Chapter 7
Kirsten had been gazing out at the hills for a little while.
The fear and uncertainty had calmed in her mind, although the anxiety had not yet settled in her stomach.
She was about to get up and return to the castle, deciding that it was probably time to return to Moira and ask her for a tour of the lands.
Perhaps then she could tell Moira what happened and learn more information.
However, just as she was about to shift her position, a shadow fell over her and a familiar voice greeted her.
She twisted her neck up and squinted, smiling as she saw Roderick.
He stood towering above her with his hands clasped behind his back. He bowed with respect.
“I hope ye dinnae mind me intruding,” he said.
“Please, join me. I was just admiring the view.”
“Aye, it’s beautiful. I hae lived here all my life and I never tire of it. Sometimes I dae envy the animals that can live out here and enjoy the view every day without worrying about other things.” Roderick sat beside Kirsten. “I know why ye came out here, lass. I saw what Marcas did.”
Kirsten cleared her throat and smoothed out her skirt. She looked directly out into the world. “I’m sure he haed his reasons,” she spoke in defense of her husband, assuming that it was the proper thing for a wife to do. Roderick wore a wry smile and nodded.
“It must hae been a hard thing for ye tae see. I know that my nephew haes nae been a model husband since ye hae arrived. I’m sure a part of ye must be wondering what ye hae gotten yerself into.”
“I know it’s gaeing tae be an adjustment for us both,” Kirsten replied. “It just took me a wee bit by surprise, that’s all. I can tell that Marcas is a powerful man, but I hae never seen anyone with a temper like his.”
“Aaye, it’s something tae behold, that’s for sure.”
“Dae ye know what the soldier did? Why would Marcas be sae angry with him?”
Roderick puffed out his cheeks and placed his hands on his knees.
“Well, ye see, Marcas likes tae make sure the land is safe, sae he has guard posts positioned all around, from every direction where it’s possible for an enemy tae attack.
Sometimes he sends out guards tae scout the surrounding area tae protect from any intruders.
That soldier claimed he found naething, and yet an enemy slipped by him and got close tae the house. ”
“An enemy?” Kirsten gasped.
“There’s naething tae worry about. Most likely, it was just a scout sent tae gather information about the wedding.
It happens often. It wasnae like there was an all-out assault on the clan.
But judging from Marcas’s reaction, ye would be hard-pressed tae believe otherwise.
It was a simple mistake, really. Aye, the lad should have been more careful and kept better watch, but it didnae require such an angry reaction. ”
“Then why was Marcas so angry?” Kirsten asked. She glanced around warily, peering into the distance for any sign of an enemy.
“Well, it all gaes back tae when his da died. I’m assuming that Moira haes told ye what happened?”
“Aye, it sounds terrible.”
“That it was.” Roderick bowed his head, and a shadow fell across his face. “A terrible day indeed. I hae rarely seen such a fierce battle, and Marcas haes nae been the same since. It’s my fault.”
“How sae?”
“I should hae been quicker tae act. By the time I haed arrived with reinforcements, it was tae late. The damage haed been done. I’ve stayed here since then tae ensure that the clan is safe, but Marcas…
” Roderick shook his head. “I fear he haes been lost for a long time. He’s sae quick tae anger, and he fears there are enemies all around.
He’s sae afraid that his home is gaeing tae be attacked again that he doesnae give anyone the benefit of the doubt, and he rarely gives a second chance, like with that soldier ye saw.
Sometimes I fear he lost his mind. It’s a terrible thing tae lose a father at that age, and there’s only sae much I can dae…
“I’m sorry that ye are tangled up in it now.
I know this was not the life or the clan ye thought ye were getting involved in, and I’m sorry that we only hae our name tae offer ye.
I haed hoped that getting married would pull him out of his dark thoughts.
He spends tae much time by himself on those moors, with his dog.
He spends tae much time pondering and thinking of the days gone past. He needs a wee bit of hope, a wee bit of sense for the future.
I still hope that ye can give him that, lass.
I’m just sorry that it’s nae as easy a thing as ye probably deserve.
Ye really are tae good for him, but I’m sure ye can understand why I wasnae open about this beforehand. I really hoped that he would change.”
Kirsten swallowed a lump in her throat. It was a difficult thing to process.
