Chapter 13 Sawyer
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SAWYER
I’m already regretting this.
I wait a moment after I knock on the door. There’s still time to run. You can walk away. You can go to Hunter’s instead. I don’t know why I didn’t do that. I need to talk and Hunter’s the best.
Yet here I am on the doorstep of a red flag with freckles.
I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m not. Noah is just the easiest to talk to about stuff like this. He may be a chaotic ball of sunshine, but in general, Noah makes me feel comfortable, and right now I need to talk to someone about this.
I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.
I can’t stop thinking about the other morning.
I’ve texted Aiden a couple of times but he hasn’t texted back. Is he ignoring me? We’ve been talking on and off all week and now it’s radio silence. He looked scared when he left my apartment.
That kiss. The way he touched me.
It felt unreal.
I almost give up before the door swings open. “Um . . .” My eyes widen, taking in Noah. “Is this a bad time?”
Noah stands in the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that are clearly not his own as if he just tugged them on. Jamie’s, I’m assuming, by how they swim on him. And . . . a doctor’s lab coat.
He has a clipboard in his hand. “Good evening, Bakery Booty. Do you have an appointment?”
“Um. Are you busy?”
“Well, you can tell by my stethoscope that I am very busy, yes.”
“It looks like a pacifier shaped like a penis from a bachelorette party.”
He blinks at me, face flushed and green eyes bright. “Are you questioning my credentials?”
“Questioning every step I took to get here.” I shake my head. “I’m going to regret asking, but what are you doing?”
Noah opens his mouth then closes it. He thinks for a moment.
“I think I’ve had some real character growth since we met in college.
The old me would have said giving my sexy boyfriend a very thorough prostate exam.
However, the new and improved mature me respects my client’s privacy and is going to say, it’s date night. ”
“Great job, babe. Your growth is incredible.” I hear Jamie before he opens the front door wider. Jamie’s wearing a pair of sweats, and by the flushed sheen of his tan skin I can see I’ve definitely interrupted something.
“I told you to stay in character! I had it handled,” Noah hisses.
Jamie gives Noah a tight stare. “Put your scalpel away. Date night’s over.”
Noah inhales sharply through his nose. His brows climb up his forehead, his mouth parting. “My scalpel?” Shaking his head, Noah takes off the pacifier. “Sawyer, hold my stethoscope. I need to kick my client in the shin.”
He whips it over his head and hands it to me. “No, thank you.” Jamie glares down at Noah, then his lips slip into a teasing smirk and he kisses the bridge of his nose.
Jamie cups Noah’s face and his temper melts instantly. “We have friends here. You can violate my HIPAA rights another time.”
Noah stomps his foot then reaches for me as I dodge his hands. “No. I know where your hands have been.”
Noah frowns. “I am a doctor! I always wash my hands.”
Jamie sighs. “Come in, Sawyer.”
“I don’t want to.”
Jamie’s hard eyes land on me. “I’m a patient guy, but you stopped my boyfriend mid-procedure, so I’m a little frustrated if you understand. Get in the house.” Headlights flash into the driveway before tires crunch. “Goddammit,” he whispers. “You are never finishing that exam tonight.”
Noah gives a subtle shake of his head.
“Is that Cam?” I ask.
Jamie nods, stepping out onto the porch and folding his tattooed arms over his chest.
Cam shuts off the car and steps out. “Shit, sorry. Didn’t know you had company.” He steps closer, confusion masking his face in real time. “Do I want to ask about the doctor’s coat?”
“Best not,” I say.
“What’s going on?” Jamie gives him a one-armed hug as he comes up the steps.
“Hey, Sawyer. I wanted to know if you’d like to hang out for a bit,” he says to Jamie. “I’m going to an underground fight.” He smirks at me. “Aiden is fighting.”
“Fighting?” Why is he fighting?
“Yeah,” Cam says. “We box all the time. There’s an underground fight happening down on Elmont at one of the biker bars. He told me about it earlier. I told him I’d go.”
“Where’s my sweet baby Bo?” Noah asks.
“Home. He wanted no part in it.” Cam looks at us. “You guys want to come? I didn’t want to go alone, but I promised I’d be there.”
“Is it like one of those places where we need a code word. Like tentacle or ball gag?”
“Uh no. Just gotta go downstairs.”
Why would Aiden do that? I really wanted to talk to Noah, but this is my chance to see Aiden. I want to talk to him.
