15. Res
15
Res
T he first thing I do when Magdalene has given me the key to the office and left so I can arrange my setup is call Abigail. Conveniently her number, or rather her name because there’s no number attached to it, is programmed into the phone already.
Jaxson probably expects me to call him first thing when I received this. But Jaxson is going to be okay. Jaxson can take care of himself and if for some impossible reason he can’t, he has a whole team of people to take care of him. But Abigail has no one. She’s not talking to her parents. She’s been ostracized from Loving Eden by those upset she’s refused to do her duty as a good wife and stand by her husband, even in death. And those who aren’t upset about her denouncing her entire marriage are blaming her for not knowing her husband was a predator, convince that she knew what he was doing and was covering for him. I’m the only one who Abigail has, and based on the fact that she’s programed into the phone, I’m assuming Jaxson knows that.
Abigail picks up the phone on the first ring .
“Res!” she says as soon as she picks up. “You’re okay. You just up and left, and Jaxson told me you’d gone to Chicago but I didn’t believe him. I thought he’d done something to you!”
“It’s a long story,” I mutter.
“You’re telling me. Res, what the hell is your boyfriend into? He had his men sweep my entire house and install some security system from a company I’ve never even heard of. If it’s even real. And he has his men watching my house twenty-four seven. Not to mention he did something to my phone and internet. Should I be worried?” she asks.
“Maybe,” I admit.
“Res!”
“What did you want me to do? Lie? You’ve proven that you’re much smarter than I ever gave you credit for. You wouldn’t have believed me.”
“No. I wouldn’t have. Res. What is going on?” Abigail asks.
“The religion Jaxson’s part of… let’s just say that it’s dangerous and there’s evidence to suggest that they’ll kill people who oppose them in some way. And if they can’t kill them, they’ll go after the people close to them,” I explain.
“They threatened me?” Abigail asks.
“Not explicitly, and not in name. But it doesn’t take much research for these people to find out if they decided they needed to.”
“Then why aren’t you going to the police or… I don’t know.”
“These kinds of people don’t respect the authority of the state and police when they’re prophet tells them to do something. They’ll happily go to prison for it. If they even go to prison,” I explain.
“Res. You’re not making any sense. What are you talking about? How can some fringe religion be so dangerous. They’re just like Mormons or something right?”
I don’t know how to explain it. There’s so many places to begin. So many things I’d have to explain to Abigail to explain why that’s exactly what their like which would be a problem in and of itself. But the Sovereignty under Jaxson’s father is worse. Dangerous.
But I don’t have to explain it. I’ve got years of interviews and a bunch of research scanned and loaded onto a secure server.
“Abigail. Before we continue this conversation, I need you to go and listen to the podcast High Demand. Start with the first episode. Then you can skip around. I’m also going to give you some instructions for you to access and encrypted server with all my most recent research. Once you listen to a few episodes and read all that, then we can finish this conversation,” I say.
“But—”
“Abigail. Just trust me.”
“You’re making it hard for me to do that all things considered.”
“Fair,” I reply. “But you have to start somewhere.”
Abigail is silent for a long time before swallowing and saying, “Fine.”
I immediately tell her to grab a pen and paper which takes her a while to find considering she usually leaves notes for herself in her phone and digital planner. But even as secured as I know her electronics are because of Jaxson’s precautions, they can still be hacked.
“Memorize that info and then burn it,” I instruct.
“You want me to memorize all this with my pregnancy brain? ”
“Abigail.”
“Fine,” she mutters. “How am I supposed to call you. I can’t save this contact when I try because it says there’s no number. It’s just your name.”
“I’ll call you when I can I finally say. I have to go. Be careful. And if anyone you don’t know comes poking around for questions or suddenly wants to be your friend, don’t say anything and don’t trust them. Got it?”
“Right.”
I end the call and the screen with the contacts comes back up on the screen. My finger hovers over Jaxson’s name before I shake my head and think the better of it. More important right now is getting in contact with my contacts for my Sovereignty series. I’m already a week behind and after I had to hurried tell them I’d be off grid for a couple of days, no doubt they’ve gone a little frosty toward me with either doubt or fear.
I put the burner phone away and get to work.
I’m only able to work long enough to set up my new office and message my contacts before I have to leave. Magdalene doesn’t drive me back, rather my assigned Sentry, Ruth takes me home. She’ll be the ones to come get me three times a week and be on call for me whenever I need her to according to Magdalene. She’ll come get me to work two days during the week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then they’ll pick me up on Saturdays to take me to the Chicago Altar why I’ll be required to take eight weeks of processing classes to get me up to speed on what I need to know in order to take my rites to become an official member of the Sovereignty.
I can’t lie and say that I’m not particularly excited about the processing classes. Lilah and Landon mistake my excitement for actually being excited to officially join the Sovereignty. I don’t correct the assumption even though being part of the Sovereignty is the last thing that I’m worried about.
