Chapter 41 | Her
There are times in your life when you have to do things that you don’t want to. Go places you don’t want to go to. Be with people you don’t want to be with. And say things that you know will make self-hatred a little easier once you through it.
It must be one of those times in my life; it can’t be denied that I don’t want to be anywhere in the same universe as this monster. And as much as I hate to admit, my best bet might be the other one walking out of the crazy situation he’s been met with.
The pain in the voids of his eyes when he saw me obey my new Master was conflicting his lifeless features. Not that I did not notice the way they shone when his gaze fell on me for the first time...years back or today.
The way his eyes glowed is unmissable even when you don’t look at him directly; it seems blinding even in the periphery.
But the butterflies it used to once incite are probably dead now. All it does to me now is flare up my insides at the misfortune of being the object of his affection. After all, it’s the one thing that made every other misery walk straight into my life.
I knew he would never want to look at me in the condition I am right now, but that must have come to him with the sense of ownership he felt towards me. Him walking out...looking away is a confirmation. But I had an idea, what would make him stay a bit longer...make the bargain easier.
I lock eyes with him, getting a grip on my emotions when he turns back, “I d – don’t want to l – leave. I want to – I want to stay with Master.”
Probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever uttered in my life. And just like that... two hearts break at once... noiselessly.
“Czarina, don’t be nervous. Nobody can disobey you... while you’re with me. Tell him clearly...” His accent is so strong; a clear sign that he’s beyond frustrated.
I try the hardest not to sound the way these two make me feel. I am not an object to be played around with. Besides I need to stay here for the plans I’ve made for this duo.
“I like it here. I don’t want to leave...” My features devoid of any emotion.
“What the hell are you talking about? Disha, you don’t need to be afraid –”
I grit my teeth, interrupting his useless solace midway, “I am not leaving, Naksh – Nakshatra.”
“Why?” He retorts.
The question I might not be able to answer at the moment. Not with King listening. Can’t give him the satisfaction of making Nakul’s name truly leave my shattered heart.
“Because I want to be here... this is my new home. My master’s home.”
He shakes his head in disagreement, “That’s not an answer.”
I try sounding bland, “I’ve already told you what I feel.”
“Really? And what made you make up your mind so soon?”
“You did!” The words leave my mouth before any second thoughts.
Hurt lingers beneath the cool demeanor and I realize what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to hide as much as I am. Both of us... in the same fucking condition. We can’t break in front of this abuser.
“I did?” Nakul’s jaws clench. Concealing his emotions, especially towards me, has never been easy for him.
King shifts beneath me; seemingly enjoying every second of this conversation.
I look away in response, while Nakul continues to search my face looking for the answers he expects.
“One month...and you’ve adjusted so well that now you’re so done with me that you want to fucking stay. What has he threatened you with?”
King’s hold on my waist tightens a bit, “Why not try something with a bit more basic manners Naksh? Less swearing...”
But the glare from his eyes as they still linger on me is too much. Heat flows throughout my body and I cower from the constant push and pull between both these creatures. He’s not taking his eyes off of me and that’s probably pissing off King more than anything. Even more than the swearing.
And whatever falls on him is unreadable. As much as I know him, that’s possibly only the silence before the thunder. A rising storm in its wake. His jaws clench, but only a word escapes, “Fine!” making me wonder what’s going on in his head.
Dead silence. I dare not move a muscle. That’s all that goes about for a few immeasurably long minutes, before King breaks the stillness.
“I guess that’s sums up what’s going to happen. You’re joining me here. And Rose...” King’s eyes sear my flesh as he watches me proudly, “She stays with me. She’ll travel with me.”
Nakul laughs viciously before pulling out another cigarette and lighting it up between his lips, “You know it’s obvious that you would expect me to join since you had an edge on me. But seems my girlfriend...” his eyes trace my face savagely, “She enjoys your company more than mine. And since the edge is gone, why would I want to join you? I mean, I already hate you so much more now.”
“Actually, you know what, you’re right... the edge is indeed gone. Perhaps if I shoot her right here... that might solve the problem. What do you say Naksh?”
The words are a direct threat. I suddenly feel like the civilian stuck in the middle of a bloody war.
“You wouldn’t do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” King tugs on my chain making me get up on my feet before pushing me towards the wall. His pistol aiming at my head, “I could kill her this very moment and don’t even get me started that you thought I would believe if you said that you did not mind. Don’t bluff with me Naksh. I am your father; I know what will and will not affect you. And this girl here...unfortunately still has a filthy amount of hold on you, son.”
Nakul leans back, face still devoid of interest. “Try me. I know this might come out as a surprise, but I’ve already had enough of what I chased her for. And to be honest, she’s quite a masterpiece. But it’s not worth it, with all the poison that she’s cooked...all this hatred... its insulting. You know what, I can’t do this anymore. You can keep her or you can go ahead and kill her.”
The words cut deeper than his trek knife could ever do. For the moment I contemplate whether any of this was even fair; now, would it matter if I just died?
He shrugs emotionlessly, “Go ahead... Shoot her!” Not the slightest tinge on his face of anything that ever existed between us.
And suddenly the realization hits in my head. Hard.
My guts twist at the thought of being the scapegoat. King won’t shoot me... it won’t be so easy. Because he wants his son weak on me, so he can use it to his advantage and killing me will make him more difficult than ever.
“So, you really have made up your mind... good! Because it would be sad if you still wanted her. And since you’ve proven that you’re in fact worthy of being my heir, lets celebrate. Let’s celebrate by first avenging your insult.”
Nakul’s face goes frigid as he straightens himself up, narrowing his eyes, listening closely to what the bastard has to say.
“She’s done it a thousand times before... but to be done by you and your friends will have so much more effect than any of my business contacts. You’ll show her, her place. And your friends...”
All our eyes turn towards Vuk walking in with two men, his face uncovering as King speaks.
“...what were their names,” Tsking while a devilish smile curls to the monster’s lips, “...Doesn’t matter. They’ll help you in making sure she suffers and dies a thousand deaths for insulting my heir. After all your insult is my insult. And I don’t let people insult me without consequences.”
King turns towards me, eyes shining wildly, “Rosa, guess you’ll have to endure another round of punishment. And it’ll be by far the most entertaining show ever, because this...this is going to hurt so much more.”
His laughter makes my blood run cold, as the trio exchange determined looks; and I don’t fear the abuse anymore...I fear the people. I fear losing the only bits of sanity left inside my head.
My lover and my friends. This is truly the end for me.