“Sure, yeah, I want to go. What about you, babe?” Jamie asks Noah.
“An underground fight at a biker bar? Count me in!” He looks down at his coat. “I guess I need to change.”
“Go get changed.” Jamie kisses the top of his head. “Let me shower first. I’ll be quick.”
“No problem. I’ll wait out here,” I say. It’s a nice night and I’m afraid of stepping into their home right now.
“I’ll stay out here with him,” Cam says. “No rush. We have plenty of time.”
Noah and Jamie leave us in silence. I like Cam, but I’ve never really hung out with him alone. I did go on a date with his boyfriend last year, but he’s never held that against me.
“So . . .” Cam smirks, folding his arms over his broad chest. He’s a big guy, but the size is all for show. He’s a gentle giant. “Eyes got pretty wide when I mentioned Aiden’s name.”
Again, it’s like a pulse beating beneath my skin. “I came over to talk to Noah.”
“Yeah?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“You and Aiden have gotten pretty close,” he hedges.
“I guess.”
“He’s not as moody now when he comes to the gym. In fact, some would say he looks pretty happy.”
That snags my attention.
I don’t understand why people call him moody. I don’t see it. Whenever we’re together, Aiden makes me laugh. He’s fun to talk to. Funny in a dry way. He does it without trying.
“I um . . .” I debate whether to ask, but my embarrassment is overridden by wanting to talk to someone about this. “How much do you know about Aiden?”
Cam thinks for a moment then shrugs. “Not much, honestly. We’ve been boxing together for a while now. He’s fun to piss off. Gets really zesty. He’s a good listener, though. Let’s me ramble about a lot of shit. Great listener.”
“Does he talk about anything personal? Like his home life or anything?”
Cam shakes his head. “He’s secretive about a lot of stuff.” He smirks. “So, you like him?”
“No.” I swallow, looking away. “I don’t know.”
“Uh-huh. Isn’t that like, against the rules? Is it why you hired him?”
“No. I hired him because he needed a job and I needed someone to help me. I was a little afraid no one else would apply.”
“Isn’t that like some sort of power imbalance thing?”
“I don’t know if you’re aware, Cam, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
” Before redoing my bakery, I was just soaking in the misery of grief.
Now I have something to distract me. “I don’t know if you’d exactly consider it a power dynamic when I feel powerless.
” I sigh. “This is the first time since my mom died that I’m actually happy and I don’t even know why.
” Aiden has been clear about how he feels about real relationships. “I’m really happy.”
“Because of Aiden.”
I think for a moment. “Maybe.” I debate telling him this. “We kissed.”
“Oh shit, really?”
I nod. “Then he freaked out and hasn’t talked to me since.”
“That sounds about right. He’s very spicy. He acts like he doesn’t give a shit when I can tell he does.”
“It’s a mess.”
“Kisses change everything.” He nods.
“My head’s a mess most days, but for the first time in a while I have something to look forward to and I don’t even know what it is.
” I feel it, though. That feeling deep in my belly that spreads through my chest when I see him.
“The feeling is right, but the man is wrong. Aiden thinks love is stupid.”
Cam barks out a laugh that startles me. “Believe me, I know.” He shakes his head.
“He’s a complicated dude.” Cam thinks for a moment.
“The thing is, I think he just pretends not to give a shit. There’s something going on with him.
He comes to the gym and pretends he doesn’t want company, but I clock it when he’s upset if I can’t join him. He tries to hide it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think Aiden’s a very lonely, complicated guy. That’s what I think.” He lifts off the railing. “Who knows, though. Maybe he’s just an asshole.”
“Okay!” The door swings open. Noah is dressed in a sparkly sheer tank top, tight-fitting black jeans, and black biker boots. “Don’t I look like a badass?” He poses for us. He’s wearing smoky eye shadow, and his curls are styled messily on his head.
Jamie nods, glaring at us from behind him.
“Uh, yeah. Yes. Totally badass.” I give him a tight smile.
“Real dope, Noah.” Cam smothers a laugh. “Real cool.”
Jamie glares at Cam before he loops his arm around Noah. “Come on, let’s go.”
We walk into the bar. The noise is deafening but it’s not at all like in the movies.
There are tons of people hanging around outside in the parking lot, and the wooden building is bleeding music from its walls. “And how did you find out about this place?” Jamie asks Cam.
