~Chapter 15~
Idris' pov:
I wake up with difficulty.
Heavy body. Even heavier thoughts.
I open my eyes slowly, blinking a few times until the room takes shape. The morning light filters through the curtain, too soft for how agitated I feel.
"...uh," I murmur softly.
I didn't sleep well.
Not at all.
I run a hand over my face and get out of bed, my movements slow, still tired. My body doesn't seem to want to listen to me.
But that feeling...
It doesn't go away.
It's there.
In my chest.
In my stomach.
Like a string pulled in several directions at once.
I frown slightly and head for the bathroom, without thinking too much.
The cold water hits me immediately.
I run my hands through my hair, letting it run over me, trying to clear my mind.
It doesn't work.
Not at all.
I take a deep breath, leaning my hand against the shower wall for a second.
"What the hell is wrong with you, kid.
.." I mutter.
It's not just tiredness.
It's not just stress.
It's something deeper.
More... weird.
When I get out of the shower, I wrap the towel around my waist and stand in front of the mirror for a second.
I don't look directly at my face.
First at my body.
At my stomach.
My fingers automatically stop there.
I gently pull the towel down, just enough so I can see clearly.
A shadow of instinctive protection crosses my mind.
I run my palm over my stomach area, slowly, almost absently.
It's not much of a change... except that my squares are gone and I look like I haven't shitted in a week.
Everything feels...Real. Present.
I breathe slowly, looking at myself in the mirror.
"...ok," I murmur softly.
It doesn't seem like a problem.
But it's not normal either.
I close my eyes for a second.
Dreaming of what my life would be like if I were just a beta, not one who could have children.
But this is it.
It's normal...I think.
I leave the bathroom and go to the closet, pulling out a tank top and some baggy shorts. It's summer after all and it's 32 degrees Celsius outside, and now everything in my house is amplified to the point where it feels like it's hell outside.
I change and look at myself one more time before I leave the room. Acceptable.
I go down the stairs and head straight to the kitchen to make myself some iced lemon tea, which has become my new obsession since I got pregnant.
I pause for a moment in the kitchen doorway.
The air is quiet.
Too quiet.
The sound of a spoon lightly touching a cup reaches my ears before I see him.
I look up.
My father is there.
He's sitting at the table, a cup in front of him, leaning slightly against the back of his chair. He's not tense like usual. He's not cold. But he's not completely relaxed either.
He's... different.
Calmer.
More attentive.
His gaze lifts to mine as soon as I enter.
He studies me for a few seconds.
Too attentive.
I clench my jaw slightly.
I don't say anything.
He doesn't say anything at first either.
He just... looks at me.
Then, finally, he clears his throat.
"You're up early."
His tone is neutral.
Not harsh. Not cold.
Just... real.
I nod slightly. "Yeah. It's 10 o'clock."
I walk over to the counter, grabbing a mug and starting to make my iced tea, avoiding looking at him directly.
I feel his gaze on me.
Still.
"How are you feeling?
" he asks after a few seconds. I don't rush to answer.
The water flows slowly.
The lemon falls into the glass.
I breathe in lightly.
"Okay," I finally say.
A simple answer. Sure. But not entirely true.
I glance at him briefly.
And for a moment...
I see something different in his eyes.
Not control.
Not authority.
Just...care.
"Have you eaten anything yet?" he continues.
I shrug slightly.
"Not yet."
He pushes his chair back slightly and stands up.
Not abruptly. Not like before. Calmer.
He approaches the cupboard and starts searching for something.
"You have to be careful," he says more quietly. "You're not... just you anymore." The words hang in the air.
I stop moving for a second.
I squeeze the mug lightly in my hand.
"I know," I reply simply. It doesn't sound defensive.
But it's not completely accepting either.
I look at him again, more carefully this time.
"It's okay," I add after a pause. "I can take care of myself.
"
He doesn't answer right away.
He just turns to me.
He looks at me for a long moment. Then he nods slightly.
"I don't doubt it."
Silence. It's not tense.
But it's not easy either.
"If you need anything. .." he says, "say."
I look up at him.
For a moment, I just look at him.
Then I nod.
"Okay."
He picks up his cup from the table and takes a step back.
"Don't forget to eat," he adds before leaving the kitchen.
And he leaves.
Without another word.
The door closes slowly behind him.
I'm left alone.
I put my mug down on the counter and exhale slowly.
For a second...
everything seems quiet.
Too quiet.
Then..
I lightly tense my fingers on the edge of the counter.
