25. Chapter 24
Chapter 24
T he morning sickness was back the next day, but it let her sleep until close to dawn. Summer scrambled over Ramiro and lurched toward his bathroom, not bothering with the light as she lunged for the toilet.
Ramiro settled in behind her, holding her hair as he murmured words she couldn’t hear over her heaving, but his tone sounded soothing.
It was over quickly, and she was already starting to feel better before he wiped the cool washcloth over her face. He pulled her back into his lap so she wasn’t on the bathroom floor, urging her body to rest against his.
Guilt weaved inside her as she opened her eyes to the murky darkness of the bathroom. “I keep waking you up,” she mumbled, closing her eyes again. “If I slept in the guest room, that wouldn’t happen.” He’d carried her to his room last night, and she hadn’t fought it .
“You sleep with me, Summer. That’s how I want it.”
Summer doubted he was telling the truth, but she nodded in the dark. Her fingers smoothed the hair on the arm he’d wrapped around her. “If it ever gets to be too much, let me know,” she offered.
She loved the way he kissed her hair, nuzzling into her. “After yesterday, I was hoping the morning sickness was easing.”
Summer’s hands closed around his arm. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Not for me. I hate seeing you not feeling good.”
“It’s been a little better this weekend,” she admitted. “It seemed like I was nauseous all the time last week.”
Ramiro’s hold on her tightened. “All the time? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Her fingers curled into his arm. She’d said the wrong thing again. “No, it was fine. I wasn’t trying to complain.”
“It might be a normal symptom, but it’s not fine. Were you just nauseous, or were you actually throwing up?” When she didn’t answer, he let out a sigh. “I can’t believe I missed that. Please tell me next time.” He nuzzled her hair again. “You feel better when I’m here like this, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Summer whispered.
“Don’t hide these things from me. I want to take care of you, and you like when I do. Let me do it.” His arms slid around her even more securely. “And if the nausea gets worse again, we can call the doctor, see about getting that medicine.”
She nodded, her head rubbing under his chin .
“Now, let’s see about feeding that baby inside you a banana, the way she likes.” His muscles bunched, and then he was lifting her.
“I need to brush my teeth first,” she mumbled as she wound an arm around his shoulders.
He set her on her feet in the guest bathroom, and she turned on the light before moving to the sink. Summer paused with the water running over her toothbrush. Instead of going on to the kitchen, Ramiro remained in the bathroom doorway. His eyes locked on hers in the mirror.
“Take your stuff to the other bathroom when you’re done,” he said. “I want your toothbrush next to mine.”
Warmth flooded through her as she imagined it. She nodded, watching him smile at her before he moved out of the doorway.
The sudden noise from across the hall pulled her to the door. He left the guest bedroom with a drawer full of her clothes. Her hand froze, no longer moving the toothbrush as she watched him dump them out on the still disheveled sheets of his bed. Foam filled her mouth. She hated it, but she couldn’t turn away from the sight of him moving back toward her.
“No more separate rooms, baby girl,” he said and walked past with the now empty drawer.
She moved back to the sink, rinsing out her mouth with her head spinning. When she straightened, she caught her own smile in the mirror. Her arms scooped up her shampoo and shower things along with her toothbrush, and she followed behind Ramiro back to their room as he carried yet another drawer to dump.
Summer couldn’t leave all her clothes like that.
After organizing her things in the bathroom—her toothbrush now beside Ramiro’s like she’d always dreamed—she worked on the clothes. The dresser drawer she opened was already empty and waiting to be filled.
Ramiro paused behind her with a handful of hangers of her clothes. “Happy?” he asked.
She could only nod.
He kissed the top of her head, disappearing into the closet. Her dresses were going to hang in his closet, next to all his fancy suits.
Giddiness swamped her, making her fingers tingle.
His now empty hand wrapped around one of hers, making the tingles worse. “Come on. A banana first, then you can organize as much as that tidy heart of yours wants.” He tugged her toward the door, and Summer followed him to the kitchen.
“Is there anything I shouldn’t move?” she asked, already picturing how their things could look together.
“As long as I see your stuff next to mine, I’ll be happy.” Ramiro released her to pull off one of the bananas. He peeled it before handing it to her. “I figure you’re too impatient to get back to organizing to wait for me to slice it.”
He’d started slicing them after he’d seen her do it. Something about eating out of the banana peel didn’t usually appeal to her, but he wasn’t wrong about her impatience. She took a bite, chewing quickly.
Ramiro’s eyes softened as he watched her, but he cleared his throat. “One more thing.”
She paused mid-chew.
“This doesn’t mean you have to have sex with me. I’d never force you, Summer. If all we do is snuggle every night, I’m more than happy.”