On the one hand, it was easy to pity Marcas for all he had been through.
Being witness to something so cruel must have scarred his heart, especially to then lose his mother as well.
But it was not an excuse to act the way he was acting, or to allow it to define his life, or hers.
“It’s been a difficult time for all of us,” Roderick continued, “especially with the passing of his mother. I hoped that he would look at her and see a warning. She let grief get the better of her and was unable to battle it away; I fear that Marcas is gaeing down the same path. I know it is a lot tae ask, but I hope that ye can bring him back tae the light and remind him that there is something good tae live for. I know that Moira wants the same as well, but I think that we are tae associated with the past tae dae any good. Ye are the key, Kirsten. Ye are the one that can help him.”
“I’ll try,” Kirsten said uneasily. It sounded as though he needed a healer more than he needed a wife, but while she wasn’t sure this should be part of a wifely duty, the vows she had made were clear in her mind.
She had promised to take care of Marcas and support him in whatever he needed.
If she was the sun that needed to come in and break through the stormy clouds, then so be it.
He had already shown that he was capable of tenderness, and if there was a way back from his grief, she was determined to find it.
Not only because it would help him, but also because it would make her life a lot better.
“How dae ye suggest I dae that?” she asked.
“The first thing ye need tae dae is gain his trust. Sadly, he is skeptical even of ye.”
That explains why Marcas has said sae few words tae me, Kirsten thought.
“In my experience, the best way tae a man’s heart is through his stomach...
at least that’s the best way tae mine!” he said with a twinkling smile.
“Take these, they’re his favorite. If ye cook these up for him, I’m sure he’ll see it as a real treat, and ye’ll be on the way tae winning his trust.” Roderick pulled out a handful of funnel-shaped orange mushrooms that he had forged from a nearby patch.
Kirsten collected them in her palms and recognized them as chanterelle mushrooms.
“Thank ye for the advice. I’ll try and make sure tae cook them just how he likes them. I’m glad that I hae people like ye and Moira around. Marcas is lucky tae, tae hae family that just want the best for him.”
Roderick beamed. “Ye are a sweet lass. Aye, it haes nae always been easy, but what else can ye dae when family is involved? If ye need any help, just ask someone in the kitchen. A happy laird means a happy clan.” Kirsten chuckled at his joke and prepared to leave, wanting to get started on the meal straight away.
Just as she was about to, Roderick caught one of her hands and looked at her earnestly.
When he spoke, his words were heavy with emotion, and she got a sense of the toll these last few years had taken on him.
“There’s just one thing else I want tae say tae ye.
I know that it haes nae been easy for ye tae come here, and I know that Marcas isn’t every lass’s idea of a husband, but I know that ye hae a good heart and that if his parents were still alive, they would hae made the same choice for him.
We are lucky tae hae ye here, and I hope ye know that. ”
“I dae now,” Kirsten said, and smiled brightly.
She returned to the castle with a little more hope in her heart and a feeling that things could be better.
She was grateful to Roderick for putting things into greater context and hoped that she could cook a meal worthy of Marcas’s trust. If she could get him talking, then perhaps she could get him to see that the world wasn’t out to get him and that enemies were not everywhere.
She needed to get him to see that he had people around him he could trust, and that he should focus on appreciating them rather than berating soldiers and focusing on conspiracies that didn’t exist.
As she returned to the keep, she felt bad for having to delay getting a tour from Moira.
She could tell that Moira was desperately lonely and in need of a friend.
Now that Kirsten had been given some more insight on Marcas’s state of mind, she thought about what it must have been like for Moira to not only lose her parents but also lose her brother in a way.
Kirsten told herself that she was cooking this meal for all of them, not just Marcas.
There was something else that she realized as well.
Now that Roderick had pointed out Marcas’s paranoid condition, she noticed just how many guards were stationed around the keep.
She had seen them before, but because they were motionless and she had had other things on her mind, she had not paid much attention to them.
It was as though they were waiting for an imminent attack, and if she knew one thing, it was that she did not want to spend her life living in fear or preparing for a siege.
She rushed to the kitchen with excitement, happy that she might be able to do something to dispel the gloom that lingered over her husband’s mind and lift the despair that cloaked the Monroe clan.