~Chapter 27~
Idris POV:
(October 14 — 05:31 PM)
I don’t know why I expected it to be different.
Maybe more… spectacular.
Maybe more “momentary.”
But when the door slowly closes behind us and the key turns with a small click, all I feel is silence.
Real.
Not the kind that presses.
Not the kind that comes after the storm and makes you think about what you’ve lost.
No.
This is… silence that remains.
That breathes.
That holds you.
I stand still in the hallway for a few seconds, Evelyn in my arms, as if if I move too quickly I’ll break something.
Everything is the same.
The shoes thrown by the door.
Cedric’s jacket on the back.
That familiar smell of home, clean, slightly sweet, a little of his perfume.
But I’m not the same anymore.
And neither is my world.
I look down.
Evelyn is sleeping.
Her little head resting in the crook of my arm, her breathing calm, rhythmic.
So quiet it makes me want to not breathe at all, just so I don’t disturb her.
“…Idris.” Cedric’s voice comes from beside me.
Calm.
Low.
I turn slightly.
He’s close.
Too close.
And for a second… we just look at each other.
His eyes analyze me.
Not in that harsh way.
Not critical.
But…attentive.
Like he’s checking to see if I’m whole.
If I’m still here.
I swallow hard.
“We’re home…” I say quietly, like I’m still not sure.
He smiles a little.
Tired. But real. “Yes.”
He looks at me for another second, then lifts his hand and touches my cheek lightly.
His fingers are warm.
Familiar.
He pushes a strand of hair out of my face, slowly.
“You did so good…” he whispers.
His voice is different.
Softer than I’ve ever heard it.
My lip trembles slightly.
“It was…” I swallow. “A lot.”
He nods.
"I'm trying to know the feeling"
And I really know he does.
Not completely.
But enough so that I don't feel alone in this.
He lets his hand slide down my neck, then the back of my neck, pulling me slightly closer.
He doesn't force it.
He doesn't rush it.
He just… brings me in.
His forehead rests against mine.
"You're here." he murmurs.
I close my eyes.
I breathe.
"Yes..."
"Come on," he says softly. "Let's go to the room."
I nod.
My steps are slow but sure.
He stays by my side.
He doesn't touch me constantly, but he's there.
Enough so that if I lose my balance…
he'll catch me.
We enter the bedroom.
The light is warm.
The curtains are half-drawn.
The bed… exactly as I left it.
But it doesn't feel the same place anymore.
Because now… it's not just me here anymore.
Cedric pulls the blanket back gently.
“Wait,” he says softly.
I move closer and sit carefully on the edge of the bed, holding Evelyn close to my chest.
I move slowly, as if every gesture counts.
As if everything is fragile.
Because…
it is.
Cedric sits in front of me, crouching for a second.
He looks me up and down.
And he says nothing.
But his eyes say it all.
I see them.
The worry.
The fatigue.
And something new.
Something that wasn’t there before.
I reach out with my free hand and lightly touch his cheek.
“Hey…” I whisper.
He closes his eyes for a second, leaning against my palm.
“Thank you…” he replies.
And for a moment… it’s just us.
Like before.
But not really.
Because between us… there’s her.
Cedric looks up at Evelyn.
He changes immediately.
His jaw relaxes.
His gaze softens completely.
He raises his hand and gently touches her little foot, across the blanket.
“She’s so small…” he murmurs.
I smile weakly.
“Yes…”
I look at her. Then at him.
“She looks like you.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Really?”
I nod.
“The nose… the mouth…” I swallow lightly.
“The look.”
He sighs softly, almost a laugh.
“Poor kid…”
I nudge him lightly with my knee.
“Hey.”
He smiles.
But it’s the kind of smile that comes with emotion.
No kidding.
He slowly gets up and sits next to me on the bed.
Close.
Very close.
His hand automatically reaches my back.
Pulls me gently towards him.
I don’t resist.
My head ends up resting on his shoulder.
Evelyn between us.
Perfect.
“Are you still sick?” he asks softly.
I nod.
“A little…”
“Pain?”
“Yes.” Pause. “But it’s okay.”
He tightens his arm around me slightly.
“Not everything has to be ‘okay’ right now.”
I close my eyes.
“I know…”
Silence falls over us.
But it’s good.
It’s not empty.
It’s full.
I move my head slightly and look at him.
He’s already looking at me.
As if he hasn’t stopped.
“What?” I ask softly.
He doesn’t answer right away.
He just lifts his hand and touches my lips with his thumb.
Very gently.
“You’re still here…” he says.
My breath stops for a second.
It’s not about me.
Not just.
It’s about everything.
About how close I came to not being “here” anymore.
I bite my lip lightly.
“Yes…”
He takes a deep breath.
And, he moves closer.
Not hurriedly.
Not intensely.
His lips touch mine.
Gently. Calmly. Unhurriedly.
It’s a different kiss. Not like before.
Not like the ones full of fire or need.
This is… gratitude. Confirmation.
