14. Res
14
Res
J axson’s father does little more than ignore me once we’ve arrived back in Chicago.
His house staff helps get me settled into my living suite. It’s complete with a living room, a small kitchenette, an expansive bedroom with an ensuite, and a balcony that expands across the outside of the bedroom and the living room. Then, after little more than asking me if my suite is to my liking, Jaxson's father is no longer concerned about me.
While I was pissed about Jaxson’s father forcing me to Chicago to live in his mansion from the beginning, I’m more pissed about the fact that him doing so has reduced me to nothing more than a pawn in two men’s chess game against each other. Or maybe a queen is a more apt description. Regardless, now I’m not just pissed; I’m indignant. Jaxson’s father could at least pretend he was interested in me. He could at least pretend he wanted to get to know me. He could at least pretend this was more than some stupid test of loyalty and obedience by coveting something that he saw belonged to his son just because he could .
I should be grateful. Him leaving me totally alone is more than I could have hoped for. He could be doing worse and try to mold me into the image of what he wants me to be with no thought or regard for what I want or need. With no thought to noticing and paying attention to who I am.
But even worse than all that is the boredom.
With Jaxson, even after he made me leave my job, I always had something to do. Framing my brother for murder. Planning the murder. Jaxson’s crash course on the people I’d be meeting and how I needed to act when I met his father. The funeral. Planning to delegitimize his father. High Demand. And when I wasn’t doing that, I had books and the internet to amuse myself.
Now, there’s none of that.
For obvious reasons, I can’t work on High Demand and finish the interviews for the series exposing the Sovereignty and Jaxson’s father’s sordid rise to power. In the five minutes I was able to steal with Jaxson before I was whisked off, he suggested that he and Magdalene handle the rest of the interviews and posting. But I insisted otherwise. These people are scared the Sovereignty is going to come after them. It took me long hours of conversation to convince these people to talk. To get them to trust me. They know me. If I turn it over to someone else, they’ll think they were set up. Not having time to convince me otherwise, Jaxson assured me that he’d find a way to get my equipment to me within a couple of weeks.
Not having High Demand to work on already gives me a surplus of free time, but normally I would catch up on reading, which leads me to the next reason I have nothing to do .
I was under no illusion that my internet use wouldn’t be monitored, just like I’m positive that all my personal electronics and phone are bugged to read my messages, listen to my calls, and monitor my search histories. What I wasn’t expecting was for all my favorite websites to be blocked: fandom sites, book purchasing sites, apps. Hell, I can’t even access my fucking bank account.
I innocently ask a house staff member about it. They inform me that if the sites I frequent aren’t on the approved list, I can give Jaxson’s father’s personal secretary a list to give to him to look over. Then, if he approves, he’ll tell the IT team to unrestrict them.
I sincerely doubt that Jaxson’s father is going to unrestrict my favorite online bookstore so I can download dark spicy romances. Even if I thought he would, I’m not a child who’s emotionally fragile. I can decide on my own what websites I want and need to access. It’s not shocking by any means that he’s this controlling of those who live under his household. I’ve spoken to cult survivors long enough to know that it’s common in cults and high demand religions. In a lot of ways, I was lucky that my parents allowed me as much unfettered access to the internet as they did. I was lucky that I was so curious, and my curiosity helped to combat the brainwashing, which ultimately helped me be brave enough to recognize when I was being treated unfairly so I could leave so young.
All that said, I didn’t expect to feel this constricted. Jaxson couldn’t care less what books I read and what websites I go to beyond using the information he gets from them to keep track of me and what I’m doing, so I can’t disappear on him again. But also, he knows nothing about the Sovereignty’s doctrine being real. His father, on some level, believes in his own delusions and believes that he’s protecting my mind, which somehow also protects my womb and, by proxy, protects the minds of the future children that I’m going to have and makes them blank slates to be programmed with the Sovereignty’s indoctrination. Or something like that.
