Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
JULES
“I’m okay, Jules,” Flynn murmured between hungry kisses. His hand came up to cover the one I’d thought I’d subtly managed to hold against his neck in a way that I could feel his pulse point.
I broke the kiss and met his eyes. “I know,” I said, but even I could hear the lack of confidence in my voice. The taste of Flynn’s release lingered in my mouth, proof that the last several minutes really had happened, but between my emotional relief and the strained physical needs of my body, I was certain I was just moments away from having a panic attack myself.
I’d spent the last couple of weeks carefully laying out a plan to prepare not only Flynn but myself for the events of tonight. All the pictures, telephone calls, and video chats had been meant to subtly see how far I could push Flynn and what his physical reactions would be. As much as I’d loved each encounter, they’d been fraught with fear and anxiety. Sending Flynn pictures of clothing or doing the teasing videos that had been meant to heighten his sexual needs had been relatively easy, though I’d spent most of those times hard as a rock or fighting off the fear that my approach to proving to myself and Flynn that he could mentally handle his physical responses was causing more harm than good.
Looking at Flynn now as he studied me was proof that it had all been worth it.
So then why was I on the verge of losing it? That most definitely wasn’t part of the plan.
“Talk to me, Jules,” Flynn said softly. One of his hands was trailing up and down my spine while the other cradled my face.
“I’m fine,” I croaked, then gave a forced smile. “Just overly emotional.”
A split second later, I found myself on my back with Flynn on top of me. He used his right arm to support my body as he maneuvered our bodies so that my head was resting on a pillow at the head of the bed.
“New rule number one: we always tell each other the truth,” Flynn said softly.
I nodded because I knew that he was right. It still didn’t make it easier to deal with the tangled knot of emotions running through me. This wasn’t how the rest of the night was supposed to go, especially when Flynn’s responses had been exactly what I’d hoping. True, he’d had a brief moment when he’d tensed up, but we’d worked through it together and after that, he’d been fine.
Perfect, actually.
Even though I’d been the one performing oral sex with the only goal of making Flynn come, my own physical desires had heightened with every one of Flynn’s responses. By the time he’d shot copious amounts of semen down my throat, I’d been on the verge of coming myself. Admittedly, deep throating a man of Flynn’s length and girth hadn’t been easy, but I’d happily pushed my own abilities to new limits each time he had made a sound of pleasure or his body had instinctively taken control of the encounter. By the time he'd started fucking my mouth with the only purpose of getting off, I’d been able to forget to worry about any impending panic attacks and I’d focused only on giving Flynn every ounce of pleasure he deserved.
Unfortunately, all the shit I’d packed away was hitting me now.
“It’s nothing, Flynn. I’m just… I’m…”
Falling apart.
When I went silent, Flynn began to caress my cheek. His eyes scanned my face like he was searching for something. When his thumb moved from my cheekbone to a spot beneath one of my eyes, I knew he saw what I’d tried to use extra concealer to hide.
“I probably look a mess,” I said nervously, because I didn’t want to talk about what he was bound to want to talk about.
Flynn didn’t say anything. He just kept running his finger over the same spot. His other hand skimmed over my shoulder and down my side. When he seemed to be finished with silently interrogating me, he bent one arm so his elbow was supporting most of his upper body weight.
“I would say I’m glad to find out that I wasn’t the only one who suffered after you hit that end button on your phone, but I figured you’d do what I did.”
“What did you do?” I asked as I fought the tears that wanted to escape my pained eyes.
“I made best friends with my right hand and learned to hold my phone in my left hand while I was getting busy.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
“Did you touch yourself?” Flynn asked out of nowhere.
“Flynn!” I said in disbelief.
“Babe, you just spent the last several minutes sucking my cock like someone trying to finish off a melting Popsicle on a hot day. I think it’s okay if you tell me all about the naughty things you did to yourself after you finished torturing me every night for the past two weeks.”
“God,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
“Maybe it will be easier if I tell you all the things I did when I got to the end of a video you sent me or we had one of our ‘talks’ via video chat. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to scrub the cum off my phone?—”
“Okay, okay,” I said as I slapped my hand over Flynn’s mouth. The man had absolutely no shame.
Not surprisingly, Flynn began licking the sensitive spots on my palm. The second I pulled my hand away, his mouth was on mine, stealing a searing kiss that left me breathless. He kept his head lowered so our mouths were only inches apart. “You’ve lost weight and you haven’t been sleeping.”
