29. Res
29
Res
I hang suspended naked from a metal cross in a dark cellar.
The same dark cellar that Jaxson used when he forced Zach and Kaydon to atone for their apparent sins against me. Jaxson calls it his altar. Regardless of what it is, I tremble in terror, terrified that this is the point where I’ve gone too far. The part where Jaxson is now so angry with me that he decides to make me atone like he’s done twice before that I know of and probably many more times that I don’t know.
“Jaxson,” I plead as he opens a box sitting on a metal table. He’s lined up around us the seven men who I flashed my body at, whether directly or through the cameras. “Jaxson, I’m sorry.”
“You’re not. But that’s okay,” he says.
He’s right. I’m not sorry. But I’ll say anything to avoid the torture he has in store for me, despite the fact that I know it will be to no avail.
I close my eyes like I’m a child believing that not seeing anything will make the thunderstorm less scary. Keep the monster creeping into my room at night away from me. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. Will he use a machete to whack off my breasts for putting another man’s hands on them? Brand my body for daring to assert my agency over it. To remind me every time I look in the mirror that my body is no longer mine, but his?
I hate that my heart races in anticipation of whatever punishment he has in store for me. I guess when you grow up with stories of the rapture and hellfire, it’s natural to end up with a punishment kink. Maybe that’s why I like pissing Jaxson off so much.
“Open your eyes, Snow White,” Jaxson says.
I weigh whether or not it’s worth keeping them closed, and decide I rather open them myself than let Jaxson force them open.
When I do open my eyes, the first thing I notice are the nipple clamps in Jaxson’s hands. Without breaking eye contact with me, he clamps each of my nipples, smirking a little when I let out a gasp of surprise and pain when each one clamps on. Once they’re on, Jaxson puts his body flush against mine and kisses me.
I can’t help the way my body reacts to him. The way it melts into him. The way my lips instantly began to move against his. Feeling the heat of his body through his clothes against my own naked one, and suddenly it’s a crime that he’s not naked with me. That I’ve never seen him naked. If I asked, I wonder if he would let me. But I’d sooner mutilate myself for Jaxson before I lower myself to make that request.
Jaxson pulls away, and I let out a small moan at the loss of contact, and then catch sight of the seven men watching. I flush in embarrassment and humiliation, whatever moment of insanity that possessed me earlier long gone as I squirm and try to shift my legs together. But I’m unable to because of the way they are shackled to the ground.
“Since you’re so eager to let people see you so intimately, I’ll give you what you want,” Jaxson says.
My face heats up even more. “This isn’t what I want.”
“Lauressa, you stripped naked and flaunted yourself at my men. You let another man touch you on the beach. Clearly you have an exhibitionist kink. It’s only right that I indulge you.”
I have a feeling I’m not going to like his definition of indulging.
“Jaxson,” I mutter as he takes something else out of the box. The angle of the shadows don’t allow me to see exactly what it is.
“Relax and let me worship you like the goddess you are, Lauressa,” he says.
He kisses me once more and then licks my face from the top of my cheek, all the way down jaw. My neck. My collar bone. He stops to give the other side the same treatment.
My breath picks up, becoming more and more shallow. The nerves of my skin begin to tingle. I start to feel warm. Heat begins to pool in my core. My face grows flush in embarrassment that his men are watching. It’s one thing to flaunt my naked body at them. It’s a completely other thing for them to see me like this.
“Jaxson. Jaxson. Okay. I get it. I won’t let another man see me,” I say, voice trembling.
“But you went through all this trouble. I’m happy to indulge you this once,” Jaxson says, licking down the middle of my chest to between my breasts. He swipes his tongue over to my left breast, taking my nipple and the small clamp in his mouth. I choke back a moan as he begins to suck. If I weren’t suspended, my legs would have given out by the pleasure that rips through me.
Without conscious thought, I begin trying to clamp my legs together again. Not to hide myself, but to relieve the pressure building. Once I realize what I’m doing, though, I stop, ignoring the trembling in my legs. I have no intention of humiliating myself further. I won’t. I—
I let out a shout as something begins to vibrate against my clit.
A vibrator. That’s what was in Jaxson’s hand.
“No,” I beg as the inevitability of my orgasm becomes apparent. Between the ministrations of Jaxson’s mouth on my breast and the vibrator between my legs, it’s a wonder I haven’t yet.