“I’m here”
I answer without words.
We stay like this for a few seconds.
Maybe longer.
It doesn’t matter.
Because time doesn’t matter anymore.
When he pulls away, his forehead remains pressed against mine.
Our breaths mingle.
“I love you.” he whispers.
My breath trembles slightly.
“I know…” He smiles weakly. “Me too.”
He shifts his gaze to Evelyn again.
He runs his fingers lightly over her small hand.
“Hey…” he says softly. “Welcome home.”
I look at them.
At both of them.
And something inside me… settles completely.
After I managed to feed her and tried to put her to sleep, Cedric got up from the bed.
"Let's get dinner ready, we have guests coming" he says and holds out a hand to me.
I look at him confused, but I accept his hand and get up walking with him to the kitchen.
"Guests?" I finally ask when we reach the Kitchen.
He turns to me and smiles a little, comes towards me and puts his hands around my waist. He rests his head on my shoulder.
"Yes" he murmurs. He raises his head and looks at me now, into my eyes.
"Your family, Maria with her girlfriend and she insisted that Elian come with Otis and Rowan too"
"Maria's girlfriend.
...Poppy?" I ask and he nods, moves a hand from my waist to my face and caresses my cheek.
"I haven't seen her before" I continue.
"Then you'll see her today," Cedric said and gave me a kiss on the cheek before heading to the fridge.
I watch him for a few seconds.
The way he moves around the kitchen…naturally.
As if nothing has changed.
And yet, everything has.
The fridge opening, the cold light falling on him, his hands taking things out without thinking too much…
It’s comforting. Real.
I rest my hip lightly on the counter, still a little dizzy, still feeling my body…
different.
Empty.
But not empty in that bad way.
Another empty.
One that made room for her.
“You shouldn’t have invited everyone…” I murmur softly.
It’s not reproach.
It’s just… long.
Cedric pauses for a second, then closes the fridge with his knee and turns to me.
“I know.” He approaches slowly.
He wipes his hands on a towel, then sets it aside.
“But they wanted to be here.” Pause.
He looks at me. “And… I think you need this too.”
I frown slightly.
“From chaos?” He smiles a little.
“From people.” I take a deep breath.
I don’t answer right away.
Because…
he’s right.
Even though part of me just wants to hide in my room, with Evelyn, away from it all.
The other part… wants to share this.
“…ok.” I finally whisper.
Cedric nods, satisfied, but doesn’t say “I told you so.”
He’s not like that.
Instead, he raises his hand and touches my waist lightly, checking.
“Are you sure you can sit?”
I let out a small laugh.
“I’m not made of glass.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“After you’ve passed… I could argue with you.
”
I slap his chest lightly with my palm.
“Cedric.”
He smiles.
And for a second…
it’s him again.
Not tense.
Not tense.
Just… him.
He turns to the counter and starts clearing out plates.
“I’m going to make something simple.
”
“You don’t have to cook…
” I say immediately.
“I’m not cooking.
” he replies without looking at me. “I’m assembling.
”
A smile escapes my lips.
I watch him move.
Fast.
Efficient.
But every now and then…
he glances at me.
As if checking.
Constantly.
I push my body off the counter and slowly approach him.
“Let me help you.”
He stops.
He looks at me.
“Idris…”
“I’m not sitting down like a princess.
” I interrupt.
He raises an eyebrow.
“You’re right.”
“I don’t want to.
”
Pause.
We look at each other.
Then he sighs slightly, but smiles.
“Fine.”
He hands me a knife.
“Cut this.”
I look down.
Sausage.
“Wow. Big responsibility.”
“Take your time.”
“I’m not in a hurry.”
I start cutting slowly.
My movements are slower than usual.
But it’s… okay.
Normal.
Cedric moves past me, close, sometimes touching me lightly as he passes.
He doesn’t pull away.
He doesn’t create distance.
And neither do I.
“How long do we have?” I ask quietly.
“About…” he looks at his watch. “twenty minutes.”
My heart beats a little faster.
“Okay…”
Silence.
But not uncomfortable.
Just full of… anticipation.
Then, a loud noise.
From the room.
She cries.
Freeze.
Cedric looks up too. We look at each other for a second
I put the knife down immediately.
"I'll go." he says.
But I'm already moving.
"No."
My voice is faster than my thought.
I pause for a second, then look at him.
"I want to."
Cedric nods slowly.
"Okay."
Don't stop me.
Don't insist.
Just... let me.
I turn and walk towards the bedroom, my steps instinctive now.
I’m no longer unsure.
They’re no longer hesitant.
When I enter, I see her.
Evelyn moves gently in her crib.
Small sounds.
She’s not crying anymore.
Just… searching.
I slowly approach.
“Angel…” I whisper.
My voice changes automatically.
Softer.
Warmer.
I pick her up carefully.
So light that it scares me every time.
But also… it calms me down.
She calms down almost immediately when I bring her close to my chest.