I’d be losing my mind about it all if not for the fact that despite Jaxson’s father ignoring me, the rest of the family isn’t. No sooner than the house staff has finished helping me put all my things away does Lilah find me and excitedly tell me that she can’t wait to get to know me. She plans to schedule a coffee date with the second conduit, Adah. But she’s out of the country right now, which is why I haven’t met her yet.
In the meantime, Lilah makes it a point to invite me to have afternoon coffee with her just a couple of days into my stay. When I arrive at the gazebo in the garden that Lilah told me to go to, I’m surprised by two things. The first being that there’s actually food, even though it’s not long past noon. Cream cheese Danishes and a charcuterie board. The second is that Landon is there with Caleb, keeping watch. Keeping watch for what, I’m not sure.
“Lauressa,” Landon says enthusiastically.
Lilah’s face lights up when she sees me. “There you are. Belatedly, I realized I should have come to get you and escorted you out here. But you didn’t have too much trouble, did you? I know the gardens can be confusing.”
“No,” I say as I take a seat. Then I say, “There’s food. I thought…”
Lilah huffs. “No one follows that rule.”
“You don’t,” Landon says wryly.
Lilah replies, “I don’t, and neither do a lot of people. Besides, at least two meals a day. Doctor’s orders.”
“Does the Oracle know about your doctor’s orders?”
“What he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him. Besides, why should I involve him in women’s business?” she asks.
“This is a lot of food for doctor’s orders,” Landon points out.
“Come on. You’re not going to make me eat alone,” Lilah says in a tone that tells me she knows he’s not because he never does.
“The only reason I do is because you keep bribing me with these damn Danishes from the farmer’s market,” Landon mutters as he takes one of the said items for himself.
Lilah looks at me and says, “Please. Help yourself.”
Figuring that there’s no way they can use this to get me into trouble somehow, and if they try, I’ll have the excuse of being new, I do help myself. I take one of the cream cheese Danishes and on the first bite, instantly know why Landon can be so easily bribed by them.
“Good, right?” Landon asks with a smirk.
I’m too busy taking another bite to answer.
“So, how have things been so far?” Lilah asks. “Are you settling in?”
“Yes,” I say simply.
“Now don’t be like that,” Lilah says. “You can be truthful with us. I know it’s hard to keep up with all the rules and figure out what’s acceptable and what’s not, but I promise, you won’t get in too much trouble.”
I huff. “It’s the too much trouble I’m worried about. ”
Lilah laughs. “There’s no way you can get in more trouble than this knucklehead,” she says, nodding to her son.
“Mom,” Landon practically whines.
“Anyway, you can be truthful,” Lilah adds.
One of the many rules of surviving a cult is to trust no one. But also, it would be too suspicious not to have questions or observations. Which means I have to fall into the habit of speaking without saying anything at all.
“I’m bored,” I admit truthfully. Because that can’t hurt. “I’ve always had a job or volunteer work or something to do, but now I don't. And all my favorite websites are blocked.”
“What websites?” Lilah asks.
“Reading sites,” I say vaguely. “I have a few subscriptions.”
“So do I,” Lilah says with a mischievous smile. “We’ll have to trade recommendations.”
I take a sip of my latte and mutter, “I don’t think you have the same taste as me…”
Lilah smirks. “I was young once. I can imagine.”
“If anything,” Landon begins, “you’re not prepared for what she reads. Straight filth.”
It’s clear he’s only teasing his mother.
“The Oracle approved it?” I ask.
Lilah rolls her eyes. “The Oracle doesn’t approve anything. He doesn’t even look at those stupid lists or our internet history. Just give it to his personal secretary, and she’ll give it right to IT. She’s a sweet girl. Younger than you. I was surprised Abdiel didn’t take her as a conduit. Adah was his personal secretary once too. ”
If that’s true and Lilah isn’t lying to get me into trouble, I suppose I’ll go ahead and make that list after all. I still can’t access any of my High Demand stuff, but at least I can get on social media and my reading apps again.
Still.
“If I make the list, could you give it to them for me?” I ask. If what Lilah says is true, she’ll have no problem at all giving the secretary the list.
