Chapter Twenty-One #2
Brighton chuckled. “I’m from England. This is refreshing compared to the heat I’ve experienced this past week.”
I nodded. “Don’t get used to it. You know what they say about New England. If you don’t like the weather, wait a day. I’m sure the break from the heat is temporary—at least until the summer is over.”
He looked back at the pool. “Is Mikey okay? I noticed that he and Aaron weren’t at your dinner.”
I glanced at the water, too. Although it was stagnant and contained in a concrete box, it still looked pretty, nearly glowing because of the landscape lighting.
“Nothing serious, I’m sure. He wasn’t concussed, from what Alex could tell, and he could move his limbs, albeit with pain.
Alex didn’t think there were any major breaks.
It’s good to have a contestant who’s pre-med.
Anyway, he suggested someone drive Mikey to the emergency room to be more thoroughly checked, then Mikey should retire and rest for the night. ”
Brighton raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess… Aaron volunteered to drive him to the hospital?”
I didn’t disclose my suspicions about the pair. “Well, yeah. They’re roommates and friends, so I don’t find that odd. And Mikey does need help. He was wincing whenever he moved…anything.”
Brighton nodded. “Poor kid. He’s had a rough go of things here. Or he’s incredibly accident-prone.”
I chuckled. “I’m thinking both. Adam was angry that we hadn’t listened to him about vacating the kitchen after the floor was damaged. It turned out that he was right about it being too risky. Of course, I didn’t give him the satisfaction of telling him that.”
He grinned. “You enjoy giving your friends a difficult time?”
“Hey, they give it back twice as hard,” I assured him.
We stood quiet for a couple of moments.
“I heard from Clara when I went back to my room to wash and change,” he informed me. The tone of his voice alerted me that the news wouldn’t be good.
I cleared my throat. “She didn’t like me, did she?”
Brighton seemed surprised. “No… I mean yes, she did. Very much.” I exhaled with relief. “That’s one of the reasons she was so upset.”
“I don’t understand.”
He leaned against the fence outside the pool. “Her mother, Katie, asked her to reconsider attending university here in the US.”
“Oh,” I whispered. I hadn’t expected that. “But she had been so supportive, you said. What happened?”
Brighton pursed his lips. “Katie is under no obligation to refrain from watching the program as Clara and I are. Katie told my daughter that it appeared you and I got along famously and things might work out between us.”
“So, it’s Katie that doesn’t care for me after seeing me?”
He shook his head. “It isn’t that. She still thinks you’re handsome and appear to be kind.
No, it’s just that watching us together as well as Clara’s easy rapport with you, the possibility of Clara, you and I forming our own separate family started to hit hard.
Maybe she thought you and I might end up together, but hadn’t factored in you becoming a big part of her daughter’s life, too.
She said if this all happened in London, where she’d still have her own time with Clara, it would be different.
But Clara gaining another parent here while Katie’s an ocean away—she fears she’ll become less important in her daughter’s life. ”
“Oh.”
“I’m quite upset with her. Not because I don’t understand, because I do.
Very much so. It’s just that she should have thought about all this before.
Did she really believe I would begin a relationship with someone and try to keep my life with them separate from the one I have with Clara?
I don’t know. Maybe when I talked about joining this show Katie just wanted to sound supportive and didn’t believe I’d have a real chance with you. ”
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t have. You’re wonderful.”
His sad smile returned. “Well, maybe she didn’t believe I would actually fall for you. I haven’t with anyone else since my divorce. But I have developed feelings, Cliff. As much as any man can for someone they’ve just met. I’m drawn to you. That’s why this is so difficult.”
I swallowed. “You’re about to tell me that if Clara doesn’t come to the States, you won’t either. Aren’t you?”
Brighton frowned. “Try to understand. Despite my feelings, the reality is, we’ve known each other for a week. It’s one thing to uproot my life…to take a chance…if I didn’t have ties back home. To leave my daughter, whom I love with all my heart…”
I squeezed his shoulder. “I do understand. You don’t need to say more.”
He bit his lower lip, a hopeful expression on his face. “There’s always London.”
I thought about leaving my own family—my mother and my friends—my entire support system and what gave me joy. “I can’t…”
I didn’t finish my explanation. The sacrifice I’d need to make might seem small in comparison to leaving a child, but it still felt big to me.
* * * *
I was disappointed by the turn of events. Having doubts about Mikey’s and Aaron’s feelings for each other had reaffirmed where my head had already gone anyway—that Brighton was the best choice for me. Now, I wasn’t sure what to do.
Selfishly, I considered plowing ahead with Mikey as my selection, damned whatever the impact to Aaron. He’d had a long time where he could have professed his love for Mikey, if that was even the case.
If I were to choose nobody in the finale because of my suspicions about Aaron’s and Mikey’s feelings, I could be walking away from someone I really liked.
Plus, without an explanation as to why I was passing on everyone, Mikey would be hurt and confused.
Then again, that would be momentary. I could explain my reasoning to Mikey once the program ended.
If I had made a mistake about what he and Aaron meant to each other, maybe he’d still give us a try.
It seemed a better approach than choosing Mikey in the finale, then learning people’s worries about the pair were correct.
I might not discover the truth until after I had fallen in love with Mikey, and that seemed like a terrible outcome.
I went back and forth, and I even considered choosing Brighton after all.
Maybe he’d be okay with a long-distance relationship.
There were times I needed to travel to London for business.
But Brighton hadn’t suggested that type of setup, and it made me believe he wouldn’t want a part-time boyfriend.
“Cliff, may I speak with you?”
I turned my head to see Ted standing in the doorway of my office.
“Sure, come in,” I invited. I could only imagine more bad news awaited.
Ted sat in the chair next to mine, appearing quite nervous. He wrung his hands, then cracked his knuckles.
“I have something to confess,” he began.
I held up my hand to stop him. “It’s okay, Ted. I already figured it out.”
“You… How?” he wondered.
I chuckled. “It was obvious. You don’t have a gay bone or inclination in your body.”
His jaw dropped. “I… Wait, you think I’m straight?”
“Well, yeah.”
Ted’s eyes widened. “I’m not straight. I’m just…inexperienced. I came out only a couple of months ago. Gosh, I guess I’ve tried for so many years to pass as straight, I’ve become too good at it.”