Her little head presses against mine.
My breathing slows involuntarily.
“It’s okay…
” I murmur.
I don’t know if I’m saying it to her.
Or to me.
I rock her gently.
“I’m here…
”
And in that moment, I realize.
It's not just about us anymore.
It's about her.
And about the fact that. .. I'm here for her.
I hear footsteps behind me.
Cedric.
He doesn't say anything.
He stops next to me.
He looks at me.
At me.
Then at her.
"You look good like this.
.." he murmurs.
I turn my head slightly towards him.
"Like what?"
He smiles.
Slowly.
"Like a mommy."
My breath stops for a second.
I look down at Evelyn.
Then I close my eyes for a moment.
And yes... she's right.
---
The front door opens before I can say anything.
A wave of voices comes in with the cold air from outside.
Laughter. Footsteps. Energy.
Life.
I stop in the middle of the room, with Evelyn pressed against my chest, and my body reacts instantly, part of me wants to retreat, to protect her, to keep her just for me.
But the other…stays.
Because I know the voices.
“Where is she?!” Samuel’s voice rings out first, strong, almost impatient.
“Samuel, give them a second to breathe…” my father hears, calmer, but not much less curious.
“No, no, no, I want to see my granddaughter every day.”
A small, tired smile escapes me.
Cedric sighs softly next to me, but he’s not bothered.
Just… amused.
“That’s it.” he murmurs.
Before I can even respond, they appear in the doorway.
All of them.
They stop.
It’s that kind of moment when no one says anything anymore.
Because they see me.
Me. On her.
And something changes in the atmosphere.
Maria is the first to breathe again. She puts her hand to her mouth.
"Oh, God..." she whispers.
Beside her, a girl I've never seen before, Poppy, instinctively grabs her arm.
Her eyes are big, bright.
"She's.
.. little..."
Otis whistles softly, but without irony.
"Wow..."
Rowan just nods, silently, with a small, rare smile.
Elian... doesn't say anything. But I see him.
How he accesses me. Differently than usual.
No jokes. No sarcasm.
Just... respect.
My mother is the last to approach.
Slowly.
As if every step counts.
She stops in front of me and says nothing for a second.
She just looks at me. Then at Evelyn.
And something in her eyes…
gives way.
“Can I…?” she asks softly.
I swallow. My heart beats faster.
I look at Cedric for a split second.
He nods slightly.
I turn back to my mother.
“Yes…” I whisper.
I move closer and gently place her in her arms.
My chest tightens instantly.
Because it’s the first time I’ve let her go.
The first time she’s not stuck to me.
But my mother holds her so carefully that…
it calms me.
“Evelyn…” she says softly, like a promise.
Samuel appears next to her almost immediately.
"Let me see it too!"
"Be patient."
"Mom says, not taking her eyes off her.
Little giggles break through the room.
The tension breaks.
And suddenly.
.. it's not overwhelming anymore.
It's warm.
"Maria comes closer too, with small steps.
"Can I touch her?"
"If you don't scare her.
.."
"I mumble, almost without realizing it.
"She smiles broadly. "I promise."
"He moves his finger lightly to her little hand.
Evelyn moves. He clenches her fingers.
"Maria makes a small, excited sound.
"
"Jesus Christ, did you see?!"
"Poppy laughs softly next to her.
"She already likes you."
"Of course.
"
"Maria says, quickly wiping a tear.
"She has good taste."
"Otis comes over, looking over his shoulder.
"So... is this mini you?"
"Watch your words," Cedric says calmly from behind.
"It's mini me, but a girl version.
" But he's not serious.
Otis raises his hands.
"Okay, okay. She's perfect."
Rowan nods.
"She is."
Samuel, meanwhile, can't hold it in any longer. "Okay. It's my turn now."
Mom sighs, but offers it to him carefully.
I see him.
How he takes it.
Big.
Strong. But at that moment… so carefully that he seems like a different person.
He looks at her and… is silent..
“…she’s so pretty and white” he finally says.
A laugh escapes me through tears. “Yes…”
“But look at me…” he continues slowly.
His words hit me differently.
Because it’s not just about him.
It’s about family.
About all of us.
Cedric approaches me quietly and puts his hand on my back. Lightly. Steady.
He pulls me a little closer to him.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
I nod.
But it’s not just “okay”.
It’s more.
I look around.
At everyone.
At the way they look at her. At the way their voices become lower without them realizing it.
How… no one is in a hurry anymore.
Everything slows down around her.
And in that moment I understand.
I didn't lose anything.
I didn't make a mistake choosing this.
I didn't run away into a life that isn't mine.
This… is my life.
I rest my head lightly on Cedric's shoulder.
I breathe.
Deeply.
For the first time without weight.
"...I'm happy." I whisper.
He doesn't answer right away.
He just tightens his arm around me a little.
"I know."
I turn my gaze to Evelyn.
Small. Quiet. Surrounded by everyone.
My daughter.
And everything... settles.
THE END