Chapter 15 Aiden
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
AIDEN
I click the button.
The treadmill speeds up.
Not fast enough.
I hit it again.
Then again.
And then one more time.
My feet are pounding against the belt. I’m dripping sweat. Breathing hard.
It’s not enough.
It’s been a few days, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Ivan has been on my ass. I told him I haven’t found the stupid fucking elephant. If he wants it so goddamn bad, he can ransack that place and find it himself.
Just the thought of that twists my gut.
But it begs the question of why he hasn’t. He’s being . . . patient, almost to the point of paranoia, and I don’t know why. Koda’s been weird lately too, but he was always a little weird to begin with. It’s almost like I’m on the outside of some secret no one’s shared yet.
I hit the button again.
I’m barely able to keep up.
The belt hums loudly.
His mouth. His eyes. His arms.
The way he held me. We talked for hours, just the two of us, naked, kissing, and talking. I nearly fell asleep. Then images of Koda finding me ass naked in the back seat of my car made me pull away and take him home.
Which I really didn’t want to do.
I’ve never been touched by someone like that. Hugs, kisses, it’s all stupid. It’s distracting.
I hit the button again.
“Whoa.” Cam comes over and hits the button a few times, slowing my machine.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I demand.
“You’re going to fly off this thing, man. Chill. Why are you trying to set fire to the wall with your glare? You look pissed.”
Do I? Frustrated. Yes.
I hit the button and wait for the machine to slow to a stop. I’m heaving, breaths labored, and angrier than ever.
“Fuck off.”
I get off the machine and wipe it down, walking to the hamper and chucking the towel in. I scoop my drawstring bag up and head to the showers.
I’m dripping now.
The slow crawl of sweat down my spine is pissing me off more.
“What’s going on?” Cam follows but I ignore him.
What is he going to do, follow me into the showers?
I open the door. It rattles off the wall, and I march to the back, finding a stall.
I take my towel out of the bag and hang it up.
I do laundry once a week at the local laundromat, and I have a couple of spare towels in the trunk of my car.
I also have a couple of pairs of dress pants and shirts, and a few spare gym clothes I bought when we moved.
If I didn’t have the gym, I’d go insane.
Looks like I’m going insane with the gym.
I take off my sweaty clothes and put them in a spare plastic bag I pulled out of my bag. Then I step under the hot spray and shut my eyes and scrub my hair. I wash my body. I just want this to stop. I can’t take it. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.
I have to work tomorrow.
I could break in instead, and steal it myself right now. Hell, I could tell him what I’m doing, and he’d hate me for lying then never want to see me again. Maybe I should do that.
Why don’t I want to?
It’s not that I don’t want to tell him. I do. I want to confess everything, but I’m afraid of the road that might take me down. At the end of the day, this is for my sister. Find the statue, then Ivan gives me freedom.
Only, I don’t believe him. I don’t. If there’s a situation to manipulate, Ivan will be right there to see it happen.
I rinse and shut the water off, then I towel dry and slip into a clean pair of gym shorts. Leaving my shirt off, I walk out of the stall, startling when Cam is standing right outside the showers. “So, what’s wrong?”
“Cam. Go look in a mirror. Take a good look. That’s what’s wrong. Leave me alone!”
“Come on, man. I know something’s wrong.” He follows me to the sink, and I reach into my bag to find my toothpaste and toothbrush.
“What are you doing?”
I look at him, shaking my head and brushing my teeth. “The fuck does it look like?”
“Can I ask why you always work out at night?”
“Because that’s when I fucking do it. Happy?”
He shrugs. “Can I ask another question?”
“No.”
“I’m going to ask anyway.” And I’m going to punch him. “Are you staying in your car?”
Cold spreads through my veins. “What?”
“No judgement at all. I promise. I’m just wondering. You shower every single time, and like . . . that’s not weird, some people don’t want to wait until they get home, but like . . . you do it every single day without fail.”
“Cam—”
“And you wash your face, brush your teeth . . . I see—”
“Cam—”
Cam lowers his voice. “Do you need help?”
I whirl on him. “Please stop talking.” I glare at him. “Please.” I clear my throat. “I need to go.”
“Are you in trouble?” I glare at him. “I see the scars on your back. They look like—”
I whirl to face him, inches from his face. “Shut the fuck up, Cam. Just shut up. You have no clue what the fuck is going on with me!”
While I’m seething, his face is a mask of pity. I want to wipe it away. “Aiden.” His soft tone pisses me off. It makes me want to punch him. “I understand, okay.”
“Stop—”
“My father used to beat me,” he says quickly, making my mouth close. He nods. “He used to hurt me a lot. Belts, spoons, whatever he could use. I see it, and if that’s what’s going on—”
“It’s not.”
“Then I understand,” he finishes. “I cut off all contact with him, eventually.” He smiles sadly.
