Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
T he following afternoon, Felix sat in the dimly lit study of his London townhouse staring blankly at the wall, a half-empty glass of brandy by his side.
He’d barely moved since he had left Percy at the hell last night, and now, the quiet stretched out endlessly, punctuated only by the occasional drop of rain against the window.
He had tried everything to distract himself, but nothing could erase the hollowness in his chest, the persistent ache of missing Eloise and the terrible certainty that he was wrong for her.
A firm knock interrupted his silence. Lady Brimsleigh marched into the room before he could respond, her head held high and her eyes sharp.
“Felix,” she began briskly, not bothering with pleasantries as she glanced around the dreary room. “I heard that you are here in London, wasting away in gaming hells instead of attending to your wife. I wish to know why.”
Felix looked away, his jaw tightening. His aunt had always been something of a matriarch, and he found himself unable to stand up to her scolding.
“I am giving her back her freedom,” he replied tersely though even he could hear the emptiness in his words.
Lady Brimsleigh narrowed her eyes. “What a ridiculous notion. Eloise does not need freedom from you; she needs her husband by her side. All you are doing is abandoning her and for no good reason as far as I can see.”
“I am sparing her,” he countered, his voice low. He still didn’t meet his aunt’s eyes. “She deserves a husband better that me, and we both know it.”
Lady Brimsleigh marched around to the front of his chair, snatched his brandy off the table, and glared at him. “I think you have had quite enough of this,” she said. “So, let me get this straight. Instead of facing the life you have begun to build together, you are wallowing here, hiding from her like a coward? I thought better of you, Felix.”
Felix’s frustration flared. “You do not understand. My father… He always put duty before love. Always. I am only continuing that pattern, whether I mean to or not. Eloise does not deserve that . Even Jeremy knows the truth.”
Lady Brimsleigh let out a huff, shaking her head in exasperation. “Yes, I have heard what the Marquess had to say about the situation, and he is as much a fool as you are. Love is not about what we deserve, Felix. Eloise clearly chose you, and you chose her. That kind of choice is rare, a gift, and you should be fighting for it, not running from it.”
Her words struck him harder than he had anticipated, cutting through his carefully constructed doubts.
He opened his mouth to respond but nothing came. Instead, he stared at her, a flicker of hope stirring beneath his guilt.
Lady Brimsleigh placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke with uncharacteristic softness. “Your father’s mistakes are not yours to bear. He chose to divorce your mother. And after she died, he never stopped grieving, and it is in love that he made his mistakes. Do not let his past rob you of your future happiness, Felix. You are your own man, and Eloise saw something in you worth cherishing. So cherish her in return.”
Felix had barely processed Lady Brimsleigh’s words when he heard raised voices in the entryway. He would have bemoaned the presence of yet more people, but he didn’t have the time.
The doors flew open, and Percy strode in looking both exasperated and amused with Jeremy trailing behind him.
“Found something on my doorstep this morning,” Percy announced, giving Jeremy a nudge. “Apparently, he is here to apologize.”
Felix straightened, surprised, as Jeremy looked at him with a mixture of defiance and discomfort.
He shifted uncomfortably, his skin sallow and his eyes tired. He looked as if he’d drowned himself in as much brandy as Felix had in the past days.
“Go ahead, speak,” Percy encouraged, but when Jeremy still hesitated, Percy gave him a light smack on the head, “For God’s sake, Danridge, clean up this mess!”
“All right, all right!” Jeremy flinched as Percy raised his hand again, and the Marquess turned towards Felix, “I received a letter from Lady Hannah,” he said, his voice low, each word weighted with difficulty. Felix noted that he didn’t meet his eyes. “She is staying with Eloise at Kingswell, and, well, she said Eloise is unwell. She… she misses you.”
Jeremy hesitated, casting a nervous glance at Percy, who rolled his eyes and promptly smacked him across the back of his head again. “Out with it, man. For goodness’ sake. The pair of you are like children!”
“Here, here,” Lady Brimsleigh said, seemingly not taken aback at all by the proceedings.
Rubbing his head, Jeremy gave Felix a resigned look. “I wanted to apologize for what I said and… for doubting you, for speaking so harshly. I was ashamed that I could not help our family when they needed me, so I took it out on you.”
Felix felt a pang of sympathy at Jeremy’s admission, recognizing the same guilt he’d carried himself.
“Apology accepted, my friend,” he said quietly, offering him a nod. “We both acted out of pride. And for what it is worth, Eloise would never hold it against you.”
Jeremy looked relieved, a tentative smile breaking across his face. “Thank you. I must admit I was surprised to hear how much Eloise cares for you.”
Felix snorted. “I suppose it is surprising that any woman could care for me.”
Percy clapped them both on the back, looking between them with satisfaction. “Ah, look at that. Two grown men talking things out like proper gentlemen.” He paused, a mischievous glint in his eye. “But there is another matter to discuss and one I doubt that you are going to like, Felix.”
Jeremy nodded, his expression darkening once. “In her letter, Lady Hannah mentioned another visitor to Kingswell… one Stephen Birks. Viscount Kaylocke. Does the name ring a bell?”
Felix’s stomach tightened at the name. “Kaylocke? He has been visiting Eloise?”
Percy tapped his lips, frowning as he remembered. “Kaylocke… I knew I recognized him from somewhere, and now, it has come to me. He was often seen at the gaming hells some time ago, but I could not place him until just now.”
“Oh yes, Viscount Kaylocke has frequented such establishments for many years. Along with his close friend, Lord Radcliffe, if I recall correctly,” Lady Brimsleigh said cautiously. “They have been seen together in the more unsavory corners of London. No doubt you three gentleman have too.”
Felix’s eyes widened as he exchanged a look with Percy.
Radcliffe.
The man who had lost his wealth to Felix in a card game. The man who had taken his own life thanks to his debt.
“That cannot be good,” Percy murmured, his tone dark.
Felix knew what he had to do. His every thought was now focused on getting back to Kingswell.
“I need to be with Eloise. Now .”
Without waiting for a response, Felix grabbed his cloak and hat, his heart pounding with a renewed sense of urgency and purpose.
Whatever doubts had held him back before were now gone.
He had to protect her, no matter what the cost.