. Her fingers dig into my shoulder as she arches into my chest, her hard nipples rubbing against my pecs.
“Fuck, baby,” I whisper. “You are everything I’ll ever need. This body, your heart. It’s all I fucking need.” I glance down and watch my greedy cock sink into her deep warmth. The visual brings me to the edge. “I’m right there.”
“Me . . . too,” she moans right before taking my mouth again, and as her tongue dives deeper, swiping and tangling against mine, her body shivers and quakes beneath me. “Oh . . . God,” she cries into my mouth just as she constricts around my cock.
Her cries echo through the hotel room, and I’m wrapped up inside her, her contracting pussy sending me right over the fucking edge.
I groan into her shoulder as my hips still, and I come.
“Jesus . . . Christ,” I say as I let my hips lightly pump for a few more seconds. Once we’re both satisfied, I look her in the eyes. Cupping her cheek softly, I say, “I love you, Blakely. So fucking much and this . . . this is what I need. I need you. I want you. I never want this to end.”
“Me neither,” she says with a smile. “But you have a plane to catch.”
“Fuck, I know.” I give her one more kiss, then I pull out before hopping off the bed and lifting her into my arms.
I carry her into the bathroom, and we wash up in the shower together. I try to keep my hands to myself as much as possible, because the last thing I need is to get caught up in my desire for this woman all over again.
Once we dry off, we both get dressed—her into comfortable clothes and me into a suit.
I’m buttoning up my shirt when she says, “I don’t want to pressure you to tell me what happened, but just know, Halsey, I’m always here for you whenever you’re ready, if you’re ever ready.”
“I know you are.” I walk up to her, press my finger under her chin, and lift her mouth to mine. I softly kiss her as her hands find my shirt. She helps me button it up as I say, “I called my mom.” She moves slower. “She told me my dad died.” Her eyes snap up to mine.
“Oh my God, Halsey, I’m so sorry.”
I take a piece of her hair and twirl it around my finger. “Still don’t think I believe it. Processing all of that. But then . . .” I take a deep breath, knowing that when she hears what I’m about to say, she’ll help take the pain away. “She, uh, she told me that the wrong twin died.”
A gasp falls past her lips before she stands and brings her hands to my face.
“Don’t for one second,” she says, staring me in my eyes, “believe anything about that statement. Because it’s not true, it’s a pathetic thing to say by a lost woman searching to hurt anyone and everyone because she’s hurting.
” My throat grows tight as tears form in my eyes.
“Do you hear me, Halsey? There is no validity behind that statement. You are worthy of this life, of this air I share with you, of this love we feel. You are worthy of it all.”
My tears stream down my cheeks, and she wipes them away with her thumbs.
“I’m so sorry you had to hear that,” she continues.
“I’m so sorry that you had to feel her pain, that she transferred that over to you.
It wasn’t right, and it was undeserved. But you have to know that Holden would never think that.
He’d be proud of you for the man you are and the hurdles you’ve faced.
The changes you’ve made. The love you’ve accepted.
This is your life to live and don’t let anyone else tell you differently.
Promise me.” She grips me tightly. “Promise me, Halsey.”
More tears fall past my eyes as I lightly nod. “I promise you.”
“Thank you.” She then lifts on her toes and presses a deep, loving kiss to my lips while looping her arms around me, holding me close.
She rubs her hand over my chest. “I know it will take time to sift through everything you’re feeling and this won’t just magically disappear. That’s not how hurt works. But I will be here for you every step of the way. I’ll stand by your side, reminding you just how special you are to this world.”
Just then, there’s a knock on the door.
It has to be one of the guys.
“I’ll get it,” she says before giving me one more kiss and answering the door.
I finish buttoning my shirt just as Eli, Posey, Silas, and Pacey walk into the room, all shuffling inside wearing their suits.
All it takes is a moment of eye contact before they each walk up to me and pull me into a hug.
Posey is first. He pats me on the back and says, “I love you, man.”
Silas is next. He clasps my hand with his and gives me a shoulder hug before saying, “I love you.”
Pacey follows Silas and offers me a large hug while quietly saying, “I love you.”
Eli is last. And as I look him in his watery eyes, I realize just how much this path we’ve been down has wrecked us both.
When he pulls me into a hug, I nearly feel myself crumble as he squeezes me tight.
“You mean so much to us, to this team, to this world. You’re supposed to be here.
You’re here for a reason, and never forget that.
” When he pulls away, he grips my face and forces me to look him in the eyes.
“Holden was an alcoholic. I knew that; you knew that. We tried to fucking help him, but he wouldn’t help himself.
No one is to blame but him. Got that? No one.
” More tears stream down my cheeks as I silently nod.
“You have a family, right here in this room. You have brothers, you have sisters, and you have your girl. We are the ones who matter. Our opinions. And collectively, we need you walking by our sides because we love you, Halsey. Okay? We fucking love you.”
I nod, and Eli pulls me into a hug one more time, squeezing me tight.
The hold he has on me reminds me just how right he is.
I have everything I need right here in this room.
I have people who care.
People who love me.
Who want me to do well in this life.
I can’t dwell on the past and the spiteful words tossed my way from damaged people.
My brothers, they’re the ones that are important, they are my rocks, my foundation, and this is what I build on.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice so tight, I barely hear it. “I love you all.”
Posey sniffs off to the side, grabbing all of our attention. When he looks around the room, he says, “I think . . . I think there’s something in my eye.”
Silas pushes his shoulder. “Just fucking cry if you’re going to cry. Be a goddamn man about it.”
“Yeah, look at Halsey. He’s not trying to hide his emotions,” Pacey says. “Or Eli.”
“I’m not hiding it,” Posey says as he turns away and wipes at his eyes.
“You’re an idiot.” Silas loops his arm over Posey’s shoulders and guides him to the door. “See you downstairs, man.”
Pacey offers me a salute.
And Eli gives me one last hug before taking off, leaving me alone with Blakely.
With a large smile on her face, she walks up to me and says, “You are so lucky you have those nitwits in your life.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I am. But most importantly, I’m lucky to have you.” I loop my arms around her. “I’m assuming you’re going back to California, and I’ll see you there?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. I told Huxley I needed time and if he fired me, I was okay with that, but I needed to be with you.”
“You said that?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes, Halsey.” Her hand smooths up my chest. “I can live without the new job, but I can’t fathom walking this life without you by my side.” I stroke her hair, staring at those beautiful eyes that captured me from day one.
“You chose me.”
“And I’ll choose you every single time.”
My heart swells, and I angle her head up, capturing her mouth with mine.
During the darkest time of my life, when I was walking through every day with no purpose and simply going through the motions, a sliver of light awoke the dead inside me. That light was Blakely. And the more I got to know her, the more I realized she was sent to me and meant to be in my life.
And I like to believe Holden had a big part in making that happen.