Chapter 22 Sawyer #2
He claps his hands, grabbing one and splitting it in half. Jamie takes it, reluctantly. “Oh, eat it.” Noah looks at me. “He’s worried about his cum creases.”
“No I’m not!” Jamie glares, taking the brownie.
“Just when I think I’m getting used to serious Noah.” I shake my head. What else do I need to do? The cafe is packed. I don’t think I get this many customers a month, let alone in one night.
“So . . .” He takes a bite, moaning to himself. “What’s up with Fire Daddy?”
“What?” Jamie asks mid-bite.
“Sawyer’s been flirting with a firefighter. He’s gorgeous. You did well.” He takes another bite.
“He’s a firefighter in Briarfield. He is really handsome huh.”
Noah nods. “Fire Daddy will be a great addition to our friend group. We’ve been needing a safety specialist for game nights. I’ve really wanted to introduce pyrotechnics for a while now.”
Jamie shakes his head. “I couldn’t help but notice a certain pissed-off cashier.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” And I don’t.
“I just want to get through this night. It’s incredible.
I can’t thank you enough for all the work you and everyone have done to help me, and right now I’m having fun with a guy who actually likes me for a change.
I’m done with closed-off cold assholes.”
Both Jamie and Noah blink at me. I feel it on the back of my neck. I turn and see Aiden in the door frame, his hard eyes on me. Cold. Nothing like the warmth soaking them while he was in my arms just last night. “Someone asked when speed dating is starting.” His voice is hollow.
“Uh . . .” Noah looks between us. “Right now. I’ll be right out.” He slips off the bar stool, grabbing Jamie’s hand and leading him out the door.
We stand there staring, and I don’t know what to do. Every time I see him it’s like the air just leaves my lungs. And he just left. Thanks. Fucking thanks. I swallow and steel my spine. I need to go out there. I have a job to do.
I pass him in the doorway and feel his fingers brush my arm. I look at them before glaring at him. “Can we talk?”
“I’m busy.” I blink at him then shake my head. “Why don’t you just leave me a note.”
“It’s really simple. Think musical chairs but sexier.
” I shake my head. “When the buzzer sounds, everyone gets up, finds a table, and sits. The goal is to meet as many people as possible. Music will play after the buzzer, and once it stops, sit at the nearest table. Friendships, relationships . . . it doesn’t matter. The goal is to form a connection.
Noah waves me over. What? Why!?
“Come here, Bakery—”
“Okay, I’m coming.” I come up on stage and Noah speaks.
“Our very own hottie is responsible for this amazing evening. How about a round of applause for Sawyer.” Everyone cheers and it makes me smile. “And he’s single.” He winks. “He’ll be sitting at this table the entire time, so make sure you come by and say hello to him.”
Jamie walks by carrying a couple of plates of brownies as I make my way to my table. I watch my other friends also serve brownies to tables. Then my eyes collide with his.
Like a punch to the throat.
No. Don’t look at him. I drop down and hear the bell. Music starts to play while people frantically find a table to sit at. It stops and a someone sits down in front of me. Their blonde hair falls down their back in a fishtail-style braid. “Hi, my name’s Christina. They, them.”
“Sawyer. He, him.” I smile, shaking their hand.
“This place is so cute, and those truffles . . . Can I order them on your website?”
“Oh, yes. There aren’t too many on my website right now, we’re still working on things, but you can also call or email with any requests.” I push the tiny plate toward them. “Try these.”
“Oh my god.” They take another bite, covering their mouth with a smile.
“I didn’t know this place was here. I work like five minutes from here.
” They take another bite. “These are insane.” There are four left, and while I’m dying for one, I don’t want to take them from other people. I can make them anytime.
“What do you do for a living?”
“I work at the daycare center.” They cover their mouth, chewing. “Everything is so good. I bought a second box of truffles.” They laugh. “My girlfriend insisted.”
“You’re here with a girlfriend? At this event?”
They shrug. “Do you know how hard it is to make queer friends around here? This is so much fun. I wish there were more events like this. It’s just nice, you know? This is a great night. Thank you, seriously. We’re having so much fun.”
The buzzer sounds while words are caught in my throat. “It was nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
Wow. Okay. My smile breaks. I can’t believe this. Another person sits down and they’re a lot like the first—thanking me, telling me they love my desserts. I ask them where they work. A lot of people are from close by, and I wonder how no one knew I was down here.
Noah has really helped me out. It goes the same with the next couple of people who come around. My friends hand out the raspberry bark, and I do grab a piece of that. I love it. It’s like a comfort dessert. Easy to make and delicious.
“Ew.” I shake my head, pulling the plate away from my sister as she sits in the empty seat across from me. “Why are you even playing? You hate people, and you don’t even want a relationship.”
“I’m networking,” Jane says.
“Uh-huh.”
“What? I still like sex. Grow up.”
“Please, never say that again.” I give her a piece of bark. “Are you having fun at least?”
“I am. This is amazing. You should be really proud. Mom would be proud.”