“Being with Bowen has changed the way I see things, and I don’t want a relationship with someone who uses me and makes me feel guilty about their own neglect and abuse. ” He swallows. “But you didn’t ask.”
“You’re right.” I glare. “I didn’t.”
“Well, I just want you to know I’d understand. Okay? I get it.” I think he’s done but he keeps opening his mouth. “Do you want to come back with—”
“No.” I grab my bag and shove the toothbrush and toothpaste inside. “I need to go home.”
I push past him without a word, needing air.
Since the night I lay in the back seat with Sawyer, it’s felt impossibly small. Which is stupid. There’s not much room back here, but it’s wide enough to comfortably sleep on my side.
Or next to a pretty boy with shining eyes.
I’m going to gouge my eyes out.
Instead, I roll onto my side and grab my phone from the floor. My fingers move before my brain realizes what I’m doing as I pull up the picture of Sawyer I took for his phone contact. I snap back when I see it light up.
Why is he calling? “Uh, hello?”
“Hey, sorry, I hope you weren’t asleep.”
“It’s only eight.”
“Yeah, I know,” he laughs. “Sorry um, just uh . . . I just wanted to ask if you can come in tomorrow.”
“Yeah, no problem. I can do that.”
“I just have a lot to do. What are you doing now?”
“Oh, I uh, just got home from the gym.”
“How often do you go?”
“Uh, every day.”
“Every day?” He laughs. “Wow. Health conscious.”
There’s nothing else to fucking do. I’ve even resorted to taking some of the dance workouts just to fill my time. At least I get my money’s worth.
“I just like it,” I say.
“I go a couple of times a week with Hunter. My best friend. When I get time. You go to Cam’s gym, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never seen you there.”
That’s because I go at night. Cam works one till nine two days out of the week and is always bothering me. “I work out late. Before I go to bed.”
“Are you getting ready for bed now?” he asks softly.
“Yeah.”
“Have you thought about the other night?”
It’s all I’ve been thinking about. “Yeah.”
Sawyer makes a sound over the phone, almost like a groan. Heat strokes my stomach, those things I’ve been trying to avoid now growing louder. I can’t shut it off. “Don’t do that.”
“What, Aiden?”
“Those sounds.”
“What sounds?” Again. Slow heat pools in my core.
“You know what sounds.”
Sawyer does it again. A soft hum, then he laughs a little. “What’s the matter, Aiden? Thinking about the other night?”
“I haven’t stopped.”
“Where are you now?”
“In bed,” I say too quickly.
“In bed thinking about the other night, huh?” Sawyer sighs. I wonder if he’s in bed too. “I haven’t stopped either,” he confesses.
A thick pause settles between us. “Tell me,” I say softly.
“Tell you what, Aiden?” He waits. “Tell you about how good you felt and tasted?” I reach down, grabbing my growing cock. “I wish I had you here, spread out on my bed and mine to do whatever I wanted with.”
“Y-yeah.” I squeeze then slip my hand under the band. “What would you do?”
“We wouldn’t rush,” he whispers. “I’d touch you slow. Kiss you. Make you feel crazy with the need to come. I haven’t stopped thinking about how you taste. How you felt against me. In my mouth.”
“You liked it?”
“I loved it,” he whispers. “When you came, your lips parted.” I stroke my cock, listening to his voice, and pleasure curls through my stomach.
I think back to that night with him between my thighs.
I close my eyes, making the memories brighter, his soft pants through the phone adding to the intense rush of heat I’m feeling. “Are you touching yourself?”
“Yes.”
“I want to see,” he moans.
Freeze. “I uh . . . I can’t. Not right now.”
I think he’s going to press further, but instead he lets out a moan. “Don’t stop.”
“Are you naked?” I ask. Fuck, I want to see so bad, but I don’t want him asking why I’m in my car doing this. The tiny breaths on the other end push me toward the edge. “Touch yourself for me.”
“Yeah. Fuck, Aiden. It’s not as good without your hands on me.” He moans. “I like to take my time, kiss every inch of you.”
My breaths pick up the faster my hand moves. “Feels so good,” I breathe.
“I’m going to come.”
“Me too.” Warmth spills over my fist as I groan, and once I’m spent, I sag back onto the seat then roll to grab a shirt from the floor and wipe my hand. I get up and reach through the middle, grabbing the wet wipes in my glove compartment to clean my hands properly.
Laundry tomorrow, then.
“Wow,” he laughs on the other end of the line. I hear water running, and the thought of Sawyer walking around naked in his apartment makes it nearly impossible not to head over there.
The line hums with everything we’re not saying. “I should probably head to bed soon.”
“Oh.” Sawyer clears his throat. “Yeah. Of course.”
I need space. I need to clear my head.
I need this to stop.
“Good night, Aiden. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good night.” I sit in silence for a moment, feeling my chest grow tighter with each minute that passes. The call may have ended, but whatever I’m feeling never goes away.