Chapter 8
Natalie
Three days later, I was standing on the steps of the courthouse, staring intently at a gum wrapper on the sidewalk.
Disassociating was preferable to analyzing what the hell I had gotten myself into and why.
I loved to help people and more than once it had gotten me into working a shift I hadn’t wanted to or buying something from a person who came to my door.
The ramifications of those actions, although causing me to be annoyed at myself, were short-lived.
This wasn’t that. This was marriage. A legal contract.
Being tied to another person. The other difference was that I had selfish reasons for doing this.
Every second spent with Jake had convinced me that not only was he deserving of help but that I was not sure my heart would survive pretending he was mine.
My husband-to-be pulled up a few minutes later. I couldn’t help but notice that his usual t-shirt had been replaced with a dress shirt, and although he was in jeans there was not a rip or stain in sight. He looked handsome as always but those dark circles under his eyes never seemed to leave him.
After an awkward hello, we went into the big concrete building and got in line at the BC Services desk.
Step one: get a marriage license.
My heart was in my throat. I should have brought some water or something. I was ridiculously excited to be attached to this man, but I had to remember that it was only on paper. It was like the warning parents gave kids when they went to a petting zoo. Remember, you don’t get to keep him.
“You look beautiful by the way.” He gently bumped my shoulder with his arm. Talking with him had always been easy and despite the situation being awkward with a capital A, I was happy to see that hadn’t changed.
“I’m not sure the clerk will believe you picked me.”
I hated seeing him put himself down. It was probably all tied into his issues at work and maybe therapy will help that too. I looped my arm through his. “She will be jealous that I’m taking you off the market.” I leaned into him a little. The heat of his body seeped into my chest.
The line shuffled forward.
“So, is this like on TV where we just get married here and now?”
“I think that is just in the States. They only give us the license here. I booked an officiant to meet us at my place in a few hours to do the ceremony.”
He nodded.
After a few minutes of answering questions, we parted ways with our paperwork in my hands and a plan to meet at my place for the ceremony.
******
A half-hour earlier than necessary, a dusty maroon pickup pulled into the parking lot in front of my building. I opened the door to Jake standing perfectly straight, still in his dress shirt and jeans with a bag clasped in front of him.
“Hi.” I flashed him what I was sure was an over-the-top smile, but he returned it easily.
“Hi. You look perfect, as always.”
“Thanks.” I looked over my outfit. I had dug through my closet and found a basic white cocktail dress that I had bought for who knew what reason.
The tags were still on it and the zipper made it to the top, so it was perfect.
I had on a simple pearl necklace and silver pumps.
A little red lipstick finished off the look.
I knew this wasn’t a real wedding, but I was a little extra about these things and besides. I may never have a real wedding.
He toed off his shoes and wandered into my living room like he belonged there.
“This is for you.” He passed me the bag.
I couldn’t help but notice the red that crept up his neck as I reached my hand into the bag and pulled out a soft navy-blue zip-up sweatshirt.
It was at least three sizes too big. “It’s my favorite one, just like I promised. ”
I hugged it to my chest and willed myself not to cry. It was thoughtful as fuck that he even remembered me saying I wanted one, let alone bringing it. In the process of hugging my new treasure, I noticed that it smelled like him. I would never wash this hoodie.
The bag still had weight to it and when I locked eyes with Jake, he nodded towards it.
There was a small white gift box in the bottom and my heart stumbled when I realized what was inside.
Wedding bands; a larger plain gold one and a smaller one in rose gold with a delicate filigree pattern around it.
Okay, I was crying now, and I struggled to keep it at light sniffles and not full-on ugly sobs. Again. The. Sweetest. Guy. Ever.
He took the box from my hand, the blush he had been sporting had made it to his hairline.
“I know this whole thing isn’t real, but it seemed wrong to say I do and not have a ring to put on your finger.
I wanted one on mine too, to remind me every day of what you’ve done for me.
You seemed like a rose gold kind of girl.
I hope you like it.” He talked quickly then tucked his hands into his pockets.
He was nervous, and I was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness.
He bought me a ring and even thought to make it girly and pretty and perfect.
I was doomed. Might as well sign the death certificate on my heart right now.
Time of death: two in the afternoon. Cause of death: cardiac arrest from an abundance of cuteness.
Luckily the officiant, a retired public official named Marie, arrived before I could do something I’d regret, like jump his bones or start picturing what our babies would look like. They’d be cute as hell, for the record.
The ceremony was short. I’d like to say it was sweet, but it really wasn’t. We said all the words we were legally required to say and signed on the dotted line.
This was my wedding day. I was one of those little girls who made a veil for her Barbie out of toilet paper and imagined what it would be like when it was finally my turn.
At some point after I finished my master’s degree in library sciences, got my first big girl job, and rented my condo, I had made peace with the fact that the fairytale likely wouldn’t happen for me.
Or I thought I had. The sinking feeling in my chest said otherwise.
I was fighting back tears and not for the reason Marie probably thought.
Oddly, I felt like I had the right guy, but for all the wrong reasons.
And of course, his I do was made under duress.
“Jake, please take Natalie’s left hand in yours and repeat after me, ‘With this ring I thee wed.’” He stepped closer, picking up my hand as instructed and sliding the beautiful band onto my finger.
“With this ring I thee wed.” He circled his thumbs over the back of my hand as he spoke and looked into my eyes. The ghost of a smile was on his lips and one of the tears I’d been holding back fell.
I was in trouble. I completed the ring ceremony on autopilot, trying desperately to convince myself that I 100% was not falling for my fake husband.
Then the words, “You may kiss your bride” float into my drunk-on-romance brain.
Lord, why hadn’t I thought about this part of the ceremony?
My eyes caught his. If this was really a fake marriage with no emotion or meaning behind it, we would have had a quick peck on the lips and sent the officiant on her way.
Instead, Jake settled his big hands on either side of my face and brought his lips to mine.
He pulled us together, so we were connected from lips to hips.
His attention was on my top lip then my bottom.
Working me over and riling me up, making me momentarily forget that our wedding night would be spent with me alone watching reruns and not us having mind-blowing sex in every position known to man.
His hands dropped from my face, coming to rest against my lower back as his mouth continued to move.
In a motion that was almost as dizzying as the kiss itself, he spun us to the side, dipping me back like we were ballroom dancers.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little self-conscious about my weight, but I felt perfectly safe in his arms as he held me parallel to the ground. All too soon, the kiss was over. I was on my feet, and we were back to Natalie and Jake. Husband and wife in name only.
“Well, that was quite the kiss, you two must really be in love,” Marie said, clasping her hands in front of her chest.
“My wife is a true romantic, I knew a boring kiss would never do.”
Ugh, he knows me so well already. Pretending he was mine wasn’t going to be hard; giving him up after would be.
The officiant took a few pictures of us together and then left to file our paperwork.
Just like that, we were married. Jake left not long after, not that I wanted him to.
It was hard to come up with a reason for him to stay when this was all supposed to be pretend.
I took off my wedding dress and hung it back in my closet.
I hadn’t even worn it long enough to need to get it dry cleaned.
I showered off my carefully applied makeup and got into my most comfortable pajamas.
I had always pictured a fancy plated dinner at my wedding, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat.
It was only six, and I was just thinking that I should give up and go to bed when my phone vibrated.
My heart did a little skip when I saw it was from Jake.
Office manager Myra is worried about me
I told her I was getting married and would have benefits soon
She wants to meet you
Coworkers baby shower on Saturday. Myra will be there. Want to come with me?
Wifey