Chapter 2 - Jade #2
I felt tears break and I quickly wiped at them. I had worked hard. I studied hard while pregnant, taking courses to improve my technology abilities. I learned everything and anything I could that I knew would be useful for a position.
I worked on Excel and studied how to make spreadsheets. I worked hard on typing and ensuring I could type quickly without mistakes. I spent hours searching for jobs that offered good health insurance, as well as ones where I could stay and thrive.
I interviewed and got rejected left and right. Each month, my stomach grew bigger, and with it, a weight seemed to press down on me. And then something finally gave.
There was an opening as a bookkeeper in the County office. It was in the back, away from people. They were desperate for someone, anyone, to come in. However, they required at least three years of experience.
It was the first time I put everything into myself. I showed off just how quick I was to learn, how hard I had worked on my skills. I had got it.
A month later, I had found my crappy little apartment. It was only supposed to be for a year, but at least it was a start.
Ilsa was my everything, and when I gave birth to her alone at the hospital, I knew that I had made the best choice of my life. She was my air and my soul. She was my everything.
I shook my head and squared my shoulders. I walked over, grabbing my briefcase. I pulled it open and plopped all the paper down onto the table. I sat down, staring at it all. I was exhausted, deep to my bones, but I promised her a day of fun tomorrow, and I was giving her just that.
I woke the next morning to my phone going off. I groaned, rolling over and glancing at it. My stomach dipped as I realized it was my father. I sat up, rubbing a hand over my face, and answered it.
“Hello?”
“Morning, Jade. I need you to come down to the house.”
I blinked, trying to shake my sleep off. I sat up a little more, swinging my legs out from under my sheets. “I…what?”
“I need you to come to the house. You and Ilsa are expected within the next hour.”
I shook my head. “Dad, that’s not…”
“Excuse me?”
I stopped and swallowed. “I promised Ilsa a day out.”
“This won’t take long.”
The line ended before I could say anything, and I sighed, tossing my phone to the other end of the bed. I groaned, rubbing at my eyes. I did not want to go to my father’s. Honestly, it was the last thing I wanted to do.
“Mamma.”
I jumped and looked toward my door, finding Ilsa was already dressed. Her skirt was on backward, and her socks were inside out, but she’d tried. She had a big smile on her face as she bounced on her toes.
“You have to get up.”
I nodded at her. “We will. But first, come here. Let’s fix your outfit.”
She walked over, and I helped fix her outfit. We went into the bathroom where we both did our hair. I made breakfast and set her cereal in front of her.
“We are going to stop at Grandpa’s before we go to the park.”
Ilsa paused for a moment, her eyes looking worried. “Are we going to be there all day?”
The fact that Ilsa even knew what that meant made my heart ache. Every time my father called me there and said it was going to be short, it never was. I could see her little eyes growing worried that the day was going to be ruined.
I shook my head at her. “No, we are going to be there for a little while, and then we will sneak out. Promise.”
Ilsa giggled for a moment before turning back to her breakfast. I smiled, brushing a hand over her hair.
We finished getting ready and headed over to my father’s house.
I parked my car on the side of the road before helping Ilsa out.
I stared at my childhood, feeling my stomach dip.
My father lived in a luxurious house with four bedrooms and two baths.
It had updated flooring and bright lights.
It was the lap of luxury, but I knew better than to say anything about my life and compare it to his.
We headed inside, where Ilsa took off her shoes.
My father was standing by the stairs, already waiting for me.
He was a tall man who used to be bulky. Age had taken most of his muscle, but not his harsh edges or strict viewpoint.
My father was not a soft, gooey person. I always felt like a weight fell on me when I was in his presence.
I wanted to please my father, but knew deep down I wouldn’t. There would be something wrong.
His eyes softly glance at Ilsa before looking at me, returning to their normal coldness. “You made it on time.”
I frowned. “What are we doing here, Dad?”
Ilsa walked up the stairs, stopping next to him. “Can I go outside?” Ilsa asked, her eyes glued on the toys outside. My father nodded, and Ilsa ran off.
I walked up the stairs, but only made it up a few before his voice shifted. “I found you a husband.”
I stopped, my eyes growing wide as his words soaked in. I blinked, feeling like I’d been hit as I stood there.
“Wha…wh…what?”
“It’s been three years, Jade. It’s improper to be unmarried with a child.”
I felt my mouth drop open as he turned and walked into the kitchen. He acted like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on me. I moved quickly following him. “But…I’m just…I…you…”
“He’s a new business college, and he’s looking for a wife. He’s a little older, so I know he will treat Ilsa well.”
I stood frozen. “And what about me?”
“Your needs stopped when you opened your legs.”
My mouth shut, and I bit hard on my cheek. As much as my father loved Ilsa, he was quick to point out how I got her, how I had given up my dignity and dirtied myself for a moment.
“Honestly, Jade. You have had three years to pick up the pieces of your life, and you haven’t. I’m tired of thinking about how she lives.”
“You could help,” I snapped back, knowing it was a bad idea. My father didn’t offer handouts.
“I didn’t make her. I made you. I raise you. I gave you a good life, and you destroyed her life by not doing the same. She deserves better, Jade.”
I knew Ilsa deserved better. She deserved a mother who could spend more time with her. She deserved to have nicer meals and not to watch TV when I needed to cry. She didn’t deserve to be my glue, holding me together.
“I’m doing my best,” I said softly.
“And your best isn’t good enough,” he snapped. “You will marry, and you will keep your head down. You will do what’s best for her.”
I wanted to bark back that he was using us. He was using my child and me to better his life, but not sharing any of that with us. He paraded Ilsa around like a god and kept me in the dark. But used me for his benefit.
I felt tears bloom, and I knew better than to let them show. He would only get angry that I was being emotional. That being emotional is how I got here. If I had kept a cool head, maybe I would have accomplished more.
I looked away, staring at Ilsa outside. I had no say in this. I would have no choice but to follow through.
Just then, I heard the front door open. My entire body tensed up, thinking he’d invited this man over. But my father’s confused face told me it wasn’t that.
“Dad.” A voice broke over the silence, and my eyes went wide. I turned, moving close to the stairs, and my entire body tensed up as I stared at my brother.
He was a little taller than the last time I saw him, with a bit longer hair, but I knew those eyes, and I knew that smile. He looked at me with joy and threw his arms wide. “Jade, what are you doing here?”
My mouth hung open slightly as I stared at my brother. It had been three years since I had last seen him. He’d changed, yet he still looked exactly the same.
“Kaleb?”
He smiled, pushing the door further open, and my smile fell as I watched Brandon enter behind him.