Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
FLYNN
Turned out that rules still sucked as much as they had when I’d been growing up. Back then, at least I’d had the guts to break them, but after a few of Jules’s disciplinary actions in the first week since the panic attack from hell, I’d ultimately given up.
Truth be told, as much as I mentally griped about Jules’s Mama Wolf approach to taking care of me, it felt good to know the man I’d lost my heart to had meant every word he’d said. From the moment we’d arrived at the hospital, Jules had seen to it that he was with me throughout every second of the ER staff’s rapid approach to making sure my heart was okay. I hadn’t cared that the nurses and doctors had seen him holding my hand from the time my vitals had been taken to hours later when we’d left the hospital hand in hand.
Admittedly, I’d been embarrassed by my own behavior at first. My entire body had gone on lockdown from the moment Jules had gotten me to walk through the ER’s sliding doors. Jules had needed to do most of the talking for me, he’d had to talk me through changing into the dreaded hospital gown, and worst off, he’d seen my reaction when the technicians had started attaching the leads to different parts of my body so my heart activity would show up on the little monitor that made the godawful beeping sound that had haunted me from the last time I’d been in a hospital bed. My muscles had locked up so tight at that point that my heart rate had started to increase, which meant the beeping had increased.
Jules had practically bitten the technician’s head off when he ordered her to turn off the beeping sound on the machine. He’d then sat down on the edge of the bed and ordered me to lean forward. His surprisingly strong hands had begun massaging my neck and shoulders all while he’d made me close my eyes so he could walk me through every little detail of how the mountains had looked the day we’d gone to see the wolves.
My man’s methods had worked. I’d gotten through hours of testing and monitoring as well as the wait for the on-call cardiologist to reach my personal doctor back in New York so he could learn everything about my medical history. By the time I’d been given the all clear to leave, I’d fallen asleep with Jules’s hands wrapped around mine.
They’d been there when I’d been roused from my rest. Jules had kept his word that no matter what, I’d never wake up in a hospital bed with no one there to greet me.
The first week of following Jules’s mother hen care had been pretty easy, but mostly because so much had taken place on the ranch in that time. Xavier’s name had been cleared of any wrongdoing in the so-called attempted murder of Brooks’s father when they’d been kids. The motion to have his criminal record expunged was working its way through the judicial system.
Additionally, Xavier and Brooks had stopped hiding their relationship, and Curtis had announced that the man he himself had loved for most of his adult life, Del Tipton, Curtis’s one-time foreman before his death, would be known as Del Sterling. Sterling was Curtis’s last name. The pair had secretly been married in Vegas and while they had been forced to continue to hide their marriage afterwards, we’d learned the night we’d been up on the mountain to find Xavier that Curtis had been visiting his husband’s grave on a regular basis for years after his death. It’d been a heartbreaking scene to witness, but it’d changed something in Curtis. He’d started wearing his wedding ring, and he’d had Del’s headstone changed so it included his married name and an epitaph that made it clear what Del had meant to Curtis.
While all the ranch hands had been stunned to learn about Curtis and Del, most had suspected what’d been going on between Xavier and Brooks and many had congratulated the two men. Only a couple of ranch hands had revealed their bigotry by leaving the ranch for good, but as far as Jules and I were concerned, that’d been a good thing.
Jules and I had agreed to keep our own relationship under wraps until we’d made some decisions together that would affect our immediate future.
But first I’d had to get through Jules’s list of rules. Week number two had found me breaking several of the rules repeatedly. I’d tried to sweet-talk my way out of the so-called discipline Jules had warned me about, but all that had earned me were responses that were both heaven and hell combined. Instead of verbally sparring with me if I didn’t follow the strict heart-healthy diet he had found on the internet, Jules had simply refused to keep up with his nightly visits to my room where we spent most of the time just lying in my bed talking until we fell asleep. I’d been determined to hold out so Jules would put an end to the rules, but what I ended up with was a kind of sensual torture I’d never expected.
Every night during that second week, instead of coming to my room, Jules had begun to send me pictures and videos of himself. Only they hadn’t been traditional videos. They’d been designed to send me to the brink but drop me before I had a chance to fall over that cliff of pleasure. The first couple of videos and pictures had been of Jules in his room at night doing what I’d at one time made him promise he’d do for me.
He'd played dress-up.
