27. Chapter 26
Chapter 26
S ummer woke up to light at the edge of the curtains. She’d managed to sleep in until a decent time again. Her stomach wasn’t completely still, but the swirling wasn’t intense enough to send her scrambling for the bathroom. She breathed through the light nausea as her fingers slid over Ramiro’s, where they rested under her breasts. She loved how he wrapped his body around hers while they slept. Having him at her back felt safe, protected.
He was also close enough that his morning erection pressed against her ass. The mornings she was sick, his body’s normal reaction faded. She understood. Watching her retch wasn’t exactly the sexiest thing.
His erection didn’t mean she turned him on, either. It was a biological response, not a sign that he wanted to have sex with her. Reminding herself of that didn’t prevent her ass from rubbing along all that temptation .
Ramiro stretched against her, his arms wrapping tighter even as his hips shifted away from her. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, his voice deep with sleep still.
“Okay,” she said. “I don’t need to race to the bathroom.”
“That’s good.” His lips kissed her hair before he rolled away. “We should get a banana in you to keep it that way.”
Summer was sick of bananas, but they settled her stomach. She withheld her grumbling as she rose from the bed.
“I’ll bring it to you,” Ramiro offered, but she shook her head.
“Let me make your coffee today, since I feel up to it. You can have the bathroom first.”
Ramiro grabbed her arm, and she paused, turning toward him. “You don’t need to make me coffee, Summer.”
Nerves slid over her. “I want to,” she said softly.
He studied her face, then nodded, squeezed once, and let her go.
Summer didn’t skip to the kitchen—her stomach wasn’t settled enough for that—but a giddiness swamped through her. She got to take care of Ramiro.
Besides, looking at porcelain first thing in the morning while her stomach was still swirling didn’t sound like a good plan.
The coffee machine was timed to brew in the morning, so it didn’t take much to pour Ramiro a cup with a dash of cream like he liked. She left it steaming on the kitchen island while she chomped on a banana.
Ramiro didn’t take long and still wore only sleep pants when he came to the kitchen. She slipped her eyes over him as she finished eating. The pants showed an outline of what he was packing, but he no longer had an erection. She wondered if he masturbated. It’d been a couple of weeks since they’d had sex, and he hadn’t even gotten to finish. The only time they weren’t together was in the bathroom. He had to jerk off in there, didn’t he?
Picturing it stirred her all up. Ramiro had big hands. She doubted he’d be gentle with himself, not after the way he’d taken her. She imagined those sleep pants shoved down, one of his hands braced against the shower wall, his lips parted as he touched himself.
“What are you thinking about, baby girl?” his voice rumbled, sending goosebumps chasing over her arms.
She’d been staring at his crotch. Summer flushed, ignoring his question and avoiding looking at him as she raced to the bathroom to take her turn. What would he have done if she told him the truth?
Derek had thought a couple of weeks was a long time to go without sex. She shoved her ex’s face out of her mind. Whenever she thought of him, she was reminded of how angry he’d been in those last moments.
How long had it been for Ramiro? Summer had never seen other women around him, but someone like him probably needed sex often. He seemed so much more masculine than other men.
Ramiro was much better at sex than anyone else she’d been with. He’d actually gotten her to orgasm, and not just once. Her body had been limp and exhausted after.
She wanted to do the same for him, but it would never happen. She wasn’t enough for him. Ramiro deserved better.
Spitting out the foamy toothpaste didn’t help the returning swirl in her stomach. The click of the light switch felt loud as Summer turned off the bathroom light, shuffling back to where Ramiro waited. He studied something on his phone while sipping the coffee she’d made for him, one ankle crossed over the other, leaning back against the kitchen island and waiting for her.
Ramiro was so gorgeous, and he was all hers. Instead of feeling happy about that, she felt guilty.
His head tilted up, as if he sensed her approach. His smile reached his eyes, making the warm brown even warmer. He set his phone on top of the island face down, holding out a hand toward her.
Summer couldn’t resist. She took his hand, letting him pull her into his body. His chest was so solid under her cheek, the hair tickling lightly and begging her to nuzzle. If she moved a little to the right, she could lick his brown nipple. She closed her eyes so she wouldn’t be tempted.
“What do you want to do today? Curl up on the couch like last weekend?”
The suggestion sounded perfect. Her body could rest over his as he reacted to whatever they watched, his chuckles and grumbles rumbling under her ear, his breath coasting over her hair.
“What did you do on the weekends before I moved in?” Summer asked instead.
Ramiro grunted. “Mostly worked.”
He was such a workaholic sometimes. “You can work today. I don’t mind.” Everything felt easier when she got to slip into her secretary role. The image of bringing him lunch like she did at the office was appealing. She could even clean up a little around the house.
“There’s nothing that needs my attention,” Ramiro said. “I’d rather spend time with you.”
Her fingers curled into his back. How did he always know what she wanted to hear?
“Isn’t watching TV all day a little boring for you?” she pushed.
