Chapter 20
The sound of a key in the lock makes Ida look up from her tablet.
She is sitting on the sofa, the TV is on, but most of her attention is on an intense online discussion about the fatal stabbing at Copperhill. There are hundreds of contributions in the comments field. Emotions are running high. Some people are even claiming that it was a ritual killing.
It’s so awful.
Daniel appears in the doorway. He looks terrible; his eyes are tired; his brown hair is all over the place. He messaged about the new case earlier in the day, and Ida has read the rest for herself.
“Hi,” she says with a smile. “How are things?”
Daniel runs a hand over his beard. He steps forward and kisses her on the forehead.
“Sorry I’m late. Is Alice asleep?”
It’s almost nine o’clock. Of course she is.
“Yes,” Ida says, trying not to snap. “She went down at seven thirty as usual.”
Daniel glances toward the kitchen. “Any food left?”
“Half a jar of baby stew.”
Daniel looks disappointed, as if he were hoping for leftovers from dinner to warm up. “What did you have?”
“I couldn’t be bothered to cook when you said you were going to be late. I just had a cup of tea and a sandwich.”
Ida is slightly ashamed of herself; it sounds as if she’s lazy. But she had to leave work in a hurry to pick up Alice from preschool, as Daniel wasn’t going to be able to do it. It was all very stressful.
When they first met she was a guide and ski instructor, and loved every minute. Now she is an administrator with a local company. Not exactly her dream job, but the hours are regular and mean she can make life as the parent of a small child work.
Although sometimes the boredom gets to her. She has never been a fan of routine.
“Okay, I’ll make myself something,” Daniel says, heading for the kitchen. “Back in a few minutes.”
Ida feels guilty when he has left the room. She could of course have made something that would be enough for Daniel when he got home. But she hadn’t. She had had neither the desire nor the energy.
Sometimes she wonders what is happening between them.
She still remembers the feeling at the beginning, how much in love they were. Her whole body tingled as soon as she saw him, even if he’d only been gone for a few minutes. They made love several times every day.
That was fewer than three years ago—not very long.
Today she doesn’t feel like that at all when he walks in. Nothing happens inside her, and when they talk it is mostly about Alice, or practical matters. Who is going to pick her up from preschool, whether they should go somewhere at the weekend.
Once or twice Daniel has mentioned the possibility of a brother or sister for Alice, but Ida has dismissed the idea.
She feels trapped in a way she can’t really explain, never mind acknowledge out loud.
She often reminds herself that she is lucky to have a beautiful daughter and such a sweet partner.
He has even started seeing a therapist for her sake.
He is determined to make their relationship work, and Ida knows why.
He has told her about his upbringing and his absent father, how important it is for him to give Alice a different childhood.
Ida stares down at her tablet.
It can’t just be about Alice all the time, she thinks, absentmindedly scrolling through the ever-increasing barrage of comments.
She is only twenty-seven.
Is this it for the rest of her life?