43 – Lumberjack Lunch Reminders
Casey
“Thank you so much, ladies! That was a great session, and you should all be so proud of yourselves,” I say gently to my last class before Christmas. It is officially my birthday, too, and a happy buzz is keeping my smile firmly in place as I count down the minutes to tonight. Jessie has something planned that he said was a surprise, and I am literally bouncing on the ground in excitement to see what it is.
“Tell me, tell me, tell me!” I had pestered him last night and this morning. Following him around his apartment as he shook his head and laughed at me. I even waltzed around naked, refusing to let him touch me unless he told me his secret. The bastard was still too strong-willed and managed to get me to fold. Pulling out that magic dick, stroking himself while staring hungrily at my body. I relented, of course.
“Have you filled any of those trainer spots yet for the self-defense classes?” Elle asks as she follows me out of the studio.
“I have a friend who has volunteered to help, so I might be able to get classes up and running first thing in the new year.” I fill her in on Ethan’s offer.
“Oh, that is so exciting!” She claps her hand, and when we round to reception, my heart does a little happy dance in my chest. Unable to stop any of my excitement, I skip through the waiting area and leap into Jessie’s arms with a squeal, planting my lips on his.
His big lumberjack arms catching me with ease, and he laughs into our kiss.
“Happy to see you too, sunshine.” I cover his face with kisses because it still shocks me that this guy is still around after the way I ragdolled the crap out of his trust, but he looks at me with those eyes, and says things with that delectable mouth, and then it no longer shocks me, because I feel the love Jessie has for me deep to my bones. The one thing I know I never have to be unsure of in my life is how much he wants me, how important I am to him. That I am a priority and always will be.
“How come you’re here? I thought I was seeing you tonight?” He drops me back on my feet and gives me an incredulous look.
“You eat your lunch?”
“Yes,” I lie.
“No, she didn’t.” Elle, that traitor. I hit her with a look over my shoulder and she winks at me, disappearing into the studio for her next class.
“Okay, in my defense, I assumed your plans tonight involved food. I didn’t want to spoil it.” And I bought a new set of incredible lingerie and I didn’t want to be bloated, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. He narrows his eyes at me and pulls a paper bag from his pocket, grabbing my wrist and forcing me to take it from him.
“Eat it.” Shivers run down my spine, and I have to bite my lip. In an effort to distract him, I reach up and push his messy hair from his forehead.
“Mmm, I like it when you boss me around.” He groans, his eyes rolling until they’re closed, and then he grips the front of my sweater and pulls me against him, slamming his lips onto mine.
I relax against him, twirling my arms around his neck and melting into his delicious lips. Before I can get too lost in them, he pulls back slightly and says against my lips, “Eat. Your. Lunch.”
“Or else what?” I challenge, and the stupid sexy man hits me with a grin that has desire ruining my panties.
“Or else I won’t eat you later.” He winks, and I almost combust from how hot he makes me.
“No fair.” I smack his chest but turn and head for the staff room. I feel him hot on my heels, and when I spin to question him more about tonight, the studio entrance opens and the words die on my tongue.
“Grace?” Jessie spins, and I feel him go rigid next to me, bless his soul. He knows what had happened last time she was here, and he was ready to storm over to her place and set her straight. So that he doesn’t do or say anything stupid, I walk ahead of him and stand in front of her. Ready for a fight, if that’s what she came here for. Except the closer I get, the smaller she looks, sunken in on herself, dark circles under her eyes.
“Grace, what’s wrong?”
“Can we talk?” she whispers, her eyes still avoiding mine. I turn to look at Jessie and his frown pulls deeper, but he nods. Taking a few steps up to me, kissing the top of my head with a cheeky slap to my ass, he takes the lunch bag. “I’ll wait in there,” he says and points to the staff room.
“What’s up?” I ask, not moving from where we stand. I’m not overly interested in taking her into a private room to be scolded again, and she must sense this because she looks around the room nervously before she shifts on her feet, avoiding eye contact with me at every chance she gets.
“I’m sorry, Casey,” she practically whispers.
“Sorry, what was that?” I heard her, but I’m going to need her to repeat herself so I know I’m not imagining things. She looks up at me incredulously before rolling her eyes and speaking louder.
“I said, ‘I’m sorry.’”
“What’s this apology for, then?”