“Yes,” Jaxson rumbles against my skin and turns up the vibrator.
I don’t know if it’s from the vibrator or Jaxson’s mouth playing on my nipple, but my orgasm suddenly rips through me. I can’t help but let out moan. But even though my body enjoys it, I’m mentally mortified and emotionally wrecked that I came while seven of Jaxson’s men watched.
Jaxson takes his mouth off my nipple and the vibrator from my cunt.
“You liked that, didn’t you? You liked me making you come while others watched. You wanted me to find you in Savannah and see another man fucking you, didn’t you?” he asks.
I try to fold in on myself as best as my body will allow, which is nothing.
Jaxson steps away from me and turns to look at one of his men.
“Step forward. ”
The one he’s looking at steps forward.
“You must atone for your sin,” Jaxson says. “And for such a grievous sin, there’s only one way to repent to the Supreme Force, at which time, your conscious will be returned to it, as will all the true Sovereigns.”
Before I can fully process what’s happening, the other man raises a gun, points it at his eye, and pulls the trigger.
Screams fill the room. My screams, as blood and brains spray everywhere and the man’s body falls to the ground.
“What the fuck? Jaxson. Are you insane? You killed him. You…”
“They’re already dead men,” Jaxson says. “They all excepted the inevitability of their deaths as soon they laid eyes on the future Queen Priestess. It’s an honor. But also a curse to die. But death isn’t real. It’s just returning to the Supreme force. A new form of consciousness.”
If I didn’t already know he doesn’t believe any of the bullshit he was spewing, I’d say Jaxson was delusional. But he’s not. The sick fuck is amused. He’s entertained. He’s having a power trip over the fact that he can make them believe anything he wants as long as he says in the name of the Supreme Force and the Sovereignty.
I’m conflicted between horrific disgust or gleeful fascination. Regardless, the kind of power he wields is awe-inducing.
Jaxson turns back to me, unbothered by the dead body and the flecks of blood on his face.
“Here’s what’s going to happen, Lauressa. Every time you come, another of my men returns himself to the Supreme Force,” Jaxson explains. “The longer you don’t come, the longer you delay these men’s atonement.”
I let out a horrified sob. “No. Jaxson. Please.”
“I know it’s hard to accept, but they can no longer live having witnessed such otherworldly beauty. To accept atonement now is to grant them salvation. You would deny them that?”
“Yes,” I say.
Jaxson laughs. “You don’t have a choice.”
He puts the vibrator back on my cunt, this time on a higher setting and takes my other nipple in his mouth.
“No,” I whimper as pleasure begins to build in me again. “No, no, no….”
I swallow and try to take deep focusing breaths. Try to check out of my body and go someplace else. Hoping that the more I can disconnect and focus my mind and awareness elsewhere, the less stimulated my body will feel. Like a psychological trick to keep myself from coming. But the more I try, the more intense it all feels. The more my body shudders and my legs tremble from the effort of trying to hold it all back. The more tears well up in my eyes.
I bite my lip so hard, it bleeds. At least, I hope the coppery taste in my mouth is my blood and not the blood from one of Jaxson’s men shooting himself.
I open my mouth and scream as a particular jolt of pleasure causes me to come completely undone.
Jaxson doesn’t even bother to move the vibrator away from me. Just moves his mouth to my other nipple while another of his men slits his own throat. Blood bursts from his neck and bubbles from his mouth as he falls to his knees and dies while I let out another sob. And another sob and it doesn’t stop. Only becomes choked when my breath hitches, and I experience my third orgasm. A third man drinks something. All I know is that it’s poison because he starts to choke and foam at the mouth. He falls to the ground seizing until he stills for good.
“Jaxson,” I sob. “Please. Please. It’s….”
I can’t think properly let alone get the right words out. I’m a blubbering mess and that only seems to spur Jaxson on. The fourth time I orgasm, a man hangs himself.
My cunt is overly sensitive now. The vibrator is too loud. My throat is raw from screaming. My tongue tastes like blood and salt. Tears blur my sight, yet I can clearly see the dead men. All dead because of me. Because I dared to play Jaxson’s game. I’m exhausted. Angry. Sad. Completely humiliated. Simultaneously relieved that the only one who will remain alive as witness to this humiliation is Jaxson.
