Chapter 13 | Her
The plane ride to New Delhi was a refreshing one. Mostly because the Pune air had my goose flesh on the alert almost all the time until I boarded my flight. But that doesn’t mean you want to spend any more time here than absolutely necessary.
Through the exit I spot Mahika approach me with a huge grin on her pretty face, and a bouquet of assorted flowers in her hand. And then I am engulfed in the warmest hug I’ve received in a long time.
“God! I missed you, too.” I look behind her, my mind alert.
There are no drones... No drones out there. But I am so used to them back here, it’s like I am seeing ghosts of them.
“Hello...” she waves a hand in front of my face, “You, okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just the... never mind.” Aversion is not going to make you feel better.
But that’s the only way that I can possibly manage to survive ten whole days in this city.
Apeksha is the only one who knows about the drones and the reason why I am resistant as hell for coming back home. There’s a sense of security in the knowledge that someone else knows about the bizarreness of my supposed stalker too.
And the farther I walk back into my old world, the greater the chances that I’ll have to meet him again. Well, technically I haven’t met him; but I’ve heard him... and felt his presence. Self-admission is painful but I never had the guts to face the asshole, even when he made multiple attempts to make sure I had no option but to see him in person.
Guess I’m just good at running away. Like you ran away this time... it’s taking you nowhere. And it’s getting tiring now that I am running in circles. Getting tossed like a ping pong ball.
Wish I could let them both meet and settle the war for themselves; that way I’d get rid of at least one of them.
WOULD IT BE WRONG TOsay that I’m missing Nakul; he hasn’t even been online once since that day.
Brushing a stray lock of hair from my face, sitting on the window of my bedroom, I wonder about the words he did not manage to tell me directly. Perhaps, this thing between us is a little more than casual attraction; and can’t deny but I am more than willing to find out more about it. Morals and principles tend to leave my body around this man more than I am caring to admit. Even with my upcoming engagement...
My overthinking is interrupted by a series of voices entering the walkway to my room.
“Did I tell you how bad I wanted to screw you when you ignored my messages last week... What was keeping you so busy that you did not have time for me?” Apeksha lights up the entire atmosphere wherever she goes; she has one of the brightest smiles I have seen in my entire life. “But you’ve changed, I mean look at you...”
“That’s exactly what I told her...” Mahika says from the corner of the room.
The smile from my face fades ever so slowly for them to notice.
“What? What change...” The sheepishness in my voice to hide the obvious tension.
“Change? You’re talking about change? You look sexy like you’re already knocked up...” She winks at my sister who laughs in response. But the blood from my face is draining fast.
My heart picks up an insane pace at the thought of being discovered. Like you’re already knocked up. I am... in fact. Misfortune bit me in the ass right before I could get my certificate for being the most chaste girl of the century.
But no one needs to know that. Even if that makes me a liar.
“See... already dreaming about making out with, what’s his name?” Apeksha says.
“Jiju’s name... Abhay. Abhay Verma.”
And the giggle that follows; I can’t control myself from cringing at the name.
The only three times we’ve actually had a real conversation, were so boring... I already concluded I’ve signed up for disaster. But my family is way too hopeful that we’ll eventually fall in love and adjust in the mediocrity of romance, in the same manner they did. The kind of faith Indian parents have on arrange marriages; I feel the need to puke!
“Let’s not start about that. Tell me about your boyfriend Apeksha? What’s he like?”
“He is the best one ever...”
“Yeah. I know that. I’ve heard that for like the fifth or sixth time?”
“But this time, he’s actually the one.” She flashes the promise ring on her finger, “We might be getting there soon. And you’ll have to be available when we plan out everything.”
I wish I could blush thinking about my fiancé in the same manner that she is right now.
Mahika interrupts cheerfully, “Wow! So, I get to dance in two marriages next year...”
“When are you planning to take him home?” I speak.
“Umm – don’t be mad at me, but I already did. Everything’s about set; only the official ceremony is pending.”
“Wow! Now tell me who changed...” The laugh that follows is of pride at my childhood crime buddy. At least, she has more courage than me.
“In fact, I wanted to introduce him to you, too. Was thinking we could go as couples in the Navratri party next week; he’ll be there. We could catch up on with some alumni gossip; I’ve heard at least half of them are in town for Navratri.” Apeksha’s eyes are wide in excitement. Maybe, I could go with her for a change; but then with my fiancé anywhere near me, will there be any scope for fun.