“All of it.” She sighs and runs a hand down her face. I stare at her for a moment, and this time, she holds my gaze. Lets me see it all, a window to her heart, and it has my shoulders slumping forward. I nod at her and tilt my head for her to follow, pulling her into an empty studio. I close the door and we sit on a mat each.
“I have been so rotten to you, Case.”
“You have.” She looks up at me and grunts before she fidgets in her lap.
“But you’re also smothering. You always have been,” she says, but there is no hatred in her words, just acquiescence. Like it’s a fact.
“Sorry?” I ask with a scoff because, excuse me?!
“Don’t give me that. You have forever been like this; it just really put me over the edge after everything I’ve been trying to handle, and I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“Okay, I don’t need to hear any of this,” I scold her and go to leave, but she raises a hand.
“Wait, just… I’m not saying any of this properly. Let me try, okay?” I analyze her for a beat and roll my eyes, plopping myself down on the mat again.
“Happy birthday, by the way,” she says, pulling her lips into a smirk. I give her a tight smile but wave my hand for her to speed this along. She takes a deep breath and prepares.
“You’re a super annoying people pleaser.” I rear back at the slap.
“Okay, thanks for coming by to tell me that?” I go to leave again, and she stands, grabbing my wrist, and I pull it from her grip. “You came all this way to apologize and then slap me across the face? I am well fucking aware that I have an issue with helping people who don’t deserve it. Sorry I cared about you, Grace. I’ll remember not to moving forward.”
“Casey, stop!” she shouts at me, and I know the whole fucking studio can hear us now. I’m surprised my broody caveman isn’t storming in to save the day. “What I meant is, you’re always trying so hard to pretend like things don’t affect you. You smooth things over, let go of shit that pisses you off. You never make people feel bad for inconveniencing you or insulting you. You try to be there to fix shit you have no business fixing. You try to make everything perfect and try to be perfect for everyone, and growing up, that was so fucking exhausting,” she says everything in one breath before she closes her eyes and breathes deeply. I recognize the familiar centering breath and graciously allow her the moment to get her bearings. Opening her eyes again, they seem a little sadder but a lot more sure as she continues. “Then you kept doing it as adults, and it just made me constantly feel like a failure. Mom and Dad were always comparing my shittiness to your perfectness, and I resented you for it.” She breathes hard again, her cheeks pink with her frustration, and I have to take a deep breath myself, biting my tongue, giving her the room to continue.
“I just wanted you to be my sister. I wanted you to mess up and complain like I did. I wanted you to get annoyed and frustrated, to throw a tantrum and yell at our parents. To steal my shit and pretend like you didn’t when I caught you. I wanted a sister, and instead it was like I just got another mom.” She throws her hands in the air, all the calm breathing out the window as I watch her temper rise with her voice.
“Grace, you act like I had a choice. You were a mess as a teenager,” I shout back.
“I was a normal teenager.” She rolls her eyes.
“Okay, then. Normal, sure. But because our parents were so busy fighting with you and fighting each other because of you, they missed dance recitals. Mom forgot to pick me up from study group. One time they forgot to feed me dinner because you ran off and they spent the entire night worried about you. I barely existed to them anymore. Why the hell do you think I learned to cook so goddamn early?” My voice gets progressively louder and I see the way recognition hits her face, the way her mouth drops open and her eyes widen. She shakes her head and goes to speak, but I interrupt her.
“The only way I could help stop their arguments was to make sure there was nothing to fight about. So, I cleaned up your messes. I made sure I fed myself dinner, packed our lunches. I organized my own rides to dance and to the library. I kept track of your keys. I put away your laundry. When they weren’t fighting each other over you or fighting you, I had my parents back.” I take a few steps forward and jut a finger into her chest, noticing the tears pooling in her eyes, having thoroughly shut her up.
“I just wanted a sister, too, but you were too busy being a rotten teenager that you missed that memo as well. Sorry that I only managed to love you in return.” My voice lowers and I go to storm out of the room, but she grips my arm and pulls me against her, throwing her arms around my torso and squeezing me in a hug.
Shock has my arms out by my sides, trying to understand what’s happening. It isn’t until I feel her body shudder against me and I hear her sob that I return the hug and wrap my arms around her tightly.
“Casey, I’m so sorry,” she says between sobs and I just hold her as she cries. After a few moments, she pulls back and I wipe a few of her tears. She does the same to me, and I hadn’t realized I was crying at all.
“For the record, I know I have a problem with giving more than I should. Jessie is actively trying to stop me from doing that.” A little laugh leaves my lips, and I have to wipe my slobbery nose from my tears. Grace steps back and does the same, a little laugh leaving her, too.
