Chapter 55 Evan
EVAN
Cal instructs one of our contractors where the main sign goes outside the gym while I rub down the vinyl on the windows. My phone pings. Another text from Nora.
Nora: I miss you.
I slip the phone back into my pocket, the knife that’s stuck in my chest twisting again.
It’s been two weeks since I walked out on them.
I’m still avoiding the office as much as I can, but it’s not getting easier like I thought it would.
I remember when we first set up this business with a small vinyl cutter, and poster printer in a small unit we rented in town.
Nate and I would always do the fitting, and Nora kept the shop open while doing her illustrations and designs.
Sometimes she’d come on site with us if the job required her to hand paint a mural or sign.
They were always the best times. The three of us working and laughing together.
Now I can’t bear to be in the same room with them. It hurts too much.
“So the studio’s been talking.” Cal peels off the adhesive backing to the window graphics and rubs it down with a cloth.
I should have known it would only be a matter of time before they picked up on the awkwardness, my absence, and Nora’s sadness. “What are they saying?”
Cal pauses and faces me. “That you’ve been having an affair with Nora and got her pregnant, and Nate’s found out.”
I clench my jaw and carry on with my task, smoothing the bubbles in the vinyl.
“Is it true? Is the baby yours?”
“Yes,” I say on a sigh, not really wanting to get into this on the street with everyone passing and hearing my business.
“Fuck.” Cal smooths a hand over his long hair tied back in a knot. “If it helps, you can talk to me. I’ve been there.”
I tilt my head towards him, my hands flat against the window holding the application tape. “What?”
He waves a hand towards me. “I’ve been there. Exactly this. Done that and got the fucking t-shirt and the baby.” He huffs out a laugh. “Well, he’s not a baby anymore, but yeah. I know what you’re going through, if it helps.”
“You and Steph?” I gawk at him.
“She’s been my best friend since we were kids.
We dated at uni. I fucked up. We drifted apart.
Didn’t see each other for twenty years, then she started working at Browns.
I walked into the office, and there she was.
My Steph.” He takes over rubbing the graphics onto the window as I just stand there gawping.
“It was like I’d been given a second chance, only thing was she was married to the wrong man.
” His jaw clenches. “I fucking hated him. It drove me insane knowing she was going back home to him every night. I couldn’t stand it, and I wanted her for myself. ”
“So you had an affair?” My eyes are practically bugging out of my head.
“Yeah. She got pregnant.” He screws up the discarded application tape, then places a hand on my shoulder.
“All I’m saying is, if that kid’s yours and you both love each other, don’t waste time like me and Steph did.
We made so many bad choices, and it took us ages to figure our shit out.
If Nora wants to stay with Nate, then find a way to co-parent. ”
I nod and pick up all the rubbish from the window fit. “So what happened with you and Steph’s ex?”
Cal shrugs, helping me gather the tools from the floor. “He was pissed. But he got over it. He babysits for us now.”
“Babysits?” I can’t help the laugh rumble out of me. I haven’t laughed in a while and I don’t hate it.
“Yeah, when he’d take Cassie and Cairen anywhere on weekends, Caleb would want to go so he’d take him too. He’s a good dad. Same with my ex, she and her fella take him when they have the girls. Whatever happens, you put the kid first.”
I nod. That’s what I’m doing. I’m putting our kid first, even if nobody else gets it. “I had no idea you were so philosophical.”
“It comes with old age, mate.” He chuckles. “But see these grey hairs.” He scratches the short black and grey hairs on his jaw. “These are from five fucking kids. Those little shits will make you grey before your time, I tell you, but it’s all worth it.”
I follow Cal and drop the tools in the van parked at the side of the road outside the gym. Behind the back door, I mumble, “It wasn’t just Nora.”
Cal turns around, his eyebrows pulling together.
I search our surroundings and lower my voice. “It was Nate, too.”
His eyes widen. “You’re shagging Nate too? Like separately?”
“Keep your voice down, will you?” I shake my head and swallow. “Together. We had a plan to get Nora pregnant. Nate couldn’t do it, so…” I rock back on my heels, shoving my hands in my pockets.
Cal blinks. His mouth opens and closes again. “Okay.” He points to me, then inside the van, as if he’s trying to figure out the logistics of what I just said. “So… not an affair.”
“No.” I stand at the back of the van with Cal, the open doors giving us some privacy.
He nods as if it’s all becoming clear. “A… group project?”
I huff out a breath that might almost be a laugh. “Something like that.”
His lips unfurl into a smile. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.”
I point a finger in his direction. “You can’t tell anyone.”
He holds his hands up with a laugh. “Mate, I have no intention of being the guy to explain the logistics of this one.” He shakes his head as if still in shock. “Honestly, one woman is enough to keep me on my toes. You managing a woman and a man is impressive.”
I shake my head, rubbing a hand over my face. “It’s not funny.”
“I know,” he says, closing the van door. “But if I don’t joke, this conversation gets heavy real fast.” He leans back against the door, folding his arms. “So, you love them both?”
I nod slowly, my chest aching with how much I miss them. “Yeah.”
“Then what’s wrong? Why aren’t you all together?” He studies me with a furrowed brow.
“I stepped away to protect them.” I rub my temples with my fingers. “Nate’s family would never accept us. I want to protect our kid from all the name-calling and judgement that could come from an unconventional family dynamic.”
“Mate, nobody has a traditional family anymore. Look at us, we have five kids with three different sets of parents.” He waves a hand in the air, the names of his kids on his wrist. “Out of all Caleb’s friends, there aren’t many whose parents are still together.
Lots of kids grow up with two dads. Just not all get to live with both of them at the same time. But who gives a shit?”
I know he’s right. This is the sort of lecture Emilie would give me. “But Nate’s parents?”
“Unless you’re sleeping with them too, I don’t think it’s any of their business. They either like it or lump it.”
“My mum said the statistics for a throuple to stay together are slim to none.” I close the van doors and lock up.
“So you might get to be happy together for a year. Two years. Three. That’s more than some people get in a lifetime. Take it. Nothing’s promised. You could get knocked down by a bus tomorrow.”
I huff. It wasn’t even a year. It was three months.
Twelve weeks and two days to be exact until everything ruptured.
We were so happy. And now it has to be enough.
That happiness has to sustain me for the rest of my life.
I’ve spent the last two weeks convincing myself I did the right thing, but this is only getting harder when every bone in my body craves to drive home.
To them.