29. Emma
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
emma
Honey kept Donnie for me as a favor, and I decided to go straight to Haley’s.
I wanted to confront Hunter. I wanted to find out what the hell was wrong with him, with us. But right now, I needed to fix what I’d broken with her.
I needed my best friend. I needed my sister.
I knocked on Haley’s front door and waited. Cam’s truck was gone. It took a couple of minutes before it opened.
Boy, she was not pleased to see me. Her lips pressed into a thin line and if looks could kill, I’d be dead. No one could give a dirty look quite like Haley could.
“Hi,” I whispered. I immediately choked up, but bit back the tears. “I’ve been lying to you.”
She released a slow breath and leaned against the doorway. “I know you have,” she said, not a waver in her voice. “I’ve known you for years, Emma. I know everything about you.”
“You don’t,” I said. “I want to talk. If you have time.”
Haley stared for a moment, and then her shoulders softened, her expression melting. “I’m angry at you.”
“You’re gonna be angrier.”
She raised a brow, studying me. But then stepped to the side and nodded her head towards her living room. “Should I tell Cam to take a hike?”
“At least for an hour, yeah. Then if you still love me, maybe he can bring us something sweet. Although I just had a pint of ice cream at Honey’s. But I’m eating my feelings today, and there are a lot of them.”
Haley winced. “Oh god. Did Honey give you an emergency pint?”
“She did.”
“Then it’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is, Hal.”
“Then come inside,” she said. “Time to rip some bandaids off.”
I shut the door behind me and kicked off my shoes, placing them in the shoe cabinet. I headed straight to her comfy couch and plopped down, hugging my knees to my chest.
This was going to suck. There was an elephant on my chest again and my ears were ringing. I was already exhausted from talking to Honey earlier, but she’d given me the strength I needed for this conversation.
All I could do was tell her the truth and hope she forgave me.
Her eyes flickered with concern as she sat down across from me. “Emma,” she said softly. “What is happening? What is going on?”
A steady breath didn’t lessen the sting in my throat. I started at the beginning. I told her about my dad’s death, about Josh, about how Hunter and I had been pretending. I even told her about the party and how Hunter and I had ended up sleeping together the next day.
“I want more details on that later,” she said. “But continue.”
So I did. She didn’t interrupt, she just listened, a talent she got from Honey.
I talked and talked and talked until my voice was hoarse and I’d revealed everything that I’d never let her know. About my family, my panic. I told her about my marriage to Josh and how those fourteen months had been my worst. My absolute worst.
“And then I met you, someone who believed in me. Who trusted and loved me. And I followed you to this small Texas town where I’ve met other people who trust and love me.” My throat burned with my words. “And then I broke your trust. I asked Hunter to lie to all of you. I asked him to pretend to be my fiancé just to get back at Josh, and it spiraled out of control.”
I’d been selfish because I couldn’t face my own demons.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Haley. I shouldn’t have kept this all from you.”
She sniffled and shook her head. “Why did you?”
“I didn’t want to disappoint you,” I cried. “I didn’t want to lose you. I already lost a sister once and I can’t do it again. I just can’t.”
“Emma. You’re such a dumbass.” Haley wiped her eyes and then moved closer, grabbing my hands. “Why would you ever think I’d stop loving you over all of this?”
“Because I lied. Because I’ve kept things from you. Because I’ve left you in the dark about my past even though you’ve always been honest with me.”
Haley used the scrunchie on her wrist to pull her hair back and shook her head at me. “Yeah, and I’m pissed. I’m pissed you didn’t lean on me. Since I’ve known you, you have always been there for me. You moved across the fucking country for me, Emma. And the one time I could be there for you, you didn’t let me.”
“It felt like too much. I felt like too much. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
She wiped away more tears and shook her head, a laugh bubbling up. “I had a serial killer go after me and that didn’t scare you away?”
My vision blurred as I started to cry again, letting out a broken sound. “A serial killer scares me less than the idea of disappointing someone I love.”
Haley cupped my cheeks and gave me a gentle shake. “Bitch, you need therapy.”
“I’ll get some,” I promised. “Haley, I am sorry I’ve kept all of this from you. Not only did it pull us apart, I also haven’t been there for you with what you’ve been going through.”
She gave a slight nod. “I love you,” she said. “And I forgive you. I’m still your best friend. You’re my ride or die. ‘Til death do us part, remember?”
“Thank you.” I hugged her, crying into her shoulder. We sat like that for a while until I’d truly shriveled up. My body was out of water between confessing to Honey and now Haley.
“I’m sorry, Emma,” she murmured. “I’m sorry about your dad.”
“I am too,” I sighed. “It just hit me when I was talking to Honey that he’s really gone. We won’t ever be able to mend our relationship. I don’t think we could have anyway, but the chance is gone.”
“I think it’s valid to miss what could have been,” she said. “I know we feel the same way about our moms.”
