Chapter 2 - Jade
“Jade, I need these invoices put into the system before you leave.” Ryan, my boss, tossed a stack of papers onto my desk.
It shook slightly, and I looked up from my computer, taking in the massive pile.
I glanced at the time, seeing I was supposed to be getting out of work in half an hour, but what he was giving me was several hours’ worth of work.
I swallowed, trying to find my voice. “Ryan, I don’t think I’ll have all of this done by the time I have to leave.”
Ryan sighed, giving me a look. “Then stay late. You can have overtime.”
I wouldn’t have a problem staying late if it didn’t mean I would have to pick up Ilsa from daycare later.
But I had already stayed late on Monday and Wednesday.
I knew they were going to be pissed if I called, saying I would pick her up late again tonight.
It was Friday, and they liked to get out as soon as possible.
“I can’t stay late tonight,” I said softly. “I have to grab Ilsa from daycare, and they aren’t open late tonight. I can come in early on Monday.”
Ryan crossed his arms, his face looking annoyed. “I need these on my desk by Monday at seven. Take them home then. But don’t lose any of the papers like you did last time.”
I slowly nodded, reaching out and grabbing the stack. “Of course. I’ll have them for you by Monday.”
Ryan turned without another word, and I chewed on my lower lip. I had planned to spend the entire weekend with Ilsa, but that wasn’t going to happen. Ilsa would be disappointed if I changed my plans.
I shoved the papers into a binder and packed everything up.
I left, heading into my car outside. I turned the key, saying a silent prayer that it would start up.
It turned over a few times before it finally came to life.
I sighed, sagging against my seat. I needed to have my car looked at, but I couldn’t afford it.
I had spent a little extra last month on Ilsa to get her a bigger bed, and I was still paying that off.
I penny-pinched to make ends meet. Even with the overtime, that money had a destination.
I needed groceries, or we needed something new for the house.
The microwave broke, and I had to wait three months before we could get a new one.
We needed a new dishwasher, but I couldn’t afford one right away, so we had to wash dishes by hand.
It took six months to save up enough to get a new one.
I arrived at the small daycare that was run by bitchy women, but they took care of the kids, and the price was reasonable. As long as Ilsa was taken care of, I didn’t care if they didn’t like me.
I went inside and spotted Ilsa sitting at the kids’ table playing with blocks. I softly smile, taking her in. She had light brown hair that I had pinned back. She had bangs that sat just above her eyes. Her light honey colored eyes.
She was wearing a strawberry dress that she just had to have when we were out shopping a couple of months ago. She cried when I told her no, so I bought it and put back the socks that I had needed. I could wear socks with holes for a couple more weeks.
“Ilsa, your mother is here,” Fiano spoke up from the counter. She offered me a smile that didn’t meet her eyes. “You’re on time today.”
I slowly nodded, ducking my eyes down to the ground. I chewed on my cheek for a moment before Ilsa wrapped her arms around my leg, giving me a big grin. “Mommy.”
I felt my heart skip a beat as I stared at her. She was a blessing to me. The only real joy in my life. I would do anything to keep that smile on her face.
I bent down, pulling her into my arms. Her fingers wrapped around me as she clung to me. “How was your day?” I asked.
She beamed. “It was good…we painted.”
“Oh yeah?” I said, as I turned, grabbing her backpack from her cubby.
“Yeah, it’s drying though.”
“Well, you can show me on Monday then.” I looked over at Fiano, who dismissively waved at me. We slipped out and headed to the car.
“Are we going to the park tomorrow? And then you said we could go to the swimming pool.”
My stomach dipped at the thought of all the paperwork that sat in the front seat. I forced a smile, though. “Of course. We’re going to do so much tomorrow.”
“No work?” she asked, her eyes looking at me with worry.
I shook my head. “No work.”
She smiled as I buckled her into the car. As we drove home, I turned on her favorite music and let her sing along. Ilsa bounced in her car seat, singing and waving her hands as she did.
As we got home, I unbuckled her and grabbed my bag from the car. I held her hand as we headed to our front door. We lived in a small apartment complex. It wasn’t a huge space, but it was our own, and I could afford it.
I unlocked the front door, and we slipped into the hallway.
