Chapter 20 #3
Cane kicked his long legs out in front of him and threw his arms over the back of the bench.
He said, “Last time this shit happened, it took over a year to draw Reno out of himself again. He’s had a lot of therapy since then, helping to learn how to break out of compulsive spirals and the like, but it can get bad.
We’re all concerned this will trigger those kinds of patterns again. ”
“I didn’t know you cared so much.”
Cane chuckled. “I’ve been with these boys for over a decade. I’d die for Reno.”
Luka squirmed. “Everyone is so intense about them all the time.”
“He inspires that in people. Both good and bad.” Cane moved his legs out of the way as another person jogged by. “I think people like him only come around once every few decades. People who burn so bright it’s kind of hard to be around them. It can make people a little insane. It’s why I like you.”
“What?” Luka tilted his head to look at Cane.
“You don’t act crazy about him. I mean, wait. Let me rephrase that. You act mental about him in the way that's like, you would as a person in love with another person. Not as a person in love with Reno.”
“But, I—”
“You treat him like just another person, while still appreciating the magic he makes. In all my years of being with Volt, I’ve never seen someone other than the boys be that way with him.
Eh, no, I take that back. Sage is alright too.
That girl is fierce. She doesn’t care for Reno’s music, though, so I think it spared her from the fanatic tendencies.
Still, I don’t think anyone in the world could get one up on her. ”
“That’s true,” Luka mused. “Wait, does that mean you think I’m like that? Tough, or whatever?”
“Yeah, now you’re getting it.”
“No, I’m not,” Luka argued. “Or, just that, I disagree. I’ve let plenty of people control me in the past. I get tricked by people more often than I like to admit. I let the people I love walk all over me.”
Cane hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it was, but you gotta look at yourself a little harder, mate.”
Luka watched a squirrel run up a tree and asked, “What should I do?”
“Fight.”
Luka was quiet for a long time. “I’m so… tired, though.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Cane leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, watching the same squirrel. “But, you might be the only person who can stand by Reno and fight this battle with him.”
“I want to,” Luka confirmed. “I want Reno to have a life where he can have more freedom, where we can be together, and if it takes me…I don’t know, doing a joint interview or talking to PR with him, or something.
Maybe people would have to back down. Maybe I’ll get back on social media and just start confirming or denying things.
” Luka bounced his foot a few times, feeling a plan form and the relief at having an inkling of direction was like a balm.
“I’ll see what Reno says. Maybe I can fix this. ”
“I wouldn’t get back online. Stick to professional outlets. It has more credibility.” Cane nodded and Luka nodded back before they both stood from the bench.
They ran back, pushing themselves faster than usual to return to the flat. But when they arrived, Reno was gone.
Rosé
are u ok, darling?
not to be callous but idk if i can tryst anyone i met through joy rn
i know
thats completely reasonable too. i wanted to reach out anyway and say im really happy i met you.
if you dont want to be friends, then ok, i get it but ill shed some tears… but i only ever partied with joy, i didnt know she had such an ugly past and i dont fuck with that.
alright, heard. give me some time.
as much as u need <3
[Wulf0025]
guns r illegal in the uk right
what? why
ah they must be, he's still alive!
im not suicidal, prick.
yeah yeah. how r u holding up?
i wish everyone would stop asking. im tired. Reno isnt even home. hes been gone all day. idk where he want or when or if hes even coming back
have u texted him?
no.
-.-' bro… u are so stubborn. stop wallowing.
fuck off… I'm not. I'm coming up with a plan.
August
[image attachment] michael says, please dont be so sad ur boyfriend's psycho ex stalked you. also hi :3
Maria
if u need a plane ticket, i got you. dont even stress.
just, dont take this offer unless you really feel you should, ok?
okay.
Luka dropped his phone onto the bath mat.
The damn rug was shaped like a heart. His phone thumped as it landed.
He pushed himself underwater until he was completely submerged and wished he was the kind of person who would let himself scream.
He didn’t. He just held his breath until everything hurt then let go of the edges of the tub to take in a gasp.
The front door closed and Luka thought about going back underwater again and not resurfacing.
Reno would pull him out though, probably try to give him CPR before even checking if Luka was breathing or not.
Luka almost smiled at the thought but a timid, “Tadaima—1” came from the living room.
