Chapter 21 Evan
EVAN
“Pull over,” Nate slurs from the passenger seat. “Now.”
“For fuck’s sake.” I flick my indicator on and pull onto the grass verge of the country road.
The second the car stops, Nate wrestles with his seatbelt, shoves the door open and leans out, hurling onto the grass like he’s trying to expel his soul.
“I’ve been telling you to slow down all night.”
He ignores me and continues to retch up his insides.
“Looks like the beers have finally come back to haunt you.” I look away, jaw clenched, trying not to gag. The smell hits my nose and bile creeps up my throat.
Behind me, Nora makes a small noise that sounds like she might be next.
I lean across and pat Nate’s back with the kind of sympathy you reserve for a man who’s done this to himself. “I hate to say I told you so.”
Nate lifts his head, spits, and wipes his mouth with his sleeve, his eyes droopy as if he’s just been put through the wringer. “Didn’t”—he coughs, then retches again—“ask.”
Nora’s pale, gripping her shawl in front of her nose. “How much did he drink?”
“I lost count,” I say, trying to lighten the mood. “He’s an adult. He made his own choices. Repeatedly and very enthusiastically.”
Nate groans. “Not. Helping.”
I twist in my seat and grab the bottle of water from the cup holder, shoving it into his hand. “Drink. Rinse. Try not to pass out till you get home.”
He takes it, swigs, then leans back against the headrest with a groan, closing his door. “I’m fine. Drive.”
I roll my eyes and tug the seatbelt over him. "It’s like I already have a baby. A very big baby. Do you need me to put a nappy on you too?” I drive back onto the road, keeping one eye on the dark lanes ahead and the other on Nate slumping deeper into his seat as if he’s melting.
The rest of the drive is quiet. Only the drone of the engine and Nate’s breathing, growing heavier and heavier until his head lolls towards the window like he’s already asleep.
Pulling into their driveway, I exhale as if I’ve been holding my breath the entire drive. “Home sweet home,” I say, even though it’s not my home, no matter how much I want it to be.
Nate makes a noise that sounds like a dying animal.
I kill the engine, hop out, and jog around to open his door.
He blinks up at me. “Evv…”
“Yeah?”
His eyes are glassy. “You’re… always…” Nate huffs, then mumbles, “I should be the one looking after you.”
I blink. “What?”
He points at me with a lazy finger and mumbles his words. “You’re driving. You’re sober. You’re always… responsible.”
“That’s because one of us has to keep the trio alive.” I lift my lips in the corner, a little smug at how I’m the sober one tonight.
“I mean… I should be… the man. I should be doing this. It should be me carrying you.”
I snort. “Mate, I nearly threw up watching you. Let’s not romanticise this moment.”
Nora shifts out of the back seat with my jacket in hand. “Nate…”
“I love you,” he slurs, pointing a finger at her, then to me. “And you.”
“Yeah, I love you, too. Now let’s get you into bed, princess. You need your beauty sleep.”
Nora mouths a thank you as I tuck myself under Nate’s arm and help him upstairs.
Nate’s mouth twitches on the bottom step. “You gonna…” He swallows, eyes dropping to the ground. “You gonna stay… and fuck my wife?”
Nora sucks in a sharp breath behind me.
I stiffen, but keep my voice light. “Not tonight.”
His brow pulls together. “Why not?”
“Because you’re not in any fit state,” I say, grabbing hold of his belt and hauling him up another step.
He stumbles, leaning most of his weight on me. “I’m never in a fit state.”
I pause, my grip on his belt tightening. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Sober. Drunk. Doesn’t matter. I’m no good.”
“Nate,” Nora says from the bottom of the stairs with a croak in her voice.
Nate sways on his feet, staring at the landing carpet. “Can’t even get my wife pregnant. What kind of man—”
“That’s enough.” I steer him towards the bedroom door. “Save the pity party for tomorrow when you’re not fermenting.”
In the bedroom, I drop him onto the bed and kneel to pull off his shoe.
He glares at me like I’ve robbed him.
“Don’t look at me like that.” I pull off the other shoe. “I’m doing you a favour.”
“I’m grateful.”
I was talking about helping him undress, but I think Nate is talking about something else.
Nora steps closer and undoes the buttons on his shirt. “I’ll put his shirt in the wash.” She disappears downstairs with the washing basket.
I continue with the rest of his clothes, undoing his belt and then the button and zip on his trousers. “Mate,” I sigh. “Lift up. Nearly there.”
He rolls his head down, blinking at me. “You’re like… my wife.”
“Don’t insult Nora like that,” I say with a chuckle.
Nate’s voice is barely a whisper. “She deserves better.”
I swallow hard, tugging at his trousers. “She deserves you.”
He huffs, but smiles with dopey eyes.
“You’re gonna have to help me out here, Nate.” I wrestle with his trousers, kneeling on the floor as I tug them down his pelvis.
His eyes widen as he gapes his crotch. I follow his line of sight and gulp at the erection beneath his black boxers, my face inches away.
My pulse quickens and flames lick at my cheeks.
His fingers drag through my hair. “You’re cute when you blush.”
“Fuck off.” I dip my head away from his hand, but gaze up into his eyes, breathing heavily through my nostrils. “How can you be hard right now?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I told you my dick is broken.”
I glare at him. “It takes more than strong sperm to be a father.”
We consider each other for a moment, then he nods.
Now free of his trousers, Nate gives a strangled laugh, then winces as he rolls over on the bed. “I’m gonna have a hangover from hell.”
“Good,” I say, pulling the duvet over him. “Suffering builds character.”
His eyes flicker closed, then open again like he can’t help himself. His voice is raw. “You’re gonna leave.”
I freeze, my hand still on the duvet. I don’t want to leave, but it doesn’t feel right to stay. “I’m not sleeping with you and the sick bucket.”
He huffs. “Nah. I mean… you’ll leave. When the baby comes…”
I swallow and straighten. Isn’t that the plan? What else am I supposed to do? “Go to sleep, Nate.”
His eyes drift towards the ceiling. “You’ll make a great dad.”
My chest tightens. “So will you.” I turn out the light and creep out of the bedroom, but leave the door ajar. Nate looks peaceful, despite the war in his head.
Downstairs, Nora’s in the hallway, arms wrapped around herself like she’s holding herself together.
“He’ll be asleep in five minutes.” I run a hand through my hair. “Do you need anything before I go?”
She gives me a small smile and shakes her head. “I’m fine. I'm just going to bed. It’s been a long day.”
It’s the same lie she’s told all night. The one she’s been telling the world for years. She’s not fine. Neither is Nate.
I step closer, keeping my hands to myself, because I don’t know what I’m allowed anymore. “Nora…”
Her eyes flick up to mine. “Thank you for… everything.”
I exhale. “I’m gonna go.”
Her brows pinch. “Evan—” She steps forward, and for a second I think she might hug me, but she stops herself.
What are we now?
Friends?
Family?
Something dangerous and secret?
“Text me when you get home.”
I nod. “Yeah. Course.”
I grab my keys, pause at the door, then glance back at her one last time.
She’s holding her shawl around her arms, makeup still perfect, but her tired eyes can’t lie.
I want to stay. I want to watch over Nate and take care of him like he has me many times. I want to hold Nora and let her drift asleep in my arms, but it’s not my place. I don’t live here. I’m just the donor and I need to remember that before I ruin everything.