The bite she swallowed felt lumpy sliding down her throat. Snuggling with no desire for more would be easy for him. He didn’t really want her that way. The reminder hurt, even though snuggling with him was wonderful as well.
Ramiro stepped closer. “I want you to feel safe with me. We’ll only do what you want to do. Remember that.”
Summer nodded, staring at his broad, hairy chest, the one that made her want to stroke it, maybe even nuzzle it until she found his nipple with her mouth. She flushed, wondering whether he’d like that.
His hand reached out, tilting her chin up so she’d meet his eyes. “We share a room now, Summer. That’s the way we both want it, and it’s a done deal. If you try to sleep in the guest room again, I’m going to have all those beds removed from this house. Understand?”
He really did want her to sleep with him. Warmth filled her, chasing some of the hurt away. “I understand,” she breathed out, her lips parting, the urge to grab him and kiss him almost overwhelming .
No. He’d just said he didn’t want to do that. She shouldn’t force herself onto him.
Those wrinkles formed on his forehead as he released her and looked toward the hall. “I should have one bed removed, anyway. Look into what’s best for a nursery.”
Summer’s chest tightened, all thoughts of kissing him forgotten. “We won’t need a nursery.” Her words came out fast, stumbling over each other as she tried to push the images away—images of what kind of nursery she would design for her daughter if she could. Not the typical pink, but yellow and white. No. The baby wouldn’t need a space here. Summer wasn’t going to keep it.
Ramiro was staring at her, studying her face. “We’ll see,” was all he said, moving past her and down the hall.
She stared at the half-eaten banana in her hand, her stomach swirling, unable to not think about the baby growing inside her.
R amiro had asked Diego to come over that afternoon and should have expected his friend to bring the bundle of chaos along with him. Emma was smiling just like last time, as if she knew something no one else had guessed yet.
“You had a package at the gate,” Diego said. When he went to set his toddler down, Ramiro stepped forward to take her instead. He’d learned his lesson about letting her loose last time .
“Welcome, Diego,” Summer said from behind him. She reached out to tickle Emma’s neck, and the little girl giggled. “I didn’t realize you two were coming over.”
Ramiro wondered how she made such a small interaction look natural. His breathing was already hitching from just holding the kid, who felt too delicate in his big hands.
“He didn’t tell you?” Diego asked, pushing a hand back through his unruly hair with a grin that Ramiro didn’t like. “I guess that makes sense. Ram isn’t one to admit to his fetishes.”
Ramiro’s face heated under his beard, not made any better when the toddler tugged on his facial hair. “It’s not about a fetish.”
Diego clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that. Now that my hands are free, I’ll grab the equipment.”
Ramiro glared after him. Seeing Summer’s face scrunched in confusion, he distracted her the best way he could. He handed her Emma. “I should go help Diego.”
Summer didn’t look as comfortable accepting the toddler as he’d expected her to. She balanced Emma on her hip, but her hands looked awkward in their placement, and her face looked as panicked as Ramiro had felt.
She smoothed it into a forced smile, and he liked that even less. Then Emma poked the rose on Summer’s shirt, saying “pwetty” in a babyish way that was both annoying and kind of cute, and Summer’s smile turned more natural .
“I have lots of pretty clothes with flowers. Want to come see, Emma?” Summer asked, turning when the little girl nodded enthusiastically, and they headed back to his bedroom.
Not his, not anymore. Their bedroom. Summer’s things were spread throughout the space, even if she’d tucked them away to where it was harder to notice.
He should buy some new sheets for the bed. Something with flowers. She’d like that.
Ramiro went out to help Diego carry in the camera equipment he’d brought.
“Shouldn’t you let her know you’ll be spying on her here?” Diego asked, shoving a box into his arms. “Maybe she’d like it. Even give you a show.” His eyes lost focus, and he swallowed, turning away.
“Fuck you, Diego. It’s for safety.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” Diego said, grabbing another box. “I know better now. That setup in her apartment was one of the earliest ones I did, when I was still figuring things out. I’m surprised the feeds lasted so long.”
“I had to adjust things over the years,” Ramiro admitted. Hayes had talked him through some of the steps for the wireless setup. “It wasn’t safe for me to be around Summer all the time, and I worried that someone would tail me there. The cameras were necessary.” He looked back toward the house. “They’re necessary here, too. I can’t stay with her every minute.” No matter how much he wanted to .
“Your security here isn’t bad.” Diego looked toward the gate. “The apartment she was in was decent, too. It was a bitch to get that body out of there unseen. How did the ex even get in there?”