My breathing changes.
Deeper.
Heavier.
I look straight ahead, unblinking.
"You really don't plan on leaving your mommy alone for a bit ?
" I whisper, and rub my stomach where I feel movement.
With my other hand I take my mug and start drinking from it.
Rainbow on the roof of my mouth
The air begins, slowly... to calm down.
The sensation doesn't disappear completely.
But it changes.
It's no longer a sudden impulse.
It's no longer alarming.
It's... a little softer.
Warmer.
I lower my shoulders a little without realizing it.
My breathing slows.
I look down at my stomach again.
This time... I don't just feel something strange.
I feel... a presence.
Small.
Fragile.
Real.
I frown slightly, but not out of anger.
More... out of misunderstanding.
I run my palm over the area, more slowly this time.
I wait.
And for a moment... nothing. Then... a light sensation.
Like an answer.
Like a touch that isn't physical.
My heart tightens slightly.
"...hey..." I whisper without realizing it.
My voice is lower.
Calmer.
"...are you there?"
I don't get a clear answer.
But there's no need.
Because the feeling remains.
It doesn't go away.
I swallow hard and rest my palm there, without pressing any more.
Just... hold.
I breathe slowly.
"I don't know if I'll be good at this..." I murmur almost in a whisper. I smile weakly. Very weakly. "...but I'll try."
The silence around me isn't heavy.
It's... soothing.
For a few seconds, I stay like that.
Still.
With my palm over my stomach.
Listening.
Feeling.
Present.
And, somewhere in the background... that strange sensation... becomes a little warmer.
Beep
Beep
Beep
I take my phone out of my pocket and see that it's Maria.
I answer.
"Yes Maria?" I say, and then I drink from the mug again.
"Did you clean the pool?" She asks. I move from the counter and now I'm at the sliding door looking at the freshly cleaned pool.
"Yes. Samuel did his work two days ago" I say and smile a little, unconsciously.
"It's so hot outside. I'll come to your place after I finish training with my dad.
Save a spot in the sun for me too" she says and looks excited
I let my palm slide slowly down my abdomen, not rushing.
The morning heat is already starting to press down, but now... it's not as harsh.
I look out over the pool. The water shimmers in the sun, calm, almost perfect.
The corner of my mouth lifts slightly.
"Yes," I answer into the phone, my voice more relaxed.
"I'm done. Don't worry, I've already saved your spot.
" I lean lightly against the sliding door frame, looking outside.
"Don't come in tired," I add, more calmly.
"You know she'll be even more tired after you relax. "
A small pause.
And for a moment, I feel it again.
Not strong.
Not overwhelming.
Just... there.
A discreet sensation, like a presence reacting to my voice.
I tilt my head slightly, almost imperceptibly.
"See you later, Idris. Bye" he literally screams and laughs softly.
I hang up the call and stand still for a second.
The sun.
The water.
The silence.
I run my hand over my stomach again, shorter this time.
"It seems like... I already have an appointment," I murmur softly, with a barely visible smile.
It's not the same confusion anymore.
It's not the same chaos anymore.
It's something simpler.
More... natural.
I pick up the mug and take another sip of the cold tea, leaning against the door.
---
(An hour later)
I didn't even realize that I had been in the kitchen for about an hour, preparing something to eat.
I only realized it when Samuel came down the stairs more tired than he was before he went to sleep.
"You know... you're the kind of person who, after waking up, has to relax for another 5 minutes on the corner of the bed," I say and he raises his middle finger and sits down at the stools at the counter.
"I'm hungry. What are you doing?" He asks and puts his hand to his cheek with his eyes half-open.
I laugh softly and put the two bowls on the table, because I knew he was waking up.
He looks at me, at the bowl and then I open the drawer and give him a spoon, he takes it and starts eating without commenting.
I sit down at the table with my bowl in front of me, trying to ignore that feeling that's still circling inside me.
The air is warm. Too hot.
I prop my elbows on the table and stare at the contents of the bowl for a second.
Yogurt. Oats. Fruit and lots of strawberries.
What I want
It should be simple.
I pick up my spoon.
I bring it to my mouth.
And stop.
My eyebrows furrow slightly, involuntarily.
"...come on," I murmur softly, almost audibly
I try again.
I swallow a small amount.
And immediately I feel my stomach... tensing.
Not pain.
But no comfort either.
I stop again, exhaling through my nose.
I run a hand over my face.
Samuel, who is sitting across from me, looks up at me.