The blunt but very accurate statement had me nodding. Flynn wasn’t going to let this go and knowing him, he’d use his own form of sensual torture to get what he wanted.
“I was so scared, Flynn,” I admitted. “I knew we both needed a push to deal with… stuff but I didn’t know if what I was doing was the right way. I mean, I know we had those couple of times where I left my phone on while we… you know.”
“Jerked ourselves off,” Flynn supplied without hesitation, his expression completely serious. He’d shifted his body so he could stare down at me again. He was no longer lying on top of me, but his body was pressed up against the entire length of my own. His free hand was resting on my chest.
“I, um, I couldn’t, you know… until I knew you were okay. I was so focused on your breathing. It was only when I knew you were okay that I could let go, and there were some nights I hung up after you…” I paused because unlike Flynn, I was having trouble with the whole concept of just saying it like it was. Funny that our roles had seemed to reverse in that sense. I’d never had trouble telling the man exactly what I thought after he’d pushed me away in the beginning, but now… now there was too much at stake and that, in itself, was terrifying.
“You were relieved,” Flynn responded. “You were relieved that I was okay and nothing else mattered.”
I wiped at my eyes to brush away the tears that were threatening to fall. “Some alpha mate, huh?”
Flynn was quiet for so long that I began to squirm. I was on the verge of scooting away from him when his hand moved from my chest to my abdomen. I still had my clothes on, so it wasn’t until Flynn’s work-roughened hand reached the strip of skin between my top and the sheer pants—and not-so-sheer panties—that my body reminded me of its physical needs.
“Those wolves would kill to protect each other. They would lay down their own lives to save each other.” Flynn paused his voice, but not his hand. The man was either really good at multitasking or completely oblivious that he was nurturing the hard-on that had barely softened from the moment things had gone from hot and heavy to serious.
“Do you know what it’s like to know that someone loves you so much that they put your needs above their own? Not just for a couple of minutes here and there, but all the time? To have proof of that kind of unconditional love… it’s life-changing.” Flynn fell quiet for a moment and then dropped his head to press a soft, sweet kiss against my lips. “I wish I’d told you the night you came up with all those rules that in that moment, I knew there was someone in this world who loved me enough to lay down their life for me. Someone besides my horse, anyway.”
“Well, I knew I was up against some pretty heavy competition. A horse named BJ? I mean, come on, what was I supposed to?—”
Flynn chuckled and kissed me sweetly before breaking the kiss. His hand had moved so his fingers were beneath the waistband of my underwear. I arched my back and let out a hiss of air because it felt so damned good. I could feel Flynn’s now stiff cock pressed against my outer thigh as he played with me. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and tried to push his hand farther down, but he responded by stopping all movement of his hand. He kept it where it was but then his lips were on the move. Flynn used his mouth to press open-mouthed kisses all over my neck and upper body. He refused to kiss me on the mouth, though.
“I seem to recall one of your rules had something to do with me needing to have a green light to do things to you in the bedroom…” Flynn murmured against my skin between spine-tingling caresses.
“Green light, damn it,” I gasped. My cock felt like it was going be strangled to death beneath the once sexy panties. The soft material now felt like a chastity belt.
Flynn lifted his head. “I’m sorry, did you say something, sweetheart?”
“You heard me,” I growled in irritation.
“Just to be sure, though,” he responded.
“You officially have the green light to do what you want to me in the bedroom,” I said sharply, though the last few words were spoken on a moan as Flynn’s fingertips brushed the head of my dick when he began caressing my abdomen again.
“But still just in here, right?” Flynn continued. “So if I want to fuck you in a dark corner in the barn or bend you over a log when we take a break from riding—” He cut himself off when he kissed me deeply but broke the sensual connection before I could kiss him back. “—those things need to be negotiated?—”
“Shut up,” I practically snarled as I curled my fingers around the back of Flynn’s neck and dragged him down for a real kiss. I was glad when he hungrily returned the kiss. His hand moved down my groin, but he made no move to take my weeping dick in hand. Instead, he slid his fingers so they were beneath my shaft. “Touch me!” I demanded. I actually cried out in frustration when Flynn broke the kiss but kept his hand exactly where it was.
“So where did we leave off with needing to negotiate?—”
“No negotiations,” I snapped. “You can fuck me whenever or wherever you want. I don’t care if there’s a ticker tape parade happening—fuck!” I finished on a groan because Flynn moved his hand up and then back down, his knuckles dragging along the underside of my dick.