“Jessie Jenkins, hey?” she says, a little smile hitting her lips, and she nudges my shoulder with her fist.
I nod and release a dreamy sigh, remembering that my big grump is out there waiting for me. “Yeah, he’s great.”
Grace laughs and nods. “I’ll say. I had a huge crush on him back in the day.” That has my eyes darting to her in a frown, and after a moment, she bursts out laughing and lands her hands on her knees. I laugh with her, but also, umm…? She must read the trepidation in my face because she rolls her eyes and waves a hand at me.
“He’s stupid good looking. Any teenage girl was going to crush on him.” Fair, also true. “I love Evan and I’m not about to cut your grass, Case. I was just poking fun. I’m happy for you.” She squeezes my arm and I smile, nodding at her.
“I am sorry, Casey. I didn’t mean to snap at you all those times. I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I had no idea all my drama caused so many problems for you. I… I miss you and I want to be sisters again, or like sisters for the first time. I feel like we have missed out on something by being who we were.” Her face drops as she speaks, pain and sadness, and I hug my arms around my waist.
“I’m sorry, too. For smothering you, for pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. I am trying to be better at that. I miss being your sister, too. I do really want to be able to hang out and just bitch and moan instead of walking on eggshells.” She laughs lightly, nodding her head.
“Umm… also, about the studio—”
“Oh, I never saw that lawyer,” I clear up.
“Oh, thank god.” She laughs gently, and her eyes bulge with gratitude. “I do love working with you, Case. I love this job, and I love the studio. I really didn’t want it to go.” I nod, knowing. I was hoping she’d come around because I equally didn’t want our partnership to end.
“Let’s be better sisters?” she asks, and I pull her into another hug that she returns.
“We can certainly try. As long as you stop being a bitch.” I joke and she hoots a laugh before withdrawing and rolling her eyes at me. We head for the door. “Ugh, you’re already going to be insufferable. Maybe I should take it back.” I laugh with her, and as we open the door to leave, I’m not in the slightest bit surprised to find Jessie leaning against the wall opposite the room. A deep frown on his face instantly assessing me before leveling Grace with a stern look, his arms across his chest, his body vibrates with a menacing energy and I have to smother a giggle.
“Geez, he never outgrew the predator vibe, did he?” Grace says under her breath, and I shake my head, no longer able to hide my smile. I wink at him and he nods slightly before disappearing back around the corner, and I walk Grace to the door.
“You coming back to class soon?” She nods enthusiastically.
“I am! I…” She clears her throat and looks around the room. “I started seeing a therapist. For the grief. Evan and I are seeing a fertility doctor, and we’re going to wait but try again soon. But I want to get back to a normal life.”
“I’m so proud of you, Grace. Your usual classes are ready for you when you are.” She lets go of a big breath. We say our goodbyes and my heart is practically beating out of my chest with joy as I skip back into the staff room, finding Jessie scrolling on his phone. It’s promptly discarded when I enter. I walk up to him and he pulls me to stand between his legs from where he sits on the dining chair, his hands tickling the backs of my thighs as his eyes scan my entire face.
“You playing guard dog?” I tease.
“I heard her shouting. I was getting ready to intervene,” he says, a lethal air to his words.
“I can handle Grace,” I assure him, brushing his hair off his forehead, the perpetual mess that it is. His grip tightens on my thighs and he pulls me closer.
“I know you can. You just don’t have to handle it alone anymore,” he says gently, and I bite my lip to hide my smile. His eyes catch there and I watch them darken with desire.
“I’m looking forward to tonight,” I whisper, and he grunts in response.
“I’m thinking about skipping straight to dessert.”
His voice oozes with a dirty promise and I lean down to whisper in his ear, “But then you’ll miss the lacy gift I got you.” When I pull back, I’m thoroughly satisfied with his pain as he bores those stunning eyes into me and something like a growl works its way up his throat.
“It is inappropriate for me to be hard as a rock at your workplace, Ace.” I giggle and walk backward, pulling him up to stand. He wastes no time shoving the lunch back in my face. “And I’m not leaving until you finish this. You need to eat.”
I roll my eyes at him. “You’re no fun.”
“I’ll be plenty fun later, with you spread out below me when it’s my turn to eat.” I feel my cheeks blush, and I have to swallow the moan his dirty words elicit from me.
Jessie, motherfucking, Jenkins.