He doesn't say anything at first.
He just looks at me.
Too intently.
I can tell he's starting to notice.
I clench my jaw slightly.
I try to take another sip.
But that feeling... of rejection... gets stronger.
The spoon hangs in the air for a second.
"What?" I finally say, slightly irritated by his silence.
Samuel shrugs, but doesn't look away from me.
"Aren't you eating?"
"I'm eating." I roll my eyes.
I dip my spoon into the bowl, more determined.
But when I bring it to my mouth again...I stop.
I slowly put my spoon down.
I take a deep breath.
"It's not working," I say, a little louder this time.
Samuel tilts his head slightly.
"What's not working?"
I look at him for a second.
Then at the bowl.
Then back at him.
I rub my stomach gently, not thinking too much.
"No... that," I say simply. I shrug.
"It's like my body decides what it wants and what it doesn't."
Silence.
Samuel looks at me for a long moment.
Then he pushes his chair a little closer to the table.
"Did you throw up?" he asks directly, but without that harsh tone of his old one.
I frown slightly.
"No."
I try to take a bite again.
Only this time..the taste, the texture. .don't work. Worse, I force myself
I press my lips together and put the spoon down faster.
I exhale slowly.
"I just... can't."
Samuel doesn't say anything right away.
He puts his spoon down too.
"Okay," he says simply.
A short answer. No pressure. I look up at him.
A little surprised. He just nods slightly.
"You don't eat if it doesn't work," he continues calmly.
"But you will eat later. Forced."
I lean back in my chair.
I look at the bowl again.
Then at him.
And I nod slightly.
"Yes..."
I rest my palm on my stomach, more slowly this time.
I breathe.
And, even though I don't eat.. that feeling inside... doesn't seem as disturbing anymore.
Rather... it gives me the feeling that I'm not alone in this.
I get up from the table and take my bowl which I put in the fridge.
Then I turn to Samuel and think about whether to tell him or not, but I think I will.
"Samuel" I say and he instantly raises his head at the sound of my voice.
"What is it? Are you sick?" He says panicked and quickly stands up.
"NO. SIT DOWN!" I mention and try to keep myself from laughing.
"Sure?" He asks and raises his eyebrows.
"Sure." I say and cough a little, watching Samuel stare at me "I just..
I want you to help me get the net off the pool.
Maria is coming over and I'll stay with her" I say and turn for a second towards the door where I can see outside.
Samuel gets up almost immediately, but my gaze stops him before he reaches the door.
"I will," he says shortly, placing his empty bowl in my hand.
He doesn't seem to even entertain the idea of refusing.
I frown slightly.
"No.."
But he's already turning.
"You're pregnant," he says calmly, not raising his voice. "It's none of your business."
I clench my jaw.
"Samuel, it's not like I'm going to break if I lift a net.
."
"Idris." His tone becomes firmer, but not harsh.
Just... sure. I stop. I raise an eyebrow.
He looks at me directly. "I'm a werewolf.
So are you, but not as strong as I was a month ago.
" he continues simply. "You're pregnant too.
Leave me alone."
I roll my eyes, but without the nerve I had before.
"You're exaggerating," I mutter.
Samuel tilts his head back a little, then crosses his arms.
"Maybe.
" He takes a step toward the door. "But I'm not taking any chances. "
I watch him.
For a second... I say nothing.
Then I exhale slowly.
"It's just a net," I say more quietly.
Samuel stops in the doorway and turns slightly toward me.
"And you are... something more than 'just Idris' now," he replies.
Those words... don't hit me.
But they don't pass me by either.
I stop.
I look at him.
He relaxes his shoulders a little.
"Stay here," he adds, his tone returning to normal. "You already have enough to handle."
For a moment, I want to insist.
To go with him.
To prove I can.
But the feeling in my stomach.
.. that calm presence... pulls my thought back.
I run my hand over the area, almost reflexively.
I breathe.
And... I nod slightly.
"Okay."
Samuel seems to accept the answer without comment.
He turns and leaves the kitchen.
The door closes behind him.
I'm left alone.
For a few seconds. ..just silence.
I run my hand over my stomach again, more slowly this time.
"It seems..." I murmur, almost to myself, "I can't really pretend it doesn't matter anymore."
A pause.
A small corner of a smile appears.
"Okay...let's see what we do today."
I step outside and the sun's rays hit my arms, making me melt.
Samuel manages to pull down the net and is now standing with his arms on his hips, looking at me.