“Is this what it felt like when you touched yourself while you were listening to me get off on the phone?”
“No,” I said roughly. “I’m not a cocktease?—”
“I beg to differ?—”
“Fine, I’m not a cocktease when it comes to myself. I kept playing every sound you made back in my head while I imagined you were touching me.”
“Did you touch yourself anywhere else?” Flynn asked. With one easy move, his hand disappeared from my cock only to slide over my ass then came to a stop right above my crack.
“No,” I blurted.
“No?” he asked with mock surprise. “Really? Because I did.” Flynn pressed his mouth against mine. My body was strung so tight that I barely noticed when he turned me onto my side so that I was facing him. “Do you want me to show you?”
I nodded blindly because I was beyond speech. Flynn was doing to me what I’d done to him. Keeping me on the edge but not letting me fly until he was good and ready.
“I started to wonder about all these things after we’d hang up. Things I’d never wondered about doing with anyone else.”
His mention of past lovers should have irritated me, but I was too hung up on his words. What could he have thought of that?—
I let out a harsh cry when Flynn’s finger brushed over my hole. Fortunately, he muffled the noise by covering my mouth with his. “Neighbors, sweetheart,” Flynn reminded me.
“Do you know how many times I had to listen to Xavier and Brooks while they were fu?—”
Another sensual caress over my opening had me shutting up. I finally gave up fighting Flynn because the more I did, the longer it would take for him to give me what I needed. He nibbled my neck. “Did you want me to show you what I was thinking about, Jules?”
I nodded fiercely. It was all I could do not to shout in protest when Flynn removed his hand from my ass. When he brought his fingers to my mouth and rubbed the middle one over my lips, I had a pretty good idea.
“Open,” Flynn said. For the first time, his voice sounded rough. I obediently opened. When he slipped his longest finger into my mouth, I waited until he ordered me to close my lips around it and suck. Every trace of humor left Flynn’s dark eyes. “Get it really wet. Use your hands to take yourself out.”
Shivers racked my body at the unrelenting order. Plenty of guys had told me what to do as they’d fucked me or I’d blown them, but I’d never once gotten any pleasure out of something as simple as words.
I closed my mouth over Flynn’s finger and sucked gently. It proved challenging to simultaneously reach down to push my pants and snug underwear down far enough that the material was bunched around my upper thighs. It was all I could do not to cry out in relief when my strangled cock was finally free. I managed to deposit an ample amount of saliva onto his finger.
“Open,” Flynn said.
I immediately released his finger. Thankfully, Flynn didn’t tease me. Instead, he slipped his hand down until his now soaked middle finger was pressed directly on the puckered skin of my hole. “Hold out your right hand.”
As soon as I did, Flynn placed an open-mouthed kiss against my palm. When he was done, a small amount of his saliva was left behind. I knew exactly what it was for, but I didn’t dare move until he told me to.
“Touch yourself.”
It took a little maneuvering to slip my hand between our bodies, but when I was finally able to fist myself, I groaned. It wouldn’t take more than a few strokes to finish myself off.
“Don’t move until I tell you to,” Flynn murmured against my mouth. He shifted until his lower body was pressed against mine, trapping my hand between my groin and his muscular abdomen. His heavy cock was nudging my upper thighs.
“I was afraid at first,” Flynn said, his eyes locking on to mine. Logically, I knew my body could take it, but I knew it would be uncomfortable… awkward even. “My body resisted at first, but then I closed my eyes and I felt your tongue on me. Your hot, wet, hungry tongue. You kept kissing and sucking until my body relaxed.”
God, if the man thought there was even a chance his words were going to relax me, he was way off base. Between what he was saying and his finger gently grazing over my opening as he spoke, I wanted nothing more than to shove my ass down until his finger had nowhere to go but inside of me.
“You kept saying how good I tasted, but you needed more. I wanted any part of you that I could get inside of me, so when you began kissing me there like it was my mouth, I began to beg you to do whatever came next. That was when you used your hands to open me up. I can still feel your fingers gripping me.”
To make sure I had no doubt what he was talking about, Flynn reached his free hand around my body and gripped one ass cheek, exposing more of me.
“Then you were pushing your tongue into me.”
I was sweating and panting as I kept my eyes locked on Flynn’s. It was all I could do not to close them when the pad of his still-wet finger did the same thing he’d done to himself when I hadn’t been there to see it.
