Chapter 14
Blair
Igot cleaned up and half-dressed before heading into the living room to find Sophia greedily drinking a bottle.
“Well, good morning, beautiful.” I squeezed her cheek then turned my attention to Missy. “Once she is fed, we should head over to Sam’s place and get to work on your SUV.”
She nodded, her eyes firmly locked on her daughter.
Once the bottle was empty, she looked my way, and her eyes widened.
I hadn’t been able to get the shirt or sling back on, so I was just in my jeans and socks.
Sophia let out a satisfied burp, and Missy put her on the carpet and turned her attention to me.
“What are you going to do once I’m not around to help you with this?” she asked.
I frowned and sat in a kitchen chair. I didn’t really want to think about that.
All too quickly, I’d gotten used to having Missy and Sophia around.
I wanted more time with both of them. At first, it was easy enough to write the whole thing off as fun and games since I didn’t think I wanted to be in a parent role again anytime soon.
Despite the spit up and having to plan life around car seats, diaper changes, and snack breaks, I was starting to remember the things I loved about the responsibility of parenting.
Having a kid around forces you to slow your pace—to stop and smell the flowers.
It’s like seeing the familiar for the first time again; life gets some of its wonder back.
I didn’t know if this was something Missy would even want.
We lived in different cities. She was recently split from her ex and likely had her hands full with being a new mom.
She might not think that she had any room for something new.
I’d have to make sure that she saw me as a partner, not as a liability.
“I don’t know,” I answered her honestly. “I’m really not ready for you two to go yet.”
She was standing between my legs, physically close enough to touch, but emotionally, I had no idea. She pulled the shirt over my head, mulling over her answer.
“You just got your freedom back,” she replied. “You said it yourself. Sophia and I don’t fit into a carefree lifestyle.”
She moved to pull the sleeve over my arm, and I held her hands still with mine. “I know what’s involved, and I know what I said. Now I’m saying I’m not ready for whatever this is to be over.”
She searched my eyes with hers, and her shoulders relaxed. “I’m not sure I am either.”
“We don’t have to decide anything right now. All that matters is that we are both thinking the same thing.”
She got me into my shirt and sling, and when I stood up, she went up on her tiptoes, puts her arms around my neck, and kissed me—kissed me like she really meant it.
We pulled up in front of Sam and AJ’s place and saw their truck in the driveway. Sam stepped out the front door as we arrived. He raised an eyebrow as I got out of the truck. “What happened to your arm?”
“A bad fall.”
Missy snorted.
He nodded but asked no further questions. “Well, since you’re incapacitated, why don’t I help you with the car repair. Missy, I think AJ was making some coffee, if you’re interested.”
We made short work of the repairs to Missy’s car, and while we were at it, I got Sam to move the car seat back to her SUV.
She was all set and ready to drive out of my life, if she wanted to.
I needed to head home. Sam and AJ were just back from a trip, and Missy needed to get ready for Sophia’s appointment tomorrow morning.
There wasn’t a chance I was leaving without talking to her first, though.
I poked my head through the front door. AJ was sitting on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table looking like she was ready for bed.
Missy was on the floor playing with Sophia.
“Missy, could I talk to you?” I asked.
She looked at AJ, who nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on trouble over here.”
“Thanks, AJ.” Missy gave her daughter one last look and followed me out to the driveway.
We stopped and faced each other. I wanted to reach out and put my arms around her, but I wasn’t sure if that was okay.
We both agreed that we wanted to keep things going between us, but whether that meant she was comfortable with casual contact, especially given her hangups about her body, I had no idea.
I tucked my hands into my pockets instead.
“I am going to head home, give you some space to get ready for tomorrow.”
She licked her lips and nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks again for everything with the SUV and helping me get out of this mess.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Missy. I’m happy to do it.”
Silence settled between us. I’d run out of reasons to stay. “Is it okay if I kiss you goodbye?”
A smile spread across her face, and she stepped into me, up on her tiptoes, arms around my neck, and lips on mine.
There was passion and heat in the way she kissed me, but the way she clung to me like a lifeline made me feel needed and wanted in a way I wasn’t sure I was looking for.
We separated, but I kept my arms around her back, not quite ready to let go.
Her cheeks took on a pink tinge, and her eyes were glued to mine.
I rested my forehead against hers. “Any chance AJ and Sam could watch Sophia long enough for me to get you back to my place for a bit? Pick up where we left off during her last nap.”
Missy’s lips twisted to the side as she bit the inside of her cheek. Her eyes darted away. She lowered herself off of her tiptoes, and when she stepped away from me, I let my arms fall to the side.
Shit.
Missy’s arms banded around her waist, and she was looking at anything but me when she started to speak.
“Look, Blair, I know you didn’t mean anything bad by what you just said, but Sophia is my number one priority.
My only priority, really. She has had a crazy few days, and tomorrow she’s going to have surgery.
She’s going to wake up confused and in pain, then she will have to be strapped back in the car for a four-hour drive home.
” She shook her head and finally made eye contact again.
“I was being selfish before. I wanted you. I wanted to feel something besides worry and to forget about the craziness that is my life. I’m glad I did that, and I’m glad it was with you. ”
“Wait, Missy—” I didn’t know how to end my sentence.
She took a deep breath. “But I need to get back to doing the only thing in my life that matters, and that is being the best mom I know how to be. I can’t keep being selfish, and keeping something going with you would be exactly that.
You don’t want the life I have, not right now anyway, and I can’t pawn my kid off on other people to run around like a hormonal teenager.
I was raised by the kind of mom who had a dozen loves of her life before I even hit high school.
I was always second to whoever was buying her roses.
I won’t do that to my daughter. You’re a good man, Blair.
I don’t doubt that for even a second. But I won’t put you in a position you don’t want to be in. ”
I opened my mouth to argue. To tell her that I wasn’t thinking when I said what I did before, but that I understood her priorities.
That I have lived her priorities before, and that for her and for Sophia, I’d be willing to do it again.
But she was already walking away, and hell, maybe I was so caught up in my attraction to her that I wasn’t thinking straight.
So I closed my mouth again and watched her walk away.