"I think I want a dip in the pool too. I've waited so long for summer, but now I want spring back," he says, and I wave "ok" at him.
I lie down on the lounger, letting my tank top fall somewhere beside me.
The warm material from the sun touches my skin, but it doesn't bother me.
.. not like it used to.
I close my eyes for a second, exhaling slowly.
The sound of the water in the pool, the rustling of the leaves.
.. everything seems quieter now.
"Seriously. .." Samuel murmurs next to me.
I open one eye and look at him. He's standing there, his arms crossed, looking at me with a slightly surprised expression.
"What?" I ask.
He lowers his gaze, not insistently, but enough for me to know where he's looking.
"Your belly has grown quite a bit for just one month.
"
I frown slightly and instinctively run a hand over my abdomen.
"It's no big deal..." I say, but my voice isn't exactly convincing.
For a second... silence.
I feel that familiar sensation again. The presence.
Calmer now, as if it's reacting to my voice.
.. or Samuel's presence.
I look away.
Samuel doesn't say anything right away.
But he doesn't leave either.
He just..
. stays there.
"Idris..." he says more quietly.
I look up at him. He opens his arms slightly and takes a step closer.
"Can I...?" he asks, more carefully now.
"Can I put my hand on it?"
I tense up instantly.
"What?" I say, a little too quickly. "No.. I mean..."
My heart is pounding a little.
Not because it's dangerous.
But because... it's too personal.
I run a hand over my stomach, almost instinctively protecting it.
Samuel raises his hands slightly, as if to reassure me.
"Hey... it's okay." His voice is calm.
"I'm not doing anything to you. I just..
. wanted to feel."
I swallow hard.
I look at him for a few seconds.
Then I look down.
I breathe slowly.
"...okay," he finally murmurs. "But not too much.
"
Samuel nods immediately, saying nothing else.
He leans down slightly and brings his hand closer to my stomach... slowly. As if afraid that if he moves too quickly, he'll break something.
When he finally places his palm on my stomach... For a second, nothing happens. Then... I feel it. Not physically, but clearly. A reaction.
Very small.
Like a wave of light, passing through me.
I hold my breath involuntarily.
Samuel tilts his head slightly.
"...wow..." he says softly.
I don't realize when.
.. but the corner of his mouth lifts slightly.
He leaves his palm there, without pressing.
He just... holds it.
"It feels...
real." he murmurs.
"Logic..." I whisper.
I just turn my head, feeling my cheeks heat up a little.
Samuel stays for a second longer.
Then he says, in a softer tone:
??"I can't wait to see my grandson.
"
I freeze a little at these words.
Not out of nervousness.
But out of... something harder to explain.
I don't answer right away.
But I don't take his hand either.
"...she's not even born yet," I murmur, but without seeming bothered.
Rather...slightly.
Samuel smiles slightly.
"I know."
And for a few seconds.
.. we stay like this. Quiet. With his hand on my belly. With life growing between us.
The phone rings from the house and he takes his hand and goes to get something, but I don't remember what he whispered.
I get up and quickly go to the kitchen, taking the call.
"I'm outside!!! Open the gate" she screams and I move the phone away from my ear.
"OK. NOW I'M OPENING!" I mutter, still deafened by her voice.
I hang up the call and open the gate on the phone, seeing her on the camera enter excitedly, almost skipping steps.
"She's in," I mutter to myself and go back outside.
"Auntie Cool is home again!" Maria says as soon as she sees me.
She stops suddenly. Her eyebrows furrow slightly.
"...wow."
I frown slightly, not understanding her reaction.
"What?" I ask, leaning relaxedly on the edge of the chaise longue.
Maria doesn't answer immediately.
She puts her bag down and looks me up and down, more intently than usual.
"No... it's not what..." she starts, but stops and puts her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing.
I raise an eyebrow. "What's not what?
"
She rolls her eyes, but smiles broadly.
"You look... different."
"Thanks?
" I say, a little confused.
"No, I mean.
.." she takes a few steps closer to me. "You look.
.. really good."
I look at her, slightly suspicious.
"I knew I looked good," I mutter, but I can't help but smile a little.
Maria laughs briefly, then tilts her head, studying me again.
"No... seriously." her voice becomes more serious, but still filled with admiration.
"You seem... more..." she searches for the right word.
"...quiet and bulging"
I pause for a second.
The corner of my mouth lifts slightly.
"It's possible."
She looks down.
.. and notices.
Her eyes widen slightly.
"...wait." she says softly. "Is that.