“My dick was so hard I thought I’d come the second you were inside of me, but I was too eager to feel you licking my insides to take myself in hand. Do you know what it’s like to be that hard and not want to come right away?”
I did now.
Flynn’s free hand lifted my leg as much as the panties knotted around my thighs would allow. He held me there as his finger rubbed and pressed against my hole, massaging it. When his finger suddenly disappeared, I nearly cried. But then my eyes followed Flynn’s as he looked down our bodies. I couldn’t see everything because of the angle, but there was no mistaking what he’d done by the time his finger returned to my opening. The tip of it was once again wet and since he hadn’t used either of our mouths to manage the feat, it meant he’d covered his finger with his own pre-cum.
“It stung when you were inside of me,” Flynn continued, his voice husky. His finger had breached my hole and he was buried up to his first knuckle inside of me. All I could do was lie there as his finger worked the muscles trying to keep him out. I had one hand wrapped around his upper arm, the other still holding my cock. “Then it started to burn.”
The thought of Flynn putting his finger inside his own body for the first time, all while he imagined it was my tongue, made it hard to breathe. God, what I would have given to be a fly in the room that night.
“Did you like it?” I managed to ask.
“I loved it,” Flynn said. We were once again watching each other intently as our bodies experienced every touch, real and imagined. “Except it wasn’t enough when you were all the way inside. I still felt empty.”
“I would have used my fingers at that point,” I said huskily. “First one to loosen you up, then another to get you ready for me. Flynn responded by sliding his finger all the way inside me. Tears stung my eyes, but not because of the burn that followed the initial discomfort. “So good, Flynn,” I croaked. My ass muscles instinctively clamped down on his finger. This time, Flynn was the one to let out a harsh moan. I took the opportunity to study his features. He was breathing hard, but nowhere near what he'd been experiencing the night of his panic attack.
“So tight, Jules,” Flynn whispered as he drew his finger back out until it was nearly clear of my body. Then he pushed it back into me. My entire being jerked at the sensation. He finger-fucked me a few times before his finger disappeared entirely, then it was back, once again wet.
More of his pre-cum.
My body welcomed his re-entry and when he added another finger, I saw stars. I had yet to stroke my cock despite the fact that I had my fingers wrapped around it. Flynn hadn’t told me I could yet, and I was glad because then all of this would be over.
I rode Flynn’s fingers as he slid them in and out of me. He kept trying to pull my leg higher over his hip, exposing more and more of me. His cock was nudged up against my balls.
“Fuck, I wanted to take you with my fingers first, but I can’t wait,” Flynn barked in frustration.
“Good, because I can’t either. Fuck me, Flynn. For real,” I demanded.
Flynn was gentle when he removed his fingers, but everything after was rushed.
“I’ll replace these,” Flynn snapped impatiently as his hands met just beneath my ass. A loud tearing sound followed until my leg was completely free. I didn’t give a crap about the torn clothing. If I’d had the strength, I would have ripped his jeans so I could feel more of his body against mine. Flynn didn’t seem concerned about his pants, though, because he was reaching for the small bottle of lube. He was forced to release my leg so he could open the cap, but I left my leg where it was. I wanted to beg him to hurry, but he was already fumbling with the bottle as it was.
To know that I was the one who was making him clumsy warmed up my insides. Granted, I already felt like I was going to go up in flames at any moment, but a part of me that couldn’t be warmed by something like sex soaked up the knowledge that I had as much power over Flynn’s body as he had over mine. By the time the head of his wet dick was notched up against my hole, I had a stranglehold on my own dick. At that point, I was holding myself firmly in an attempt to keep me from missing out on what was to come.
Flynn’s hand held my cheek open while his other hand held his demanding cock steady as he pushed his hips forward.
I couldn’t say who made what sounds after that, but when he finally breached me, his mouth latched on to mine. It was a hard, impatient meeting of our tongues as he pulled back just a little and then pushed forward so even more of his length slid into me. I gripped his arm hard as the pain and burn mixed. Despite his clear need, Flynn was being careful not to just thrust into me and start fucking me.
He needed me to feel what he was feeling—that desperation to be one with another person. Not just any person, though. The person. No man other than Flynn would ever touch me again. No one would ever be able to make me feel all the things he did.
Not that I’d give anyone else a chance.
Flynn was it.
Even if the worst were to happen and I lost him, he’d always be it for me.