I look down and shake my head. “Yeah.”
“Maybe not with this slutty apron, but she’d be proud nonetheless.”
The buzzer sounds. “Thank fuck.”
“I’m the hottest date you’re going to get tonight.
” I gag as she slaps my arm. I think she’s going to leave but instead she hugs me from behind, looping her arms around my neck and kissing the side of my head.
“Seriously. This is incredible. You’re incredible.
I’m so happy for you. You deserve this.”
My eyes prick with heat. “Love you.”
“I love you.” I lose her arms as someone else drops into the seat. Then I look up and Ammon smiles at me. “Hello again, stranger.”
“Hey.” Fuck, my face is hot.
“Your sister?”
“Oh.” I laugh and nod. “Yeah. Are you having fun?”
“Oh yes. Much more now.” He takes a piece of bark, his eyes brightening as he bites. “Wow, this is incredible. And those brownies.” He kisses his fingers. “My compliments to the gorgeous pastry chef.”
“Thank you.”
“While I love playing games, I know that two minutes won’t be enough time for me to get to know you. Do you want to hang out after this? My night’s free. I don’t work tomorrow either.”
I swallow, looking down. I could do it. I could take him upstairs and fuck him and move on with my life.
Or I could hope he might want to keep talking to me without sex at first, and maybe that feeling will grow .
. . But right now, I don’t feel much. There’s no spark.
Ammon is handsome, kind, and a fucking firefighter, and I just feel nothing. No zing.
I’m tired of trying to force something that isn’t there.
Why am I so picky? It’s a dumb feeling I’m chasing, when stability could be right in front of me in the form of a very hot firefighter. I could at least try. “Sawyer?”
“Oh um. Well, I—”
“Oh damn.” He chuckles, scrubbing a hand on his beard. The warm brown of his cheeks deepen in color. “Read that kind of wrong, didn’t I?”
“No, you didn’t. At least I don’t think so. I mean, I like talking to you and you seem very nice.”
“Nice? Ouch.”
“No, what I mean is—”
Buzzz
“Time’s up.” I lift my head at the deep voice and see Aiden standing over the guy glaring down.
Ammon looks between us and gives me a soft smile. “Understood.” He gets up. Ammon’s barely out of the seat when Aiden drops into it with a thud.
“Leave me alone Aiden. I get it. You don’t give a shit about anything, anyone, especially what happened last week.
I get it, alright? I fucked up and felt like it was more when you never said it was.
Actually, no, Aiden. You’ve explicitly told me you hate relationships, so why the hell I thought I was different, I have no clue. That’s my fault.”
“Are you done?” he asks.
“No. Screw you. You had to know I felt something. You let me fuck you then you left without a word. Just like that. Fucking thanks. After everything!? Are you kidding Aiden!?” The buzzer sounds.
Somone new walks over and waits for him to leave. “Chair’s taken.” he growls.
“Aiden, move.”
“No.” He glares at me. “Find someone else,” he says to them.
“Why are you acting like this!?” I’m going to strangle this frustrating man. His lips purse so tight. He drums his fingers on the table, not meeting my eyes. “What!? What do you want?!”
“It was . . .” He sucks his teeth. “It was my first time.”
“I know it was our first time. You thought all that needed was a hey, thanks for the orgasm. You’re impossible.”
“No.” He glowers. Then he swallows, and I watch his violet eyes soften a touch. He leans forward a bit, cutting the space between us. “It was my first time.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This is so fucking tedious.” He groans, burying his head in his arms on the table, then pulls up to look at me. “Everything, Sawyer. Happy? Everything we’ve done together was the first time I did any of those things. With anyone. Ever. Happy!?” he snaps.
Not even a little. “Like, sex?”
“Is that not everything?”
“Even the kissing?”
“Everything. As in I’ve literally never liked someone enough to talk to them let alone put my mouth on them, and I don’t understand it. I don’t even care to understand it. I don’t. But I do. And I fucking hate it.”
Why didn’t he tell me?
Was it bad?
Fuck, was I too rough?
I think about everything we’ve done. I didn’t really ease him into any of it. His reactions to the things we’ve done. I should have seen it.
“Was I too rough? Was it too—”
“Much!” he snaps, passing his eyes around the room and then lowering his voice.
“Yes! It’s too much. All of you is too much.
” That accent punches thicker with every frustrated word.
“Everything we’ve done is too much! I can’t stop thinking about it.
I can’t stand it. I hate it. All I know is, I feel you everywhere.
It never stops! Around me. Against me. Inside me. I don’t want it!”
My mind is racing. Everyone moves around the room, talking and forming connections, while I’m here. And while I feel bad about not knowing it was his first time . . .
He still hurt me.
“Do you know how rare it is for me to feel like this? For the first time ever, Aiden, I feel all the things I’ve been dying to experience and it’s with a closed-off, cold-hearted asshole!”
I get up, storming to the back and not looking back at him.
I’m fucking done.
I need to move on, and the only way I can do that is to forget him.