..?"
She instinctively moves her hand to my abdomen.
I tense up slightly.
"Maria.." I start, but she stops mid-movement.
She doesn't touch me yet.
Just looks.
She breathes more slowly.
"So big," she whispers, excited.
I nod my head slightly.
"Yes."
For a second, she doesn't say anything.
Then she lowers her hand, but bites her lip lightly, visibly moved.
"This... is crazy." she says softly.
I smile weakly.
"Welcome to my life.
"
Maria laughs softly, then looks up at me again, warmer, more.
.. attentive.
"Can I?" she asks more quietly, pointing to her abdomen.
I look at her for a second.
Then I exhale.
"...yes."
She slowly approaches, just as attentively as Samuel did earlier.
She raises her hand slightly...
and places it over my abdomen.
For a second... nothing.
Then... a subtle reaction.
Too small to be visible to anyone else.
But enough for me.
Maria freezes.
Her eyes widen.
"I felt it." she whispers, sounding like the mother who meets her child after 20 years in the army.
She looks up at me, completely stunned.
"Oh my God.
.. Idris..."
I run a hand through my hair, slightly embarrassed.
"Don't get too used to it."
She laughs softly.
"I won't be able to."
She leaves her hand there for another second.
..then slowly withdraws it, as if she doesn't want to break the moment.
She looks at me again.
This time... with a warm smile.
"You look... like someone who would be a good parent.
"
I look at her for a second.
I don't answer right away.
I just... exhale.
"I hope so." I say "and that's it.
No one touches my belly from now on" I say out loud and I also look at Samuel who has come out of the house with three cocktails.
"You're the boss" Samuel says and we all three laugh, he hands us our drinks and we clink.
Maria raises her glass high and says out loud:
"Let's hope it's Guatrupets!
" She and Samuel laugh and I shake my head no and I hold myself back from laughing too.
---
(An hour later)
The sun is starting to press harder on the yard, and the air is getting heavy, sticky to the skin.
Samuel crosses his arms, sitting by the deck chair, looking around with a slightly tense expression.
Maria, lying on the towel, is absently playing with the rim of a glass.
I... I feel something. Not immediately.
Not clearly. But... in my stomach.
I frown slightly and move my palm over my abdomen, instinctively.
Samuel suddenly raises his head.
He tilts his head slightly, taking a deep breath.
"... do you feel it?"
Maria looks up.
"What?" she says, but her voice is no longer relaxed.
I narrow my eyes slightly.
"No.
" I answer automatically.
But...
my breathing changes.
Smell.
Foreign.
Almost.. . familiar.
But not from here.
Samuel tenses visibly.
He lowers his arms.
"It's not someone from the pack," he says quietly.
Maria sits up slightly.
"What do you mean it's not.
.."
One step.
One more.
The sound of footsteps is clearly audible, coming from the outside entrance, the one that goes around the house so you don't have to go inside the house to get to the large backyard.
The tension rises instantly.
Samuel takes a step forward, his position subtly shifting.
Protective.
Instinctively.
I get up from the lounge chair.
My breathing changes.
"Who.." Maria begins.
But she stops.
Because...he appears.
Cedric.
He stops right at the edge of the pool area.
His gaze quickly sweeps across the yard.
Over Samuel.
Over Maria.
And then. ..over me.
Time seems to slow down.
For a second...
no one says anything.
Just the wind.
The water.
My breathing.
Cedric takes a step forward.
"Idris.." he begins.
But he doesn't finish.
A sharp voice interrupts him.
"Who are you and what are you doing near my children?"
My father's voice echoes from behind me.
Cold.
Authoritarian.
Dangerous.
The door to the house suddenly opens behind us.
My father steps out, his gaze fixed directly on Cedric.
His stance is rigid.
Ready to attack.
The air becomes heavy.
Samuel holds his position, but I feel him tense next to me.
Maria holds her breath.
I... clench my jaw.
"Dad..." I mutter softly, but I don't turn around completely.
Cedric raises his hands slightly, in a calm gesture.
But his eyes are not calm.
"I'm not here for conflict," he says, his voice low.
My father takes another step forward.
"It doesn't look like it."
The tension builds.
One wrong step...and everything explodes.
Cedric shifts his gaze back to me.
For a second.
..his eyes change.
"I came for Idris.
"
Silence.
Dead.
My father tilts his head slightly.
"Then you chose the wrong way to enter.
"
And I think my father now sees my lover as more than a stranger. ..he's a threat.