Chapter 46 Evan
EVAN
“Late for what?” I ask, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.
Nate gapes as if we’re late to a Coldplay concert he forgot he had tickets for.
“I’m not sure, I need to check the dates.” Nora flicks her eyes between the two of us.
Nate’s tearing up as if he really has missed out on a Coldplay concert.
Nora’s eyes turn glassy, filling with unshed tears. “All I know is the spa was the last day of my period.” A smile breaks through, pushing her cheeks up, and a tear leaks onto her flushed cheek, but she seems happy. Really fucking happy.
I close both hands around hers. It hits me in the stomach. Spelling might not be my strong suit, but I can do math. “You’re six days late.”
A hand flies to her mouth, hiding her beaming smile as if she daren’t let herself get this happy, as if she’s afraid to hope, so she hides it. “Really?” she mumbles behind her hand. Another tear drips onto her cheek as she meets Nate’s eyes.
His shiny, deep brown eyes mirror hers, and he blows out an uneven breath.
My chest thumps loudly, I can hear the blood pumping through my veins.
I want to believe it, but I’m scared for them, scared they’ll get their hopes up, just for it all to come crashing down.
The higher you are, the harder the fall.
I witnessed the devastation last time. Nora was fine at work that morning, then by evening, her whole world had caved in.
“Do you want to leave now and get a test?” I hold her hand in both mine.
Nate’s palm rests above ours.
Nora lets out a small laugh, her breath trembling. “I’m eating my dinner first. I’m starving. But I’m not drinking any more wine.”
Nate reaches for the bottle and pours the rest into his glass, draining it in one swallow. “Right,” he says finally, voice rough. “Six days.” He laughs under his breath, shaking his head, then scrubs a hand over his face as if he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Breathe, Nate.” I laugh along with him, despite my heart pounding my ribs as if it’s trying to break free and get the hell out of here.
Nora smiles through tears. “You look like you might pass out.”
“I might.” Nate shakes his head. “You’ve never been over two days late.”
The restaurant noise fades into the background until only our heavy breathing remains. Six days late. The number echoes in my head. I want to believe it.
Nate places his hand back over mine and Nora’s. Three hands stacked together on the table, and this time I don’t pull away when the server comes. This time I’m not an extra person at their table. I’m right where I belong.
“Everything satisfactory with the meals?” the server says.
We all nod and thank her.
“Can I get you any more wine or drinks?”
“No, thank you,” I say, knowing we’ll be going as soon as we’ve finished this meal.
Nora swirls her carbonara around her fork and pops it into her mouth.
“You not feeling queasy anymore?” Nate twirls spaghetti around his fork.
She shakes her head. “It’s passed. I felt it at work too when I was in the kitchen and got a whiff of coffee, but I didn’t think much of it.”
I scoop up my salmon and pasta in a creamy sauce and nod along with her.
“I’ve not used my ovulation tests this month or my period tracker. I just stopped thinking about it with everything going on with…” Her cheeks blush a deeper shade of red. “You know. We’ve just been enjoying each other’s company. I haven’t had time to think about what day of the month it is.”
Nate huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, we’ve had sex most days. I’m surprised Ev has any sperm left.”
“Sixty million, mate. I’m a conveyor belt, not a tank. Those swimmers just keep on coming.” I shovel more pasta into my mouth, my lips curving into a smug grin as I chew.
Nate picks up an olive and flicks it at me, landing it in my pasta. “Nora, we’ve created a monster.”
Nora giggles, the sound warming me and filling my heart, settling my soul. The last few weeks, she’s laughed more easily, smiled without forcing it, existed without sadness sitting behind her eyes. Now I live for the sound of her laugh, like a balm to my soul.
Nate shakes his head, but he’s smiling too, eyes brighter than I’ve seen in months.
“Sixty million,” he mumbles while chewing on a meatball.
“You sound like a fertility advert. You should ask the clinic if they want any brochures designing and printing.” He chuckles.
“That conveyor belt sentence is a great tagline.”
I smile, chewing another forkful of pasta.
“You sound jealous, but don’t worry, Nate.
I have enough for the both of us.” I lean over the table, lowering my voice.
“If Nora doesn’t need it anymore, you be a good boy and I’ll make sure you get your fill.
” I wink, my mind already running ahead.
Until now, I’ve always finished inside Nora.
But if she’s pregnant, there are so many other ways to play.
He tosses another olive at my plate. “You wish, bud.”
Nora laughs, shaking her head and scraping the last of the carbonara from her plate.
I try to focus on my food, but every bite tastes like nothing. It’s as if my brain can’t register anything other than test results, appointments, tiny socks, and a future I wasn’t sure I’d ever have. Or even wanted.
Nora sets her fork down. “You all right, Nate?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re about to cry,” she says as she leans over to kiss his cheek.
“I’m not.” His voice hitches, betraying his words.
I wish I could hold him right now, my vision blurring with unshed tears. “You absolutely are.”
He drags a hand over his mouth, eyes glassy. “I just—” He stops, exhales hard. “I don’t want to get excited and then…”
I rise from my seat, pulling out my wallet. “Come on, let’s get that test.” I can’t sit here another minute pretending I’m normal while not even being able to taste my food.
Nora stands, her hand drifting unconsciously to her stomach. “What if it’s nothing?”
I slide her chair in, my hand settling instinctively at the small of her back. “Then it’s nothing, and we carry on as we are.”
“But if it’s not…” she whispers, barely audible.
My words stick in my throat as I peer at Nate. He looks to Nora, and the three of us hold our breath as if saying the same silent prayer.