18. Chapter 18
Chapter 18
N az and Meg didn’t leave the trailer at all for the rest of the day. Rocks got up in the afternoon, all crabby and lumbering, and Meg startled awake. She checked her shirt, making sure it covered her ass, then pretended to sleep.
Rocks scratched his beard as he stared blearily at them.
“I don’t get you, man,” he said, shaking his head while he stretched. “It’d be one thing if you were fucking her, though Julio would kill you.”
Rocks laughed, using his shoulder to open the trailer door and letting it slap shut behind him.
Meg lifted her head, leaning back on his thighs and gripping his shoulders. Her eyes looked worried.
“Am I going to get you killed?”
Naz shook his head.
Julio was a coward. He wasn’t going to escalate things, not when he knew he’d be the one to end up dead. At least, he wouldn’t as long as Naz kept his dick in his pants.
His brief erection had been a fluke. Her crotch had rested against his for the last hour, and his dick hadn’t stirred.
Naz ate in front of Meg that day. Twice. The first was his typical protein shake. He’d filled the same container with soup later, a vegetable one with low sodium that he could almost hear Ramiro nagging him about.
He hated eating in front of anyone, and nerves had filled him both times. Meg didn’t treat him like he was under a microscope, though, or like he was some magician performing a trick. She also didn’t look away the way others had, as though it was disgusting to watch.
Instead, she talked the whole time he ate.
She was still stuck on aliens during the protein drink. She chatted about UFO sightings and how it’d be neat to do the touristy thing in Roswell. The likelihood that they were the only intelligent beings in the whole universe seemed ridiculous to her, but she also thought the whole abduction thing was silly, too. If the aliens were advanced enough to travel all that way, then they sure as hell could get all the information they needed to know with a simple scan of the planet.
Meg stared down at the sandwich in her hand. “Body snatchers are an interesting idea, though. Where they take over our minds because they might need us as hosts?”
Naz nearly choked, having to concentrate to force his throat to relax enough to get the liquid down.
Body snatchers made him think of his episodes. He hadn’t had one for a while, not a true episode, just those short erasures of time. As nice as the body snatcher possibility would be, he couldn’t wave away responsibility. He might not remember, but it was still him. A part of him, anyway.
“Oh, and the ‘Mars needs women’ concept is a fun one.” Meg’s eyes met his as she finished the last of her sandwich. “Sign me up for that,” she said around her chewing.
Naz realized he’d already swallowed all of his drink and wiped the excess that had dribbled out of his mouth with a napkin.
She smiled at him, and he rose to clean out the bottle.
During his soup dinner, Meg switched to talking about ghosts while she slurped at her own bowlful. He listened to her theories, not realizing until there was no more soup in his bottle that he’d finished already. He wiped at his mouth, his heartbeat in his throat. Eating had never been that easy, but somehow, distracted by Meg, swallowing felt more natural.
“You’re probably not creeped out by cemeteries either,” Meg said, blissfully ignorant to his shocked daze. “I bet you’d walk through them with that peaceful look you get when you stroll through the woods.”
A snort slid out of him. He didn’t stroll; he patrolled.
Meg grinned. Her gaze dropped to her half-full bowl, and she swirled her spoon in the liquid. “I’ve seen a ghost before.”
Naz studied her face. She didn’t seem happy about it. Her lip trembled a little before it firmed, and she continued stirring.
“I mean, I imagined I did. Picturing my mom watching over me at night helped me sleep. I’d found a few pictures of her Dad kept. She was beautiful—long, dark, curly hair and big eyes.”
Meg had gotten her looks from her mother. Even with sad eyes, she was beautiful.
She laughed, but it was a short, false sound. “I mean, she had boobs and an ass, too, but I was too young to think about her being hot. To me, she just seemed so pretty. Like an angel more than a ghost. I’d look at those pictures of her in my closet as often as I could.
“I stared so much, I was certain I was really seeing her. My mom was there for me, I thought. But then Dad saw the pictures, and he—” She released the spoon, letting it clatter against the bowl. “Well, he told me that my mom hadn’t died. She’d run off. Moved on with her life. I can be an idiot sometimes, imagining stupid things.”
Meg’s eyes lifted. When they met his, Naz felt a punch in his stomach at what he saw there—longing. And she was staring at him .
She cleared her throat. “I get why she’d leave my dad. He was such an asshole. But…” She trailed off, and her lips curved into her fake smile. She pushed up from the rickety table, snagging her bowl and carrying it to the sink to dump out and wash.
“So you’re probably right,” Meg said. “There’s no such thing as ghosts. They don’t exist.”
Naz put his bottle next to the sink, moved behind her, and hugged her.
Her breath hitched. The water ran over her unmoving hands.
“Don’t,” she whispered.
Naz immediately released her, backing off.
Her hands gripped the sink, and she stared at the water. “Sorry. It’s just, when you do that, I—” She cleared her throat, turning away from the sink, away from him. “I need to pee,” she mumbled, escaping to the bathroom.
Meg made things feel easier for Naz, but he realized in that moment that it was the opposite for her. He made things harder for her.
He finished washing her bowl and spoon and cleaned out his bottle.
It was dark through the window over the sink. Night had fallen. They’d spent hours together, and no one had interrupted.
Not that they’d been doing anything wrong. They’d cuddled and rested and ate, and he’d listened to Meg talk.
He couldn’t remember a better day.