I’m not excited because I buy into anything that the Sovereignty’s doctrine teaches but because I’ve always been curious about the initiation processes of religions who keep their initiation process so secretive. The thought crossed my mind once or twice to go under cover and pretend to join one of the many religious cults I studied just so I could find out. But in the end, I’d decided it wasn’t worth risking accidently falling for the indoctrination of another cult because no one is immune to their manipulation. Even someone like me who is so familiar with their tactics.
Thus, I’m up bright and early on Saturday morning to meet Ruth to take me to the Altar. They arrive at 6:15 a.m on the dot to get me on time to the class at seven. Otherwise, I won’t be allowed into the class and will have to come back next week. Personally, I think seven in the morning is too early for this. But this is the beginning of the initiation. The start of the little sacrifices they ask of you to train you for the bigger sacrifices. Like money. Time. Your personal desires. Your personality and individuality. All in service of whatever cult, religion, or organization you want to insert.
“After processing class, we’ll take you to the store,” Ruth explains .
That’s what they call the thrift shop that the Sovereignty operates here in Chicago. “The Store.” Because as far as the Sovereignty is concerned, no other store matters. Just theirs.
She adds dryly, “Call us when you’re ready. They want to make sure you arrive on time, but they don’t always end on time.”
“Thank you,” I respond before getting out the car.
Magdalene is waiting on me looking way to cheerful for this early in the morning. Actually, she’s looking way too cheerful for herself. But I suppose she has to put on an act and be as welcoming as possible to the new recruits.
“Lauressa,” she says with false cheer. “I’m so glad you got here safely.”
“Was there a reason I wouldn’t have?”
“Nothing is guaranteed or absolute except the Sovereignty and the Supreme Force, Lauressa. So every time I see you is a reason to be glad,” she parrots as though reading the lines from a play. If I didn’t know the real Magdalene, it would be creepy. It still is creepy.
“Coffee?” Magdalene offers gesturing over to the expansive coffee bar.
“Sure,” I say going over all the option. I finally settle on a chai latte which I gather counts as coffee to the Sovereignty because of the caffeine content.
“I’ll escort you to class. The instructor won’t be expecting you since you’ve never been to one of our services and never filled out intention papers.”
“Intention papers?” I ask .
“Don’t worry about those. You’re a special case. Your intentions have already been declared by the Oracle,” Magdalene explains.
I have more questions about that but we arrive to a large room lined with tables about twenty other women of all ages.
The blonde woman in a modest flowing at the front of the class in a white dress immediately gives Magdalene her attention.
“High Priestess,” she says with a bow of her head.
Magdalene waves a dismissive hand before walking up to the class to talk to the woman in hushed whispers. The woman nods and then Magdalene walks back over to me and says, “I’ll leave you in Mariah’s capable hands.”
Magdalene leaves and I take the last empty seat at the middle table next to woman with shiny brunette hair. Well… she’s a girl really. She looks like she’s twelve but more realistically is probably eighteen which is still just a baby as far as I’m concerned.
She immediately turns to me, excitement written on her face as she says, “Hi. I’m Jill.”
“R—Lauressa,” I correct. I’m Lauressa in the Sovereignty until Jaxson becomes Oracle and we change that stupid nickname rule to allow preferred names.
Before Jill can say anymore and subject me to the ramblings someone her age is prone to, Mariah starts the class.
She talks in a similar excitable manner as Magdalene did earlier when she greeted me. She even manages to sound excited when she says that of all of us in the class, only about a quarter of the Supreme Force’s chosen ones, destined to serve the Oracle, will make it to the end of the eight week process .
After her opening spiel, we go around the room and introduce ourselves with a short spiel about how their found the Sovereignty. I can’t help but notice that many of them found their way here when they were at their most vulnerable. One homeless woman who took advantage of one of the Sovereignty’s shelters and came to the weekly services in exchange for the free meals and roof over her head. Others being given money for bills by the Sovereignty in exchange for a month of rent. Others not in dire circumstances at all but just curious. The youngest of the group being from the local college like Jill where they couldn’t fit in and didn’t know anyone and decided to join because of how nice everyone was to her.
The common denominator in all of their cases is that they all don’t fit into the spaces they frequent or don’t have a support system. It’s not surprising. These kinds of places prey on the vulnerable, offering people something they desperately need in exchange for all of themselves. If I hadn’t had Mara to go to, it’s possible I would have gone from Loving Eden to a place or organization like this only to be victimized in some way again.
Since I’m not on Mariah’s list, I’m the last to go.
I give my name like everyone else and a little of my background. I’m about to sit down when Mariah says, “And how did you come to find your place in the Sovereignty?”
I pause. What am I supposed to say? How much is known about who I am and why I’m here? Jaxson and I didn’t go over this. Hell, he didn’t much talk about this processing me to take my rites at all.