“Aiden told me had a fight tonight, and I told him I’d be by to watch. Dude’s a beast. I can’t imagine how he’ll look fighting someone for real. I bet the money is sick too.”
“Money?”
He nods. “Depending on the fighter and how good they are, the money can be great.”
“Have you ever done it?”
Cam laughs. “Oh, hell no. I box for fun. I think Aiden does it because he needs it—the money and fighting someone. Bro is tense as fuck.”
Again, I don’t see that. Not when he’s with me at least.
We walk inside and Cam heads to the bar and whispers something to the bartender. She nods, pointing toward a door in the back. “Come on.”
We follow Cam to the door and down the rickety wooden steps. “Oh my god.” Noah’s mouth drops when we step into the basement. A massive makeshift ring sits in the middle. “This is just like that motorcycle book I read last week.”
“The harem one?”
Noah nods. “The dirty things that probably happen in that ring.”
Jamie loops his arm around him with a smile. We follow Cam, who makes a path for us until we’re in front. There’s a fight on now that looks like it’s almost over by the way one of the men is staggering. His opponent lifts his hands. Taped. No gloves. Then punches him.
His opponent goes down. The referees call it and the other guy grins, raising his hands. “No gloves?”
Cam shakes his head. “I don’t know how this whole thing works. We use gloves at the gym, but I can tell Aiden’s no stranger to fighting.”
Everything else Cam says gets drowned out when I see him.
Aiden dips under the rope in a pair of black gym shorts. His hands are taped like the last guy. No shirt. The deep tan of his skin gleams with sweat. I wonder if this is the only time he’s fought tonight. It’s very hot.
In here.
The basement.
It’s very hot in the basement.
I look at him. His face is stony, still. Nothing like the other night when I had him under me.
This man is lethal.
Cam is still talking, but my entire focus is on Aiden.
In the ring he moves like a cat while his opponent joins him. The ref reads out the few rules they do have. No biting, kicking. No hits to the eyes or balls. In the ring he moves like a predator.
Shoulders rolling. Sizing up. Muscles bunching.
Each movement is fluid. His jaw is hard, clenched, his black hair damp. Sweat drips off him. The crowd roars around us, but all I see is him.
Then his eyes drift. Cam is waving maniacally at him, but his gaze lands on me. And stays. “Holy shit,” Noah whispers. “He’s eye fucking the shit out of you.”
“Shut up.” I laugh nervously, but I can’t look away.
Which costs Aiden.
His opponent snaps him in the jaw and he stumbles. He shakes it off, raising his arms and weaving. Every movement is sharp with intention, every punch controlled in a way that lets me know Aiden’s no stranger to being in a ring.
Sweat streaks down his temple, the lights above only adding to the stifling heat down here. I’m glad I’m wearing a tank top. His opponent catches him in the jaw.
Cheers rise around us with every hit. Some boo Aiden. A lot of them cheer when he gets the upper hand, like they’re just cheering for whoever is winning. He jabs, clocking the other guy in the face, then looks toward me.
A tiny smile slips onto his face.
Or maybe I imagine it.
Either way it costs him, as his opponent jabs him in the ribs. Fear rushes down my spine. He stumbles back. “Fuck him up, Dante!” I hear someone yell.
I shove my shaking hands into my pockets, my heartbeat jackhammering in my chest. Aiden shakes it off and that’s when I see it. It’s like some sort of shadow covering him. Some demon he summons. His eyes go dark, narrowed on his opponent.
His fist slams into his jaw.
The fighter holds his hands up but they’re no use against Aiden’s onslaught.
Jaw. Cheek. Ribs. Aiden is seething, searching for a weak spot.
Then he finds it, pummeling him until he jabs him hard in the face. His opponent nearly trips backward. I can’t look away. Aiden slams one last shot and the guy goes down. The referee calls it, grabbing Aiden’s arm and raising it.
The crowd loses it.
A tiny, relieved smile leaves me. Holy shit, that was crazy.
Aiden’s eyes sweep the crowd and land on me.
Everything inside me freezes as his lips grow into a slow smirk.
It’s clear Aiden’s a lethal fighter, but deadlier still is the look in his eyes as they morph and melt into something with more heat and desire than I’ve ever felt in my life.
My skin buzzes with some kind of feeling.
The crowd around us roars with excitement, but I can’t look away. I know Cam said he did this for the money, or the release, or whatever his reasons are, but with Aiden’s eyes on me, it feels like he fought the match just for me.