“Jaxson,” I plead pathetically.
“Hush, Snow White. Let me finish worshipping you.”
Jaxson licks a long stripe down the rest of my torso, all the way to my cunt. His mouth joins the vibrator. It’s the first time Jaxson has touched me down there with his own body since his first assault. When he drank my period blood. Like it was the blood of Jesus Christ himself. As though taking John 6 to its most literal extreme.
Despite the circumstances, the first sensation of him tasting me makes me sigh in relief and want .
I don’t even try to fight the orgasm this time, resigned to my fate. Might as well get it over with. Besides, resisting makes my legs cramp in pain.
I let out a yell as I come for the fifth time and the fifth man slits both his wrist vertically. His death isn’t instant because bleeding out isn’t an instant death. But it doesn’t need to be. He’s doomed.
Something in me snaps.
Suddenly my exhaustion is gone. So is my horror.
“Turn it up higher,” I demand from Jaxson.
He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell he’s surprised because his tongue recedes from me.
“Higher. As high as it will go,” I command. “I want it to hurt.”
He turns the vibrator all the way up, the sound buzzing even louder in my ear.
“Now,” I gasp as pleasure zings through me again. “Now fuck my hole with your tongue.”
Jaxson obliges. I feel him insert his tongue into me, and if my limbs weren’t already boneless, they would be now. With what little strength I have, I grind myself down onto the vibrator, onto Jaxson’s mouth, chasing my next orgasm, helping speed my body along.
“I’m… Don’t… almost there,” I ground out and then let out a tired moan as my sixth orgasm takes me.
This time, I watch in fascination and glee as the sixth man bends down in front of a tub of water and pitches his head in. The seventh man has to help keep him down as he drowns himself, unable to fight the biological instinct to fight against death .
I watch in fascination as, finally, he stills and the seventh man lets go.
“Kiss me,” I demand from Jaxson. “Kiss me and make me come with your fingers. Like you did that first time you hurt me.”
Jaxson stands without hesitation and puts his lips to mine. He roughly shoves all four of his fingers into my cunt and fucks me with them.
I taste myself on Jaxson’s lips. Swallow the mixture of our spit and my come. Swallow the pain. Swallow the horror. Swallow the dismay. All that’s left is the pleasure.
“Harder,” I demand.
He fucks me harder. I grind down against him. Toss my head back and break our kiss so I can moan and gasp as Jaxson builds me up to a final orgasm.
The sound I let out when I come for the last time is primal. No. Worse than primal. Otherworldly. Supernatural. A sound that would make a person’s hair stand on end. That when heard would make a person doublecheck the locks on the doors and windows, even though it would probably be to no avail against the horror outside if it wanted to get in.
The seventh man lights himself on fire. I watch. Don’t take my eyes off him as Jaxson fingers me through my orgasm. I watch until he’s nothing more than a smoking and burnt corpse. Long after Jaxson has stopped fucking me.
Jaxson takes me down off the cross and unshackles my legs. I fall forward into his arms, boneless and unable to move. While he covers me with a robe, I survey the bodies strewn around us. I can’t help but be in awe that I witnessed this kind of power. This kind of control. My humiliation has also been the first real witnessing of the power Jaxson so covets. To make seven men believe it would be better to die. To commit a blood atonement for something that wasn’t their fault.
It’s sick. I should feel sick. Horrified.
But in this moment, with only basic, primal instinct remaining after my ordeal, I can admit to myself why I can’t help but be captivated by Jaxson. That is deep down, no matter how different my motivations, there’s a depraved monster in me that covets the kind of control and power that Jaxson wields.
The sickness and horror catch up with me when I come back to my body after Jaxson sits me in a hot bath. I lift my arm out the bubbly water and cover my eyes as they begin to sting with tears. There’s no use, a pathetic sob escapes me.
Jaxson takes my arm away from my face, and cups a hand around my cheek. He’s still dressed in the bloody, soiled clothes from the atonement he forced me to take part it.
“Why do you cry, Snow White?” he asks gently, lovingly. Almost enough to erase the pain of the humiliation he put me through. No. Not the pain of the humiliation. The pain of my own yearning to be the one in his place.
“I don’t know,” I lie.
“You don’t have to lie. You can tell me the truth.”
I try to huff but another sob escapes me instead.
That’s the whole problem in all this.
The truth.