“You want me to come with Abhay... Really?” Exaggerating at the last word, I frown at the though.
I don’t know what is it about him that gets on my nerves every single time his name is mentioned. It may have something to do with the fact that he’s calculative in about everything he does. Like the first time we met, and he was enquiring about my career and job and how much I earn and how it will affect our finances if we get married, instead of trying to get to know me. All I wanted to do was throw up right on his face. It’s like he breathes and eats money to survive.
“Yes. What’s the harm in bringing a fiancé with you... especially if the party is only for the young population, no oldies. And that means a lot of things. Night club vibes, baby...”
A pang of fear and regret makes its way inside my veins as I remember what happened last time.
“I’ll think about it...can’t promise anything.” I lie when in fact, I’m quite certain to backout.
“Come on don’t be like that... you are my best friend; we’ll have fun, I promise. I know you’re not into this kind of thing, but just this once... I’ve already told him you’re coming.”
My agreement to her offer is a telltale of whatever the hell I am doing with my life, getting forced into every damn thing.
I wanted to be free. At least that was the plan when I decided to move away from my home town. Turns out my plan just boomeranged me back to where I began. And now here I am pleasing others rather than focusing on my goals.
SHOPPING WAS ONE OFmy favorite activities until I was told to go on an engagement dress hunt. The more they keep talking about Abhay and his likes, the more I feel the urge to tell them to marry him if they like him that much. Because I don’t feel anything about him except bewilderment at the amount of overconfidence he exhibits; while all he really has is an extremely conniving personality. Just not my type.
My last meeting with my fiancé, which was two days ago, he wore a graphic pink tee. A damned pink tee! With army print cargo which in itself was good, but the combo sucked big time. That was better considering all the other pictures he has of him on his social media page. The guy has close to zero sense of style.
And these people keep telling me that I need to up my fashion game. I mean I am here to impress a chimp... How good am I supposed to dress? He should be grateful I’m even doing this.
We settle on a pink lehenga with floral embroidery. I feel like it’s a little overkill, but that’s not what mummy says. I guess the fake smile must look natural on me.
By the time we leave the dress store, the milksop is already standing outside with his mom. Really sometimes I wonder what crime did I commit to get anywhere close to commitment with this clown.
We stop right outside the jewelry store and he’s already holding me by the waist; I mean this is too much, when you’ve only gone out with me like two times. As soon as a staff appears, he straightens up his curled spine, while I cringe in my seat. And before I could answer him about my liking for the ring, I get interrupted by his voice from beside me, smiling at me as he speaks, “I want you to show the best ones for my fiancée.” Like I was waiting for him to make my day by flashing that smug smile.
The staff pulls out a tray of exquisite rings from their store; every design displaying different types of cuts and designs. I keep looking and finally spot a beautiful piece, “I like this one,” I say trying it on my finger.
He looks from me to the ring with judgmental eyes until I understand the assignment; instantly losing the ring and cowering for rest of the time. Embarrassment is the only thing I tend to feel around this asshole.
The displayer shows almost all good pieces before finishing, “That’s all that we have in your budget sir.”
“Budget? I never said I’m on a budget.”
“I did. I don’t want a ring more expensive than that.” Because that’s the most logical thing to do, instead of letting them buy whatever the fuck he wants to. It doesn’t matter if I wear the biggest solitaire around here. It doesn’t matter as long as I feel the burden that I am feeling right now sitting with the wrong man.
The judgmental look flashes on his face again, subliming to disappointment before he turns towards the staff, “Bring me the best and most expensive ones you have. I can’t stand these mediocre pieces...”
The audacity of buying me an expensive engagement ring when he cannot show basic respect, especially in public. I make an excuse for fresh air and head straight out. They can buy whatever the shit they want to, I’m not going inside to get bullied.
My mind taunts me for not having the courage to face the fucker; getting yourself into such incriminating situations in the name of solution. I promise I’ll be patient next time; I promise not to be impulsive when I’m scared.
But that doesn’t change anything... I only have three days of whatever freedom must be. And then I realize how close I am to my demise... This is a mistake. It certainly is.
Three days to go... am I dying? Because this feels like suicide.