“Not feeling the couch session?” He brushed his hand over her hair, making her body tingle from the simple caress. She loved when he touched her hair. “We could do something else. Whatever you want, Summer.”
She wanted to cuddle with him on the couch. “Why does it have to be what I want to do?”
“I can come up with something if you’re not sure what you want to do. Like I did with the drive.”
Another perfect date with him would just make her more selfish. “That’s not what I meant. ”
Ramiro set his mug on the island before pushing her back from him to search her eyes. Summer struggled to meet his gaze. “What’s going on in that head of yours, baby girl?”
She flushed. “I was just thinking that you might want to do something more… physical.” Her gaze dropped to his body. He was strong, but not in a six-pack abs way. Ramiro was burly and rough and capable, with a lot of stamina. He probably needed to release it, and he wouldn’t get to do that with her.
“Are you up to something physical?” Ramiro asked, his eyebrows dipping. “I read that being tired is pretty common in the first trimester.”
“I don’t want to talk about the pregnancy,” Summer rushed out.
Ramiro went quiet.
She wished she could hide against his chest again. “I wasn’t even talking about going with you. It’s okay if you need to do something and leave me here. I mean, isn’t that what the cameras are for? You can still check on me and get done what you need to get done.”
Ramiro’s thumbs stroked her shoulders. “Are you wanting some alone time?”
She would hate every second that he wasn’t with her. She opened her mouth to lie but shut it again. Ramiro hated when she lied to him, even if it was for his own good.
She sighed, pulling out of his grasp to back toward the opposite counter. “I’m just saying that I’m okay if you aren’t with me every second. You don’t have to not do something you might need to do just because we’re living together.”
Ramiro’s hand lifted, pushing back through his thick, wavy hair, and she wished it was her hand touching him. “What is it you think I might need to do?”
She bit her lip, looking away.
He hummed in his throat. Normally she loved that thinking hum. Now it made her feel exposed, vulnerable.
“There’s obviously something you’re not saying.” His hand dropped, pressing into his leg. “I’m gonna need you to come out and say it.”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to talk about this. Let’s just watch TV, like you said. I was being stupid.” She forced a smile, lifting her head but focusing on his nose so she wouldn’t see his expression. He was probably so frustrated with her. “I like cuddling on the couch. You’re always offering just what I need.” He always got everything exactly right while she made a mess of things.
When she tried to walk past him, Ramiro caught her, tugging her closer and tilting her chin up. “What do you think I need?” he pressed.
Summer stared into his searching eyes. “I don’t want to say it,” she whispered.
He brushed her hair behind her ear, his touch so gentle it made her want to cry. “You can tell me anything.”
She knew that steady look in his eyes. He wasn’t going to let this go. “I-I know, okay?” she mumbled.
“What do you know?”
She swallowed, her mouth feeling too dry as her stomach squeezed. “I know I’m not enough.”
“Not enough?” His forehead wrinkled. “What are you talking about? You’re everything.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not, and it’s okay.”
“I love you. How many times do I have to say it for you to hear it?”
“No. I mean, yes. I know you love me.” Saying the words herself made them seem more real. Ramiro loved her. She felt dizzy at the thought.
“Do you?” His hand moved to the back of her head, sinking into her hair so she couldn’t look away. “Say it again, then.”
“You love me.” Summer’s whole body filled with heat.
He stared into her eyes. “Again.”
“You love me.” Summer’s hands reached out, pressing against his chest. Not to push him away. She needed to touch him, to ground herself. “You love me,” she said again, this time on her own.
He leaned down, brushing his lips over hers, the contact making her mouth tingle. “I do. I love you. So how could you possibly think you’re not enough?”
Her throat tried to tighten. “Sex!” she blurted out, cringing as his eyes grew wide. She tried to push away now, but he wouldn’t let her. His head lifted from hers, though, and the surprise in his eyes faded to something else. She’d seen it in his eyes often enough to recognize it .
Ramiro was worrying about her again.
Summer tried not to cry. “You don’t want to have sex with me.”
Ramiro winced, and her fingers grew numb where they rested against his chest. “That’s—”
“I get it,” she interrupted. “You didn’t get there with me either time. It can’t be worth all that effort when you get nothing out of it.”
“Not worth it?”
She didn’t need him to deny it. She already knew. “I’m all messed up, and I have a lot of hang-ups.” She grimaced, not wanting to remember the way she’d frozen beneath him and ruined the last time. “So if you have needs I can’t meet, we don’t have to be exclusive. That’s all I’m saying.” The numbness moved to her lips, making the words sound foreign, even though exclusivity was a common discussion when dating. Her second boyfriend had taught her not to expect it unless it was said outright.
Ramiro’s hand tightened in her hair, and his other hand banded around her. “You’re not having sex with anyone but me, Summer. Not anymore.” He hadn’t shouted, but his eyes had gotten hard, and there was a gruffness to his voice.
Summer swallowed her nerves. “I didn’t mean me. I only want to be with you, Ram.”
The tightness in his grip eased, but his eyes didn’t soften.
