Chapter 15 #2
I opened my mouth, to say what I wasn’t sure, but he continued.
“It isn’t a criticism, AJ. Someone who can immerse themselves in color and create truly unique designs?
They rarely have it in them to manage people.
Art requires sensitivity, while management requires objectivity.
To answer your question, no. You never would have gotten the promotion.
Design has always been your strong suit, and the further from that side of the business you got, the more I expected you to quit. ”
I slumped back into the chair and contemplated this. I’d never had a human conversation with John, and I had to wonder how things would be different if I had. “If you knew I was headed for misery, why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
He took a deep breath. “That’s why I’m in management, AJ.
No sensitivity, remember? It’s easy to be so busy moving people around like pawns on a chess board that you forget they are real people.
” He paused. “I am sorry to see you go, AJ, but I won’t try and convince you to stay.
You’ll be better off without this place, and I truly mean that. ”
I rose from the chair and shook his hand. “I appreciate the truth.” He nodded.
Cleaning out my desk was another matter. My palms started to sweat as I weaved between cubicles on the way to my office. My coworkers had started to arrive for the day, and I could tell by the looks on their faces that word had gotten out about what happened in California.
On autopilot, I started collecting my things. This really wasn’t going to take me long. I hadn’t cluttered up my desk with plants or framed pictures. Aside from a bottle of deodorant, a bottle of pain reliever, and a spare toothbrush, there really wasn’t much in this office that was actually mine.
The odd colleague poked their head in the door, acting like they cared to get the full story of why Little Miss Never Calls in Sick was suddenly abandoning ship.
Did I have a mental breakdown? Affair with the boss?
Their questions were less than subtle. I gave a vague answer about a new opportunity coming my way and they quickly left unsatisfied.
Good. I wanted to throw my stuff in a box and get the hell out of there.
Just as I was finishing up, I looked up to see Stephen leaning against the doorframe, not a wrinkle in his suit or a hair out of place.
Perfect. Of course he was here right now.
He must have come straight from the airport to the office just to confront me.
Another wave of pity rolled through me for Missy.
He was watching me with that same patronizing look he always had. The time for closure, real closure, on my failed marriage had come. I braced my hands on the desk and met his eyes.
“So, you’re quitting?” His eyes ran over me, and I felt his judgment like a physical touch. I suppressed the urge to shudder.
“I am.”
He clicked his tongue. “Seems a bit dramatic just because you didn’t get your way.”
I drew a deep breath in through my nose, fighting back a rush of anger. “It isn’t about getting my way. I just realized what I really wanted.”
He snorted in derision. “Tell you what. You end this little hissy fit, and I’ll talk to John about bringing you back on. I’ll even let you help out on my next project.” He sauntered farther into the room.
“Why would you want me back here?” He was always very critical of my work, and he never did anything without an angle.
He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his suit pants.
“I nailed the pitch in California. There will be lots of work to do, and I taught you how to properly commit. I don’t have the time to train someone new on how to do things the right way.
” He shook his head. “Besides you and I always worked well together. Both in and out of the office, if memory serves me.” He reached out and ran his hand over my shoulder.
What the hell?
I took a big step back and away from his touch. “What are you doing?”
He adopted what I assumed was supposed to be a playful smile.
Bile rose up the back of my throat, and I forced it back down.
He slid his fingertips over the wood of my desk and moved a little closer. “Don’t tell me you don’t miss what we had. We could have ruled this place.”
The freaking audacity. “We’re divorced; you are engaged to someone else.” My voice started to rise, and I clawed it back.
Confusion flashed through his eyes, but he covered it up with a smile.
“Come on, AJ. We both know there is a reason why you didn’t quit here after we divorced.
Any smart person would have. You wanted to stay in my life.
You want me back, and what, now that I have a baby on the way, you realize you’ve been replaced and are quitting? ”
I blinked. Is that really what he thought? Is that what everyone thought? That I was just hanging around hoping for scraps of Stephen’s attention? Just one more confirmation I was in the right industry but the wrong place.
I pulled myself up to my full height and locked my eyes on his. “I didn’t stay here for you. I have no regrets about divorcing you, and I thank the lord of birth control that I never had your child.”
His eyes flashed wide, and he took a small step back.
I moved forward, taking up the space that he’d abandoned.
“I stayed here, pouring my heart and soul into my work, to try to finally get ahead in this place—to be the one making the decisions and giving everyone the fair chance that I never got.” I kept a deadly calm in my voice, and Stephen didn’t dare interrupt me.
“I was stupid and ambitious. I admit it. But that was what you wanted me to be. I finally realized that the prize for being exactly what you expected me to be is a life I don’t want.
The reward for working hard is just more work.
The light at the end of the tunnel is just the start of another damn tunnel.
I have finally pulled my head out of this place long enough to look around and realize that it doesn’t have to be this way. ”
“It isn’t that bad.” He was trying for bravado, but it came out weak.
“Maybe not to you. I’ve finally seen a better way of doing things, and I am going to grab that fresh start with both hands. Now if you’ll excuse me.” I picked up my one sad box of belongings and headed toward the door.
He held up his hands in mock surrender and stepped to the side. If I thought he was done, though, I was mistaken. “My offer has an expiry date, you know. If you walk out that door, you won’t get sympathy from me when you come crawling back.”
I froze. He was baiting me, and I was torn between walking out the door with my head held high and turning around and telling him just how over him and this place I really was. He made the decision for me. The small hesitation was all he needed to keep running his mouth.
“Surely you want to know how the pitch went. You came all the way to LA and didn’t even stick around to see it.
” He called after me loud enough that it caught the attention of people working in cubicles nearby.
He was trying to goad me into a fight. He got off on power dynamics and making other people feel small. It wasn’t something happy people did.
I would have felt bad for him if he didn’t consistently double down on being an ass.
I turned back to face him. “I don’t have to care about how the pitch went.
” I took a step in his direction, pinning him with my gaze.
“I’ve seen you perform enough times to know exactly how it would have gone.
I can guarantee it was far shorter than they expected, and you enjoyed it way more than they did. ”
He blanched and set his jaw.
I turned and headed for the door. I didn’t need to care what he or anyone else in this place thought.
He yelled a series of boastful bullshit after me, but I didn’t hear it. Divorce and quitting my job had set me free of their judgment. I was onto a fresh start.