Luka listened to Reno move through the flat before knocking softly on the bathroom door.
“Hanasemasu ka2?”
“Un3.”
The door cracked open, and Reno poked his head in. He saw Luka was in the tub and looked down with a blush high on his cheeks. “Can I come in?’
“Yes, but not into the tub. This is my water, right now.”
“Fair enough.”
Reno moved Luka’s phone out of the way and sat down on the mat, his hands folded in his lap. He looked a little ragged, but not disheveled. “I’ve been with Kandi and Jaewon most of today.”
“Okay.”
“We are trying to figure out what to do.”
Luka pulled his lower lip between his teeth, worrying it. He was distantly glad that Reno at least seemed to be behaving somewhat normally, if at least put together. He asked, “Can I know?”
“Yes.” Reno dipped his head and Luka narrowed his eyes at him.
He didn’t care for how formal Reno was acting, like he was trying to put distance between them, even though Luka lay naked in the bath in front of him.
“The team at the label is currently tracking down the IP addresses of the users online. I don’t…
I don’t understand this stuff, sorry. But they are tracing it to—”
“Joy.”
Reno flinched. “Yes.”
“Rosé apologized to me today.”
“That's good.” Reno sounded like he meant it, but his posture was still stiff.
“Said she didn’t know about Joy’s past, and she didn’t fuck with it. I think we’ll be able to be friends still.”
“Have you spoken to any of your other friends?”
“Yeah, Maria said she’d get me a flight home.”
Reno’s eyes widened. “Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know yet. It depends.” Luka propped his forearms on the tub’s side and rested his chin on them. “I don’t think so, but I’ll admit I am anxious and fretting. I do want to try to fix this.”
“Me too,” Reno said. “It is why I have been working with Kandi. We’re working on damage control, well, she is, as well as the PR team. I’m in a lot of trouble, and they’re not letting me help much.”
“Not surprising.” Luka’s gut squirmed. “What does the team want from you?”
“To make a public statement soon.” Reno looked down at his hands while wringing them together. “I don’t know what to say yet.”
Luka scoffed, and Reno looked back at him, confused. “You know what you need to say.”
“Do I?”
“Yes, you have to choose. I’ve been thinking.”
Reno tilted his head and the action was so familiar it made Luka ache.
“I want to announce our relationship. Publicly.”
Reno’s lips parted, but nothing came out.
“If we do, the focus across all platforms will just be about us. People might even be excited, and if people get upset, it’ll at least remove the pressure on you and your family.
Tabloids like a new juicy relationship story way more than they like a ten-year-old court case.
They’ll just start writing about us, being together, being gay.
Us, being together, not letting all the shit get under our skin. What do you think?”
“I—” Reno sighed, then leaned forward, his forehead pressing against Luka’s. “You amaze me. You scare me.”
Luka brushed the side of his nose against Reno’s, smelling his sweet scent, feeling the warmth of his skin. “You’ve scared me from the beginning.”
“You’re brave, remember?” Reno’s breath was hot against Luka’s lips as he spoke.
Luka felt his mind going fuzzy the way it always did when Reno pressed too close. He managed to mumble, “Are you not?”
“Hm?”
“Are you not brave, too?” Luka asked.
Reno took in a long breath and answered, “I’m not so sure. Usually, I feel like I am, but I think you might be my weakness. I think of you and am terrified of you being hurt, of hurting you.”
“You,” Luka wanted to argue. He wanted to say again that Reno needed to let Luka stand on his own feet, to stand beside Reno in everything they did. That protecting Luka was hurting him. “Hikaru?”
“Luka?”
“I love you.”
Reno swallowed, then his hand found Luka’s cheek to caress him gently. “And I, you.”
“What are we going to do about that?’
“Live together, grow old together.”
“What if we can’t?” Luka pressed his face into Reno’s hand. “What if it’s not enough to love you?”
“You say such horrible things, sometimes.”
“I’m sorry.”
Reno sighed, then slowly stood. He held a towel out for Luka, who stood up from the cooling water and let himself be wrapped in its softness. Reno placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before helping dry his hair enough so they could lie in bed together.
Reno held him under the blankets, their skin pressed together and his head tucked into the hollow of Luka’s throat. And as Luka started to doze off, he realized Reno didn’t agree or disagree with Luka about them going public.