Chapter 4
For the remainder of our stroll to my mother’s home, Cyderial kept my fingers intertwined with his.
The taboo of touching a male tickled at my thoughts. People, humans, could see this. They were watching our every move. Yet none rushed forward to tear us apart and punish the offense.
All because I now belonged to him in a way that could never be undone.
Not quite property, but definitely not free.
I was expected to let this man touch me, to touch him in return, for we would be together whether we liked it or not, for the totality of our very long lives.
What a concept to consider while walking through those overcrowded streets. Far more palatable to think about when I wasn’t trapped in his home or pinned under his body. What had he called my shifts protecting the farmers? “Scheduled moments where I was allowed fresh air”?
Blinking at the upheaval churning in my guts, I felt him offer a reassuring squeeze of my fingers as if he knew where my thoughts wandered.
“Are you enjoying the walk?”
I hesitated, eyes flicking back to the audience. “Everyone is watching us. Why are they pointing their communication devices at us?”
“They are recording. You are beautiful, and the news I am mated is something the broadcasts consider interesting. Your face will be known by everyone in the city by the end of the night.”
“Oh… that’s….” I didn’t like that.
Another squeeze of my fingers. “I’m sorry. Males of my rank cannot prevent human fascination with our lives. Much of what the broadcasts say will not be based in fact but in fantasy. And you never need be exposed to any of it. We will keep their nonsense out of our home.”
I tore my eyes from the throngs of humanity. Searching his face for any hint of threat. That such a statement was a warning that should I dare to run, my life would be at risk simply because everyone would know who I belonged to. I would be returned immediately or maltreated… as he had mentioned there were many who might strike at him through harming me.
Were this a test at the academy, it would be nothing to fool the teachers into perceiving me in a way that progressed my personal agenda—play to the humans for my benefit. Because my whole life had been one huge performance. And that had done me no favors in the end, had it?
So, I looked upon the humans with a curious eye, wondered why they cared if Cyderial had taken a mate, and accepted there was a whole culture I knew nothing about.
Which put me, once again, at a massive disadvantage.
These things should have been taught to young girls at the academy.
Cyderial halted my steps near a quaint high-walled courtyard boasting a pretty wrought-iron gate and gave me a long look. “Before we go inside, I want you to remember—you’re not a little girl anymore. You’re a trained vorec-killing machine. They may not treat you as they did when you were a less intimidating child.”
“I am charming, and my birthmother loves me,” I said as he reached for the gate’s latch, practically buzzing with excitement to see my mother.
The arched beige portal swung inward, leading to a small courtyard full of potted plants and drying laundry. There at the center of it all was the tiny woman I adored with my whole heart.
It had been so long that I dwarfed her now and could hardly equate the smiling woman with my memory.
“Lorieyn! Oh my goodness, yes, come in!” Talking fast, my mother pulled me into a tight embrace. The gate closed with the sound of a thrown lock once we were off the street. “I cannot tell you how excited I am to see you. And married to a general no less.”
Her husband waited to greet us as well, Richard having aged so much that his hair was mostly white. “Here, here!” he exclaimed, reaching for my hands. “Your genes are nothing but the best, Jae! Of course your hybrid would draw a fine fellow like General Cyderial.”
I had always liked Richard and found it easy to accept his kind hug. “Hello, Richard.”
Side by side, they made a cute pair. Energetic and familiar with one another in a way Cyderial and I were decidedly not.
And then it came time for them to size up the large, uniformed man standing tall at my back.
My mom broke the silence, all sweet smiles. “He’s very handsome, Lorieyn.”
I supposed he was, if we were speaking purely of the physical, but I was not going to say so aloud.
Fortunately, Richard rushed forward to offer his hand to my mate. “I am such a fan! Back when you were in the ring, that fight against Gigof? I still watch replays.” Richard’s fist bounced off Cyderial’s outer arm, the man saying, “But we’ll keep that between us. Those files are too special to destroy.”
As if a stranger inhabited his body, with one easy grin, Cyderial became absolutely charismatic —all smiles and politeness. “Your secret is safe with me, sir. That was a match worth remembering.”
Despite his confession of disliking my mother, General Cyderial made an effort to be kind to my family. The men traded commentary on memorable arena fights I had no knowledge of. I was left staring at Cyderial like he was some alien creature I’d never beheld.
Both were clearly passionate about the subject.
“Eh, leave the men.” Motioning for me to step into her delightful house, my mother smiled. “I have made us some fine tea. Grew the leaves myself and saved them for a special occasion.”
This was everything I hoped for, all those years I longed for her finally realized. Grinning from ear to ear, I answered, “I would love some of your tea, Mom.”
She hurried me inside, leading me down a small foyer to a tight eating space. Though maybe it only seemed tight, as the large table was packed full of my siblings and one aloof stranger.
Gesturing to each of her offspring, my mother began introductions. “You remember Dana, my eldest. As you can see, she’s about to have her first baby. And next to her is her husband, Johan.”
