Chapter 47 Nate
NATE
“Did you get it?” Nora asks as I climb into the back of Ev’s car, my hands laden with shopping bags.
Ev peers over from the driver’s seat. “You only went in for a pregnancy test. What the hell have you bought?”
“Stuff. Just get us home.” I buckle my seatbelt and slide my hand in Nora’s. I left my car at the restaurant after drinking the wine, and I didn’t want Nora driving it with all these emotions going through her head.
She tangles her fingers with mine, calming the thudding of my heart.
Her other hand still rests on her round stomach as if she’s already in her second trimester or whatever they call it.
Sometimes in bed, I thread my fingers through hers and hold her soft belly, imagining she really is pregnant with my kid. But that dream will never come to pass.
I inhale a deep breath, then exhale, trying to stay calm for her and Ev.
Now I have a different picture in my mind.
One that includes Ev. And weirdly, it’s better.
With a sigh, I drop my head back against the seat, fingers still locked with Nora’s, and close my eyes.
I’ve bought enough provisions for both outcomes.
Nonalcoholic champagne, ice cream, red wine, chocolates.
In less than fifteen minutes, we’ll either be celebrating or commiserating.
The engine roars as Ev pulls out onto the road. Streetlights sweep through the car, lighting Ev’s face in flashes. His jaw’s tight, eyes fixed on the road, harder than necessary.
If I know Ev, he’s probably overthinking right now, his brain going a mile a minute. I reach forward and squeeze his shoulder, needing to ground myself as much as him.
His eyes flick to the mirror, meeting mine before dropping back to the road.
Nora shifts beside me as we turn onto our street.
Our home has become so much more than bricks and mortar. It’s a place where the three of us can be ourselves, openly without judgement.
The car rolls to a stop on the driveway, gravel crunching beneath the tyres. None of us move. The engine clicks as it cools, like a ticking clock that matches the rhythm of my heart.
“Well,” I say, clearing my throat. “You ready, dimples?” I step out of the car, needing air. Cold evening wind hits my face as I grab the bags.
“I can carry one of those bags, Nate.” Sketchbook tucked under her arm, she reaches for a bag.
“I know, but you don’t need to.”
Ev unlocks the front door with his key and holds it open for us. We step inside. The familiar warmth of the house wraps around us. Everything looks exactly the same, but everything could change in the next ten minutes.
I set the bags on the kitchen counter and hunt for the pack of three tests I bought. “I hope you need to pee.”
Nora smiles, kicks off her shoes, and starts filling the kettle. “Anyone want a drink?”
Ev squints, his arms folded. “You’re making tea?”
She nods. “Tea helps everything.”
“Pretty sure tea doesn’t confirm pregnancies,” he says as he drops his arms and paces the kitchen.
“It helps nerves,” she says, getting a teabag from the cupboard.
I wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss her neck. “You don’t need to be nervous. I’m here.” I tilt my head and flick my eyes at Ev as if to say, get out of your head and get over here.
Ev steps closer and wraps his arms around us both.
“See. Both your men are here. We can do this together.”
Nora laughs, barely a whisper with a shaky breath. “You’re gonna help me pee?”
I shrug with a curve of my lips. “I can hold the stick.”
Her eyes flick between us. “You’re not watching me while I pee.”
I huff out a laugh. “After everything we’ve done together, I think peeing on a stick is at the bottom of the kink scale.”
“You can wait outside. It takes a minute to show up, anyway.” She abandons her tea and lifts the test from the counter, making her way to the downstairs toilet.
Ev and I wait outside the door, eyes locked on each other. He exhales beside me. My fingers find his and interlace, my thumb smoothing circles on the back of his hand.
Ev shifts. “You okay?”
I drop my head and stare at the thin strip of light under the bathroom door. “Yeah, I think so.” I scrub a hand over my face. “I’ve spent years imagining this moment. Nora telling me she’s pregnant. “I always pictured… different circumstances.”
“With you being the dad.” Pity flickers in his eyes, and my stomach clenches.
“Yeah.” I cup his face and lean in to press my lips against his, holding them there a little longer.
His fingers curl around my neck as he kisses me back, just small kisses against my lips, soft and gentle, as if we’re too fragile right now for anything more.
I pull away and gaze into his eyes. “I don’t care who the dad is, Ev. Not anymore. I just want her to be happy.”
He pushes his glasses up. “I want that too.”
The flush sounds from the toilet. I straighten my spine. A soft click on the door, then Nora drifts out in a daze, holding the stick with a shaky hand.
