Chapter 51 Nate #2
Her words slice through me. “I should’ve told you, but we didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up in case it didn’t work.”
“Nate, I’m sure there’s something that can be done. You can get treatment. You can still have a baby of your own.”
“Mum. We are having a baby of our own.”
“But it won’t have your blood.”
My fingers curl into my palms, nails biting into skin as heat crawls up my neck. I thought I’d made peace with this. But hearing my mother say it out loud cracks a piece of my heart I didn’t know was still bleeding.
She goes on, each word like a stab to the chest. “It won’t have your DNA, your eyes, or anything.”
I ignore the way my chest aches and swallow down the rage bubbling in my throat. “But I’ll get to be a father, and you’ll get to be a grandma again.”
“That baby will never be my grandbaby.” She rises from her chair, the legs scraping against the wooden floor.
“Nate?” Nora’s voice shakes behind me.
Hairs prickle on the back of my neck. I turn around and take in her pale face. My stomach clenches. The fight in me is more ferocious than ever.
The plate in her hands slips, the cake she spent hours baking and decorating splats on the floor and crumbles with the cracked cake stand.
Mum gawks at the shattered porcelain like something precious has just been broken and not just her mother’s cake stand. Her lips tighten as she turns back to me. “How could you do this to us, Nate?” As if all this is my fault. Even now, even with my brother gone, I’m still not good enough for her.
Evan rushes into the dining room. “What happened?”
Nora drops to the floor as if her knees have given way.
“Careful.” Evan crouches beside her, picking up the broken pieces of the plate.
I rise from the seat.
Alfie, Lucy, and Dad all appear in the doorway, Alfie’s eyes wide. “What happened to the cake?”
My heart thunders in my chest and it takes every muscle in my body to stay calm. “No cake today, buddy.” I turn back to my mother, her face wrinkled as if she’s aged ten years in the last few minutes.
She slides her chair under the table with a tight lip, then wipes at her cheek as she steps over the carnage around Nora and Ev. “Come on, Alfie.” She guides him out of the room. “We’ll just have to spoil you, won’t we?”
Tears swell behind my eyes.
Nora’s already sniffling as she tries to put the cake back together.
Evan picks up more broken pieces of porcelain. “Leave it, Nora, we can buy one from the shop.”
“I can fix it.” Her eyes plead with me as if I can help fix things, but there’s no fixing this.
My family will never accept our child, and if they did, it would always be competing with my nephew. Just like I’m always competing with my brother. Even now, from the grave, he still haunts me.
I clench my fists, close my eyes and count to five, determined not to let my emotions show. “Leave it. Let’s go.”
“What’s going on here?” Dad says, exploring the carnage.
“I don’t know,” Ev says, rising to his feet. “Nora just dropped the plate.”
“Nate, please. We can salvage this and talk about it.”
“Talk about what?” Ev says.
Lucy shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn’t know what’s going on either.
“Son?” Dad gapes at me. “What have you said to your mother? She’s in tears.”
“What have I said?” I huff. “Why don’t you ask her what she said?”
Dad surveys the destruction all over the floor, Nora on her knees holding pieces of the cake together, tears streaking her cheeks. “Sweetheart.”
“Don’t worry, Dad. You won’t have to deal with me and my family again. If my baby isn’t welcome here, then I don’t want to be here either.” I step over the small pieces of porcelain, past Ev, and help Nora to her feet. “Let’s go, dimples.”
She places the pieces of cake on the side, then swipes her cheek. “I’m sorry, Peter.”
“Sorry for what? Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?” He slams his bottle on the dining table. “Is this about that porcelain plate? It might have been her mother’s, but it’s not worth getting upset over.”
Mum comes back into the room, her face hardened. “It’s about Nate lying to us. Nora’s baby isn’t his. It’s Evan’s.”
Dad’s jaw drops. “Nora, you didn’t?” There’s only two times I’ve seen my dad with the wind knocked out of him. The first time was when my brother died, and the second is now. He turns to Ev, raising a finger. “You get out of my house.”
Alfie stands on his tiptoes in the doorway and Lucy ushers him back down the hall out of sight.
I step in front of Ev, his body stiff, holding pieces of porcelain as if he can somehow hold this family together with his bare hands. “You think she had an affair?” He should know the truth about the three of us. “Dad, we love each other—”
“Nate,” Ev says. “Let’s go before someone says something they regret.”
I laugh. “You think enough hasn’t been said already?” I point to my mother. “You don’t deserve to be a grandmother to my kid.”
“Nate, that’s enough,” Dad shouts.
I wave a hand between them. “Yeah, fucking take her side like you always do.”
“Language. You will not talk like that in this house,” Mum shouts, her face flushed, her cheeks streaked with dry tears.
“Don’t worry. I won’t be coming back.” I take hold of Nora’s hand and pull her towards me, but Mum’s in the doorway.
“Your brother would never have disrespected us like this.”
“I love Samuel and I honour him every day, but I’ll never live up to him. Even now that he’s gone, I still have to compete. I’m fucking tired of it.”
Evan places the broken pieces onto the table and then places a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s go, Nate. Everyone needs some time.”
“I haven’t finished.” I clench my jaw, holding back my emotions.
“They may as well know the truth.” I turn back to my parents, ready to tell them everything and finally stop hiding who we are.
I’ve been ready for a long time. I just need to rip the Band-Aid off.
“This isn’t an affair. This was planned.
” The words rush out of me, desperate to tell them Evan isn’t just a donor.
He’s mine too. We’re a family. “All of us. We—”
“Nate.” Ev squeezes my shoulder, forcing me to face him. His eyes plead behind his glasses, his cheeks flushed as he shakes his head. His vulnerability knocks the words right out of me. He’s not ready for this.
The truth is, he’ll never be ready. I choke it down along with the truth that I’ll never be enough for my parents, just like I have my whole life. I shrug out of his grip and hold Nora’s hand tighter as I weave between my parents, not looking at any of them.
Lucy stands in the hallway, her eyes sympathetic. But I don’t need her sympathy.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Luce.” I peer over her shoulder. Alfie’s in the kitchen with his Nintendo. “Is the kid good?”
She nods. “He’ll be fine.” She pats my arm and hugs Nora. “Call me, okay?”
Nora sniffles, wiping her cheeks with a nod as she chokes down another sob, unable to speak.
Ev gathers our coats and is out the door first, pulling my car keys from my jacket pocket. He climbs into my car and starts the engine.
Rain hits my face as I rush to the car, still gripping Nora tightly, afraid if I loosen my hold she might crumble completely, or worse, disappear back into that house where she’s unwanted.
Evan doesn’t look at us as we reach the driveway. The engine’s already running, wipers scraping back and forth as if they can erase what just happened.
I open the back door and help Nora inside. She curls in on herself, arms wrapping around her stomach.
My chest hollows at the sight. “I’ve got you,” I murmur, brushing damp hair from her cheek before closing the door gently. I should crawl into the back with her, but I’m shaking so much I need some space to calm down.
Evan grips the steering wheel, knuckles white, eyes fixed straight ahead as I round the car.
I told myself back there we were a team. That whatever my parents threw at us, we’d face it together. But the way his jaw locks, the way he won’t even glance at me, feels like I’m the only one willing to fight for this family.
I yank open the passenger door, unable to look back at my parents’ house, but unable to look at Evan either.
Tonight didn’t just break things with my family, it’s broken something between us too.