Ilsa bounced down the hallway, still humming the music from the car.
I smiled as I unlocked our front door and pushed it open.
I clicked the light on, and Ilsa walked inside.
She slipped her shoes off, knowing to put them on the shoe rack.
She moved, sliding into the small living room that consisted of a small couch and our dingy TV.
She grabbed the remote, flicking the TV on to a show she liked.
I locked the front door and turned on the kitchen light.
I frowned, remembering I hadn’t cleaned up from dinner last night.
Our kitchen was small, with a sink that leaked occasionally and a stove with only three working burners. The landlord always told me he was going to get me something new, but then somehow forgot every time I asked.
I opened the fridge, pulling out the chicken we were going to have for dinner. I glanced over toward Ilsa as she sat on the couch. Her eyes were glued to the TV. I softly smiled.
I constantly questioned whether I was doing the right thing and if the steps I had taken were correct. But looking at her, I knew I was doing okay. She was well-fed, happy, and a well-behaved kid. It was better than some children at the day care.
I cooked dinner, and we ate on our small dining set that was pressed against the back of the couch. Ilsa told me about her day. She played in the playground, and then they painted before lunch. They had reading time, and she even got to help Fiano with stuff around the classroom.
Ilsa yawned, and I glanced at my phone, checking the time. It was a few minutes past seven. I smiled at her. “Sweetie, it’s bedtime. Why don’t you go change into your pajamas, and I’ll come read you a book?”
She nodded her head, the day’s events starting to catch up to her.
I cleaned up the kitchen and put the leftovers away before going to her bedroom.
Ilsa’s room was small with a kid’s bed pressed against the corner.
She had a smiley face rug and a small container of Barbies sitting in the opposite corner.
There was a small lamp sitting next to her bed that we kept on as a night light.
I walked over, pulled her book up, and read her a chapter. I watched her eyes grow heavy as I read, before she fell asleep. I kissed her forehead before slipping out of the room.
I walked back into the living room, suddenly feeling like such a shitty mother. It was like a hand grabbing at me and wrapping its fingers around my mind. It wasn’t like this was the life I had thought I would be choosing.
Three years ago, my world was so different. I was just deciding which college I wanted to attend and what I wanted to do with my life.
That night fogged my head, bringing back memories I tried hard to suppress. It was like any other day, but I ended up sleeping with Brandon by the end of it. Brandon, the future Alpha that everyone thought was so sweet. The man who took my virginity and then left me in the dust.
I thought of that night, how he sweet-talked me, his lips soft against my skin as he pulled at my dress.
I had been high on that feeling. I felt like the prettiest woman in the world.
Brandon, the man every girl in our school wanted, was kissing me.
He was pulling at my clothes, his cock hard against my thigh.
I remember him pulling me into my bedroom and falling onto my bed. Brandon had been sweet, kissing every part of my body. He had filled me, and I remember my nails scratching down his back.
I shook my head, clearing the memory away. I pressed my hand to my forehead. Because as magically as that had been, it wasn’t a happy ending. I remember how he climbed off of me, and like a Band-Aid being ripped off, rejected me.
“That was fun. We got it out of our system.”
We had been walking around each other for months, knowing, but never uttering the words. Brandon was my mate, but he could reject me. I wasn’t a full shifter; my blood mixed with my mother’s, a witch. Everyone would understand if he wanted someone else.
But he’d kissed me. He’d pulled me into my room. He’d sweet-talked me. So, I thought he was accepting me. I thought he was okay with it. For God’s sake, he was my brother’s best friend.
I had been wrong and tried hard to put it behind me. I could just focus on school and establish a life for myself. But then my period never came, and my world tipped upside down.
I remember staring at the test for hours. I sat on my bathroom floor, no tears forming. I just stared, my hand numb on my stomach as I pictured what my life was going to be. No school. No future. A child for whom I would be responsible.
I’d thought of aborting. It was only a moment, but I had thought about it. Brandon had rejected me, so a child wasn’t going to change that. I was just a graduate student from high school. I had no job, no money, no home. I had nothing.
But I remembered just how badly I couldn’t do that. Even if Brandon wasn’t around, even if I didn’t deserve this baby, I couldn’t just give it up.