Each night I’d get a glimpse of him applying makeup or showing me clothes on a hanger that he’d been planning to model for me in person. Everything about the videos was as erotic as if I’d been there in his room with him. Even the act of Jules applying makeup and explaining to me about every step of the process and all the color palettes he was using had made me hard as a rock. Jules may have acted innocent, but I’d known better. The man had taken every opportunity to tease me. The way he applied lipstick or gloss to his lips, the way he ran his hands all over his body as he talked about how good the material of each outfit would feel against his skin had driven me crazy. I’d jerked myself off many times after my second heart attack, but there’d never been any true pleasure in the act. It’d become a biological need and nothing more. But the more Jules had teased me, the more I’d found myself jerking off in the shower or on my bed while watching the less-than-explicit videos. My orgasms had been incredible, but I’d instinctively known that the real thing would be so much more.
I’d lasted less than a week before I’d fallen back in line with doing what Jules wanted. In truth, his little tease shows had proven something besides the fact that Jules was winning our little standoff. During all the jerking off I’d done, I’d felt my heart rate rising and my breathing becoming harsher each time, but the fears I’d experienced the first few times I’d tried to be intimate with Jules when we’d first met hadn’t been there. I’d begun to believe what my doctor had told me after my second heart attack: I could have a normal sex life.
After I conceded failure, Jules had continued to visit me each night, but we’d never gone past a few deep kisses that I’d been more than ready to get lost in. I’d been rewarded for my behavior with videos of Jules not only putting on one of several meant-for-the-bedroom-only outfits, but he’d started to touch himself in them, describing in explicit detail how it was my hands instead of his own that were stroking the delicate material. It was only a couple nights earlier that he had started video chatting with me. I’d ended up with a full-on sex show because Jules had touched himself intimately. God, the sounds he’d made. He’d ordered me not to touch myself during the video, and since he could both see and hear me, I’d been forced to obey if I wanted to see more. Eventually he’d let me tell him where I wanted him to put his hands and pretend they were mine. I’d gotten the green light to fill his head with all kinds of dirty talk and to take complete control of his pleasure. I was allowed to jerk myself off too, but the tease always ended just as Jules started to come. He’d either turn the camera off or away, leaving me with nothing or just the sounds Jules made as he came.
I’d gotten off either way, but there’d still been something missing each time.
Jules was driving me crazy with lust, but the need to just be with him, even if it was to engage in a lot of cuddling and next to no foreplay, was a thousand times more powerful. When I did come into contact with him during the day, he’d always send me this coy, knowing smile. It got even worse when he began to wear a touch of makeup during the day along with one of his flashier outfits. The mere knowledge that the past three weeks had given Jules the confidence to ditch the jeans and sweatshirts more and more and be his most natural self made everything worth it.
That was the truest pleasure he could have ever given me, though he probably didn’t know that.
So I was both happy and miserable at the same time. The happiness outweighed the misery of all the hands-on action I was missing out on, though.
I glanced at the clock to check the time. Jules usually video chatted with me between nine and ten when most of the household went to bed, but he was more than an hour late. My cock was painfully hard, but I didn’t dare touch myself.
Jules didn’t like it when I came before he did, so I had no choice but to wait.
My phone finally beeped just before midnight, only Jules hadn’t started a video chat. Instead, he’d sent a text.
The first one was a picture of an outfit I’d never seen before. It was a two-piece number that included a skimpy top made of lace and spaghetti straps. The lace was weaved together in a way that left openings that would show skin once the top was on. The bottom half was nothing more than sheer white silky-looking pants that would leave nothing to the imagination. I swore my heart skipped several beats as I imagined what the outfit would look like on Jules.
I was so hung up on the first text with the picture, it took me a few seconds to notice Jules had sent me another text.
Haven’t tried this one on yet. I think I need an in-person opinion. What do you think?
I didn’t even hesitate to throw my phone aside, scramble off the bed and rush out of my room, barely remembering to lock it. It was all I could do not to sprint down the length of the bunkhouse to the exit. Once I was outside, I scanned the area for any would-be late-night explorers and then I was striding toward the main house. I was so hard, I could barely walk straight. My heart was already pounding in my chest, but my brain recognized what the physiological response was.
And it most definitely was not panic.
I had to tread lightly once I reached the porch, and by the time I got past the unlocked door and made my way up the creaking stairs, it felt like I was going to come the second I got inside of Jules’s room. His door was slightly cracked, so I didn’t bother to knock. The lights were off in the room, but Jules had lit several candles, making it easy enough to see.
The candles weren’t really the first thing I noticed. They just gave me the opportunity to see the one thing I wanted to see.
Jules.
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, fully clothed in the same jeans and glittery top he’d been wearing all day. I didn’t care. All I really wanted was him. He could have been wearing his birthday suit or a burlap sack and I would have felt exactly the same as I did now. I closed the door behind me and turned the lock. There was no taking my eyes off him as I approached the bed.