I tore my mouth from his. “Promise me,” I said on a groan because Flynn chose that moment to slide out and back in, burying even more of himself inside of me. “Promise me it will always be like this. Just us.”
“Always,” Flynn growled and then he was rolling us so that I was flat on my back. Flynn managed to keep himself inside of me, but the second my shoulders met the bed, his other arm was supporting my leg, exposing me completely. Thankfully, he was using his arms to keep me like that because I didn’t have the strength to do it myself.
The new position allowed Flynn to sink all the way inside of me with his next forward glide. When the hair at the base of his dick rubbed against my skin, I knew we were finally one. Two halves who’d been searching so long for one another and now we were whole.
Flynn sat up enough to watch his dick slide in and out of me. If I’d been able to look, I would have. Feeling it was more than enough, though. The first few glides burned like a motherfucker, but then all the pain and discomfort were gone and all that remained was the sensation of my inner muscles gripping his hot, bare skin. The friction of him moving in and out of me began to slowly build. I released my dick because I knew my fingers weren’t going to bring me the pleasure I craved.
When Flynn kissed me, he lowered his body onto mine. He continued to pump his hips, so between his cock filling me and his tongue mating gently with mine, my senses were all over the place. Flynn had pinned my hands to the bed next to my head so I couldn’t move anything other my mouth. My muscles burned and ached from the way he was holding my legs, but that made everything even better. The position meant Flynn was in control of everything. The pace, the position, even the way our mouths made love.
“I’m going to come,” Flynn warned.
Since I knew what he was really trying to say, I nodded and said, “Do it.”
Flynn’s heavy glides turned into tumultuous thrusts as he began pumping in and out of me at a furious pace. My body drew tight as I was pushed closer and closer to the edge of the cliff I’d been dangling off of for much of the night. I linked my fingers with Flynn’s, but we didn’t kiss because he had his head pressed against the crook of my neck. His abdomen was grinding against my cock every time he thrust into me, so I was right there with him as his breathing became more labored and he shuttled his cock in and out of me at a frantic pace.
“Need to see you come,” Flynn said as he lifted his head so he could watch me.
I was about to tell him that I’d come whenever he did, but Flynn chose that moment to angle his hips so the head of his dick was nailing my prostate.
“Fuck, yes,” I cried out. “Right there.”
Dimly aware of Flynn kissing me between breaths, I was glad when he released my hands. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he hit my gland over and over. I shouted when the tight band inside of me finally snapped and sent me flying. Hot cum spewed all over my abdomen as well as Flynn’s. As waves of pleasure washed over me, I kept grunting and groaning as he continued to slam into me, drawing my orgasm out until I was left with violent aftershocks. Seconds later, Flynn sat up enough to grab my legs and yank me even closer to his groin. His fingers bit into my thighs as he held me in place. He rutted into me until he closed his eyes and let out a harsh grunt. The sensation of hot cum hitting my inner walls caused a small but still powerful orgasm to hit me all over again.
By the time it was over, Flynn was lying on top of me, his heavy weight pinning me to the bed. He was still buried balls deep inside of me and every time his dick jerked, more cum filled me to the point that I could feel it leaking out of me.
Exhausted, all we could do was cling to each other. I swore I heard Flynn tell me he loved me, but I couldn’t be sure because the natural high was wearing off and my body was crashing back to Earth. I tried to say the words myself, but Flynn had robbed me of my ability to do anything but lie there, my limbs tangled with his. I didn’t even have the energy to protest when he finally pulled out of me.
“Show me,” Flynn demanded. His voice was low and rusty. Knowing what he wanted and totally getting off on it, I tilted my ass up and opened my legs, bracing them against his body. It took a few seconds, but when I used my inner muscles to push some of Flynn’s semen from my hole, I heard his breath catch. Before I knew it, Flynn maneuvered so he could lick up the small amount of jizz and then he was guiding his half-hard dick back to my hole. His tongue lapped up some of my own juices from my stomach and then his dick was gently pressing into me again. When his mouth opened over mine, I gladly drank down every drop of our combined fluids.
When Flynn’s lips moved to my neck and shoulders, gently caressing me with the softest of kisses, all I could process was the sound of his dick sliding through his own semen as he continued to gently fuck me. If I’d had the strength, I would have tried to clamp my muscles down on his cock to see if there was a round three to be had, but my eyes weren’t cooperating and before I knew it, I lost myself to a sea of darkness where only Flynn’s whispers of love existed.