Nearest in age to me, but still quite young, I was surprised to see my seventeen-year-old sister not only married but pregnant. “Congratulations,” I said.
Not a word was offered in response. Instead, Dana kept her eyes downcast on the table, refusing to acknowledge me. Worse, her husband did run his eyes over my person… but with outright disgust.
“Aie, Dana, don’t be so rude!” our mother interjected, obviously embarrassed. Waving a hand at me, she added, “Hormones, you know?”
“And here is Gerald, Suzanne, Mei, Curtis, and Pauline. The little ones over there are Judy, Joon, Sarah, and Cici.”
Ten children in seventeen years, some hardly out of diapers.
Undaunted by the room’s weighty silence, I fell back on the fact that little children at the academy always loved me. Crouching down to the youngest ones’ level, I gave a grinning hello and offered my hand in play.
Sarah and Cici both instantly burst into screaming tears.
Gratuitous apologies falling from my lips, I backed away, mortified I frightened my siblings.
“Oh, don’t mind them.” My mother, clearly embarrassed, motioned for Richard to quiet the babies. “They have never seen a hybrid before.”
But we didn’t look all that different, did we?
Shaking his head as if I were indeed as stupid as I felt, Dana’s husband gestured toward my talons. “It’s the claws. Your lizard hands scared them.”
”I didn”t mean to.” Shoving my taloned fists behind my back, I felt shame. Yet, Cyderial eased up close, wrapping his arm around me.
To my brother-in-law, he said, “Johan Custis, son of Proctor Custis, correct? You’re an unloading agent at Sky Pier 15. Unranked worker, day shift.”
The human male seemed surprised the general knew personal details, adding to his hostility with a defensive reply. “What about it?”
Cyderial’s words flowed out with perfect articulation, as if each syllable carried its own dire threat. “Nothing at all, boy.”
This was not what I hoped for, everything having become far more complicated once I stepped inside my mother’s home. Many of my siblings did not even look pleased to see me, most too busy with their devices to so much as look up at their eldest sister.
And I was pretty sure my expression betrayed how insecure this made me feel.
“Lorieyn, General, I have seats for you here.” Gesturing toward the table, my mother asked us to sit. “Please. Let’s have some tea.”
Directly across from Dana, who refused to lift her eyes to me, I tried to ignore Johan, his posture oddly indolent and his knees spread wide. Instead, I offered a shy smile to the other elder siblings. “I have been so excited to meet you! Every year, when I would get my birthday letter, I couldn’t wait to hear all about your accomplishments.”
With a scoff, Johan muttered, “The letter Jae was ordered to write?”
Biting back the hiss I wanted to send that horrible man’s way, I set my gaze on my eldest brother. “Gerald, are you still apprenticing at the bakery with our mother?”
Johan rolled his eyes, but Gerald was kind enough to smile back. “Yes, I helped bake your wedding cake. Mom decorated it.”
“I loved it! I never knew cake could be so many colors. We’re not allowed to eat it at the academy.” Leaning forward with a conspiratory smirk, I said, “But I have had a bite or two of chocolate cake over the years. Your kaleidoscope of vorec colors was a fun surprise!”
Proudly, Gerald smiled. “For hybrid rights.”
Johan turned on the teenager, showing teeth. “What rights do they need? They are half animal.”
Verbally abusing my brother set something off inside me I didn”t understand. But there was no reigning it in.
Snarling, I leaned forward and put my hideous clawed hands on the table. “Listen here. You have no right to be disrespectful to my brother. I don’t care who you are. Clearly, you have an issue with the fact that this wonderful woman gave birth to me, but you married into my mother’s family, so deal with it. I haven’t seen her in ten years, and you are spoiling a moment I have dreamed of since I was five!”
Trying to smooth things over, my mother”s husband put his hands before him, palms up. “Johan, man, come on. Not everyone here agrees with your views. We have an important guest in the house,” he pleaded, gesturing not to me but to the esteemed General Cyderial.
The great arena champion.
With a voice calming and in opposition to my aggression, Cyderial addressed Johan directly. “It”s okay, Richard. I would like to hear his point of view regarding hybrids. Please, Johan, share your thoughts with the room.”
The unkind human male was only too happy to comply.
“We have reached a point where humans have an established future on Risa,” he spat, glaring directly at me. “There is no longer a need to corrupt the human genome with prehistoric lizard DNA and give our limited resources to hybrid freaks. Fact is, everyone in this room knows we don’t need to shoulder the expense of maintaining your kind anymore. I fully support the End Date Decree that terminates hybrid life at the age of fifty and imposes a ban on the creation of more lizard abominations! The law will be ratified in a year or two,” he said, smug, nodding as he crossed his arms and leaned back with a smirk. “You have my word on that.”