But it was getting late. Meg would need to leave for the other trailer. She always went to Julio first at night, finding Naz after. Julio would expect it.
Naz wished the day had gone by more slowly. Or maybe that time would speed up, and she would already be back with him.
Or hell, that he was still eating with her, listening to her talk. He never wanted to be eating.
The bathroom clicked open. Meg paused in the doorway, her gaze fixed on him. She still wore his shirt, the black material sliding off her shoulder, too big on her.
Meg crossed to him and hugged him.
Naz’s hands hovered as he hesitated, but then he wrapped them around her in return.
They stood together, and it felt like her heart beat against his, even though they weren’t the same height at all.
She nuzzled against his chest, sighing. “I’m tired. Let’s go to sleep.”
He carried her to the bedroom. Time had jumped forward, just like he’d wished. They lay on the bed together, entwined. She’d chosen to stay with him and not go to Julio. The hair rose on his arms again, and tingles raced over his skin. Not down to his dick; that remained limp between them.
He felt too full, like he could burst at the seams at any moment.
Reality slowly drifted into his mind. Julio would be expecting her to fuck him. He was going to be pissed.
“Meg.” Her name leaked out. Naz knew she should go, but he also didn’t want her to.
He was the idiot.
Meg’s arms tightened around him, holding him tight.
“It’s true that I don’t like cum much,” she mumbled into his shirt.
Naz wanted to pull her even closer, but he worried that it’d be too tight. He’d seen bruises along her skin before, ones she’d always waved away. He never wanted her to have bruises because of him.
She turned her face, her breath fanning against his neck. “I mean, the cum wasn’t great, but I wouldn’t have freaked out if—” The way she clutched him dug her nails into his bare arms. “That new guy wanted to fuck my mouth. Miguel’s always wanted to; he’s wanted to do more. And in that moment, I thought Julio was going to let them.”
Her face was damp against his skin. Meg was crying. Naz’s body went cold. There were no sobs, no choking sounds, just those silent tears that gutted him and made him want to rip out Julio’s spine.
“I know Julio’s gotten bored with me. He’ll pass me off soon. That’s what I thought was happening that night in the club. That man fucked me, but it was only one man, and I made sure I made it good, figuring that was it, and I should make sure the new guy knew what I had to offer. The sex was decent; he got me off. Going with him was better than being sold or something worse.” She let out a breath, her damp lashes brushing his neck.
He wanted to tuck her inside his chest so she’d always be safe.
“I would have missed you.” Her voice grew softer at the admission, acting as the shovel that would carve a space out inside him, one just for her. “And then you were so sweet, and I realized—” She pushed her mouth into his skin to absorb the way her voice choked, but it didn’t work, not completely.
Her breath shuddered as she swallowed. “I tried to protect myself, but it was too late. Now anything Julio decides is going to suck, but being passed to one guy would be much better than—” Her voice hitched, and his skin grew damper. Her nails dug deeper into his arms.
Naz’s mind calmed as he settled on a solution. He was going to have to kill Julio.
Meg caught her breath, turning her face into his shirt, muffling her next words, but each one still buried itself inside his head, mixing with all the other proof there—proof that the world was shit.
“My dad got bored with me like Julio. Like everyone. It was after he realized I was pregnant. At first, he couldn’t get enough once the worst had happened. Then one day, I got home from school, and a bunch of his friends were there. He dragged me into the middle of them. Told them it wasn’t like I could get knocked up again, so they could have as many turns as they wanted, but that it’d be twenty bucks each go. They—”
A sob burst out, muffled as well. Then another before she grew quiet, like she had drawn the rest of her sobs inside her, locking them up so they wouldn’t escape.
She realized she was clawing at him. He hated that she released him because of it. “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.” She tried to pull away. He didn’t want to let her, but he loosened his grip enough for her to shift back, even if his hands wouldn’t completely leave her.
She wiped at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so pathetic.”
“Meg.” Naz wished he could say more. She wasn’t pathetic at all. He never wanted her to think that.
Whenever he was near her, he wanted to be near her more. It was like she glowed a little brighter every time his eyes got to drink her in. Every time she laughed or smiled at him. Every time she talked to him, about anything and everything, her eyes shining.
She’d become the sun that he wanted to revolve around.
Even if he had to kill everyone in the warehouse in order to keep her.
Ramiro was going to lose his shit when he found out.
Naz didn’t care.
Meg had caught her breath. He pressed on her back with his hands, hoping she’d settle against him again, happy when she did with a little sigh. She deflated even more with that sigh.
“I’ve managed two guys a couple of times,” she mumbled, all her energy drained away. “It’s when it’s more that I panic. All I can picture is that whimpering, begging mess I became. I can deal with the physical stuff. The pain. I’m scared of becoming that pathetic again. I’d rather die first.”
Not before him. He’d protect her or die trying.
Naz could only shelter her with his body and hope it would be enough. He pulled her in closer, wrapping himself around her, some of his tension seeping away when her arms hugged him back.
“Being here, like this.” Meg’s voice had become soft wisps of air that he had to strain to hear. “I don’t want to stop, but it’s only going to make tomorrow harder.”
No. Being here like this, holding her, made life worth living tomorrow.
Meg’s breathing evened out.
Naz didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t want to lose even a moment with her.
He needed to make sure neither of them died. As he snuggled Meg closer, his mind began filtering through the options of who he should kill first.