Him
Shards of glass and pieces of my now deceased cellphone decorate the floor as I watch her get into the cab. She spares one quick glance in my direction, and I duck behind the curtain; my fists clench, reopening the wound from last night.
Was my love not enough for her... She did not think once before leaving. Did I not punish her well... does she not understand this will have consequences... This is all a game to you.
I whisper through gritted teeth, “You’ll have to pay for this, muffin.”
My mind is in a state of chaos. I need to stop her from the fucking engagement; she’s uselessly paining herself into.
There is not a doubt in the entire fucking universe about who she is spending the rest of her life with. Then why go through the trouble of socially acceptable lowkey dating. It will only end in another bloodbath for her beautiful body.
The cab drives her away, and all I know is I need restraints for me to not follow her back to our home town, and fuck the horrible idea out of her. Pacing back and forth will not solve the problem but it’s when my hand comes crashing against the glass separator is when I truly understand; anger is winning and logic is losing the battle right now.
And the stakes are quite high to lose it; I contemplate looking at my wrecked hands dripping blood. Plucking at a few bigger shards, I grab a towel, wrap it around the wound and leave for my cabin.
THE CABIN IS brIMMINGwith sounds of laughter like these people are on drugs themselves tonight.
And I am in no freaking mood to even talk. God! there’s no place even in hell! Where do I go to ease my despair?
Hoping to hop into my room and lock myself inside without disturbing the gang of chitty-chatty girls that my friends have become tonight, I head straight in.
“Hey... hey where are you rushing lover boy?” Black calls behind me. The jerk always finds it pleasurable to irritate the fuck out of me whenever I am pissed. “You missing all the fun because of your...”
“I’m not in the mood.” I retort pacing directly towards the bedroom.
Drinks or drugs. None are going to be of any use to me. I need to work on a fresh plan, now that clearly my last one has failed. She needs more trauma maybe. Or chivalry. What will it take? My head is a mess and I am losing my fucking patience.
The animalistic grunts of a man, brings my attention back to the reality.
“Naksh, what the hell!?” Mira wraps the sheet around her and I shut my eyes tight in a breath.
“What the hell are you two doing in here?”
“That’s exactly what I want to know” Kabir responds.
“What do you mean? It’s my...”
“What do I mean... you okay dude? Should we rather be in your room...?” His pissed voice cuts through.
I open my eyes to look around the room and guilt fills my already vexed mind. But I would have killed if someone interrupted me at such an hour, so the bitter stare is hardly inappropriate.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t realize... I’ll just leave.” I say rushing back out.
Better to sit with the guy gang than be alone tonight; I’m not in the right mind to do basically anything remotely logical right now.
I go back in the living space where all the other jerks are drinking their favorites. Taking a seat, I spot Black and Hades chuckling after exchanging funny looks.
“Looks like someone saw Jack’s hammer,” Black’s sarcastic comment makes both of them crack a laugh, while Kraken muffles his chuckles in the corner.
A frown is all it earns from me. “Where’s Alpha?”
“Why? Want a look at his shaft too? So, this is what heartbreak does to you?”
And they crack again. This time Kraken couldn’t hold his giggle, but he still gets up and makes us both a round of neat.
“I wish you knew what it does...” I whisper to myself.
“You never told us you were not coming yesterday?” Kraken hands me over the glass and sits beside me.
“Something urgent came up...”
“Something urgent came up?” Black mimics, “And why do I get a feeling that the urgent matter is five foot six with a pretty addictive face.”
“Divit, you really want to die?” Exasperation lining my threat.
Not that I really would; he is more of a brother than a childhood friend. He knows me literally inside out; from school, to puberty, to girls... my love for bikes and computer nerdiness, we went through everything together. From the knowledge of reasons for my protectiveness towards my sister, to the pain of losing my mother. My insecurities, weaknesses and my obsession; he knows all of that. We have shared about all the tragedies of our lives together. There are very few things I would not do to save this guy.
He finds my annoyance amusing; the bastard he becomes once he’s done drenching himself in alcohol. Hades eyes him to shut the fuck up. Finally, someone who found my agony not worth laughing about.
“We had a progress last night. Seems we were right. There’s a whole bunch of new peddling chains set up here in the city. They are setting up the base here that may be due to the quietness of this city in terms of substance abuse, compared to the metros.” Hades says.
“They must’ve been alerted after the raid. The seizure made to the news but the quantity they exposed was only six of the twenty kilograms we left for them to take up. Cocaine problem isn’t the only issue here, by the information Divit was digging into on the dark net.” Kraken says, “Last night, Rayan and I were on this social group, almost six kilos of heroin and cannabis are being brought here in approximately the next few months via various ways into the city.”
“You both need to look for other suppliers...if those are not working out the way you want to. I’ll start the trailing tomorrow and get you numbers.” I say and he shakes his head in agreement.
“Call Alpha first thing tomorrow morning to prep the jammer. We might need it soon.”
When we are done discussing matters and leg pulling, courtesy to my childish bestie, I call it a night and head back to my room. The correct one this time.
Shutting my bedroom door behind me, I realize it was not a bad decision after all to sit back with my friends for the drink. Clearing up my mind was important for the workspace my inner demon needs.
Now I have two very important things on my agenda for the week. First, is to hack down the telegram group and get number names whatever I can find, so the network is cleared for us to start tracking on the trails.
Second, is to pack the shit up here as fast as I can so I can go back for my high. I need to be close to her more than ever now.
If she was my obsession before; she is my addiction now that I’ve had a taste of her.
And I’ll need my shot soon.