CHAPTER THIRTY
LIAM
The car pulls out of the lot and I exhale as it drives farther and farther away.
Sliding into mine, I don’t even input directions, taking myself anywhere besides home.
I get closer to the field, needing its peace right now.
Parking in the empty lot, I make no move to leave as my thoughts run through my head.
We talked about everything tonight.
Well, almost everything . . .
We finally brought it all to light, and yet, something still tugs at me.
Something doesn’t let me fully enjoy this.
Raising my hand, I map the constellations one by one, hoping it does away with this feeling.
After an hour or so, my heart doesn’t let go of this emotion, so I suck it up and head home.
After the longer drive back, as the field is farther out than the venue was, I turn right as I get closer to my house, slowing down when I reach Crystal Pines.
I shouldn’t tell her. I mean, we just patched up a wound from five years ago. Talking about feelings now?
Drumming my index fingers on the wheel, I worry that it’s not the right time. Maybe months from now, maybe we can . . . I have to wait for the perfect time.
The thing is, when’s the perfect time?
Finally fed up, I push my foot to the gas pedal as I rush to my destination.
I used to believe that if I ever told Bianca my feelings, it would strain our friendship, but communication is what’s helped us thus far.
I told her my truth today, but I didn’t tell her everything.
After going through the visitor’s gate, I park at the curb in front of her house and turn off the engine quickly before hustling out.
I get to her front door and knock, but no one answers.
I knock again. But nothing.
Glancing at my watch, it’s eleven thirty.
I nod in understanding. As I start to walk away from the front door, I notice a light turns on in the only window along the side of the house, and I freeze for a moment, but then walk closer to it to inspect.
The curtains open slightly, and her eyes widen.
The window swings open and I smile at her.
She’s got on teal satin pajamas, the shorts coming to mid-thigh, stirring something in me. Her hair is tucked into a messy bun, tiny strands framing her face. What makes her even more radiant is the lack of makeup. Her freckles are on full display.
Honestly, she’s so gorgeous.
“Liam? What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t let tonight end without—” I start, and the words melt in my mouth. She looks at me, confused, and I scold myself mentally.
Don’t chicken out now. Say something. Say it.
“Without?” she prompts.
Sighing while pinching the bridge of my nose, I look around. There’s not a single soul awake right now. It’s her and me.
Like it’s always been.
“Without . . .” I continue, and she runs her hands over her arms, the wind blowing, no doubt going right through her thin pajamas.
Instinctively, I reach out, wrapping her in a hug, thanking my height for once in my life.
The window comes up to the middle of my torso, making this the perfect height difference.
She wraps her arms around me, her face burying into my neck.
Small puffs from her mouth land on my skin, making me break out in goose bumps.
Pulling back slightly, I rest my forehead against hers. My heart speeds up, as does my breathing, and I open my eyes to see her looking at me with concern.
“What’s wrong, Liam? Tell me, please,” she pleads. She must think something is wrong when she couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Bianca, you killed me tonight,” I confess, watching her expression, hoping she’ll understand. Placing my hands on her face, my thumb rubs along her cheekbone.
She asks, her expression puzzled, “What do you mean?” A beautiful pink starts to color her cheeks, and I smile, feeling the rapid pulse under my fingertips.
“Every time you’ve kissed me on the cheek in the past, you’ve killed me,” I explain, our gazes locked.
“Every. Single. Time,” I continue, moving closer until our lips are almost touching.
Our breaths mingle, tangling together, and her eyes widen slightly.
She grips my wrists as I cup her face, our noses sliding against each other.
I keep eyes trained on her, hoping she wants this too .
. . that it isn’t only me. Her blue eyes fill with nervousness.
But then, they fill with something else akin to longing and when her eyes flutter down to my lips and shut slowly, I close the small space still keeping us apart.
“Please, please, bring me back to life again,” I whisper, my lips brushing hers. When we meet, a symphony plays in my head. She’s warm against me as my tattooed arms wrap around her waist. It’s an electrifying first kiss.
Our first kiss.
Kissing her slowly and tenderly—the passion behind it unmistakable—millions of butterflies take flight in my stomach.
Her lips part slightly as my tongue teases her mouth, and I immediately sense her surprise.