I nodded slowly. Haley was the only person I’d ever been able to talk about that with because she understood. “Yeah. I think when she died, she took whatever warmth she had with her. My dad was never the same. And then when Evelyn died… I was just a reminder of them. And a disappointment.”
“You’re definitely not a disappointment. Remember what you used to say when we were in college? Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t want advice from? I don’t want to be dismissive, but they didn’t know you. And that is their loss because you’re one of the best people I know. Even when you do silly things.”
A soft smile appeared and I leaned back against the couch.
“I think we need a girls’ night,” Haley said and then she frowned. “Okay, so wait. Tell me about Hunter. Why did he do this?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But god. I think I’ve fallen for the asshole.”
She leaned back, her eyes widening. “Like for real?”
“For real,” I said. “I can’t fake this feeling. But I don’t know what to do about it. He told me we’re done.”
“You skipped that part,” Haley said.
Sometimes relaying info like this was hard for my brain to do in order. I told her about last night, about RK, this morning, and then what he said.
Haley snorted. “Oh god. Oh god, he’s such an idiot. It’s obvious he wants you. And now, looking back over the last three years, it’s so fucking clear. He pulled a Cam.”
“A what?” I asked.
“A Cam. He pulled a Cam. He had all these feelings and instead of being mature, he reverted back to acting like a dumbass.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I think he meant it. You should have seen his face.”
“What did Honey say?”
I narrowed my eyes on her. “She called him a dumbass too, and said if he hated me, he would have never done this.”
“Oh, he for sure does not hate you, Emma. That’s why we’ve all been so fucking confused.”
“What do you mean?”
Haley let out a nervous laugh. “Okay, so, confession. The entire reason we talked you two into working together for the festival was to try and make you like each other.”
“ Oh .” My mouth fell open. “This was all a ruse!”
“Yeah, and then y’all told us you were engaged ! Imagine our fucking shock! We have an entire group chat dedicated on the side to making the two of you be friends. Alice, Sarah, and I have been plotting.”
We stared at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing.
“Oh god,” I gasped. “I’m going to cry again, but I can’t because I’m dehydrated.”
Haley wiped her face again, laughing until she cried too. We heard the door open, but couldn’t stop our hysterics, even as Cam stepped into the living room.
The sheer panic on that man’s face sent us both over the edge again.
“I can’t tell if you’re crying or laughing,” he said, his voice full of terror.
“Both,” I wheezed. “Both.”
“I brought cheesecake, wine, and chicken wings.”
“Great,” Haley laughed. “Oh god. This is too much. Cam, I love you, but we need a girls’ night. Maybe go check on your dumbass brother.”
“What did he do?” Cam immediately asked. “Am I burying him? Did he upset you?”
Haley shook her head. “Nope. Not telling. Just go talk to him. And maybe don’t punch him, I have a feeling he’s not at his best right now.”
“Fuck,” Cam said. He rushed the bags to the kitchen and came to the back of the couch, kissing Haley quickly. “Okay. I love you, sunshine. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” Haley said.
We waited until he bolted out the door before melting into a fit of giggles again. Haley leaned against me with a sigh, sniffling.
“We should watch Practical Magic ,” Haley said.
It was my favorite movie. I nodded immediately. “Yes.”
“And eat cheesecake and chicken wings.”
“I’ll drink enough wine for both of us,” I said.
“Perfect,” she chuckled. “No pressure, but when are you coming clean everyone else?”
“Not tonight,” I said. “And well, Josh is still in town. And then there’s the weird letters...”
“The what ?”
Dammit. I’d forgotten to mention that. Most of the time my ADHD was my superpower, then there were times like this where all of my thoughts were scattered in the wind. “I started receiving threatening letters. Someone wants me to leave Citrus Cove.”
“And you took that to the police, right?”
“I… did not.”
Haley shook her head. “Hunter didn’t make you?”
“He tried,” I said. “It led to us arguing and then hurting each other’s feelings. It’s been a lot, Hal. I’m losing my mind.”
“Okay. Tomorrow, we have some shit to deal with. And you still need to talk to Hunter.”
“I’m not sure when,” I sighed. “He’s picking up RK tomorrow. God, I can’t believe I have feelings for a man who named his dog Roadkill. What do I even say to him? I’ve caused him enough stress. I mean, Josh tried to run him off the road.”
“Hmm. I think you need to talk to him, if you love him. Or think you love him.”
I thought about it.
I wanted a chance with him.
A real chance.
I wasn’t sure if he’d want it. I wasn’t sure if he’d be willing to try. But even with everything that had happened, I wanted to try. I wanted to know if anything between us was real.
“Let’s watch a movie and try to relax tonight,” Haley said. “And see what tomorrow brings.”
Even with everything I still had to face, I felt lighter knowing I didn’t have to live a lie any longer.