I’m about to lie when the merits of telling the truth dawn on me. Anyone who’s anyone knows Jaxson’s father’s intention for me. But it hasn’t been officially announced yet. Telling them on my terms how I got here and who brought me here can sow confusion and discord before anyone gets a chance to get a handle on it.
“I spent a significant amount of time with Jaxson Devine in Macon, Georgia. He thinks it’ll be a great place for a new Altar. We met while he was participating in a community outreach even host by the organization I was a part of, hit it off, and he introduced me to the Sovereignty. He brought me to Chicago to meet the Oracle, and the Oracle decided he wanted me to process to take my rites as soon as I could.”
While everyone else claps politely, probably not even knowing yet who Jaxson is, Mariah’s eyes light up in curiosity and interest. By the way her eyebrow shoots up, she’s also assumed exactly what I wanted her to assume. By the end of the day, it won’t just be people who matter in the Sovereignty who know about me and Jaxson. His father can figure out how to deal with the optics of that.
“Thank you, Lauressa,” Mariah says before proceeding.
She passes out our syllabus for the next eight weeks and then begins a lecture on the History of the Sovereignty 101. She starts with the same carefully sanitized information you can find on their website if you go looking before getting into the new stuff information, filled with tales of triumphs, miracles, and things that can only be explained by the supernatural power of the Supreme Force. She explains with all the enthusiasm of a kitten with the zoomies, like she really buys into what she’s saying. It’s hard not to be affected by her enthusiasm and conviction. If I didn’t know any better, this would be the part where my doubts began to be eased about this weird place, and I’d feel convicted in my decision to join.
I look around the room. Clearly, it’s working. Not on all of them. Like Mariah said, some people are going to drop out, and a few people clearly find the enthusiasm and conviction off though they don’t know why.
I listen intently, resisting the urge to frown at every logical fallacy, plot hole, and inconsistently in this history. There’s even an age discrepancy with the last Oracle in regards to the last Oracle. In the end, I make a game of it. One point for every inconsistency in the history. Two for every miracle that can only be explain by the Sovereignty’s absolute truth. Three points for every thought stopping cliché, a response designed to encourage you to unquestioningly believe lies.
I reduce the points by one for any positive influence and social boon that the Sovereignty has been involved. That only ends up being two broad categories: 1) Their strict anti-racism policy and the collaborating they did with slave abolitionists during slavery, the union during the Civil War, and the Civil Rights Movement in the fifties and sixties and 2) Their pro-immigrant policy and the work they do for all immigrant communities across all races and ethnicities. A broken clock has to be right twice a day, after all.
When Mariah asks at the end if there are any questions, I have many. I’m also not going to ask them because I know the answers will only be her gaslighting me and saying something to the effect that once I broaden my mind and gain understanding, I’ll understand exactly why everything she said was right, exact, and the supreme truth. I’m proven right when she says something to the same effect to Jill, adding on that since the girl is in college, it might be hard for her to take in the truth and knowledge the Sovereignty provides because so much of what she’ll learn in college is contradictory to what the Sovereignty teaches. Yet another thought stopping cliché.
Mariah passes an attendance sheet around for us all to sign to confirm we attended and completed week one of our processing before we’re allowed to leave. It was three hours of my life, but I’ve spent three hours doing worse things. At least this was entertaining.
As I’m walking out, listening to everyone chatter, I’m struck with the urge to want to call Jaxson to laugh about all the ridiculous things I learned—and I’m stretching the use of the word learn here.
“Lauressa,” Jill says as I’m leaving.
I turn to her.
“Me and a couple of the other are going to grab some lunch to talk about what we learned today. Want to come?”
Clearly, they haven’t learn about how often and when the Sovereignty allows you to eat yet, and I’m not going to tell them.
“No thanks,” I reply. Entertaining as all of this way, I don’t doubt I could discuss it further without being a little mocking. Hence the need to call Jaxson.
“Okay. See you next week,” she says excitedly.
But before she can run off, I say, “Jill.”
“Yeah?”
I choose my words carefully as I say, “I know Mariah said that things can get confusing when you’re in school and at the same time learning the real truth they keep hidden from us,” I say using the vague ‘they’ that the Sovereignty uses when referring to imagine forces against them. “But I think you’re smart enough to filter what you learn in college through what you learn here.”
Jill smiles and says, “Thanks. Truly. I was wondering if I needed to drop out and my parents already don’t want me here. They’d definitely throw a fit if I did that. But you’re right. When you know the truth, lies are ineffective. Thanks.”
She wrong. Even when you know the truth, it’s always possible to be gaslit into believing lies, especially comforting ones from a religion that claims to have the answer to everything. But I’ve done my job of encouraging a young woman to finish her education and keep that to myself.
Ruth is waiting for me when I walk outside, and it’s all I can do to remain patient during the car ride to the store. As soon as we’re there and I’m in my office, I grab the burner phone and press Jaxson’s name.