Moving my hand lower, she melts into it when my hand grazes her lower back, a gasp escaping her lips.
Taking advantage of her distraction, my tongue slides into her mouth.
She startles, but sinks into it. Her fingers tug gently at the hairs on the back of my neck, causing a satisfying sound to fall from my lips.
Forget my sounds—what catches me off guard are hers.
All of them having hints of surprise and pleasure only spur me on.
The tentative embrace of her tongue slowly sliding against mine.
Her inexperience peeks through, making this kiss feel that much more special.
I trace her tongue once more, causing her head to tilt slightly, and my hand entwines in her hair.
I have no idea how long it continues, but I pull back as my chest tightens.
I pant slightly, as does she, but she doesn’t say anything, and my mind starts running.
Did she like it?
Did she not?
Oh no, she didn’t, and now I’ve ruined everything.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew . . .
As my mind continues its downward spiral, her hands wrap around my neck and she crashes her lips against mine again.
Surprise takes me, but then is replaced with longing, yearning . . .
Love.
I mash my mouth with hers and she runs her tongue along my bottom lip, seemingly more confident. My heart flutters at that, a satisfied sigh leaving my lips. Her mouth swallows the sound and I smile into the kiss.
“Wait, Freckles,” I say, knowing we need to talk, and we separate. She opens her eyes and they seem to sparkle slightly. “I—” I start, and she raises her hand to her lips, tracing where my lips had been.
“You kissed me.”
A blush comes onto my cheeks. “You kissed me back,” I retort, and she nods while biting her lip; my eyes drop to them.
“Wait. You kissed me?” Her dazed expression drops and the obvious overthinking begins. I wrap a hand around her cheek, wanting her to see the truth in my eyes.
“I kissed you because I wanted to, Freckles. I kissed you because I’ve been waiting years to do that,” I confess, and she gasps.
“I was driving back home tonight, and I thought about you, naturally. I thought about us, how we decided to give our friendship another chance, but I don’t want that.
I want us to be more than that. I always have.
” I look at her, and her mouth hangs open in shock, and I put my hand under her chin, closing it.
“Please say something,” I mutter, defeat coming over me.
This is it. The day I’d dreaded since I realized I was in love with Bianca.
“I’ve always wanted that too, Liam.” My head snaps up and my mouth spreads in a wide grin. She smiles back and I lean my forehead against hers again.
This whole time, she’s wanted me too?
“Freckles, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that,” I say while rubbing my thumbs over her knuckles. She blushes. I look into her enchanting eyes and feel myself being pulled in.
“That was my first kiss,” she mumbles, and my eyes widen at the confession.
“I’m your first kiss?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry if it wasn’t good or anything. I prom—” I press a quick kiss to her lips, shutting her up.
“Freckles, if you had kissed me better than you did, I would’ve had a heart attack,” I truthfully say, and she giggles.
The sound flows through my ears, making the swarm of butterflies attack my insides.
Though, they stop in their tracks when my phone buzzes, the vibration unique to Mom; she’s probably asking where I am.
Bianca glances up at me, her face drops slightly, and I suddenly wish that I didn’t have to go home.
Do I live five minutes away? Yes.
Can I see her tomorrow? Yes.
But do I wanna spend the rest of the night with her right now? Heck yes.
“I have to go,” I mutter reluctantly as I link my hands with hers. She takes a deep breath while I look at her. “I just don’t want to.” She gives me a shy smile before her face lights up. “What, Freckles? I know that face.”
She giggles and gets close to me, our lips a millimeter apart. I want to push our lips together for the third time, but she pulls back when I lean in more.
“What if you left tomorrow morning?” she asks, and I mull over the idea.
Technically, I could text Mom I’ll be home soon and she’ll fall asleep eventually. Plus, leaving Bianca right now sounds like downright torture.
“And where would I stay?”
She blushes and then motions with her head inside, and surprise washes over me. She smiles, biting her lip.
“Your Mom and Josh will see my car, gorgeous.” She frowns at that, her slight blush glowing deeper, probably due to the pet name. She stands there pursing her lips in thought and I think about it too.
“Got it. Park at the little playground we hung out at the other day, and then we’ll get it in the morning.” I look at her in disbelief and she pouts at me.