Jules was wearing makeup that was bolder than what he’d had on during the day, but not as intense as I’d seen it the first time I’d been in his room. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago.
I was in the process of reaching for him when Jules put his hand up and softly said, “Yellow light.”
Was he fucking kidding me?
“Jules,” I growled.
His expression didn’t waver. The coy innocence in the way he held his body and the soft smile that showed off his shimmering, full lips remained the same. I noticed that the outfit he’d sent me the picture of was spread out next to him on the bed.
“Over there,” Jules said with a graceful tilt of his head. A simple wooden chair was in the corner of the room. It offered a view of the bed, but only the side closer to the chair would give me a full view. Jules was currently sitting on the wrong side for that to happen. I’d only see him from the waist up.
I did what he told me anyway. The chair was incredibly uncomfortable given my current state of arousal, but I had a feeling I was going to need to get used to it.
As soon as I sat down, Jules glanced over his shoulder at me before he lovingly ran his fingers over the outfit. His touch was light and hard to see. It almost looked like he wasn’t really touching it.
The idea that he’d actually waited to truly experience what the fabric felt like had the air catching in my lungs. When his delicate fingers disappeared, they reappeared at his sides. He slowly took off the shirt he was wearing, revealing the graceful line of his back in the process. I hadn’t been given the opportunity to see Jules’s entire body in such an intimate state, at least not in person. The videos didn’t do the real thing justice.
I leaned forward in the chair so I could take in the way every muscle and curve rippled as he shimmied out of the snug shirt. He took his time folding the shirt and setting it on the bed next to him. I was in tracking mode as I watched his every move, studied every arch and shift of his body as he reached for the lace top. I forgot that I couldn’t see his entire body because I was hyper focused on what little he was showing me. Not surprisingly, Jules took his time putting the top on. He made sure to skim his body with his own fingers at every opportunity. I realized he was wearing the nail polish he’d bought the day we’d met.
The polish I’d returned to him.
The pants were next. Jules didn’t linger as he slipped his jeans off and put the sheer white pants on. I saw a flash of white beneath the pants as he put them on. He was wearing some kind of underwear beneath them.
It felt like hours by the time Jules walked around the bed so that he was standing at the foot of it, giving me a clear view of the outfit. He was perfect. The sheer pants did little to cover his supple thighs, but it was what he was wearing beneath the pants that had me practically drooling. I had no idea about lingerie designed specifically for men, but the boy-cut panties clung to his body. As Jules pretended to examine the outfit in detail, he gave me glimpses of the front and back of the high-waisted panties. The fabric covered most of his ass but left a small amount of the curve of his buttocks exposed. The front of the panties provided full coverage, but the lacy material which appeared to match the top he was wearing did next to nothing to hide his erection. The snug fabric kept his hard dick in place. No matter how soft and delicate the material was, Jules had to be feeling the same kind of painful constraint that I was.
It was all I could do not to jump off the chair and go to him, but I was also frozen in place because Jules was running his hands over every part of himself. When he finally looked up at me, his eyes were luminous.
“I think these might be a little tight,” Jules said as he ran his fingertips along the waistband of the underwear. “What do you think?” he asked in feigned innocence as he palmed his dick. He rubbed the crown and added, “The material might not be right. They’re a little damp right here.”
“Jules,” I growled in frustration.
“I think I need a second opinion. Can you feel this and tell me what you think?”
I was on my feet instantly, but it seemed to take forever to get to him. When I reached him, he remained perfectly still. He was so beautiful I was almost afraid to touch him. I was actually grateful when he took my hand in his and placed it on his collarbone. His skin was soft and warm. Jules slowly moved my hand so that it was touching the spaghetti strap. I was so caught up in a haze of lust that it took me a moment to realize he had removed his hand from mine.
I was on my own to explore. I instantly brought my other hand up and ran it down his side. The delicate material would be so easy to tear, but that was the last thing I wanted. I lowered my hands to rest them on his hips. The pants were so sheer that I barely felt them. I did, however, feel the panties. I ran one hand over Jules’s ass. Jules was breathing heavily and his body was trembling. Knowing that he needed this as badly as I did made taking my time impossible. I had the rest of my life to explore every inch of his body with my touch and my mouth. For now, what I needed was to taste him.
Jules gasped when I quickly dropped to my knees in front of him, palmed his ass with both hands and placed a kiss on the thin stretch of skin between the lacy top and the matching underwear. My next stop was his dick. He jumped when I closed my mouth over the crown of his dick. His hands landed on my shoulders as I gently sucked on him through the material. I quickly slipped the pants down so I could get a better taste of him.
He hadn’t been lying about the material being damp where the top of his dick was trapped between his body and the panties.