“Sex with you is amazing. I know—” Her voice cracked, and her eyes grew warm. She blinked it away. “I know you don’t really want to, but I do. I want to have sex with you all the time.”
He let out a groan, lifting her into his arms, trapping her hands between them as he stalked toward the bedroom.
“Ramiro?”
He dropped her onto the bed with a bounce, and she scrambled to sit up. “What—”
He bent over her, the shadow of him making her nerves skitter. “All the time?” he asked.
Summer licked her lips as she touched his chest again, the feel of him so perfect. “Yes.” She petted the hair there, her finger finding his nipple and brushing over it. “I always want you, Ramiro.”
“Like right now?” His hands moved to the bottom of her pajama top. “Tell me you want me right now, Summer. Give me the words.”
“I want you right now.” Summer pinched his tightened nipple, loving the way his jaw tightened. “I want you deep inside me.”
Ramiro dragged her top over her head. She fell back when he went for the bottoms, lifting her hips to help him drag them off along with her underwear.
He stared at her. “You’re so fucking perfect.” He reached for her breast, palming it. “I’m going to give you exactly what you want.”
Her mouth went dry .
Ramiro’s hand pulled away, stripping off his own sleep pants. He was already partially erect, his penis hardening more as she stared at it. The slitted tip of him peeked out from his foreskin, as if it didn’t want to scare her away, the same as it had the first time.
Ramiro crawled onto the bed, reaching for her and rolling them to their sides. He pulled her front against his, lifting her thigh over his leg and high on his hip. His hardness nestled against her curls, and her heart raced to catch up.
“Wait!” she cried out, clutching at his arm.
His hand caressed her thigh, then around toward her ass, and she shivered. “Don’t worry, baby girl. I’m not going to slam into you. I’m going to make you feel good first.”
“I want to make you feel good,” she said, arching into his body when he palmed her ass.
“You already do,” he breathed, shifting his hips forward to press all that hardness right where she wanted it. “You feel so good.” His other hand tweaked her nipple and made her gasp. “There’s no way this won’t feel good to me.”
“I want you to come,” she blurted out before her every thought melted away. “Use me to come.”
His hands stilled, the grip on her ass tightening.
“I need you to, Ram,” she whispered. “Please.”
He swallowed, pulling her closer so her face rested against his chest. “It’s not because of you, Summer.”
He was trying to make her feel better about it. Her eyes grew warm again, and she pressed against him even tighter to try to hide the gasping sob.
“Shhh. I mean it. It’s not you. I need a lot of stimulation to get there. Most of the time I’ve had sex, I haven’t finished.”
She tried to wrap her head around that. “I want to be different.”
“You are different.” He ran his hands up her back, the action soothing. “There’s no one like you. I love being inside you, being so close to you.”
“I wish you were always that close. Sometimes I dream about waking up with you already inside me.”
“Fuck, Summer.” His hands tightened as he rocked against her. “What that idea does to me.” Ramiro took in a deep, shuddering breath. “But I never want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
“Or scare you. I was an idiot last time. I lost control because I’d never been so close that fast, but I never should have rolled you to your back.”
She shook her head. “Just keep going if that happens. Even if I tense up.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Please, Ram!” She struggled to lift her head, and he loosened his grip until she could tilt her head back to meet his eyes. “I can work through the nerves. I have before.”
“Not with me. If you’re not enjoying it, I can’t enjoy it. ”
She tried to hold on to her frustration, but she couldn’t, not with his eyes so warm on hers. “I don’t like that it still happens, but I trust you. Maybe it can get better with you.”
His hand sifted through the strands of her hair. “We can work on that when we’re not having sex.”
“Okay. And if I don’t tense up, you won’t stop, not until you come. Even if I tell you I’ve had enough.”
“No. I stop if you say to stop.”
“But I don’t really want you to. I just start to feel… overwhelmed.” And tired, she admitted to herself, but the admission wouldn’t get him to agree.
“Overwhelmed?” Ramiro asked.
She nodded, liking the way his fingers tightened in her hair. “No one else has made me orgasm, but with you, it’s like I can’t stop. At least that’s how it felt last time.”
“Fuck,” he breathed out. “Are you saying you’d keep orgasming, Summer?”
“I think so.” She wasn’t really sure, but she’d say anything to keep that intent look on his face. It made her excited. “I get overwhelmed and I say stop, but I don’t really want to stop. I’m just not sure I can handle more.”
“You can handle it.” His hands slid down her back until he gripped her ass, rocking her against him. “I love making you feel good.”
She arched her back, her breasts drawing his gaze. “Touch me, Ram. Touch me and don’t stop. Show me I’m enough for you. ”
“You’re enough. You’re everything.” His hand slid to her thigh again, where it rested over his hip. “I’m going to make you feel so good, baby girl.”
Excitement sizzled through her when he bent his head, latching on to her nipple.
Ramiro looked desperate for her, as desperate as she’d always wanted him to look, and it loosened something inside of her that she wanted him to take away forever.