Lilah and Landon exchange a glance before bursting out into laughter.
I look between the two of them, confused. “What?”
“Oh, to think I was worried I’d have to look out for a sweet girl like you,” Lilah says. “I was afraid the politics of the Sovereignty might chew you up and spit you out, but you’ve got just the right amount of cautiousness.”
“More like Jaxson warned her not to trust anyone, didn’t he?” Landon asks dryly.
I open and close my mouth, not sure what to say to that.
“You don’t have to lie. We all know Jaxson is one paranoid motherfucker who thinks his own mother would stab him in the back if she were alive to do it,” Landon says.
“Landon! Language,” Lilah chides.
“What? He is! Everyone knows it.”
“That’s true. But… he has reason to. After what happened to his mother and… his sister,” Lilah adds in a low tone.
“What happened to his sister?” I ask .
Lilah shakes her head. “Nothing that matters. From the Supreme Force we all come, and to the Supreme Force we all return. Regardless, Jaxson’s paranoia is for good reason. There are a lot of people who would do anything to see the Sovereignty fall or get to the Oracle. But you don’t have to worry about that here. We’re family.”
“And if you can’t trust your family, who can you trust?” Landon mutters.
“Regardless, I’d be happy to take the list for you if it makes you feel better,” Lilah says.
“Thanks,” I say, suddenly having many more questions than I initially had upon coming here.
“Of course,” Lilah says with a smile.
“Having all my websites and apps will go a long way to making sure I’m not bored. But I still need to find something to do outside the house,” I state.
“Oh. There’s plenty. You’ve lived in Georgia all your life, right? Chicago is such a beautiful city. I’ll have to take you to all my favorite places,” Lilah says.
“Good. You can drag her around instead of me," Landon mutters.
“How else are you going to find me a daughter-in-law if I don’t drag you around? If it were up to you, you’d go fooling around somewhere dragging poor Caleb around with you.”
“I wouldn’t have to drag him anywhere,” Landon says and then yells to his bodyguard standing some yards away, “Right, Caleb?”
“Right,” the man says back, though there’s no way he heard us from this far .
Before mother and son can begin their chiding again, I say, “Thanks. And… I guess that will keep me sufficiently busy. But really, I was thinking more about getting a job.”
“The conduits don’t work. The Oracle provides for us,” Lilah explains.
“That’s nice and all, but I’d rather have a way to make my own money.”
“There’s no need,” Lilah insists. “Even if the Oracle allowed you to, it wouldn’t be for long. As soon as you take your rites, you’ll have your bonding ceremony with the Oracle, and then you’ll probably be too busy with babies of your own to work.”
Landon gives me a sympathetic look and says, “Come on now, Mom. Lauressa is in my generation.”
“Yes. This new independent woman type,” Lilah says with a scowl. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. You’re in the company of all these new-age women in the Sovereignty.”
“She’s just upset because they’re all so busy making careers, they don’t have time to be her daughter-in-law,” Landon says. “But if you’re that pressed for something to do, I’m sure Magdalene will be happy to—”
“Magdalene will be happy to do what?” said woman asks as she approaches the gazebo where we are.
“Happy to give Lauressa something to do so she’s not bored all day,” Landon says. “What are you doing here?”
“To borrow Lauressa for a moment if you don’t mind,” Magdalene says .
“Is this about her rites?” Lilah asks. “You don’t have to take her anywhere to discuss that.”
“Actually, Jaxson warned me in advance that Lauressa was going to be bored to death with nothing to do. So I’m here to show her the ropes at the store. I heard she worked in finance. We desperately need someone to keep track of the books there since that last girl doing it got married,” Magdalene says.
“Can’t it wait until another day?” Lilah asks with a pout.
“I wish it could. But this is the only free time I have to get her caught up to speed.”
Lilah sighs. “Yes. Because you can’t sit still for five minutes either to attract a husband. Hm?”
“All in the Supreme Force’s good time,” Magdalene says. “I’m content to wait.”
“You have to do more than wait. You have to slow down and at least act interested in someone. The Supreme Force doesn’t just work on osmosis,” Lilah chides.