“Oh God,” Jules whispered as I licked and sucked my way down his dick until I reached his balls. His fingers dug into my shoulders as I toyed with him. My hands kneaded the curve of his ass. When I used one hand to dip my fingers beneath the waistband so I could feel his crack, Jules’s knees buckled.
“Flynn,” he called.
I knew what he needed. I needed it too. I climbed to my feet and angled my head so I could cover his mouth with mine. Jules automatically opened for me. I didn’t bother trying to tease him. We were both too far gone for that.
Using one hand to support the back of his head as I kissed him while the other hand remained on his ass, I pulled him against me so our bodies were perfectly aligned. Jules’s arms went around my neck. His hold on me was as tight as mine was on him.
I continued to consume his lush mouth even as I moved both hands down so I could push the pants and underwear down until they were wrapped around his thighs. Jules moaned as our tongues mated. I had no doubt that the sensation of my denim-covered dick pressing against his bare one was intoxicating.
When we were forced to break the kiss to catch our breaths, Jules’s eyes locked on mine. His fingers tugged at the hem of my shirt. I got the message and pulled it up and off over my head. His sweet lips immediately brushed over one of my nipples. Never in a million years would I have thought any part of my upper body would have erogenous zones, but Jules’s exploration of my chest proved me wrong. He licked, sucked, and kissed me everywhere, including the scar on my chest. His hands were on the move too. A delicious shiver went through me as he ran his fingers up and down my sides a few times, but when his fingers began working my jeans loose, a jolt of fear hit me out of nowhere.
No, no, no.
I tried to will the panic away, but that made things worse. All the pleasurable sensations disappeared as my chest grew tight.
“Flynn, look at me,” Jules demanded, his voice firm.
I snapped my eyes to his. His hands were on my face. “Breathe, baby,” Jules said. “You’re safe.”
If I could have spoken, I would have, but I managed a nod and did as Jules said. I remembered the night he’d walked me through the panic attack. I closed my eyes and began mentally counting with every breath. I held my breath with each inhale as well as each exhale. Jules was murmuring soft words of praise in my ear. I could feel his fingers pressed against my pulse points.
I wasn’t sure how long it took, but when my breathing evened out, all I could feel was shame and disappointment. My dick had gone soft as all of my body’s adrenaline had been focused on getting oxygen into my lungs.
“Sorry,” I said softly as I dropped my head to Jules’s shoulder.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jules assured me as he settled his hand on the back of my head and pressed kisses against whatever skin he could reach. Eventually, his hands were lifting my head so he could kiss me on the mouth. The teasing kisses got my body’s attention in a good way and soon I was hungrily kissing him back. Blood raced to fill my dick. Jules had managed to loosen my jeans enough that he could slip his hands inside of them. He palmed my dick, rubbing his hand up and down the length of my shaft.
It was the first time he’d touched me in such an intimate way. My breathing ticked up, but not out of fear. It felt too damn good to be afraid. I dropped my head back as Jules’s skilled fingers massaged, fisted, and rubbed every part of my dick. His mouth was locked on my nipple again. The dueling sensations made all the need I’d been feeling return in a rush.
Jules continued to love me with his mouth and hand while his free hand eased my zipper down. The sound of it should have freaked me out, but I welcomed it. It meant Jules could push my jeans down enough to expose my dick and ass. I opened my mouth to protest when his mouth and hands disappeared, but anything I had to say fell by the wayside because Jules’s lips were back on mine. He was in control of the kiss. His tongue slid against mine over and over. At some point, my arms wrapped around his body and I lifted him so our mouths were evenly aligned.
My body was on fire by the time Jules ripped his mouth from mine. “Do you want to keep going?” he asked, his voice low and harsh. Knowing the man in my arms was consumed with need and yet still found the control to make sure I was okay, to give me the choice of what would happen next, stole my breath.
In the best way possible.
“Yes,” I ground out and then his mouth was once again latched on to mine. I was so lost in how good kissing Jules felt that I didn’t notice that he’d managed to turn our bodies so that the bed was behind me. When he urged me backwards, I automatically sat down when my legs hit the bed. Jules remained standing. He’d managed to maneuver us so that he was standing between my legs.
I ceded all control to Jules when he broke the kiss and latched on to my neck, then the sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder met. I used my arms to brace myself on the bed as Jules made his way down my body until he was kneeling on the floor between my legs. His eyes lifted to hold mine as he closed his fingers around my throbbing dick. The contrast of my flushed cock against his pale skin was intoxicating.
