Chapter 39 Nora
NORA
“You coming back in the pool?” Poppy says as she puts her book down at the side of the thermal relaxation bed.
“Not yet. I’m loving this heat on my back. Besides, I need to change my tampon. Ugh, I hate being on my period.”
“Ugh, me too. Dom doesn’t seem to mind, though.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That man is obsessed with you.”
“Says the woman with two men fawning over her.” Poppy laughs.
“Oh Poppy. It’s become really complicated.”
“You mean you’ve only just realised?” She laughs again. “It sounded complex when you first told me.”
“I just don’t know how to talk to Nate about it, and it’s like I have this secret.”
“You can tell me. I won’t say anything.”
“I think I’m falling in love with Ev. I mean, I always loved him as a friend, but now it just feels different and I want him to move in and stay over all the time. But then I feel like I’m betraying Nate, but I don’t love Nate any less. I want them both, but obviously I can’t have that.”
“Why don’t you think you can have both?” Poppy lifts her book from her bag and taps a red painted nail against the cover. “You should read this.”
I scan the cover, The Silence Lies by Sophie Dyer. “What’s it about?”
“It’s a ‘why choose’ mafia romance.” A smile curves her lips. “Reminds me of how me and Dom met.”
My eyes widen. Maybe Ev was right about Dom. I lean over onto my side and whisper, “Is Dom in the mafia?”
She laughs again. “Not exactly, but he was like my bodyguard.” She hands me the book. “That’s beside the point. The point is, she doesn’t just date the bodyguard.”
“So she has two boyfriends?”
“You keep that. I’m on book two now and she has three.” She picks the book she was reading from the floor. The Truth Hurts by Sophie Dyer. “The guys even join in with each other in this one. It’s hot.”
I whisper again, “You’re reading smut? I thought these were thrillers.”
Poppy smiles, a little too pleased with herself. “I love a discreet cover.”
“You see my problem, though?” I wave a hand towards her book.
“It says it all in the title. The. Truth. Hurts. How can I possibly tell Nate I want Evan to move in with us?” I lie back, letting the warmth from the bed soothe me.
“Besides, Evan has his own life. He probably doesn’t even want to move in.
It’s probably all in my head. And if he did, what do we tell people? ”
“Just don’t rule it out. I don’t know anyone personally who’s living that lifestyle, but I’ve read plenty of why choose books. Just because it’s not society’s norm, doesn’t mean it can’t be your norm.”
“You know I’m gonna need a list of those books.”
“I’ll text you. In exchange for all the sordid details of what you’ve been up to.”
I smile as I relay everything to her, thinking how sometimes I see Nate watching Evan or Evan watching Nate, like when he was in London and Ev didn’t take his eyes off the screen while Nate was touching himself.
It turns me on even more to think they get off watching each other.
I don’t know if that’s wishful thinking in the hopes we can all live together or if there is actually something there.
“You’re definitely living your best life,” Poppy says.
“Yes, but in my best life, I’m pregnant.” I smooth a hand over my damp swimming costume and rest it over my round stomach, imagining I’m already pregnant. “I sometimes wonder if it will ever happen at all.”
“You have to think positive. You can’t think like that. It’s gonna happen for both of us. You should listen to this audio I have.”
I burst out laughing. “What are you, a walking library?”
She laughs along with me, our laughter disrupting the tranquillity of the spa, but I don’t care if everyone else is looking our way and down their noses at us. We deserve to laugh between the sadness.