Ramiro’s hands tightened on the box. Hayes had provided the name of the doorman working that night. He’d settled for getting the man fired, but still had his personal details, including an address, in case he changed his mind. Providing a harder lesson was tempting.
“I appreciate you taking care of it,” was all he said as he carried the equipment inside.
Deeper in the house, the low murmur of voices drifted to him, followed by the bubbly and bright laugh of a child. Summer’s answering laughter settled over him.
Was that what it would sound like if she kept her own child? The hairs on his arms rose as he stood transfixed. He couldn’t even see them, only hear those distant sounds that proved they were there.
“Give me that,” Diego grumbled, grabbing the box and taking the camera from the top of the heap. “You’re a mess, you know that? At least you’re thinking about it.”
Ramiro couldn’t not think about it. Kids still made him nervous, but the fact that a child grew inside the woman he loved wasn’t something he could ignore. Part of him was constantly fixated on it.
He just wasn’t sure if that fixation was a positive thing yet .
“I’ll set up your surveillance. You go get that big-ass package at the gate.” Diego eyed the room, moving to the corner with the bookcase first. A bookcase that now held some of Summer’s old paperbacks. “What the hell did you even order that’s long like that?”
Excitement slid inside Ramiro at the description, and he rushed out to grab the box. It wasn’t as large as Diego had complained. The perfect size to contain the stand he’d purchased, plus some room for foam. Ramiro ripped it open, but he didn’t move the stand to where it belonged. He went to get Summer instead.
Emma was wearing one of Summer’s flowered T-shirts. This one was light pink with a bundle of flowers in white that said Bloom Beautifully. It was too big on the toddler, and she almost tripped on the hem as she rushed toward him.
Ramiro caught her, pretending to toss her up in the air as he lifted her high. Her squeal of delight rang in his ears, too loud, but also a happy sound.
“You play a dangerous game, letting this one loose to run,” he said to Summer.
She was staring at him with the little girl in his arms, her smile trembling a little, her brow pinched as she lifted a hand to her neck. He watched her stroke there, a small motion she often did when she was nervous.
Kids made him nervous, too. “Emma plays a mean game of hide and seek. Don’t you, Emma? ”
The little girl’s shouted “yes” was almost as loud as her squeal had been, and Ramiro winced.
“Want to see what I bought for Summer?” he asked the little girl, not waiting for her answer before turning toward the hallway.
“What? You bought me something?” Summer’s light steps followed them, her hand reaching over his shoulder to tickle Emma’s neck again.
Diego backed out of the hallway to let them pass. “I assume you want one in the bedroom,” he muttered, lifting the camera in his hand.
Ramiro flushed at the suggestion. He remembered Hayes hacking into the apartment’s feed. He was surrounded by fucking voyeurs. “No,” he said.
Diego paused. “No?” He lifted an eyebrow.
Ramiro swallowed. “No. Not the main bedroom, but do the spares.” It’d be helpful to have a camera in there if they turned one into a nursery. Ramiro would let Summer pick which one, but he assumed it would be the one she’d been using. It was closer to theirs.
Theirs. He doubted he’d get tired of that.
Summer studied the camera in Diego’s hand. “You’re setting those up in the house?”
Diego’s lips tilted up. “I’ll let Ram explain.” He moved back into the hallway.
Ramiro bounced Emma as she squirmed. “It’s just surveillance so I can keep an eye on things when I’ m not around.”
“Oh,” Summer said, her eyes moving away from his.
“Hey.” Ramiro moved closer to her, nudging her shoulder. “I want to be with you all the time, but I know that isn’t realistic. With my past, and the situation with the cartel, and hell, anything that could come up, I need to know you’re safe.”
“I don’t mind the cameras,” Summer said, smiling at him, but her smile was off. Not quite her fake one, but not happy either. “It’s a good idea.”
He hefted Emma a little higher on his hip as she wriggled to try to get down. “What’s wrong?”
“Pwesent!” Emma shouted, making his ears ring.
Summer’s smile widened as she looked at the little girl. “That’s right.” She reached out, and Emma was ready to ditch him in a second. “Want to see it with me?”
Ramiro leaned the toddler out of reach. “I got her. You’ll need both hands to move it where you want.”
Summer’s smile faded as her lips parted in surprise, and a curiosity he had always loved to see filled her eyes. One she stifled too often.
Ramiro nodded toward the stand he’d purchased. The dark wood of it gleamed a little on the top, with carved and curling vines and flowers etched into the sides.
Her finger traced the curve of the highest vine. “It’s gorgeous, Ram.”
“The blue bowl should look perfect on it wherever you choose to put it.”
Summer’s hands curled around the stand, almost as if she hugged it, and her smile bloomed into the real one he loved.