My back was up, my eyes blazing, but at my side sat a calm, collected, and very dangerous male. With a soft smile just for me, Cyderial shared my accomplishments. “Lorieyn has guarded field workers since she was fifteen. Your resources come from her diligence. Moreover, she has been wounded in the field three hundred and sixteen times but has never lost a single farmhand. She is the only hybrid recruit who can boast such a record. Are you so sure you wish to remove her from her post?”
My unwanted mate defended me to a raging idiot.
Taken aback by how strange it all was, I didn’t know what to say. Not when he spoke of my service as if he was proud of me. The strange bubbling between my hearts led me to wonder if I wanted him to be proud of me. Because it felt really good.
And not just because he was my commanding officer.
There was something positively lovely about his tone when he boasted on my behalf, something that soothed my ruffled feathers and coaxed me to control my breathing.
A strange power he held in that moment to keep me from thrumming, to keep me from crying, to keep me from feeling alone in that room full of relations.
A room that was dead-silent despite his praise.
To my speechless mother, I offered a correction, “The general is exaggerating. I was only in the infirmary a handful of times. We heal so quickly that it’s rarely necessary to seek treatment.”
Cyderial took my hand, placing our joined fingers on the table for all to see. “Not every wound requires surgery or the setting of bones. Vorec are dangerous, and yes, they have sharp claws. Full humans cannot heal from a lacerated abdomen the way you can. You can take twenty strikes, where a single one would leave Johan bleeding out as he tried to stuff his entrails back inside his body.”
Puffing out his chest, if a little pale, Johan boasted, “I have trained in the use of a sword and have killed three vorec.”
Three? That was it? A ten-year-old hybrid would’ve killed at least three. I asked, “All three at the same time?”
“Well… no,” he said, as if my question were absurd.
Seeing how soft he was, how little definition he possessed, I asked, “And you were able to breathe in the fog?”
“Why would I go into the fog when we have high-functioning filters?” Sitting taller, he added, “Every year, we push them out farther. The atmosphere of this planet will be fully converted for human use in a century or two.”
The angry human extremist was delusional. One could not force an entire planet to conform to the whims of a foreign species. Nature would fight back, and a man of his caliber would not make it five feet into the fog.
It wasn’t that I wanted to encourage his delusion, but I just had to know. “If you were not in the fog, how did you kill three vorec?”
Leaning toward me, Cyderial explained, “Humans pay a great sum to chase vorec in enclosed hunting grounds. It”s considered a sport. The beasts” claws have been clipped, and they are fully muzzled. They are usually somewhat sedated as well.”
I recoiled.
That was so cruel!
“I see.” The man was as spineless as he was deluded. Perhaps I could be a little hateful as well. “As your sister-in-law, I would be happy to take you into the fog sometime, if you’d like to try your hand at facing down vorec in real life.”
My mother interposed before Johan might respond to my baiting, “Lorieyn, it’s been nice seeing you, but I’m afraid tea is out of the question. I think you should leave now.”
I recoiled as if she slapped me.
Hurt, I swung my head her way, only to find firm resolve had stolen her smile, a protective hand clasping Johan’s shoulder.
“You are ordering me from your home, when this… hateful fraud is welcome to sit at your table?”
Even though she said it gently, she may as well have ripped out my hearts and held them up for me to see. “I”ll walk you out.”
Tears already gathered in my eyes, and they were going to fall. They were going to fall, because the pain of her rejection might just kill me. Had Cyderial not been there, I’m not certain I would have found my footing. I would have just sat there, staring at her, confused.
But he drew me from my chair and guided my shuffling form from the room so we might follow her to the door.
I didn’t understand. This woman claimed that she loved me in every last letter she sent.
Passing through the portal, we emerged into the sun, but I didn’t pay any mind to the warmth or the smells of her wonderfully overcrowded garden. I didn’t notice details of the laundry drying on the line or the buzzing of afternoon insects.
I was blind to it all.
At the threshold of her pretty gate, my birthmother whispered a hasty apology, as if being overheard by any nearby humans might cause real harm. “He could keep me from my grandchild; you must understand that. I don’t agree with his rhetoric, but my daughter will need me.”
My daughter.
As if I hadn’t clung to the same title these last ten years. As if it didn’t belong to me at all.
Because I was no more than the half-lizard child she sold when it turned five.
“I have loved you my whole life,” I muttered. “I used to cry myself to sleep when I was lonely for you at the academy.” Gesturing to her fine home, I sniffed. “I suffered, so you could have all of this. Do you even think of me as your daughter?”
She tried to assure me, wielding a sad smile and flapping hands. “You were a wonderful child, and look at how far you’ve come. The wife of a general! You don’t need me anymore. Dana does.”
I had needed her every day since she handed me over to the academy on my fifth birthday. “I’m not his wife. I’m his mate. And unlike you, he can’t ever throw me away.”
“Lorieyn, please. My children have to come first.”
What did that make me? “Goodbye, Jae. Don’t send me any more cakes.”