Ev’s fingers tighten around mine. “You okay, doodles?”
She looks up, her watery eyes flicking between the both of us.
I take her hand and lead her into the living room. We sit on the sofa, her in the middle holding the stick in her palm as if it’s a winning lottery ticket.
The three of us focus on it, waiting. Perched on the edge of our seats. My heart pounds so hard I can hear it in my ears.
Nora’s watery eyes flick between the both of us. “I…” A broken, disbelieving sound escapes her lips. “I think… I think it’s positive.” She turns the stick towards us, the plastic window rattling in her shaky hand.
I don’t even properly see it before my vision blurs.
Ev leans forward, squinting at the stick as if it’s written in another language. “What am I looking at?”
“There’s two lines. That means positive, right?”
I take it from her carefully, my hands trembling, and nearly drop it.
Two lines.
Two bright, unmistakable pink lines.
“Nora—” My voice breaks completely. I drag a hand over my mouth, a laugh bursting out of me that turns into a sob. “Dimples.”
Nora lets out a shaky cry at the same time, tears spilling freely now. “Nate—”
I grab her before she can finish, pulling her into me and holding her as if she’s a fragile doll that needs wrapping in cotton wool. “You’re pregnant,” I choke out against her hair. “You’re actually pregnant.” I pepper her face with kisses, pouring everything out of me.
Years of appointments. Tests. Timetables. Disappointment. Watching her pretend she was fine when she wasn’t. All of it floods out of me at once.
My shoulders shake as I hold back the tears threatening to break this dam I’ve built around myself. “You did it,” I whisper hoarsely. “You fucking did it.”
“I didn’t do it alone,” she says, reaching for Evan.
Ev’s stunned, his glasses fogging slightly as his eyes fill.
Nora wraps one arm around him and pulls him closer, then we’re tangled together in the middle of the sofa, Nora crying and laughing and holding on like none of us knows where one person ends and the other begins.
Ev reaches out a hand, pulling my forehead against his as we breathe heavily against each other. “Are we…?” he says, his voice wrecked. “Are we actually having a baby?”
We, the three of us.
“Yeah,” I breathe. “We are.”
“I thought—” His hands drop to Nora’s stomach. “I didn’t think this would actually work.”
Nora cups his face. “Neither did I.” Her fingers slide into his hair. “I was so scared it would never happen.”
I grab his shirt and pull him into a kiss, fierce and grateful and overwhelmed. “We’re having a baby,” I whisper.
“Our baby,” Nora says, clinging to us like survivors, because that’s what we are: survivors who’ve battled for years and come out the other side.
The war’s not over yet. We still have to get through this pregnancy, but we’ve crossed the first hurdle, the one that’s been the most difficult, and now we’re flying on the wings of our success.
But we couldn’t have done this without Ev. I owe him my life, and he can have it. I’d marry him if I could. This is a debt I’ll never be able to repay. He’s made our family whole, and I don’t mean with this baby. It’s him. It’s having him here with us that makes us complete.
Nora takes the pregnancy test from me and holds it in her hand.
I peer down at it again, just to be sure.
Two lines.
Still there.
Relief floods me so violently my legs weaken. Years of pressure and failing my wife, just… gone.
I drop to my knees in front of the sofa, pressing both hands to Nora’s soft stomach and kiss her there.
She laughs through tears. “Nate, it’s literally the size of an apple pip.”
“I don’t care,” I say as I kiss her again. “Hi, baby Pip.”
Ev lets out a small laugh above me, wiping his face under his glasses. “You’re already talking to it?”
“Course I am.” I grin like an idiot. “I’ve been waiting years.”
Ev laughs again. “What else did you buy from the shop? We should celebrate, seeing as we didn’t finish our anniversary meal.”
“Nonalcoholic champagne, chocolates, ice cream. The works.”
Nora sniffles. “Open it.”
I rise from the floor and head into the open-plan kitchen. My hands still shake as I grab the bottle.
The cork pops loudly, echoing through the kitchen. All three of us jump, then burst into laughter again.
I pour three flutes badly, spilling some onto the counter.
We clink glasses, hands still trembling.
“To us,” I say.
“To us,” Ev echoes.
Nora’s smile wobbles as fresh tears fall. “To our family.”
I reach for both of them, pulling them closer until we’re pressed together, three bodies, one breath, one life we somehow built without meaning to. Standing in our kitchen behind closed doors, our world is perfect. Outside these four walls is a different story, but we can figure it out together.