Jules kept his eyes on me as he used one hand to slide up and down my cock and the other to massage my balls. The pressure in my dick was all-consuming. My heart was racing and I was panting instead of breathing, but there was no fear. I was mesmerized as Jules leaned forward so he could lick the pre-cum from the head of my dick.
“Fuck,” I ground out.
The muscles in my arms burned as I kept myself upright so I could watch everything Jules’s sinful tongue was doing to me. When his mouth finally closed over the head of my cock, I was sure I’d come then and there. Instinct took over as he drew more of my dick into his mouth. I began pressing forward. Jules’s shiny lips were stretched wide to accommodate my girth. His hand held the base of my dick so he could angle my length in such a way that the next time I slid forward, more of my cock disappeared into his hot mouth.
“Jules,” I whispered in disbelief as he kept his eyes on me and continued to take every inch of me. When he began to gag, I tried to pull back, but Jules simply followed. When he began to swallow so he could suck even more of my dick down his throat, I gave up on trying to watch him and just let go. My arms gave out as wave after wave of sensation washed over me. I fell to my back on the bed and covered my face with my hands. All I could do was feel as Jules sucked me to the back of his throat. Somehow, he managed to get his lips down my shaft until his nose was buried in my groin. I swore I heard him inhale like he was drawing my scent into his lungs.
As soon as Jules began bobbing up and down the length of my dick, I knew I was a goner. “I’m not going to last,” I warned. I’d been dreaming of this moment forever, but I’d fantasized about the stranglehold his tight ass muscles would have on my cock when I was seated deep inside of him.
Problem was—and it really wasn’t a problem—I had no control over what happened next. Jules was in complete control. His saliva slickened my dick, making it easier for him to blow me. The urge to remain buried inside of him took over and I soon began lifting my lips so I could fuck his mouth. I couldn’t help but brace myself on my elbows so I could lift my head enough to watch. Jules’s cheeks were hollowed out as he sucked me. With every thrust, he swallowed. The move made the pressure in my balls build and build. I was so close to coming, but something inside of me was fighting to hang on to that last shred of control.
He slid his hand up the bed, searching out mine. I linked his fingers with mine and began pumping my hips harder. The need to come was bordering on pain.
“Jules,” I warned because my body could no longer do battle with itself. The impending orgasm was building upon itself the harder he worked my dick. The need to come finally won over the fear of what would happen if I did. I sat up and clutched the back of Jules’s head so I could hold him in place while I fucked his mouth. The sight of my reddened shaft disappearing between his shimmering lips was the tipping point. I fucked his mouth so hard that my balls were slapping his chin. I knew I was being too rough, but I couldn’t stop.
“Jules, I can’t… I can’t?—”
He began swallowing, milking my dick for the jizz that was right there. All I had to do was let go. When my eyes met his, that was it. I cried out as the rubber band inside of me finally snapped. I somehow managed to watch as I began to empty my release down Jules’s throat. Relief crashed through me in in violent pulses that left me too weak to keep myself upright. The last thing I saw before I fell back onto the bed was my semen coating Jules’s lips as he tried and failed to swallow every drop of it all at once. I gave in to the powerful orgasm that seemed to go on forever. I was sweating and struggling to breathe by the time my release began to ease. It felt like I’d run a marathon.
A really hot, hard, unbelievably charged marathon.
I was boneless by the time my mind became aware of where I was and what was happening. I could hear and feel Jules’s tongue as he lovingly licked and slurped at my softening cock. When he crawled up my body and kissed me, he fed me my own cum. We feasted on it together and then it was just him lying on top of me. His hard dick was pressed against my abdomen, proof that he hadn’t taken his own pleasure. I wanted to tell him I’d take care of him, but I was unable to speak. I was still floating on what remained of the natural high Jules had given me.
I wasn’t sure whether I nodded off or not, but the next thing I was aware of was Jules pressing soft kisses along my jaw and neck. His hand was rubbing my chest. He was lying partly on top of me with his upper body. His groin was pressed against my hip and his legs were intertwined with mine. It took me a second to realize that not only was he still hard, but he was naked from the waist down.
“I need to take care of you,” I murmured as I turned my head so I could kiss Jules on the mouth. He returned the kiss which went from tender and seeking to hot and hungry in a matter of moments.
Jules broke the kiss long enough to whisper, “Don’t worry, you will,” right before he reached beneath the pillow and pulled out a small bottle of lube.
“I have condoms,” Jules offered, even though there were none in sight. His message was clear. He wanted me inside of him without anything between us.
I’d never even considered fucking a guy without a condom before my second heart attack, but now it was all I could think about. I tugged Jules until he was once again lying on my chest. “Throw them away,” I whispered against his mouth right before I opened my lips over his and sought entry into his hot, wet, welcoming mouth.