“Get your son married first and then worry about me, Lilah,” Magdalene says with a smirk.
Landon raises his hands and says, “Nope. No one gets to be worried about me getting married until Jaxson is married off. He’s older than me, so he has to get married first. It’s the natural order of things.”
Magdalene discreetly leads me away while mother and son continue to bicker.
“You’re a lifesaver,” I say once we’re in the car and she’s driving me to wherever this foundation is .
“Lilah and Landon can be a lot. But they’re harmless,” Magdalene says with a smile.
“Not for that. I was enjoying myself. But for getting me out of the house. It feels like a prison.”
“It’s supposed to be.”
She’s right. It’s supposed to be my prison. That house is a dark, haunting castle that I’m trapped in, except my evil stepmother is my prince’s evil father.
The store is only a twenty-minute drive away, and when we get there, a woman is waiting for us. She’s young—maybe even my age. She has hair almost as dark as my own, dressed in dress trousers, a shiny blouse, and a jacket, with her hair pulled into a slicked-back bun. She looks like she’s about to walk into her corporate job. But that can’t be it.
Magdalene proves my suspicions when she introduces the two.
“This is Ruth. She’s a Sentry from my personal security team. If there’s anything at all you need, you can ask her. I trust her with my life,” Magdalene assures. She then adds in a whisper, “I trust her with my son’s life.”
It’s the mention of her son that makes me believe her. If this woman knows about her son, then she really does trust them. And if she can trust them with her son, I can trust her with some of my secrets or even to go on errands that I can’t without being tracked.
I look at her again before repeating, more than a little curious, “A sentry.”
Magdalene nods .
The Sentry are the Sovereignty’s all-women paramilitary arm. They’re chosen, many of them from young girls, to defend and protect his wife, his conduits, their children, and the High Priestess at all costs. I’d come across the name before, but no one could ever tell me exactly what and who they were. It was such a closely guarded secret that I thought it was just something made up until I was going through all the Sovereignty records that Jaxson gave me weeks ago, and I saw their name come up multiple times. It also occurs to me that some of the female staff at the house might also be part of this secret paramilitary. It’s the only way that I hadn’t explicitly seen one until now.
Magdalene leads me and Ruth inside the building—a well-kept discount store filled with clothes, hygiene products, hair products, and even some appliances. Magdalene leads me to an office in the back.
As she flicks on the light, I say, “If keeping the books is all you need me to do, I can figure that out on my own. I don’t need you to—”
I cut myself off when I see three large boxes sitting on the desk. They’re taped closed, but the address is from Macon, Georgia—from Abigail’s address specifically. But there’s only one thing that she’d be sending from that address. Or, rather, Jaxson from her address.
“No one will bother you back here,” Magdalene assures. “You can get all the work done that you need, and no one will be any the wiser. ”
That is to say, there are no cameras or recording devices anywhere that go back to the Oracle.
I go to one of the boxes and pop it open, expecting to see everything I need to record and maintain my podcast. But there’s also one more thing that I hadn’t expected to see but am more excited to find than my recording supplies.
A burner phone.
“Thank you,” I say sincerely to Magdalene.
“Don’t thank me,” Magdalene replies in a taciturn manner that I’m learning I probably shouldn’t take personally because that’s just her personality. “If anything, I might be thanking you by the end of all this.”
“Thanking me?”
Magdalene gives a one-shouldered shrug. “Right now, the two most powerful men in the Sovereignty are in a conflict over you. That makes you the most important person in the Sovereignty right now. It gives you power. I’m just borrowing it to get what I want out of all this while keeping the Sovereignty intact.”
I can’t help but laugh as I answer, “It’s a wonder you and Jaxson don’t get along. You’re a lot alike. He has similar motives.”
“Us being a lot alike is the reason we don’t get along,” Magdalene mutters.
“Still. Even if your motive is selfish, thank you,” I say. “Genuinely.”
Magdalene nods and exits the room, leaving me to go through everything Jaxson sent me.